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Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natural!!!
- Thread starter Poohbear
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Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
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pookeylou said:
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Poohbear said:
Pookeylou...where r u from?
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I am in Cincy, Ohio! Where are you?
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Hey! We're near by each other! I live in Louisville, KY! I will be in Cincy on July 22-23 for an Ernst & Young Leadership Program! I will be staying at the Cincinnati Marriot North! We're gonna have to meet one day!
pookeylou said:
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Poohbear said:
Pookeylou...where r u from?
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I am in Cincy, Ohio! Where are you?
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saga_30311
New Member
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
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blaxalrose said:
Saga, I like your pics
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thank you!
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blaxalrose said:
Saga, I like your pics
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thank you!
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
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pookeylou said:
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Poohbear said:
pookeylou...whats the password to your transitioning album?
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PW: gentia
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'gentia' worked for your other albums but not the transitioning one.
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pookeylou said:
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Poohbear said:
pookeylou...whats the password to your transitioning album?
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PW: gentia
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'gentia' worked for your other albums but not the transitioning one.
pookeylou
New Member
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
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gabrielle2 said:
there is a thread on np right now about transitioning in secret. i didnt tell anyone i was going natural. (except for my coworker who overheard me when i finally said it...a former coworker walked in with her natural hair and i said..THATS IT! i am going natural!..and my sis in law who helped trim my hair during the transition) my parents didnt know (even though i was almost 30...i wasnt looking for their support. it was something i wanted to do..and i was going to do it. my mother doesnt like it..who cares? daddy doesnt have anything to say..brothers didnt care for it..still DONT CARE (one of them have a natural wife..but i guess its ok because she has naturally curly hair) its about ME and what i want.
waiting on the stamp of approval never worked for me
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Gabrielle is right. I had no familial support either. Other than my online friends...I had no mentors to help me through. My family would look at my hair with disdain. They quietly thought "her hair is to nappy to be wearing it natural". So I had to find peace within myself on this issue. It is not the norm to wear our hair they way we were born. The way the Creator originally created it to be...unique to us.
When you do the work, the research, the study...you will find that peace. And trust this...nothing anyone will say can take away your joy about your hair. Noone can break you. You will get frustrated that they dont understand...but it wont stop you from pursuing your goal.
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gabrielle2 said:
there is a thread on np right now about transitioning in secret. i didnt tell anyone i was going natural. (except for my coworker who overheard me when i finally said it...a former coworker walked in with her natural hair and i said..THATS IT! i am going natural!..and my sis in law who helped trim my hair during the transition) my parents didnt know (even though i was almost 30...i wasnt looking for their support. it was something i wanted to do..and i was going to do it. my mother doesnt like it..who cares? daddy doesnt have anything to say..brothers didnt care for it..still DONT CARE (one of them have a natural wife..but i guess its ok because she has naturally curly hair) its about ME and what i want.
waiting on the stamp of approval never worked for me
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Gabrielle is right. I had no familial support either. Other than my online friends...I had no mentors to help me through. My family would look at my hair with disdain. They quietly thought "her hair is to nappy to be wearing it natural". So I had to find peace within myself on this issue. It is not the norm to wear our hair they way we were born. The way the Creator originally created it to be...unique to us.
When you do the work, the research, the study...you will find that peace. And trust this...nothing anyone will say can take away your joy about your hair. Noone can break you. You will get frustrated that they dont understand...but it wont stop you from pursuing your goal.
Perhaps your not ready to go natural yet. Maybe you ought to give it some time to think this whole thing over. Do some more research and think about your reasons for wanting to be natural. Is it because you want to switch from relaxers to a press? or is it because you want to wear your real texture out?
You dont really know whats underneath that relaxer unless you cut it and in order to really be ready for natural hair you have to be willing to accept whatever your hair looks like. Too many people are set on that 'kelis and scary spice' type hair and want to be natural then when they see their looks nothing like they get discouraged either relax or texturize again for that more "acceptable" look. Part of the process is accepting what you got and making it work for u. Like others have said you need to make a mental transition also. There is no point in going natural if your not willing to accept things natural hair just "does" like frizz and shrink up cause your going to constantly spends hours each day frustrating yourself trying to force your hair into submission.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do im sure your hair will look beautiful whatever you do
You dont really know whats underneath that relaxer unless you cut it and in order to really be ready for natural hair you have to be willing to accept whatever your hair looks like. Too many people are set on that 'kelis and scary spice' type hair and want to be natural then when they see their looks nothing like they get discouraged either relax or texturize again for that more "acceptable" look. Part of the process is accepting what you got and making it work for u. Like others have said you need to make a mental transition also. There is no point in going natural if your not willing to accept things natural hair just "does" like frizz and shrink up cause your going to constantly spends hours each day frustrating yourself trying to force your hair into submission.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do im sure your hair will look beautiful whatever you do
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
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babyblue said:
Perhaps your not ready to go natural yet. Maybe you ought to give it some time to think this whole thing over. Do some more research and think about your reasons for wanting to be natural. Is it because you want to switch from relaxers to a press? or is it because you want to wear your real texture out?
