Getting A Life!

[onyxdreams]

Ladies,

How are you maintaining your own "life" so your not always at home waiting for your husband to come home?

I'm an introvert by nature while DH is an extrovert.

I've been married forever, and we are now emptynesters. DH has a lot more social activities planned than I do. Whether it's work related or military duty, he has his own life. All I do is work. I do not want to be a boring wife. Please share!

 

[Transformer]

Join meet-up groups where you can participate but still be wall flowerish if you want. How about hobbies? I'm politically active in city zoning and budget meetings. II just follow my own interest.

 

[onyxdreams]

Transformer that's my issue, I have No hobbies. I use to like writing, drawing and painting, but that was years ago. Those activities will reinforce being at home.
Good idea, I tried a meeting group before but didn't really attend the meet ups!I backed off at the last minute. Thanks!

 

[Ivonnovi]

What do you enjoy doing? If no answer comes to mind immediately, then you really need to find an enjoyable activity to engage in.

It can be as simple as painting, knitting, or the like. Then (I'd recommend) going onto Meetup.com to see if there's a local group for that activity too; each group should get you out the house at least once a month. .....BTW, depending on your location you may find specific group for Introverts

 

[onyxdreams]

Thank you Ivonnovi! So far I plan on focusing on me, such as massages, more dinners and lunch with friends. As a matter of fact I'm meeting my friend for lunch on Monday. My goal is not to run home each day after work, unless I'm truly tired. I do want to join a meet up group.
I don't want to end up like my mom, all she did was live for her kids and work. I also don't want my happiness to solely depend on my husband.

 

[Leylu]

I would relish my time alone at home before DH comes. But I see you're not so...does anyone from your job go out for happy hour after work? Do you have any friends in the area to connect or do dinner with? Maybe you can sign up for a class? I always wanted to learn to take a sewing class or a culinary course.

 

[locabouthair]

I absolutely agree you should have interests outside of your DH and family. Do you have a bucket list? Things you always wanted to do? If not create a list. Do you like to read, garden, or travel? What about learning a new language?
Check out meetup.com and also check out your library. Mine has events sometimes.

What about volunteering at a shelter or a food bank?

 

[onyxdreams]

I just started gardening and I'm taking online courses. I like the idea of volunteering. As for meet up I did visit the site yesterday.

Locabouthair, I love the idea of a bucket list. That maybe my next project! Thank you!

I don't mind alone time, I actually relish it. I just want my own interests.

 

[Phoenix14]

I'm single but this is the same for me. I've devoted the last few years to work and my career so now I'm lost

 

[Ajna]

Honestly, I think this is great advice for anyone married or not.
Get out and do stuff you are interested in be it a class or a group or social club (i.e. books or social) and enjoy the task at hand eventually you will meet people who have similar interests and even if you don't you will have a good time doing whatever it is.
For me I had to get used to the idea that sometimes I am just alone - like I am going to a movie alone or I am going to a class alone. It was weird at first but now I do not think about it.

 

[Ajna]

I just started gardening and I'm taking online courses. I like the idea of volunteering. As for meet up I did visit the site yesterday.

Locabouthair, I love the idea if a bucket list. That maybe my next project! Thank you!

I don't mind alone time, I actually relish it. I just want my own interests.

ooo we should talk gardening is there a link for that? This summer I plan to redo my back yard into a flower garden. I have a community plot for my food.

 

[Ajna]

I'm single but this is the same for me. I've devoted the last few years to work and my career so now I'm lost

Never lost just ready for the next best thing
What do you want to do? What do you miss doing that you used to?

 

[onyxdreams]

ooo we should talk gardening is there a link for that? This summer I plan to redo my back yard into a flower garden. I have a community plot for my food.

I just planted gardenias in my flowerbeds and trying to keep them alive. Lol

The online class is for ED Leadership.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

Keep trying new things and you will find hobbies! Every week go to a new activity or event. Take some solo trips too. Do some volunteering. Take a part time job helping with events. Join a walking group. The options are endless.

