Haven't had this problem before. . .

[Gemini350z]

Ok Ladies-

I have a little issue, I want to know if I am being over sensitive or not. My SO and myself have been dating for two years. He is three years younger than me, I am 24 and he is 21, we are both in college. I am a very social person, I like to go out and have a good time. In my previous relationships my SO and myself would go out to the clubs, bars, shows, etc and live life. Now with my current SO he stated that he does not like to go out all that much, but that if I get him over that "hump" he wouldnt mind (because once he is out he has a good time). Its just it takes effort to get him to that point. We have been out a few times, it was cool, we both got tipsy had a good time. But a week or so later, I ask if we can do something go out etc, and he states that he doesnt really like going out with me, and would rather go out with his boy. It hurt my feelings because I really like going out and would rather be with my man, having fun than with my girls who are trying to get men. Sometimes it makes me feel like he is embarrassed with me, or he does not like all the attention I get.

Now as of late he has been going out almost every Thursday with his friend, and It makes me wonder, why is it so easy for him to get over this "hump" when his boy asks but when I ask, its a problem when I ask if he wants to go out? I have been trying to get him to do this for about two years. I am not sure what to think. Give me some advice ladies.

 

[Angelicus]

I don't know why he prefers the company of another man over you. I really hope you and him open up some communication barriers. I am not making excuses for him but he is 21... he's a baby.

 

[Gemini350z]

I understand he is 21 but he acts older than his actual age. I guess it is how he was raised by his parents, his sister(12) and himself both act much more mature than their age. Its strange.

We have talked about it, sometimes he says he does not like how I act when I am drinking, then the next time he says I wish you were like this all the time. So I ask which is it.

 

[Gemini350z]

to the top, ladies please keep it coming i need to make sense of this

 

[Nsslovely]

21 or 31, some men just like hanging out with their boys. Maybe he has a different type of fun with the guys versus just you and I understand, I have way more fun with my friends (out clubbing) than with my SO. There's too many issues involved when out clubbing with a SO, besides there's some really disrepctful men out there that will disregard your BF and further cause a whole bunch of other drama. Try to find other things for you guys to do instead of clubbing.

 

[sky_blu]

I don't know why he prefers the company of another man over you. I really hope you and him open up some communication barriers. I am not making excuses for him but he is 21... he's a baby

Sounds about right. When I started off reading your post I thought he was a homebody. But if he can go out with his friend with no problem, Im curious to know why he can't go out with his girl. That makes no sense.

 

[Gemini350z]

Sounds about right. When I started off reading your post I thought he was a homebody. But if he can go out with his friend with no problem, Im curious to know why he can't go out with his girl. That makes no sense.

I am not talking about clubbing, yes, I love to dance, but I am talking about going out PERIOD.


Yeah, I would love doing other stuff, I tried to get him to go to the beach all summer, I like hiking, water sports, skiing, anything really. I just like being out. And he really is a homebody, he doesn't like sports like I do, but when it comes to going out with his boy to the bar, he is down. But with moi, not so much. lol


It doesn't make sense to me either. I am very accommodating when it comes to what he wants and with him going out.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

ya dont bring sand to the beach!

 

[bimbabe]

I would tell him go ahead. And go out with my girlfriends more. Then he will be begging you to spend some time with him.

 

[Nayna]

I'm not into games but start playing his, go out with ur girls, hit him with the 'baby i'll see u later' type of thing, that way u wont be so concerned and he'll come around at some point because ur not even bothering trying to include him.

 

[Gemini350z]

you ladies make perfect sense!!

 

[SisterGirl*]

alternate lifestyle maybe?

 

[hopeful]

Well this would be a dealbreaker for me. If you are sociable and like to get out and he never wants to go out with you, how much fun can that be? It would be bad enough if he didn't go out at all, but to prefer going out with his male friend sounds strange. I tell you what, I would not keep asking him to go out. If he so mature why can't he verbalize what the deal is? You should know if it is indeed how you behave when you are out or not. What are you doing that is so embarrassing to him? I think you really need to get to the bottom of this and nip it in the bud.

 

[Gemini350z]

Thanks Hopeful!

I will do that.

I know for sure its not an alternative lifestyle

 

[AnjelLuvs]

What guy actually wants to go watch a game with girl? Most men I know don't... And, don't like it if tooo clingy...

Sorry, but this is what it sounds like, why spend every moment together, so young... Doesn't sound compatible to me... Homebody vs. Socialite

Go out and enjoy UR life with girls, you guys need space... It isnt like yall married... erplexed...

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

We have been out a few times, it was cool, we both got tipsy had a good time. But a week or so later, I ask if we can do something go out etc, and he states that he doesnt really like going out with me, and would rather go out with his boy. .

Could it have something to do with alcohol?