You dont really know whats underneath that relaxer unless you cut it and in order to really be ready for natural hair you have to be willing to accept whatever your hair looks like. Too many people are set on that 'kelis and scary spice' type hair and want to be natural then when they see their looks nothing like they get discouraged either relax or texturize again for that more "acceptable" look. Part of the process is accepting what you got and making it work for u. Like others have said you need to make a mental transition also. There is no point in going natural if your not willing to accept things natural hair just "does" like frizz and shrink up cause your going to constantly spends hours each day frustrating yourself trying to force your hair into submission.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do im sure your hair will look beautiful whatever you do
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I have been doing research ever since I joined this forum and it seems like to me that natural hair is the healthier way to go (I know there can be unhealthy natural hair)...
Anyway, I would like to wear my real texture out and if I want it straightened, I would press it. Before I even got a relaxer, my hair was nice so Im not too worried about it looking unattractive. I know hair changes as you get older but I can take good care of my hair.
If I do give up with the transitioning, I might go to what Sherrylove uses as a relaxer (Phytorelaxer). Here is some information i found on it:
Another, more gentle option has also emerged for Black women. First developed in France, the Phytorelaxer replaces the harsh alkalies with a straightening mixture of egg and soya extracts, which are activated by with guanidine carbonate. Diana Morris, national coordinator for Photospecific, says that because the relaxer is based on natural ingredients it’s less damaging to your hair. It’s available through salons or Cosmetics Plus stores
By the way BABYBLUE, you're natural hair is nice too!
babyblue said:
Perhaps your not ready to go natural yet. Maybe you ought to give it some time to think this whole thing over. Do some more research and think about your reasons for wanting to be natural. Is it because you want to switch from relaxers to a press? or is it because you want to wear your real texture out?
You dont really know whats underneath that relaxer unless you cut it and in order to really be ready for natural hair you have to be willing to accept whatever your hair looks like. Too many people are set on that 'kelis and scary spice' type hair and want to be natural then when they see their looks nothing like they get discouraged either relax or texturize again for that more "acceptable" look. Part of the process is accepting what you got and making it work for u. Like others have said you need to make a mental transition also. There is no point in going natural if your not willing to accept things natural hair just "does" like frizz and shrink up cause your going to constantly spends hours each day frustrating yourself trying to force your hair into submission.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do im sure your hair will look beautiful whatever you do
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I have been doing research ever since I joined this forum and it seems like to me that natural hair is the healthier way to go (I know there can be unhealthy natural hair)...
Anyway, I would like to wear my real texture out and if I want it straightened, I would press it. Before I even got a relaxer, my hair was nice so Im not too worried about it looking unattractive. I know hair changes as you get older but I can take good care of my hair.
If I do give up with the transitioning, I might go to what Sherrylove uses as a relaxer (Phytorelaxer). Here is some information i found on it:
Another, more gentle option has also emerged for Black women. First developed in France, the Phytorelaxer replaces the harsh alkalies with a straightening mixture of egg and soya extracts, which are activated by with guanidine carbonate. Diana Morris, national coordinator for Photospecific, says that because the relaxer is based on natural ingredients it’s less damaging to your hair. It’s available through salons or Cosmetics Plus stores
By the way BABYBLUE, you're natural hair is nice too!
Divastate
Member
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babyblue said:
Like others have said you need to make a mental transition also. There is no point in going natural if your not willing to accept things natural hair just "does" like frizz and shrink up cause your going to constantly spends hours each day frustrating yourself trying to force your hair into submission.
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I agree! This was the key to my final decision to transition. I had no clue what my hair would look like underneath so I was determined that I would transition for a couple of years. I'm a researcher at heart so I did tons of research, read lots of books, went through websites and learned all I could about natural hair. By the time I was done researching not only had I embraced all types of hair but I was thrilled at the prospect of having thick frizzy totally definition free and blossoming hair of my own but I also rushed out to do my big chop much earlier than I ever anticipated. I was in the minority that wound up being a bit dissapointed in the coils and waves that I had because I wasn't expecting them. Now of course I love all of my hair regardless of what it does (no that doesn't mean I don't get tired of it sometimes like the present so I'm in braids for awhile). Like Pooky said I encourage you to research and research and research some more. Learn to embrace all hair types otherwise you could be leading yourself to major dissapointment.
All of these lady's have given great advice this is a decision you must make purely for yourself. Its your hair and your body. I never discussed my decision with anyone but online friends and my husband (who was very supportive since every woman in his family is natural he never understood me relaxing to begin with).
Hair Story is an excellent book Let's Talk Hair by Pamela Ferrell is also a great book- I have several natural hair care/black hair history books on Amazon most of which you should be able to find in the library. Good luck in your decision
Saga- congrats on you graduation I love your hair!!!
Babyblue you have gorgeous hair as well
babyblue said:
Like others have said you need to make a mental transition also. There is no point in going natural if your not willing to accept things natural hair just "does" like frizz and shrink up cause your going to constantly spends hours each day frustrating yourself trying to force your hair into submission.
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All of these lady's have given great advice this is a decision you must make purely for yourself. Its your hair and your body. I never discussed my decision with anyone but online friends and my husband (who was very supportive since every woman in his family is natural he never understood me relaxing to begin with).
Hair Story is an excellent book Let's Talk Hair by Pamela Ferrell is also a great book- I have several natural hair care/black hair history books on Amazon most of which you should be able to find in the library. Good luck in your decision
Saga- congrats on you graduation I love your hair!!!
