Have you ever been dumped by a guy?

[Ganjababy]

I cannot remember ever being dumped by a man. I have never been in the situation where they do the disappearing act or tricked me into thinking I dumped them but they had already clocked out of the relationship. Though I have seen it happen to a couple people IRL.

I thought this was the norm with most women. They (the men) chase us, we decide if they are worthy of our attention. If they are we have a relationship. During said relationship, if they are not up to par they get the boot.


I thought most women did the dumping. But since being on this site I have started to think this is not true.

Maybe I'm getting old and things have changed?

 

[LovelyRo]

The majority of them still force the woman to dump them.

 

[Hairsnob]

Usually the guys forced me to dump them.

But I was only dumped once. I was told he "needed space". Broke my heart because it came out of nowhere and even that day before he said he loved me so much and how perfect of a girlfriend I was. I didn't beg and plead with him and I reluctantly gave him ALL the space he needed because i refused to agree to be a part-time girlfriend so he could have space to cheat. So he actually forced me to dump him i guess. Turns out the "space" he needed was to give him time to test out the new girlfriend.

I was brokenhearted and lost 15 pounds in a month but the funny thing is that he never knew how hurt I was because I pretended I was OK by not calling him EVER and then when he called i'd tell him about my fun new single life. Thank God for my girlfriends who got me through it. The whole time he begged to see me and not lose what we had. Whatever!!! Oh, and the new girlfriend turned out to be a liar and a drunk and to this day he tries to get me back..

 

[Briabiggles]

Yup, I have. But I already knew it wasn't a good fit. I moved on pretty quickly.

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

 

[Ganjababy]

This is what I think too. That I knew who the jerks who would do this would be and stayed clear.

I remember going on a first date with someone who had asked me out. I really had doubts but could not pinpoint the reasons so decided to go to the movies with him. We are standing in line and just before we were next to pay he stepped out of the line. I nearly fainted.

I was likeerplexed and stepped out also. I would rather endure extreme torture than pay for a guy on a date. He stepped back in line after he realised I was not going to pay. The night was ruined and I blocked him after that. I was just sorry I had not just walked away after he stepped out of the line. Instead I spent the next 2 hours in shocked silence with my face looking like

I knew he would be the type to be playing stupid games.

Yup, I have. But I already knew it wasn't a good fit. I moved on pretty quickly.

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

 

[SincerelyJane]

Yeah my college boyfriend. I didn't take it well either since we dated almost the entire time we were in school and had plans to get married. It felt like it came out of nowhere. I think his problem was that he always saw himself as a breadwinner but he wasn't on track to outpace me in terms of salary and my job was just more impressive than his, and he couldn't handle that. So he dumped me. He was a very macho type of dude, or tried to keep that image up, even though he cried basically everytime I tried to end the relationship myself . His wife does something art related so she came up where I would have come down. Everybody wins.

I'm glad he did it. I'm not fit to be a breadwinner, and I'm not reducing my lifestyle for anyone . If you're not doing as well as I am or better I don't even bother. Anyway him leaving opened up room for men who were better for me overall. I don't have any anger because he treated me well and I'm happy we're both happy where we are.

 

[AHeadOfCoils]

This is what I think too. That I knew who the jerks who would do this would be and stayed clear.

I remember going on a first date with someone who had asked me out. I really had doubts but could not pinpoint the reasons so decided to go to the movies with him. We are standing in line and just before we were next to pay he stepped out of the line. I nearly fainted.

I was likeerplexed and stepped out also. I would rather endure extreme torture than pay for a guy on a date. He stepped back in line after he realised I was not going to pay. The night was ruined and I blocked him after that. I was just sorry I had not just walked away after he stepped out of the line. Instead I spent the next 2 hours in shocked silence with my face looking like

I knew he would be the type to be playing stupid games.

I would have died!! I'm just happy that you stepped out too and didn't pay.