 

[lux10023]

you need an old lady gang...i set my grandma with one..i took her to a bingo class...and we made friends with other ladies her age lol
and i buy them tickets to things like broadway shows and pottery classes....museum tours etc

tap into your hobbies..oddly enough whenever i get bored with life i do the opposite of what i normally do and usually end up venturing into a new hobby of sorts...

 

[onyxdreams]

you need an old lady gang...i set my grandma with one..i took her to a bingo class...and we made friends with other ladies her age lol
and i buy them tickets to things like broadway shows and pottery classes....museum tours etc

tap into your hobbies..oddly enough whenever i get bored with life i do the opposite of what i normally do and usually end up venturing into a new hobby of sorts...

Yes! A middleage gang lol! Seriously, I would love that! I moved from NYC to the South and I have yet to fit in. I have a hand full of friends but the don't want to go anywhere or do anything.

 

[Phoenix14]

Never lost just ready for the next best thing
What do you want to do? What do you miss doing that you used to?

I want to dabble in art (ceramics, photography). I want to learn how to sew. I want to learn how to enjoy running (a friend just invited me to join his running group today). I used to love cooking for friends and loved ones. Writing. Painting my nails.

I think I just wrote a list for myself. Thanks @Ajna

 

[Jmartjrmd]

Try some things out. See what sticks. I took a self defense class and had a blast. Then signed up for a few boxing classes. Tried karate and hated it. Some of these things offer try before you sign up deal so doesn't always cost money.
Other things I've done with friends or solo...
Comedy club
Horseback riding
Pole dancing class...just do this! So much fun
Photography class
Cooking class
Cake decorating class
Recently started sewing class
Lots of traveling...going this weekend to see the Sequoia trees
Rock climbing
Jazz/tap class
Piano lessons
Walks in park
Hosting dinner party
Flower arranging
Improv class
Shopping
Animal rescue...sometimes go to just walk and play with the dogs waiting to be adopted

If you like babies some hospitals have cuddlers where you go in for an hour or 2 to hold babies
Museums
Library
Art class
Jewelry making class
Shooting range
Movies
Plays
Sports events...my college has a ladies camp I attend every year...fun!
Yoga/pilates
Spa day
work related conference
Flea market
Meet ups

I meet people all the time doing these things...doesn't always result in making new friends but I enjoy being around people

As someone said the possibilities are endless

 

[onyxdreams]

Try some things out. See what sticks. I took a self defense class and had a blast. Then signed up for a few boxing classes. Tried karate and hated it. Some of these things offer try before you sign up deal so doesn't always cost money.
Other things I've done with friends or solo...
Comedy club
Horseback riding
Pole dancing class...just do this! So much fun
Photography class
Cooking class
Cake decorating class
Recently started sewing class
Lots of traveling...going this weekend to see the Sequoia trees
Rock climbing
Jazz/tap class
Piano lessons
Walks in park
Hosting dinner party
Flower arranging
Improv class
Shopping
Animal rescue...sometimes go to just walk and play with the dogs waiting to be adopted

If you like babies some hospitals have cuddlers where you go in for an hour or 2 to hold babies
Museums
Library
Art class
Jewelry making class
Shooting range
Movies
Plays
Sports events...my college has a ladies camp I attend every year...fun!
Yoga/pilates
Spa day
work related conference
Flea market
Meet ups

I meet people all the time doing these things...doesn't always result in making new friends but I enjoy being around people

As someone said the possibilities are endless

And that's a wrap! You just shut this thread down!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I have a list to work from!

 

[**SaSSy**]

What can people do when they can't afford all of these bobbies that require money?

 

[Jmartjrmd]

Just search your city for free stuff. There are a lot of free or lower cost things to do you just have to search.
I'll use los angeles for example. I enjoy dancing even though I'm a terrible dancer so I searched free hiphop dance classes . Los Angeles. Found a few free classes.
Lots of art exhibits are free.
I have fiends with gym memberships that get me in a class free or for very little on buddy passes..although I have a gym membership now.
Other than that just look for deals.
Travel deals are everywhere.

What can people do when they can't afford all of these bobbies that require money?