Babyblue you have gorgeous hair as well
B
Bublnbrnsuga
Guest
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gabrielle2 said:
i dont think you are mentally ready for the transition to natural hair. when you are..u will know and be ready for whatever comes to you. u cant base your hair on another's head. that is their hair. just because it appears to look a certain way doesnt mean that it is..nor that your hair will look that way.
anyway, for now, seems that you should keep relaxing. when ever you are ready to make that transition, go for it.
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I agree. When the decison to go natural is made,it is normal to get frustrated;however,if you still have an urge to relax/texturize again and you are constanly frustrated with the transition,8 times out of 10 you will end up relaxing-I've seen it happen. The decison to go natural is mainly a mental change.
gabrielle2 said:
i dont think you are mentally ready for the transition to natural hair. when you are..u will know and be ready for whatever comes to you. u cant base your hair on another's head. that is their hair. just because it appears to look a certain way doesnt mean that it is..nor that your hair will look that way.
anyway, for now, seems that you should keep relaxing. when ever you are ready to make that transition, go for it.
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I agree. When the decison to go natural is made,it is normal to get frustrated;however,if you still have an urge to relax/texturize again and you are constanly frustrated with the transition,8 times out of 10 you will end up relaxing-I've seen it happen. The decison to go natural is mainly a mental change.
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
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Bublnbrnsuga said:
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gabrielle2 said:
i dont think you are mentally ready for the transition to natural hair. when you are..u will know and be ready for whatever comes to you. u cant base your hair on another's head. that is their hair. just because it appears to look a certain way doesnt mean that it is..nor that your hair will look that way.
anyway, for now, seems that you should keep relaxing. when ever you are ready to make that transition, go for it.
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I agree.
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I DONT WANT TO KEEP RELAXING!
Bublnbrnsuga said:
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gabrielle2 said:
i dont think you are mentally ready for the transition to natural hair. when you are..u will know and be ready for whatever comes to you. u cant base your hair on another's head. that is their hair. just because it appears to look a certain way doesnt mean that it is..nor that your hair will look that way.
anyway, for now, seems that you should keep relaxing. when ever you are ready to make that transition, go for it.
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I agree.
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I DONT WANT TO KEEP RELAXING!
B
Bublnbrnsuga
Guest
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saga_30311 said:
<thinking, I may be one of the albums she's referring to, but that's ok>
One of the first things a long-term natural shared with me that helped me look at my hair differently was that natural hair has an incredibly different texture than straight hair. In her words "it's like comparing suede & leather. Leather's surface is smooth, and reflects light, so it appears shiny. Suede has a nap, and absorbs light - therefore it appears matte. Natural hair is to straight hair as Suede is to Leather." Man, I wish I could remember who I'm quoting, but I digress...
What appears to be dry, unhealthy and (therefore) 'unattractive' may just be tighly coiled hair that is well-oiled, healthy, well-taken care of - and just nappy & absorbing light. Part of my nappy journey was transitioning my mind, and learning about my natural hair. Your questions/concerns are valid, and this something you should definitely explore. One disclaimer though - it's probably best in the early stages of your journey, to try to get past the "I want hair like _____ (insert lovely Natural sista's name here)" phase. Every nappy head is COMPLETELY different, and you don't want to end up disappointed later.
I can't even front - I'd love for EVERYONE to go natural.
Reality is, not everyone is ready for it.
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Saga,you got some hur on your head! It is very beautiful. Now you know you're wrong ,right? How come we can't click on the picture to enlarge it to enjoy viewing all of that beautiful,healthy hair? BTW,has anyone ever told you that you resemble Vanessa Bell Armstrong (a gospel singer)?
saga_30311 said:
<thinking, I may be one of the albums she's referring to, but that's ok>
One of the first things a long-term natural shared with me that helped me look at my hair differently was that natural hair has an incredibly different texture than straight hair. In her words "it's like comparing suede & leather. Leather's surface is smooth, and reflects light, so it appears shiny. Suede has a nap, and absorbs light - therefore it appears matte. Natural hair is to straight hair as Suede is to Leather." Man, I wish I could remember who I'm quoting, but I digress...
What appears to be dry, unhealthy and (therefore) 'unattractive' may just be tighly coiled hair that is well-oiled, healthy, well-taken care of - and just nappy & absorbing light. Part of my nappy journey was transitioning my mind, and learning about my natural hair. Your questions/concerns are valid, and this something you should definitely explore. One disclaimer though - it's probably best in the early stages of your journey, to try to get past the "I want hair like _____ (insert lovely Natural sista's name here)" phase. Every nappy head is COMPLETELY different, and you don't want to end up disappointed later.
I can't even front - I'd love for EVERYONE to go natural.
Reality is, not everyone is ready for it.
[/ QUOTE ]
Saga,you got some hur on your head! It is very beautiful. Now you know you're wrong ,right? How come we can't click on the picture to enlarge it to enjoy viewing all of that beautiful,healthy hair? BTW,has anyone ever told you that you resemble Vanessa Bell Armstrong (a gospel singer)?