 

[SmileyNY]

Yes. When I was 18, my first boyfriend (I wasnt allowed to date in high school) dumped me because I wanted to go home for the summer after my first year of college (I went away for college). He said he didn't do long distance relationships. I guess he thought that would keep me from going... but I went anyway lol.

His summer of freedom must not have worked out too well because he was trying to get back together as soon as returned. I eventually gave him another chance. Ah, to be young & dumb with time to waste.

 

[Oasis]

we weren't dating just hanging out but he told me he was seeing someone else two weeks after i gave my virginity to him. fun times.

 

[SmileyNY]

The majority of them still force the woman to dump them.

Yep. I friend of mine was telling me how he was done with his relationship. He felt she was too clingy and needy. I asked him how he was planning to tell her.

He said he wasn't. He was just going to start acting more & more distant until she broke up with him. I called him a coward.


That was 3 months ago... now she's 2 months pregnant. So I guess she had plans of her own for "saving" the relationship He's an idiot.

 

[faithVA]

^^I think most guys let the woman break it off. I think the average guy is quite passive and avoids conflict and confrontation.

 

[MizAvalon]

Yes, I have. It was extremely painful and took me many years to get over it.

Also, just wanted to piggyback on a little of what was said upthread. Most men are too cowardly to dump a woman. They will just behave so poorly that a woman is fed up enough to finally leave him. Meanwhile, he checked out long ago but was just too cowardly and lazy to do the hard work of breaking up.

 

[**SaSSy**]

A lot of men will emotionally and sexually detach from a woman way before they verbalized it, then wait for the woman to break up with them to save face.

Sent from my lavish iPhone

 

[AHeadOfCoils]

Guys find it easier for a woman to break up with them. If he breaks up with her, she will blow him up until he responds and gives a reason why. If she breaks up with him, she's more than likely going to go hard and tell him to screw himself. It's easier on the male... Avoid and be distant until SHE gets fed up. That way, they can act like they didn't do anything wrong and she broke his heart. When they decide they want her back, they can play the "you broke up with me" card and she will fall right back into the same old trap.

 

[BrickbyBrick]

**raises hand**. I have been dumped. but only because his older sister guilted him and told him to stop stringing me along (he had a girlfriend in Canada the entire time). HUGE blow to my ego, since up until then I had the Boris Kodjoe "who's going to leave me?" outlook. Back then, I thought, no.....I KNEW I was God's gift to mankind

I unlearned that right quick that day

 

[LdyKamz]

Does a high school boyfriend count? He dumped me when I switched schools. He used to come up to my school everyday to pick me up and ended up meeting another chick in one of my classes. He told me he wanted a break because everyone told him he made such a cute couple with the other girl. 10 years later and dude is still trying to get me back. I'm in grad school and he still doesn't have a hs diploma erplexed

 

[mscurly]

The way I see it, if a man is treating you poorly, disappearing, not paying you as much attention, or whatever just to get you to leave him alone. Technically he dumped you anyway, his actions said he didn't want you anymore.

Being dumped is when one person no loner WANTS the other person regardless of how its done. To me getting dumped isn't just saying the words. Most times peoples actions speak much louder than their words.

 

[NGraceO]

The way I see it, if a man is treating you poorly, disappearing, not paying you as much attention, or whatever just to get you to leave him alone. Technically he dumped you anyway, his actions said he didn't want you anymore. Being dumped is when one person no loner WANTS the other person regardless of how its done. To me getting dumped isn't just saying the words. Most times peoples actions speak much louder than their words.

Love this. It is with this logic that I realized that "wait-I HAVE been dumped."

Men are straight slick.

NGraceO

 

[Dartagnan]

Guys find it easier for a woman to break up with them. If he breaks up with her, she will blow him up until he responds and gives a reason why. If she breaks up with him, she's more than likely going to go hard and tell him to screw himself. It's easier on the male... Avoid and be distant until SHE gets fed up. That way, they can act like they didn't do anything wrong and she broke his heart. When they decide they want her back, they can play the "you broke up with me" card and she will fall right back into the same old trap.

