Hair emergency! Nieces two strand twists are legit locks. Guardian neglected her.

[curlytwirly06]

Okay so my aunt is in the hospital after recently being diagnosed with lupus. She had to move to a different state for care. For a while her daughter , my niece, was living with me and during that time I cared for her hair perfectly. My aunt and her husband are going through another tough round of health issues and my aunt is needing round the clock care and assistance. This time instead of leaving her with me they sent her to live with the husbands mother. He is biracial and his mother is white and his father is black. His father passed away a while ago.

Well for the last 6 months she has been living with her grandmother. Right before they left I did her hair in two strand twists and instructed her and her grandmother of her basic hair care ritual. We talked about it for weeks before they left. Well I am just now seeing her after having lived with her grandmother for 6 months and If my parents had not raised me to be non violent and respect my elders I swear I could pop that old woman in her mouth.

This child's hair is in one big matted LOCKED mess. They never took the twist down like I instructed her. She never followed any of the things I told her to do for my niece. Basically the twist are now locks and the whole thing is one ugly, matted, interlocked, dry, dirty, breaking mess. The mini twists I did are now locks. She had my niece going out looking like Bob the psycho from the simpsons. I have no idea what this woman was thinking. My niece said her grandmother just used to wet her hair in the shower and tie it back or put it in "pretty" scarves. The whole thing is literally chunks of locked hair that started off as mini twists. I really dont even know what this woman was thinking. And she had to notice that it was bad because she stopped letting her wear her hair without a scarf or cover over it.

Does anyone have any idea where I can start or any tools I can use? She has (had?) 4xyz hair and it is (was) very dense and thick. It was down her back when I last saw her. I am so distraught. I have to take her to visit her mom in the hospital and I dont want her to see her babies head bald or practically bald. It so locked I have no idea if I can even get it down. She is 7 by the way.

 

[PJaye]

Get a few bottles of a thick oil along with several bottles of either Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture Conditioner or Tresemme Naturals Vibrantly Smooth Conditioner. Overly saturate her hair with the oil and methodically loosen the largest knots and dreds - apply more oil as needed. For the smaller knots, cover the hair with an obscene about of conditioner and continue finger detangling. Once the knots have been sufficiently loosened, you can carefully use a comb to complete the detangling process.

Under no circumstances should you wet the child's hair before it has been completely detangled. Good luck!

 

[Guinan]

^^^^I 2nd that. Whenever I get knots I swear by olive oil or coconut oil. In this situation patience is key. Start small and pace yourself.

Do you think you will ask the grandmother why she didn't follow your hair care instructions or at least contact you regarding the child's hair if she was having difficulty?

I hope your Aunt get's better. Prayers for your Aunt and your family.

 

[Daernyris]

curlytwirly06 so sorry that your niece was subjected to this neglect. Did you talk to the grandmother any during the 6 mths she had the child? I guess I'm just curious about why she wouldn't ask for help if she felt overwhelmed by the child's hair

 

[curlytwirly06]

Get a few bottles of a thick oil along with several bottles of either Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture Conditioner or Tresemme Naturals Vibrantly Smooth Conditioner. Overly saturate her hair with the oil and methodically loosen the largest knots and dreds - apply more oil as needed. For the smaller knots, cover the hair with an obscene about of conditioner and continue finger detangling. Once the knots have been sufficiently loosened, you can carefully use a comb to complete the detangling process.

Under no circumstances should you wet the child's hair before it has been completely detangled. Good luck!

Thank you for your comment. Two questions. 1.) There is no way I can finger detangle it from the start. Her hair is not "loose" it is literally chunks of matted hair. I tried pulling fused pieces apart and then trying to do something but that made her cry. I can only fit something the size of a stick pin in the chunks of hair. I have also taken chunks and started trying to detangle and got almost nothing done. it is literally like taking down locks. 2.) What thick oil would you recommend?

 

[curlytwirly06]

curlytwirly06 so sorry that your niece was subjected to this neglect. Did you talk to the grandmother any during the 6 mths she had the child? I guess I'm just curious about why she wouldn't ask for help if she felt overwhelmed by the child's hair

I did speak to her. Each time I asked if everything was being taken , her hair in general, she told me yes as did her grandmother. This woman straight up lied to me. Her dad saw her in person and while he is not as adept with natural hair he should have been able to look at her hair and see that it was a monstrosity.