DahomeyAhosi
New Member
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
Pooh if you're dissapointed about the short length don't be. I think natural hair sees growth more quickly simply because it's at its healthiest, strongest state. Mine certainly grew like crazy when I was natural. As far as the texture, if you remember what your natural texture is and feel comfortable with it you should be ready for what you'll get.
When I went natural I had no idea what I'd see but I loved what I got because it was so strong and healthy. My hair was very coarse 4b and beautiful!!
Pooh if you're dissapointed about the short length don't be. I think natural hair sees growth more quickly simply because it's at its healthiest, strongest state. Mine certainly grew like crazy when I was natural. As far as the texture, if you remember what your natural texture is and feel comfortable with it you should be ready for what you'll get.
When I went natural I had no idea what I'd see but I loved what I got because it was so strong and healthy. My hair was very coarse 4b and beautiful!!
B
Bublnbrnsuga
Guest
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Poohbear said:
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pookeylou said:
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Poohbear said:
Pookeylou...where r u from?
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I am in Cincy, Ohio! Where are you?
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Hey! We're near by each other! I live in Louisville, KY! I will be in Cincy on July 22-23 for an Ernst & Young Leadership Program! I will be staying at the Cincinnati Marriot North! We're gonna have to meet one day!
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Poohbear,I would love to meet you,too! I am in Memphis and I plan on coming up there in August. I want to go to Kentucky Kingdom.
Poohbear said:
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pookeylou said:
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Poohbear said:
Pookeylou...where r u from?
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I am in Cincy, Ohio! Where are you?
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Poohbear,I would love to meet you,too! I am in Memphis and I plan on coming up there in August. I want to go to Kentucky Kingdom.
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
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DahomeyAhosi said:
Pooh if you're dissapointed about the short length don't be. I think natural hair sees growth more quickly simply because it's at its healthiest, strongest state. Mine certainly grew like crazy when I was natural. As far as the texture, if you remember what your natural texture is and feel comfortable with it you should be ready for what you'll get.
When I went natural I had no idea what I'd see but I loved what I got because it was so strong and healthy. My hair was very coarse 4b and beautiful!!
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I agree w/ u!
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DahomeyAhosi said:
Pooh if you're dissapointed about the short length don't be. I think natural hair sees growth more quickly simply because it's at its healthiest, strongest state. Mine certainly grew like crazy when I was natural. As far as the texture, if you remember what your natural texture is and feel comfortable with it you should be ready for what you'll get.
When I went natural I had no idea what I'd see but I loved what I got because it was so strong and healthy. My hair was very coarse 4b and beautiful!!
[/ QUOTE ]
I agree w/ u!
Ayeshia
New Member
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
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DahomeyAhosi said:
Pooh if you're dissapointed about the short length don't be. I think natural hair sees growth more quickly simply because it's at its healthiest, strongest state. Mine certainly grew like crazy when I was natural. As far as the texture, if you remember what your natural texture is and feel comfortable with it you should be ready for what you'll get.
When I went natural I had no idea what I'd see but I loved what I got because it was so strong and healthy. My hair was very coarse 4b and beautiful!!
[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly...I will admit I hated my BC for awhile
But I knew that it was the only way to go for ME Simply becasue I would have had the urge to relax again. And people always think that once you do thE BC then you will have a twa for a long time. Sooooooo not true. I went from one inch of hair in November to 5 inches..and then I had a one inch trim last month. And guess what I had no plans of going natural when I did the BC. I was spur of the moment for real. Like earlier that day I had no intentions of putting a pair of scissors to my head
But do whats best for you. Contrary to believe Poohbear I had no support either
my only support was this board and my grandmother (only because she loves short hair in the first place). Everybody that has sen me so far has asked why I cut my hair...never mind asking "Hey Ayeshia how are you? I havent seen you in awhile"
Instead I get "Damn girl why you cut your hair?" And to be truthful it hurts a bit because I was always associated as Ayeshia The girl with long hair. And i believed that I would only look good with long hair, if i didnt then I was ugly
But now Im glad that I did it
Im not encouraging you to cut your hair but do what you feel is right for you
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DahomeyAhosi said:
Pooh if you're dissapointed about the short length don't be. I think natural hair sees growth more quickly simply because it's at its healthiest, strongest state. Mine certainly grew like crazy when I was natural. As far as the texture, if you remember what your natural texture is and feel comfortable with it you should be ready for what you'll get.
When I went natural I had no idea what I'd see but I loved what I got because it was so strong and healthy. My hair was very coarse 4b and beautiful!!
[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly...I will admit I hated my BC for awhile
But do whats best for you. Contrary to believe Poohbear I had no support either
Instead I get "Damn girl why you cut your hair?" And to be truthful it hurts a bit because I was always associated as Ayeshia The girl with long hair. And i believed that I would only look good with long hair, if i didnt then I was ugly
Im not encouraging you to cut your hair but do what you feel is right for you
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
Not natural here, but chiming in to say:
You may just not like short hair on yourself generally regardless of its texture. Just stretch out your transition longer (until your natural hair is at a length where you would feel comfortable chopping the relaxed parts off).
Just because you may not be ready for natural hair right now (after what, 2 days?) doesn't mean you have to relax, which I know you don't want to do.
Conditioner washes are what helped me stretch out my transition period where I considered if going natural or relaxing was best for me.
You won't have short relaxed or natural hair forever unless you keep it that way.
