Getting with men who have been to jail?

[ThatJerseyGirl]

ThatJerseyGirl

Lawd Ham mercy girl. You opened my eyes up big time. I knew there were things going on behind bars but you just put it in perspective. Isn't it true that the reason HIV is so high among black women is because so many black men are getting infected in prison. I think I read or heard that. Just sad!

Ask a Correctional Officer. I would NEVER date a man who was in prison, even if DANA (my way of saying DNA) cleared him, and he was set free. the bottom line is that he had to survive behind those walls and ain't no tellin how he had to do it. Ever wonder how they get their hair cornrowed?

He has told me SO MUCH to the point it's unreal. Do you know what an inmate would have to do just for a cigarette -- don't even think about for a whole pack. yes, cigs are a hot commodoty in da pen.

I ain't doin no bid, writin no lettas, acceptin collect calls, none of that. and I damn sho ain't gettin on no van doin visits. imagine dat. me on a van with a bunch of otha women eattin fried chiggun n deviled eggs, dressed in our sunday best lookin casket sharp tryna impress these men livin behind da walls. chile puleez.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

After that one call, I never accepted any calls from him or responded to a letters. Sorry, dude, I'm not that chick. It was creepy to get letters from prison.

believe it or not, half of those men are illiterate, so usually, it's another prisoner writing those letters. the inmate who writes the letters gets paid to do so.

 

[locabouthair]

Ask a Correctional Officer. I would NEVER date a man who was in prison, even if DANA (my way of saying DNA) cleared him, and he was set free. the bottom line is that he had to survive behind those walls and ain't no tellin how he had to do it. Ever wonder how they get their hair cornrowed?

He has told me SO MUCH to the point it's unreal. Do you know what an inmate would have to do just for a cigarette -- don't even think about for a whole pack. yes, cigs are a hot commodoty in da pen.

I ain't doin no bid, writin no lettas, acceptin collect calls, none of that. and I damn sho ain't gettin on no van doin visits. imagine dat. me on a van with a bunch of otha women eattin fried chiggun n deviled eggs, dressed in our sunday best lookin casket sharp tryna impress these men livin behind da walls. chile puleez.

I knew a woman that would make regular visits to see her DH in prison. The van got into an accident and she died

 

[Almaz]

Please try being a Nurse in one of those facilities I have seen more busted a holes being patched up than not.

And on the skreet these guys are all hard and itsh PLEASUUUUUSSSEEE No way in hell. These guys do all kinds of things to survive and then kiss their wives and girlfriends when visiting time comes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fOGgMySiWQ


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9WClv4U5B8&feature=related

 

[ThickHair]

I might sound ignorant saying this, but I heard prison dick is the best dick you'll ever have. Anyone heard this or is willing to testify?

Wouldnt you want to know how he got so good? He been in prision after all. Mmmmk I figure the man is just horny for some vajayjay.

I have never done prison dick before and I would much prefer my BOB.

 

[Almaz]

I have heard this from women that have men that have been to jail and done some stints there but ummm NO thanks KNOWING that this man got good by practising on other men ummm no thanks.


I mean when they get out how does one just go back to being straight with a woman again I am sure the urges to be with men come back

I might sound ignorant saying this, but I heard prison dick is the best dick you'll ever have. Anyone heard this or is willing to testify?

 

[mieshashair]

Hey ladies I understand y'all opinion on this but I was a parole officer for 5 years as well as work as a CO I know that there are alot of men that turn out tobe gay from doing bids but do believe there are alot of them that do their straight n cone out straight. Not all of them turn gay or even desire another man. Some do get out and really make positive changes on their lives as well as some get out and literally turn out to be trash. You have to judge each one individually.

 

[Almaz]

Yeah that is true and I agree with that but it is real hard to discern when you know some of the hardest guys on the street were doing the hard core do in jail. I understand that people can be straight and do make positive changes but if I were single I would not be taking that chance

Hey ladies I understand y'all opinion on this but I was a parole officer for 5 years as well as work as a CO I know that there are alot of men that turn out tobe gay from doing bids but do believe there are alot of them that do their straight n cone out straight. Not all of them turn gay or even desire another man. Some do get out and really make positive changes on their lives as well as some get out and literally turn out to be trash. You have to judge each one individually.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

I knew a woman that would make regular visits to see her DH in prison. The van got into an accident and she died

Well, dang. I didn't see that last sentence coming at all.

