***Can a mod please move to relationship forum. I totally didn't realize I post this here*
So, I'm in the process of getting to know this guy right now and we're really clicking. I mean, I spent almost all day yesterday on IM with him and I couldn't not stop laughing. He told me that I'm the most interesting female he's met in a long time and that he likes my realness (I've been very blunt with him about certain things, ie. my preference for guys with no kids-he has 2).
Now we were supposed to go out last Friday, but he cancelled (he had an opportunity to make some extra cash by fixing somebody's computer). We were supposed to have lunch the next day. I spoke to him on the phone Friday night briefly and he was supposed to call me back. He never did. I didn't hear from him again until yesterday. He was supposed to call me last night. He never did.
Now, I'm the type of person who always tries to do what I say I'm gonna do, even if it's something minor like a phone call. And it irritates the hell outta me when people don't give me that consideration in return.
Part of me feels like "okay, maybe I'm overreacting". But part of me is like "is this the sign of someone who is gonna constantly disappoint me"? Because I really was disappointed when we didn't hook up Friday night.
Honestly, I've never really dated before, so I just feel like I don't know how to react to certain things. Like I wanna say something sarcastic about him not calling but I'm like maybe I should act like I don't really care so he doesn't think he's got it like that.
*sigh*
I hate being on the market again.
My nature is to give people chances. Part of my education in life for the last few years is that, I shouldn't. He says things I don't like? Don't date him. I tell him when he does something annoying and he continues to do it - don't date him. So many little things, but I always gave the benefit of the doubt.
I gave the benefit of the doubt to my long time ex - he stiffed me for 2 grand and now has a new child w/someone else.
The next boyfriend, I gave him the benefit of the doubt - he was lying about being divorced.
This last guy, I gave the benefit of the doubt about his weight. He is kind and wants to make me happy, I thought. But all along little signs kept popping up, and I kept giving him "the benefit of the doubt" and now we are not speaking, mainly because he is very insecure (there are other things, too).
My next door neighbor, a year or so ago, began flirting with me and trying to spend time with me. Never asked me on a date proper, so I ignored him. He told me he would take me out on my birthday. I thought that was sweet. he never did.
This year, the same neighbor poured his little soul out in a confession about how much he cared about me and wanted to date me. *insert
awwwwww here*. I told him he never asked to even take me out before, and he asked. He said he would like to plan my birthday for me, and even confirmed 5 days before my birthday!! This is after I pointed out what he did last year.
I'm sure you can see what's coming next; I didn't even get a phone call wishing me happy birthday. He bet not SPEAK to me again.
One guy I met at a movie theater, gave me his number and told me he would be sure to call me the next morning, so we could go out for breakfast. I didn't get the call. This time I didn't give the benefit of the doubt. I decided he must be attatched because it was odd that a man be out at that time or night to a movie by himself, and to be soooo interested in me and so serious, he should have called. I thought he was married. Sure enough, when he called sheepishly a week later, he admitted he was. That was nice of him.
So, these are my experiences with giving the benefit of the doubt. I try not to do it anymore. It must start off damn near perfect from the jump, any warning signs or hesitation in my hind brain and i'm
out.
