Have you ever approached a guy? What happened?

[*SkolarStar*]

This thread had me thinking so I guess this would be a spinny.

The first and last time that I told a guy that I liked him was in the 7th grade. (I still can't believe I let my cousin talk me into that foolishness. ) Well, she was telling me to just do it and so as we were walking home from the bus stop, she slowed her walk so we could walk ahead and that's when I told him. He said, "so how about this weather?"

I crack up about it now because I knew from a very early age that initiating things with is opposite sex is not the best decision. My gut told me not to do it and I did anyway. From then on I never did it again. Since he lived next door to me, we were friends and I still beat him in cans. POW!

Approached a guy or told him how you felt? How was that?

 

[kismettt]

yeah. my only long-term relationship started with me asking him to dinner in the dining hall + to study afterwards. clearly i wasn't going to keep asking him to hangout if he acted like he was in pain/didn't act like he wanted to get together again (or straight up asked me to get together again).

realistically, i think people shouldn't do a blind approach. go up to a random and ask them out. usually the answer is no. but getting to know someone/talking to them, that will reveal pretty quickly if either of you are feeling each other. i don't believe that women should never approach. or men can only do it, and if you don't he won't want you or w/e.

eta: i asked for his number first, too.

 

[Renewed1]

I've done it twice in my life. One was with an Ex-bf, he responded and we became a couple. But I ended up ALWAYS being the "man" in the relationship; which is why we are no longer together.

A second time was a co-worker, I told him that I liked him and wanted to go on a date with him. Needless to say, the whole office knew but the end of the day (which is fine, it was a small office). He had a gf anyways. My boss asked me how I could approach a guy like that without fear of rejection. My mind was that I'm upfront, if I like you and want you I didn't have a problem telling a man.

But I'm older and wiser now. I learned there are other ways to "approach" a man.

 

[prettybyrd]

I've done it twice in my life. One was with an Ex-bf, he responded and we became a couple. But I ended up ALWAYS being the "man" in the relationship; which is why we are no longer together.

Okay - this makes me think...I did this and that's exactly why my last relationship ended. I wonder if there's a connection. erplexed

I've told several guys that I liked them, had crushes on them, thought they were attractive, wanted to marry them....in my 20's I was kinda...mmm...bold.

I only had one guy turn me down cold, but he did it in such a sweet way, that I just ended up liking him even more. (I am strange! Why am I admitting this to people! ) The other guys and I just became friends. They liked that I was open enough to say those things to them without us being weird afterward. I still love those guys to this day! They are great friends!

 

[manter26]

I usually tell people how I feel because what's the worst that can happen. Sometimes they bite, sometimes they don't. I talked to a really hot guy at a bar once and he gave me his number and invited me and my bff to his house for a bbq. He told us to bring our own food and beer and that was a wrap. He was also bragging on fb about girls approaching him in the club so I deleted his number and he stayed asking what happened to our plans, etc...

I've dated guys that I've pursued and the relationships didn't work out for different reasons. I think I look for shallow qualities in men and end up not satisfied in the end.

I actually have a similar experience to marriagematerial. I liked a coworker (I transferred offices shortly afterward). Everyone knew about my crush. Our other friends told me he was single and go for it. But this boy told me time and time again that he had a gf. I said "no you don't" but he kept up the charade. Anyway, he wasn't having it. The most we did was sleep on the same couch one night. *le sigh* That boy is still fine. We said in the office that he has the body of a greek god (hopefully not in all areas).

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Kinda, sorta lol. The guy who worked at the store where I purchased my computer was cute and seemed interested in me but didn't ask for my # or anything, but he seemed flustered lol. Well, he gave me his card and I emailed him my # . I was kind of trying to get a deal on a computer . He definitely was interested and called me but he was also married :/ and of course nothing ever came of it. Oh well lol. I still speak to him occasionally on messenger. Still had not told me directly that he's married interestingly enough.

 

[SurferBabe]

Approach is a little different from pursue in my book. Approaching a guy could just consist of being the first to talk to him. For example, commenting on the game, weather, etc... Pursuing is a whole different story and I did that A LOT back in the day. It never really leads to anything. Men aren't wired to be pursued.

I'd love to be able to approach men without a stigma being attached. Sometimes I feel so powerless as a woman because I'm expected to sit back and wait, wait, wait on the guy I'm feeling to take notice and talk to me. You risk rejection when you approach, but at least you have the power of choice and you can be proactive in getting what you want. Sigh...

 

[Flawless_JYM]

^^ I agree talking to guys is "unacceptable" but in everything else who would wait to get what they want.

 

[Renewed1]

prettybyrd probably so!!

I have known women who had made the initial contact and they were ALWAYS chasing after their bf. Waiting for them to "man up."

I think that is why it's important to allow the man to chase you. It gives the man the ability to feel like a man.

Okay - this makes me think...I did this and that's exactly why my last relationship ended. I wonder if there's a connection. erplexed

I've told several guys that I liked them, had crushes on them, thought they were attractive, wanted to marry them....in my 20's I was kinda...mmm...bold.

I only had one guy turn me down cold, but he did it in such a sweet way, that I just ended up liking him even more. (I am strange! Why am I admitting this to people! ) The other guys and I just became friends. They liked that I was open enough to say those things to them without us being weird afterward. I still love those guys to this day! They are great friends!

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

^^Yes, a couple of years prior.
I remember at the store he printed out like 3 copies of my info containing my address, maybe accident, maybe not lolol. It was just obvious that he liked me so I went with it and emailed him my #. He would call me but never mention anything about being married, I saw it on his myspace. I never went out with him at all, he would leave me voicemails every so often wanting to hang out but I couldn't bring myself to even though I did like him and want a computer . Even before knowing about the wife and kids I just didn't feel right going out with him. He seems to be really sweet and smart but obviously dishonest lol. I think I was just providing a temptation for him since he didn't actually ask for my # he would feel less guilty about cheating since perhaps in his mind I came on to him. I did take him giving me his card as an invitation or I'd never have contacted him though.

I spoke to him recently on aim and he STILL doesn't mention being married. None of my business anyway, I'm married too so there's no chance of anything happening and I guess there never was.

 

[prettybyrd]

prettybyrd probably so!!

I have known women who had made the initial contact and they were ALWAYS chasing after their bf. Waiting for them to "man up."

I think that is why it's important to allow the man to chase you. It gives the man the ability to feel like a man.

MarriageMaterial, well, I learned my lesson! That was the worse relationship of my life!

 

[Renewed1]

^^^Yeah my last one was THE WORST!! LOL!!!

Thank God WE won't repeat those mistakes again.

 

[Giselle685]

lol good thread