Yeah a few guys I know have done this but the time I told a girl I didn't want to be with her she did blow me up asking to get back with me. I didn't listen because we both knew that was ego instead of really wanting to be together talking. We still talk every now and then. More girls would get their walking papers if stereotypically some didn't act like guys that y'all don't give your number lol. It's sucker stuff but just like alot of girls we try to avoid doing something that you know is going to hurt even though we should.

 

[MzLady78]

Yep. It was that break up that started me posting on this board, and shockingly, those first few posts were in the Christianity forum. I came across LHCF because I was looking for tips on relaxing my own hair (I'd moved to AZ with my then bf and didn't have a hairdresser).

I NEVER thought I'd get over that relationship because I'd lost so much. Not just emotionally/mentally but financially. Whenever I find myself trying to move on from a situation, I try to remember that time in my life. If I got through that, I can get through anything.

 

[thatscuteright]

I got the disappearing act.

 

[Godyssey]

I typically DID the disappearing. I never even thought about the other persons feelings, never occurred to me but the relationships were teenage, juvenile stuff, nothing serious. When I was a little older and the one time that it happened to ME, I was so screwed up! And the kicker is, we'd only dated a month, so there was no love involved. Lots of like, but not love.

During that month, we spent all of our time together when I was off work. When I left work, I went directly to his place of business and would hang out until close. At night he'd take me out to dinner and afterwards he'd either stay at my place or I'd stay at his. In the mornings, he drove me to work. As far as I knew everything was great.

I had a modeling thing to go to in New York the next month and he offered to take me and make a mini vacation out of it. Unbeknownst to him, while on the trip, I was going to give him my virginity. However, I ended up going alone because out of the blue he just disappeared. I was blowing up his pager (that's how long ago it was) for weeks. I went through periods of worry, sadness, confusion and anger.

Eventually, a family member of his told me that the guy went back to his wife. I knew that he was separated, but only being 19 years old, I didn't really know what it was and equated it with divorce. I also found out that he lied and told everyone (but his wife, I'm sure) that "I" was his "honeymoon period", meaning that we'd been having sex. So in the end, I'm glad that he disappeared when he did and that the "honeymoon period" that he bragged about only ever happened in his imagination. I met my husband 4 months later.

 

[ms-gg]

Yep. More than once. **** happens...

Now with me being new to the dating scene they just go ghost on you....

 

[desertfloweriam]

I just got dumped an hour ago. I'm so happy. A part of me wants him back just for the fact to say I have someone. In reality, we were not communicating well, arguing about everything, even sex. He wanted me to change my life to satisfy him. He scared me into continuing the relationship, being sadistic. I was over it already. To be honest, I was afraid I wouldn't get my money back since he lives out of state. I realize now he tried breaking up before but I just wouldn't listen.

 

[JustifiablyMe]

Yes and that one particular time taught me a valuable lesson: not to entertain someone out of boredom. I really wasn't feeling this guy at all (way too EMO) but I was bored so I said what the heck. I still remember the day he sent me an email saying "This isn't going to work out. It's not you; it's me!"

I made the cardinal sin by responding with an angry email, telling him I wasn't feeling him anyway. But it was the truth.

 

[BonBon]

Not in a relationship.

I did have one guy end dating after the date from hell I don't blame him though really.

I haven't come across these passive men personally although I have friends that have been through that. Its quite important for me to know a man can handle business and be honest.

I know my SO has dumped women but sat them down and explained. I don't think I'd be attracted to him if I knew he was the ghost type or being too cowardly to do it himself.

 

[Kindheart]

Not in a relationship .

I had a disappearing act and a slow fade after a couple of dates .
It was a bit disappointing as i liked one of the guys . He told me He really liked me and poof,disappeared . You gotta laugh at it. Lol