 

[periwinklepeach]

Castor oil is very thick. That might work. You could try starting at the tip/end of one of the chunks and loosening it. There are loc takedown vids on YouTube that might help. Locs can be taken down so don't lose hope. I wish you luck and hope your aunt's health improves.

 

[Stormy]

OMG! So sorry to hear about this mess. And your poor niece. SMH... before the takedown process, I would let the oils and conditioner sit on her hair overnight. Put a plastic shower cap on it. This way her hair gets really good and saturated.

 

[curlytwirly06]

OMG! So sorry to hear about this mess. And your poor niece. SMH... before the takedown process, I would let the oils and conditioner sit on her hair overnight. Put a plastic shower cap on it. This way her hair gets really good and saturated.

I was thinking about trying to deep condition it before hand seeing as how it is dry as the Sahara and breaking all over the place. I am going to try. Y'all pray for me.

 

[Evolving78]

I have taken down my locs before. You need some oil and conditioner. It took me a few days, but I didn't have any breakage and my hair was in good condition.

 

[curlytwirly06]

I have taken down my locs before. You need some oil and conditioner. It took me a few days, but I didn't have any breakage and my hair was in good condition.

Thank you! Can u detail your process for me? What tools did you use and what technique did you use?

 

[Bun Mistress]

I would try hot six oil and let it sit overnight as everyone has said. Any condition with good sliip can be used for detangling once the dreds are release. You can use a a metal or rat tipped comb to help with the take down.

 

[southerncitygirl]

curlytwirly06

all the given advice is good, getting some scurl spray might possibly help too. condish and oil and tons of it is a must. prepare from having to use 3-5 12-20oz bottles of conditioner and anywhere btw 8-16 oz of oil. It could take days/weeks for the take down cause it takes that long for loc removal unless its done by a professional. A loctician who does take downs could be another option if things get to be too much. Be prepared that she may need a cut still after takedown cause her ends will be raggedy and broken no matter how gentle you are due to severe tangling.

 

[Evolving78]

Thank you! Can u detail your process for me? What tools did you use and what technique did you use?

I used a rattail comb, trade joe nourish spa, and some castor and grape seed oil. I worked very slowly and just combed through little by little. I had to snip the very ends of my hair though before I started. With locs, the ends will start to seal itself off creating a knot of shed hairs. Like i said it took a few days. If I needed to go out, I would put a scarf on, or a hat. Once I was done, I detangled with a wide toothed comb again. I relaxed my hair afterwards. That was 2010.

 

[PJaye]

Thank you for your comment. Two questions. 1.) There is no way I can finger detangle it from the start. Her hair is not "loose" it is literally chunks of matted hair. I tried pulling fused pieces apart and then trying to do something but that made her cry. I can only fit something the size of a stick pin in the chunks of hair. I have also taken chunks and started trying to detangle and got almost nothing done. it is literally like taking down locks. 2.) What thick oil would you recommend?

IMO, a good place to start would be with EVOO, castor and avocado. I also recommend using the oil (and be ridiculously heavy handed) to separate and work through the strands with your fingers. The oil will go a long way in helping to loosen those knots and dreads. And, get that baby some snacks and treats because she deserves some.

 

[krissyhair]

Hair abuse is real. My step mother did this to me when I was in her care. My sister had to comb the locks out.

Sorry op for the family difficulties. But I'm sure you and your little nice will be able to save her hair and it will be thick and healthy again in no time.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

I agree with shortdub78. Remember, people have dangled full grown locks. Don't try to get it all in one session if you can't. Take it a day at a time. The child's hair has been tangled this long so take your time. A few extra days won't hurt.

And consult with a GOOD natural hair salon if needed. The stylists at my current salon have a detangling service. All they do is natural hair. They are excellent at removing tangles with minimal discomfort.

 

[yakuria]

This sorta happened to me when I tried to do "loose twists" and left them in for 3 months Castor Oil and Aloe Vera Juice/Water 50/50 in a spray bottle. Load it up in the hair and slowly pull up (Important to pull vertically from a knot and not horizontally as it will only tighten) on individual stands within a knot until you get down to the last few hairs, if you can safely pull those out good, if not cut it. So basically a SUPER intensive finger detangling. And I mean LOTS of castor oil and "damp" hair with the spritz(Aloe Vera/Water mixture). You don't want it sopping wet as the hair is weak then. Process took me three days. You can also baggy the hair with oil and add more on top to help.

Best of luck to you and I'm sorry about your situation! And really anything you do at this point would be better then what she has now!