Not natural here, but chiming in to say:
You may just not like short hair on yourself generally regardless of its texture. Just stretch out your transition longer (until your natural hair is at a length where you would feel comfortable chopping the relaxed parts off).
Just because you may not be ready for natural hair right now (after what, 2 days?) doesn't mean you have to relax, which I know you don't want to do.
Conditioner washes are what helped me stretch out my transition period where I considered if going natural or relaxing was best for me.
You won't have short relaxed or natural hair forever unless you keep it that way.
Poohbear
Fearfully Wonderfully Made
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
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Boadicea said:
Not natural here, but chiming in to say:
You may just not like short hair on yourself generally regardless of its texture. Just stretch out your transition longer (until your natural hair is at a length where you would feel comfortable chopping the relaxed parts off).
Just because you may not be ready for natural hair right now (after what, 2 days?) doesn't mean you have to relax, which I know you don't want to do.
Conditioner washes are what helped me stretch out my transition period where I considered if going natural or relaxing was best for me.
You won't have short relaxed or natural hair forever unless you keep it that way.
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That's why I decided to transition without the big chop because I do not like short hair. Right now my hair is shoulder length and Im planning on growing my natural hair to shoulder length, then cutting off what's left of my relaxed hair. Thanks for your comment Boadicea. It doesn't matter if you are not natural...you have beautiful relaxed her!
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Boadicea said:
Not natural here, but chiming in to say:
You may just not like short hair on yourself generally regardless of its texture. Just stretch out your transition longer (until your natural hair is at a length where you would feel comfortable chopping the relaxed parts off).
Just because you may not be ready for natural hair right now (after what, 2 days?) doesn't mean you have to relax, which I know you don't want to do.
Conditioner washes are what helped me stretch out my transition period where I considered if going natural or relaxing was best for me.
You won't have short relaxed or natural hair forever unless you keep it that way.
[/ QUOTE ]
That's why I decided to transition without the big chop because I do not like short hair. Right now my hair is shoulder length and Im planning on growing my natural hair to shoulder length, then cutting off what's left of my relaxed hair. Thanks for your comment Boadicea. It doesn't matter if you are not natural...you have beautiful relaxed her!
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
Thanks!
I don't like short hair on myself either (relaxed or natural, it won't look good on me) so I'd rather cut off the relaxed parts when my natural hair is longer, too.
I like your avatar picture best. That's the style I tried to wear but it never came out right.
Thanks!
I like your avatar picture best. That's the style I tried to wear but it never came out right.
bettydavis
New Member
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
I know how you feel Poohbear. Im still adjusting to my natural hair, I rely alot on extensions because I still feel like my hair is too short to look pretty on me. It really does take alot of patience to grow out your natural hair, because of the shrinkage, it always looks shorter. But what keeps me going is seeing how much thicker and healthier my hair is now.
I know how you feel Poohbear. Im still adjusting to my natural hair, I rely alot on extensions because I still feel like my hair is too short to look pretty on me. It really does take alot of patience to grow out your natural hair, because of the shrinkage, it always looks shorter. But what keeps me going is seeing how much thicker and healthier my hair is now.
deeplyrooted
New Member
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
Mmmm . . . sorry if my pics may have swayed you in the wrong direction, PoohBear, but either way, I hope you follow the path that you feel will work for you. Don't feel pressured to big chop if you don't want to. That was my route, and nearly 2 years later, I'm happy with it.
As long as you're happy, your LHCF sisters will be happy for/with you.
Mmmm . . . sorry if my pics may have swayed you in the wrong direction, PoohBear, but either way, I hope you follow the path that you feel will work for you. Don't feel pressured to big chop if you don't want to. That was my route, and nearly 2 years later, I'm happy with it.
TigerLily
New Member
[ QUOTE ]
saga_30311 said:
<thinking, I may be one of the albums she's referring to, but that's ok>
One of the first things a long-term natural shared with me that helped me look at my hair differently was that natural hair has an incredibly different texture than straight hair. In her words "it's like comparing suede & leather. Leather's surface is smooth, and reflects light, so it appears shiny. Suede has a nap, and absorbs light - therefore it appears matte. Natural hair is to straight hair as Suede is to Leather." Man, I wish I could remember who I'm quoting, but I digress...
What appears to be dry, unhealthy and (therefore) 'unattractive' may just be tighly coiled hair that is well-oiled, healthy, well-taken care of - and just nappy & absorbing light. Part of my nappy journey was transitioning my mind, and learning about my natural hair. Your questions/concerns are valid, and this something you should definitely explore. One disclaimer though - it's probably best in the early stages of your journey, to try to get past the "I want hair like _____ (insert lovely Natural sista's name here)" phase. Every nappy head is COMPLETELY different, and you don't want to end up disappointed later.
I can't even front - I'd love for EVERYONE to go natural.
Reality is, not everyone is ready for it.
[/ QUOTE ]
I agree with this statement. Most hair in its' natural state has a sheen, but doesn't shine unless it's pressed. My hair is like that. It has sheen, but it doesn't shine unless it is straightened.
