StarScream35
Well-Known Member
I'm meeting quite a few sistas who are okay with this. How do you feel about this one? While I have dated a guy who had been to jail, I decided it wasn't for me.
Getting with men who have been to jail?
- Thread starter StarScream35
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Windsy
New Member
ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
Been to jail? nah.
Now maybe if they ran afoul of the law as a midguided youth and had long proved that they had moved on past that, maybe. But I've have to see what restrictions that placed on their lives if any (does it prohibit him from finding work, is his earning potential diminshed b/c of it, etc, etc)
Now maybe if they ran afoul of the law as a midguided youth and had long proved that they had moved on past that, maybe. But I've have to see what restrictions that placed on their lives if any (does it prohibit him from finding work, is his earning potential diminshed b/c of it, etc, etc)
LilMissRed
Well-Known Member
no ma'am 
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NaturalRed
Well-Known Member
Well I think it depends on what he's been to jail for. Anything drug or violence related is out.
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
I could never do it. What if he can't even travel out of the country? That would be a problem because I want to travel. I know there are some women that would be ok with it but couldn't be me.
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
What if it was for a white collar crime?
Apollo's handsome but I still couldn't do it. I would always be wondering if he was coloring with the other men.
justicefighter1913
New Member
londontresses
Well-Known Member
White collar crime?? You mean a crime that typically involves lying, manipulating and deceiving someone who trusted you?? I'll pass on that too.
jamaica68
Well-Known Member
That's exactly why I won't.
Oh, there was a time about 2 years ago that is all I was meeting were dudes who had not been in jail (county vacation), these dudes had been on extended "state" vacations. All of them were very truthful when they met me, which I appreciated, but I was like, do I have that state pen smell or something. They hollered, told me their story and I politely declined.
I met one murder who had did 15 years, he said it was self defense, very sweet, respectful guy, but when he told me a "situation" had arose and he had to do what he had to do. I was like whoa, is there an anger issue here. Ladies he did this when he was 20, so he spent an important part of his life locked up.
Why is it that ALL these dudes were FINE? Just not fair.
I met one murder who had did 15 years, he said it was self defense, very sweet, respectful guy, but when he told me a "situation" had arose and he had to do what he had to do. I was like whoa, is there an anger issue here. Ladies he did this when he was 20, so he spent an important part of his life locked up.
Why is it that ALL these dudes were FINE? Just not fair.
StarScream35
Well-Known Member
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
nawww. i've said it before and i'll say it again. only two things goin on in da pen. eitha ur phuckin or gettin phucked. das it n das all. any man who tells u different is lyin.
a friend of mines is a CO at Rahway State. he STILL tells me stories about how he hear men getting raped, or voluntarily doing whateva to make their bid easier and then when visitation day comes, those same said men are kissin their women in the mouth. it's sad.
don't forget there are men in the pen called Lifers, so what do they have to lose? imagine that....
a lot goes on behind those walls besides writin lettas, placin collect calls to loved ones and visits. it's all about survival.
i told him he should write a book lolololol...
a friend of mines is a CO at Rahway State. he STILL tells me stories about how he hear men getting raped, or voluntarily doing whateva to make their bid easier and then when visitation day comes, those same said men are kissin their women in the mouth. it's sad.
don't forget there are men in the pen called Lifers, so what do they have to lose? imagine that....
a lot goes on behind those walls besides writin lettas, placin collect calls to loved ones and visits. it's all about survival.
i told him he should write a book lolololol...
StarScream35
Well-Known Member
ThatJerseyGirl
Lawd Ham mercy girl. You opened my eyes up big time. I knew there were things going on behind bars but you just put it in perspective. Isn't it true that the reason HIV is so high among black women is because so many black men are getting infected in prison. I think I read or heard that. Just sad!
Lawd Ham mercy girl. You opened my eyes up big time. I knew there were things going on behind bars but you just put it in perspective. Isn't it true that the reason HIV is so high among black women is because so many black men are getting infected in prison. I think I read or heard that. Just sad!
vtoodler
New Member
I guess it also depends on what they went to jail for.