 

[Urban]

Will she be going back to live with the grandmother? I ask because you may fix all this, only for it to happen again. I don't know if it's worth the pain for a baby to comb out such matted hair. It might be a better to just cut off the matting and put the hair in braids, that way if she is going back to the grandmother it's easier for her. It's probably less intimidating to the grandmother to be instructed to take the child to a salon for rebraiding (or you could even hire a braider local to them to go and do the braiding).

Perhaps get dad to come to the house and take a look and confirm it's ok to cut. I'd also suggest you take lots of photos/videos of the matting.

I'm guessing you'd probably prefer to undo the matting. I guess I'm just thinking if it's worth the pain and whether you'll be having to do this in another 6 months.

 

[ilong]

@curlytwirly06 - my prayers to your family.

Everyone has given you excellent advice on your cousins/nieces hair. (your post said niece but you say it's your aunt's daughter). You may want to consider getting help with detangling her hair. I feel so sorry for the little one having to deal with sick parents, uprooted from her home, new school, friends, and now her hair (which kids probably teased her about). Poor baby.

Also, regarding the grandmother - there is no doubt she should have sought help with her granddaughter's hair. But keep in mind also, 1.) the grandmother is older who 2.) found herself suddenly the guardian and caregiver for a little girl, and 3.) had to adjust her lifestyle [to care for the granddaughter] 4.) probably incurred additional financial responsiblity (which she may not have been able to afford) 5.) from the hair description, the granddaughter is visibly black [which could be an issue even though grandmother had been married to a black man] and 6.) granddaughter has kinky/curly hair, which the grandmother didn't have a clue on how to care for.

If the grandmother works and suddenly was responsible for getting a 7 year old up, dressed, to and from school, child care costs, preparing meals, homework, activities, etc it could have been quite daunting. And trying to learn how to deal with the granddaughter's hair at an older age was asking for a miracle. I would guess that the grandmother was not able to call on her family for assistance. Also, we don't know the grandmother's health status - it may have not have been 100%.

Believe me I am not excusing the grandmother's negligence but most situations are not black and white ( no pun intended).

 

[Subscribe]

My twists will turn into locks after 2 weeks. The oil and conditioner advice already given in this thread is what is required to detangle her hair.

Good luck!

 

[SoleilChica]

Cowboy Magic Detangler

 

[MizzKutieQ]

If you need something thinner than a rat tail comb try a safety pin to break through, it worked on my hair on the tiny twisted parts when I had braids.

 

[SunRai Naturals]

My cousin took her locs down after 10 years with a dental pic or a rat tail comb & Vo5 moisture milks conditioner. Her locs were waist to hip bone length & after getting it straightened & cut her hair was mid back length. She looked at Youtube videos of people taking their locs down for tips & instruction.

I would also recommend that for two weeks before the takedown you do deep conditioning and oil saturation treatments with heat (baggying, bonnet dryer, or steaming). Her hair is likely dry & that should help moisturize & strengthen it before taking the locs down. Even though her hair was neglected hopefully the water from rinsing it in the shower kept it from getting too dry.

 

[RUBY]

If you need something thinner than a rat tail comb try a safety pin to break through, it worked on my hair on the tiny twisted parts when I had braids.

I second the needle idea if you need it, that's what I use for my hair to get out really bad tangles and knots.

 

[curlytwirly06]

Thank you so very much to everyone who answered! I am in stage one of taking down her locks and right now I am focusing in moisture so I don't break her hair off. It is so weak and dry that just running my hands on top of the matted parts leave a handful of little pieces and build up. She is extremely tender headed. So for about four days I have her bagging 24/7 rinse and repeat. Your information is so helpful! Thank you all so much !

 

[islanchile]

http://www.amazon.com/Aunt-Jackies-knot-watch-12oz/dp/B008R40C22


Aunt Jackie's Knot on my Watch is the most unbelievably effective detangler I have ever used. I have course, 4a/4b mix hair and it melts away tangles. And it leaves the hair soft and moisturized. After you finish bagging her hair, I urge you to try this product. Good luck!

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

I took out my daughter's (intentional) locs a year and a half ago. It took 3 weeks, a few bottles of Trader Joes Nourish Spa, a spray bottle, a large safety pin and the patience of a saint.

 

[Cendra]

OP,

I hope your aunt's health is restored and she's able to return to her family soon.

I responded earlier without seeing your progress post - good move with bagging her hair as 4 type hair tends to need more moisture than protein anyway. I hope it makes things easier!