I had shoulder length hair until I did the big chop at the beginning of this month. My hair now comes below my earlobe and it's the healthiest that it's ever been! With perms, my hair always grew to my shoulders, then began to break and thin out. No matter what perm or product I used the result was the same. I was going to wait until my natural hair was shoulder length, as well, but I grew tired of dealing with the two textures and decided to wack the relaxed hair off. The other posters are right; it is a mental process and you have to be mentally ready. I would've loved for my hair to have loose coils, but I had to learn to be comfortable and proud of my own natural texture before I could wear it.
I really don't have any support either. Only a couple of people I know like my hair. My mother hates my afro and can't wait 'till I go back looking like her daughter! What matters is that I LOVE IT because I'm the one that has to wear it and go out in the world with it.
You really have to focus your mind on liking your natural hair no matter who doesn't like and no matter what texture it may be. When I go out with my afro, I get some stares (mainly from white women; you would think that they never saw one before and I know that they have because they have T.V.!) and I stare right back. However, I also get some complements, too.
Sorry for rambling!
saga_30311 said:
<thinking, I may be one of the albums she's referring to, but that's ok>
One of the first things a long-term natural shared with me that helped me look at my hair differently was that natural hair has an incredibly different texture than straight hair. In her words "it's like comparing suede & leather. Leather's surface is smooth, and reflects light, so it appears shiny. Suede has a nap, and absorbs light - therefore it appears matte. Natural hair is to straight hair as Suede is to Leather." Man, I wish I could remember who I'm quoting, but I digress...
What appears to be dry, unhealthy and (therefore) 'unattractive' may just be tighly coiled hair that is well-oiled, healthy, well-taken care of - and just nappy & absorbing light. Part of my nappy journey was transitioning my mind, and learning about my natural hair. Your questions/concerns are valid, and this something you should definitely explore. One disclaimer though - it's probably best in the early stages of your journey, to try to get past the "I want hair like _____ (insert lovely Natural sista's name here)" phase. Every nappy head is COMPLETELY different, and you don't want to end up disappointed later.
I can't even front - I'd love for EVERYONE to go natural.
Reality is, not everyone is ready for it.
[/ QUOTE ]
I agree with this statement. Most hair in its' natural state has a sheen, but doesn't shine unless it's pressed. My hair is like that. It has sheen, but it doesn't shine unless it is straightened.
I had shoulder length hair until I did the big chop at the beginning of this month. My hair now comes below my earlobe and it's the healthiest that it's ever been! With perms, my hair always grew to my shoulders, then began to break and thin out. No matter what perm or product I used the result was the same. I was going to wait until my natural hair was shoulder length, as well, but I grew tired of dealing with the two textures and decided to wack the relaxed hair off. The other posters are right; it is a mental process and you have to be mentally ready. I would've loved for my hair to have loose coils, but I had to learn to be comfortable and proud of my own natural texture before I could wear it.
I really don't have any support either. Only a couple of people I know like my hair. My mother hates my afro and can't wait 'till I go back looking like her daughter! What matters is that I LOVE IT because I'm the one that has to wear it and go out in the world with it.
You really have to focus your mind on liking your natural hair no matter who doesn't like and no matter what texture it may be. When I go out with my afro, I get some stares (mainly from white women; you would think that they never saw one before and I know that they have because they have T.V.!) and I stare right back. However, I also get some complements, too.
Sorry for rambling!
saga_30311
New Member
[ QUOTE ]
Bublnbrnsuga said:
[ QUOTE ]
saga_30311 said:
<thinking, I may be one of the albums she's referring to, but that's ok>
One of the first things a long-term natural shared with me that helped me look at my hair differently was that natural hair has an incredibly different texture than straight hair. In her words "it's like comparing suede & leather. Leather's surface is smooth, and reflects light, so it appears shiny. Suede has a nap, and absorbs light - therefore it appears matte. Natural hair is to straight hair as Suede is to Leather." Man, I wish I could remember who I'm quoting, but I digress...
What appears to be dry, unhealthy and (therefore) 'unattractive' may just be tighly coiled hair that is well-oiled, healthy, well-taken care of - and just nappy & absorbing light. Part of my nappy journey was transitioning my mind, and learning about my natural hair. Your questions/concerns are valid, and this something you should definitely explore. One disclaimer though - it's probably best in the early stages of your journey, to try to get past the "I want hair like _____ (insert lovely Natural sista's name here)" phase. Every nappy head is COMPLETELY different, and you don't want to end up disappointed later.
I can't even front - I'd love for EVERYONE to go natural.
Reality is, not everyone is ready for it.
[/ QUOTE ]
Saga,you got some hur on your head! It is very beautiful. Now you know you're wrong ,right? How come we can't click on the picture to enlarge it to enjoy viewing all of that beautiful,healthy hair? BTW,has anyone ever told you that you resemble Vanessa Bell Armstrong (a gospel singer)?
[/ QUOTE ]
That one I hadn't heard before - but thanks for the compliments
I actually had the pictures out a while ago, but then someone was stealing pics from some of the albums on Nappturality, and posting it in a Yahoo group for people with hair fetishes, and I decided to just post the thumbnails. I may open the album up fully so you can better see the pics sometime this week.