 

[ChasingBliss]

nawww. i've said it before and i'll say it again. only two things goin on in da pen. eitha ur phuckin or gettin phucked. das it n das all. any man who tells u different is lyin.

a friend of mines is a CO at Rahway State. he STILL tells me stories about how he hear men getting raped, or voluntarily doing whateva to make their bid easier and then when visitation day comes, those same said men are kissin their women in the mouth. it's sad.

don't forget there are men in the pen called Lifers, so what do they have to lose? imagine that....

a lot goes on behind those walls besides writin lettas, placin collect calls to loved ones and visits. it's all about survival.

i told him he should write a book lolololol...

Yep, getting their salad tossed and errthang.

 

[Glib Gurl]

I remember going out with a guy on a handful of dates, most were on group stuff with other friends. Then he fell off the face of the earth. So I moved on. One day, I get a collect call from a correctional facility. I did not accept the call. A few days later, his sister calls me with him on a three-way call.

He was like, "Hey, it's me, [Jailbird]. I'm sorry I haven't called...I've been sentenced for a few years in prison. You've been on my mind...you're this and that...send me photo...wait for me" He was macking on the phone. I was polite and talked to him for a few minutes, thinking to myself "Why'd you waste your phone call on me?"

The phone calls kept coming and so did a few letters. Eventually, he got the hint. I'm sure another type of girl would have been so flattered but I saw him as a bored dude in jail and creepy.

I'm sorry, I know the situation wasn't funny but I couldn't help but ROFL at the bold!

@Glib Gul: What exactly did Apollo do in terms of white collar crime?

I recall hearing that it involved vehicle theft . . . according to the internets, he was convicted of racketeering and knowing receipt of stolen goods . . .

 

[anon123]

I might sound ignorant saying this, but I heard prison dick is the best dick you'll ever have. Anyone heard this or is willing to testify?

Girl . . . what?! What does this even mean? Does it mean men who get out of prison will put it down? Or visitation penis? Or what?

 

[lesedi]

There are so many non-jailbird men out there. I am not even willing to entertain the notion.

 

[gabulldawg]

I couldn't do it. I hope DH never goes to jail because I truly don't know what I would do after hearing some of the stories. erplexed I'd probably be paranoid than a mugg.

 

[lesedi]

^^^^^
Unless he goes to jail after shooting someone who was going to rape/kill me or my (future) children.....I would be single the moment the judge read out the sentence. I do have conditional love.

 

[justicefighter1913]

Brighteyes, you're referring to prison, not jail, right? There is a huge difference between the two.

If you mean prison, my answer is the same as post #2.

If you mean jail, (like an hour in a holding cell for staging a nonviolent protest against police brutality or some other honorable cause), that would be a solid maybe.

At the bolded, that's a huge misconception. A lot of the same ish goes on in jail...believe me. I visit several clients in jail on a daily basis and it is brutal...the holding is more than a mere few hours. Men and women are/can be held there until their sentencing dates which can take months. Same thing, different name.

 

[skyslady]

I was seeing a guy who did something stupid and got locked up. I visited him 1 time and realize that thats not me, I took his few things to his mama's house and left the state.

Nope not me either ladies!

 

[NYAmicas]

Naw, I'm good.

 

[itsjusthair88]

I hate to sound insensitive (although some of you guys already said it) but the thought of him experiencing or engaging in Male/Male sex...I can't take it

It's sad because a lot of them are unwilling partners and the HIV rate is out of control!!! But, of course, the system could give a crap less, just like @ThatJerseyGirl mentioned, her friend has "heard" men being raped...and I bet he did nothing about it...that's f**ked up...but I understand, he's not paid to care, just guard

Also, the nature of his crime matters a lot there are alot of violent defenders and repeat defenders and lots of other stuff...and THAT'S why I can't date a man who's been to prison

 

[rafikichick92]

Umm no. My ex was as shady as I'll allow a guy to get, I have decided. No thank you. I don't want to have questions about what you are capable of or what you have gone through. I have a sensitive constitution. Also, I wouldn't like that he wouldn't be eligible for many jobs.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

funny i should run across this thread. about two years ago this sweet woman in her early 30s started attending my church and she struck me as such a kind hearted young woman, really humble and kind. i come to find out she's a bio-physicist and was working at an Ivy league school, though you would never know it by talking to her 'cause she wouldn't rattle off her credentials (i only knew about her background by looking her up on the innanets ). anyway, i just found out that the man she married a few months ago was incarcerated for about 15 years for a pretty serious crime (murder was involved). he shared his testimony publicly. i just kept thinking: could i do what she did? she had a PhD and worked at prestigious places and didn't see herself "above" someone who had a really difficult past. i can't say that i could do what she did.