But like Brighteyes35 said, I would be more worried about their HIV status. In 2006, 60 Minutes did a documentary that revealed that a lot of black men contract HIV in prison. That's because men either have sex there or are raped. Since condoms are illegal in jail, the virus is usually passed on. Many of them don't even know they have it. When they leave jail and get girlfriends, they pass it on to black women.
But like Brighteyes35 said, I would be more worried about their HIV status. In 2006, 60 Minutes did a documentary that revealed that a lot of black men contract HIV in prison. That's because men either have sex there or are raped. Since condoms are illegal in jail, the virus is usually passed on. Many of them don't even know they have it. When they leave jail and get girlfriends, they pass it on to black women.
Pat Mahurr
Pun intended
Brighteyes, you're referring to prison, not jail, right? There is a huge difference between the two.
If you mean prison, my answer is the same as post #2.
If you mean jail, (like an hour in a holding cell for staging a nonviolent protest against police brutality or some other honorable cause), that would be a solid maybe.
If you mean prison, my answer is the same as post #2.
If you mean jail, (like an hour in a holding cell for staging a nonviolent protest against police brutality or some other honorable cause), that would be a solid maybe.
MariposaSexyGirl
Well-Known Member
Ew nope. Never have and never understood the people that do.
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StarScream35
Well-Known Member
Brighteyes, you're referring to prison, not jail, right? There is a huge difference between the two.
If you mean prison, my answer is the same as post #2.
If you mean jail, (like an hour in a holding cell for staging a nonviolent protest against police brutality or some other honorable cause), that would be a solid maybe.
Definitely meant prison.
Lady Esquire
New Member
I remember going out with a guy on a handful of dates, most were on group stuff with other friends. Then he fell off the face of the earth. So I moved on. One day, I get a collect call from a correctional facility. I did not accept the call. A few days later, his sister calls me with him on a three-way call.
He was like, "Hey, it's me, [Jailbird]. I'm sorry I haven't called...I've been sentenced for a few years in prison. You've been on my mind...you're this and that...send me photo...wait for me" He was macking on the phone. I was polite and talked to him for a few minutes, thinking to myself "Why'd you waste your phone call on me?"
The phone calls kept coming and so did a few letters. Eventually, he got the hint. I'm sure another type of girl would have been so flattered but I saw him as a bored dude in jail and creepy.
He was like, "Hey, it's me, [Jailbird]. I'm sorry I haven't called...I've been sentenced for a few years in prison. You've been on my mind...you're this and that...send me photo...wait for me" He was macking on the phone. I was polite and talked to him for a few minutes, thinking to myself "Why'd you waste your phone call on me?"
The phone calls kept coming and so did a few letters. Eventually, he got the hint. I'm sure another type of girl would have been so flattered but I saw him as a bored dude in jail and creepy.
FlyyBohemian
Well-Known Member
What if it was for a white collar crime?
I was about to ask that and he came to my mind! Lol!
FlyyBohemian
Well-Known Member
I might sound ignorant saying this, but I heard prison dick is the best dick you'll ever have. Anyone heard this or is willing to testify?
StarScream35
Well-Known Member
Jailbirds are VERY good at macking. They know how to smooth talk their way in and do this and that and say all the right stuff. This is how sistas get drawn in. You have to watch out for them.
~~HoneyComb~~
Well-Known Member
There is no way in the world that I would have gone down that road.
It's really kinda crazy to see that there are women that have no problem with this, because I've yet to see a man be as committed to a woman behind bars. If it happens, it's like 1 in a million.
It's really kinda crazy to see that there are women that have no problem with this, because I've yet to see a man be as committed to a woman behind bars. If it happens, it's like 1 in a million.
Lady Esquire
New Member
After that one call, I never accepted any calls from him or responded to any letters. Sorry, dude, I'm not that chick. It was creepy to get letters from prison.
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