Bublnbrnsuga said:
[ QUOTE ]
saga_30311 said:
<thinking, I may be one of the albums she's referring to, but that's ok>
One of the first things a long-term natural shared with me that helped me look at my hair differently was that natural hair has an incredibly different texture than straight hair. In her words "it's like comparing suede & leather. Leather's surface is smooth, and reflects light, so it appears shiny. Suede has a nap, and absorbs light - therefore it appears matte. Natural hair is to straight hair as Suede is to Leather." Man, I wish I could remember who I'm quoting, but I digress...
What appears to be dry, unhealthy and (therefore) 'unattractive' may just be tighly coiled hair that is well-oiled, healthy, well-taken care of - and just nappy & absorbing light. Part of my nappy journey was transitioning my mind, and learning about my natural hair. Your questions/concerns are valid, and this something you should definitely explore. One disclaimer though - it's probably best in the early stages of your journey, to try to get past the "I want hair like _____ (insert lovely Natural sista's name here)" phase. Every nappy head is COMPLETELY different, and you don't want to end up disappointed later.
I can't even front - I'd love for EVERYONE to go natural.
Reality is, not everyone is ready for it.
[/ QUOTE ]
Saga,you got some hur on your head! It is very beautiful. Now you know you're wrong ,right? How come we can't click on the picture to enlarge it to enjoy viewing all of that beautiful,healthy hair? BTW,has anyone ever told you that you resemble Vanessa Bell Armstrong (a gospel singer)?
[/ QUOTE ]
That one I hadn't heard before - but thanks for the compliments
Tai
New Member
Poohbear, do not be discouraged about going natural. It's a wonderful choice, especially since you mentioned that your hair is thinner than you'd like with the relaxer in it. I was natural for awhile and I decided to get a texturizer to thin my hair out (it was WAY too thick for my liking natural).
I must say that I didn't have to go through any mental adjustments when going natural. I didn't do the big chop. I would periodically get "big trims" (1-2 inches). Honestly, my natural texture isn't different from the way it is now or when it was relaxed because I never got bone straight relaxers. My natural hair is just thicker, a whole lot thicker, the texture is the same. Depending on your hair now, it may not be that much of a transition.
You will find all of the support you need at LHCF.
I must say that I didn't have to go through any mental adjustments when going natural. I didn't do the big chop. I would periodically get "big trims" (1-2 inches). Honestly, my natural texture isn't different from the way it is now or when it was relaxed because I never got bone straight relaxers. My natural hair is just thicker, a whole lot thicker, the texture is the same. Depending on your hair now, it may not be that much of a transition.
You will find all of the support you need at LHCF.
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Poohbear said:
I hope this doesn't offend anyone...
I've been looking at some of the natural hair albums and have been discouraged by what I see (especially the ones that have done the big chop). Some of the pictures of short natural hair are scaring me!
I think in my head, "I dont want my hair to look like that!"
I don't know whether to go natural now just because of some of the pictures or just extend my relaxer for a long period of time.
But I really dont want to go back to relaxing though because I dont want to be doing that for the rest of my life.
Should I texturize or just extend my relaxer for a long time? I've seen some encouraging naturals (like hairlove, silvergirl, and other ones with shoulder length or longer natural hair)...maybe I should stop looking at the albums and do what works best for me...
[/ QUOTE ]
I agree that you should do what works best for you. Personally, I think everyone should be natural, but that's just me. I guess it all boils down to your reason for going natural. If you want to go natural, go. If you want to keep putting chemicals in your head, do it. Either way, take care of your hair.
Poohbear said:
I've been looking at some of the natural hair albums and have been discouraged by what I see (especially the ones that have done the big chop). Some of the pictures of short natural hair are scaring me!
But I really dont want to go back to relaxing though because I dont want to be doing that for the rest of my life.
[/ QUOTE ]
I agree that you should do what works best for you. Personally, I think everyone should be natural, but that's just me. I guess it all boils down to your reason for going natural. If you want to go natural, go. If you want to keep putting chemicals in your head, do it. Either way, take care of your hair.
[ QUOTE ]
)...maybe I should stop looking at the albums and do what works best for me...
[/ QUOTE ]
Most people I think follow the same path, but you should follow your instinct. Not advice from Napputruality or whoever.
This 15 yr old girl down the street has Leukemia and she is totally devasted about losing her hair and having to be shaved even though we keep telling her it's only hair and it'll grow back, she said - "But I did'nt appreciate my hair, but now I will cherish it"..
I thought out of the mouths of babes.. I told her about this board and she can't even phatom why people want to big chop, and look like that on purpose, that's what she said.
Anyway, I said all that, cause I'm ramblin
But really stay close to what your feelin. Don't let anyone tell you it's just fear, your instinct is there for a reason.
Some people's albums are slammin and others, just point blank look better relaxed. No offense to anyone.
)...maybe I should stop looking at the albums and do what works best for me...
[/ QUOTE ]
Most people I think follow the same path, but you should follow your instinct. Not advice from Napputruality or whoever.
This 15 yr old girl down the street has Leukemia and she is totally devasted about losing her hair and having to be shaved even though we keep telling her it's only hair and it'll grow back, she said - "But I did'nt appreciate my hair, but now I will cherish it"..
I thought out of the mouths of babes.. I told her about this board and she can't even phatom why people want to big chop, and look like that on purpose, that's what she said.
Anyway, I said all that, cause I'm ramblin
Some people's albums are slammin and others, just point blank look better relaxed. No offense to anyone.