 

[Zuleika]

I might sound ignorant saying this, but I heard prison dick is the best dick you'll ever have. Anyone heard this or is willing to testify?

 

[ThickHair]

^^^^ I love Stewie (Stewart Gilligan Griffin).

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Although I do not believe that all men who have served time in prison are homosexuals, I would not recommend anyone date a man who has been incarcerated for more than a few hours for something like a non-violent protest. Based on some of the comments in this thread, I would especially be leery of a convict who is a smoker since cigarettes are such a hot commodity in prison.

The majority of the men that get out of prison seem to get girlfriends right away so clearly convicts have no problem getting dates.

 

[mischka]

I will say I can let a couple hours/days on a traffic charge slide.

 

[Zuleika]

Thought this gif would be appropriate for this thread

 

[Kerryann]

HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL NNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH not a chance in the world would i be the chick to give a jail bird a chance are u kidding me all the thoughts of a doodoo tool inside of me oh god lord take me now

and i know everyone have their preference but i give any guy the side eye that wants anal sex

 

[Guitarhero]

I'm meeting quite a few sistas who are okay with this. How do you feel about this one? While I have dated a guy who had been to jail, I decided it wasn't for me.

Nope, not at all. I didn't have friends who went to jail. My parents never went to jail, nor did my uncles. It wasn't ok with our family. Now, I feel sorry for anyone who has gone to jail. I wish them well and I hope they are on the good road but I don't ever want to associate myself with such a man. Call me elitist, but that's not good enough for me. Neither would somebody who should be going to jail and will in due time (white collar present-day criminals).

 

[StarScream35]

funny i should run across this thread. about two years ago this sweet woman in her early 30s started attending my church and she struck me as such a kind hearted young woman, really humble and kind. i come to find out she's a bio-physicist and was working at an Ivy league school, though you would never know it by talking to her 'cause she wouldn't rattle off her credentials (i only knew about her background by looking her up on the innanets ). anyway, i just found out that the man she married a few months ago was incarcerated for about 15 years for a pretty serious crime (murder was involved). he shared his testimony publicly. i just kept thinking: could i do what she did? she had a PhD and worked at prestigious places and didn't see herself "above" someone who had a really difficult past. i can't say that i could do what she did.

@LovelyNaps26

This is why I started this thread beause of stories like the one you told. I'm hearing more and more of them and I certainly do hear the women saying they would NEVER be with a man that has gone to prison but I just wonder if its really true. I know times are hard for many black women when it comes time to finding a man and with the number of brothas going to prison, you are bound to meet quite a few in your lifetime with prison records. One woman I recently met has a 6 figure income job and has a Masters and was dating a guy who spent about 10 years in prison. She talked about how he treated her, cooked her dinner, gave her back rubs etc............now you know I'm rolling my eyes thinking, shoot, he was just trying to mack and you fell for it. LOL! So many of these guys are smooth talkers and know how to do and say all the right stuff that I'm not suprised that women do fall for it.

 

[anon123]

@LovelyNaps26

This is why I started this thread beause of stories like the one you told. I'm hearing more and more of them and I cetainly do hear the women saying they would NEVER be with a man that has gone to prison but I just wonder if its really true. I know times are hard for many black women when it comes time to find a man and with the number of brothas going to prison, you are bound to meet quite a few in your lifetime with prison records. One woman I recently met has a 6 figure income job and has a Masters and was dating a guy who spent about 10 years in prison. She talked about how he treated her, cooked her dinner, gave her back rubs etc............now you know I'm rolling my eyes thinking, shoot, he was just trying to mack and you fell for it. LOL! So many of these guys are smooth talkers and know how to do and say all the right stuff that I'm not suprised that women do fall for it.

I hear people saying this happens a lot, too, but is it true? I don't know if I'm blind because I refuse to believe it, but it feels like reports of this kind of thing happening are greatly exaggerated. Anyone else have thoughts on this?