[ QUOTE ]
Nay said:
Pooh, the beauty of natural hair is that it can and does take on so many different extremes.
If you look at my hair when it is washed and air dried with no products, I look like that Gossamer character in my Avatar. No joke. For years I kind of hated my hair because I thought that it was a pain in the natural butt. It didn't shine. It didn't have soft, touchable waves.
But NOWADAYS I am having a love affair with my hair that you would not believe. My hair is exactly the same, but what changed was my knowledge of how to make my hair do different things.
Don't let a couple pics discourage you. We African-Americans have some multi-faceted hair on our heads.
[/ QUOTE ]
You make it look so effortlessly..
Beautiful Hair...
Nay said:
Pooh, the beauty of natural hair is that it can and does take on so many different extremes.
If you look at my hair when it is washed and air dried with no products, I look like that Gossamer character in my Avatar. No joke. For years I kind of hated my hair because I thought that it was a pain in the natural butt. It didn't shine. It didn't have soft, touchable waves.
But NOWADAYS I am having a love affair with my hair that you would not believe. My hair is exactly the same, but what changed was my knowledge of how to make my hair do different things.
Don't let a couple pics discourage you. We African-Americans have some multi-faceted hair on our heads.
[/ QUOTE ]
You make it look so effortlessly..
Beautiful Hair...
moneychaser
Well-Known Member
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
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ayeshia said:
[ QUOTE ]
DahomeyAhosi said:
Pooh if you're dissapointed about the short length don't be. I think natural hair sees growth more quickly simply because it's at its healthiest, strongest state. Mine certainly grew like crazy when I was natural. As far as the texture, if you remember what your natural texture is and feel comfortable with it you should be ready for what you'll get.
When I went natural I had no idea what I'd see but I loved what I got because it was so strong and healthy. My hair was very coarse 4b and beautiful!!
[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly...I will admit I hated my BC for awhile
But I knew that it was the only way to go for ME Simply becasue I would have had the urge to relax again. And people always think that once you do thE BC then you will have a twa for a long time. Sooooooo not true. I went from one inch of hair in November to 5 inches..and then I had a one inch trim last month. And guess what I had no plans of going natural when I did the BC. I was spur of the moment for real. Like earlier that day I had no intentions of putting a pair of scissors to my head
But do whats best for you. Contrary to believe Poohbear I had no support either
my only support was this board and my grandmother (only because she loves short hair in the first place). Everybody that has sen me so far has asked why I cut my hair...never mind asking "Hey Ayeshia how are you? I havent seen you in awhile"
Instead I get "Damn girl why you cut your hair?" And to be truthful it hurts a bit because I was always associated as Ayeshia The girl with long hair. And i believed that I would only look good with long hair, if i didnt then I was ugly
But now Im glad that I did it
Im not encouraging you to cut your hair but do what you feel is right for you
[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly what I did. Just woke up one morning and chopped ALL may hair off to about 1 inch.
I think thats the best way to do it, spur of the moment
[ QUOTE ]
ayeshia said:
[ QUOTE ]
DahomeyAhosi said:
Pooh if you're dissapointed about the short length don't be. I think natural hair sees growth more quickly simply because it's at its healthiest, strongest state. Mine certainly grew like crazy when I was natural. As far as the texture, if you remember what your natural texture is and feel comfortable with it you should be ready for what you'll get.
When I went natural I had no idea what I'd see but I loved what I got because it was so strong and healthy. My hair was very coarse 4b and beautiful!!
[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly...I will admit I hated my BC for awhile
But do whats best for you. Contrary to believe Poohbear I had no support either
Instead I get "Damn girl why you cut your hair?" And to be truthful it hurts a bit because I was always associated as Ayeshia The girl with long hair. And i believed that I would only look good with long hair, if i didnt then I was ugly
Im not encouraging you to cut your hair but do what you feel is right for you
[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly what I did. Just woke up one morning and chopped ALL may hair off to about 1 inch.
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
[ QUOTE ]
Bublnbrnsuga said:
Hey! We're near by each other! I live in Louisville, KY! I will be in Cincy on July 22-23 for an Ernst & Young Leadership Program! I will be staying at the Cincinnati Marriot North! We're gonna have to meet one day!
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Poohbear,I would love to meet you,too! I am in Memphis and I plan on coming up there in August. I want to go to Kentucky Kingdom.
[/ QUOTE ]
I KNOW ya'll ain't trying to go to Kentucky Kingdom without me?!?
LOL!
[ QUOTE ]
Bublnbrnsuga said:
[/ QUOTE ]
Poohbear,I would love to meet you,too! I am in Memphis and I plan on coming up there in August. I want to go to Kentucky Kingdom.
[/ QUOTE ]
I KNOW ya'll ain't trying to go to Kentucky Kingdom without me?!?
ChocoKitty
Well-Known Member
Re: Getting Discouraged ALREADY about going Natura
I know you can make it Poohbear!
You've got the LHCF behind you! I went natural over 10 years ago. I never did a "big" chop. I just got "trims" every once in a while. Then I got a chin-length bob cut. I wish had LHCF to assist me back then. (Shoot! My hair would have butt length by now.) Please stay encouraged!
I know you can make it Poohbear!
