Get a relaxer or do 5 more years?

[silenttullip]

I'm really itching to relax BUT I have some breakage I think due to TX heat and hard water with shower filter and I have a sensitive scalp. I'm planning on APL by December but I want to relax because when I did I didn't have this breakage, my hair didn't feel thin, and I could do so many styles. I want to start bunning but all I know how to do with my natural hair is braid and twists. Do you all think I should just "heat train" by flat ironing or blow drying every 2 weeks or should I just relax? I've seen so many people go from natural to relaxed and regret it but I've also seen some stay natural and struggle. I've been natural 5 years like I promised myself and I'd love a nice long pony or twistout but this is such a struggle. What do you think?

 

[LadyRaider]

You have to decide what YOU want. All your options are viable. you've been natural long enough to know if that is what you like.

 

[ms.blue]

Honestly this is a decision that you have to make on your own. You have to weigh the pro and cons of relaxing or remaining natural. Hopefully you will make the decision that is right for you.

 

[Kurli-Q]

I agree with the posters above; you have to do what you think will be best for your hair.

One note is that I have a sensitive scalp too. Relaxers just made it worse.

 

[bride91501]

I'm sure the OP knows that ultimately it's her decision, but I *think* she wants to know what we would do if it was our hair with the facts she presented (OP please direct me to take a seat if I'm wrong lol).

If it was me, I'd try to let go of som e of theemotion behind the decision, and examine it from a very clinical perspective, starting with a review of the reasons you named:

1. "I'm itching to relax"- sounds like if all things were neutralized, this would be your preference. Something to think about.

2. "I have a sensitive scalp"- like Kurly Q said, I think this is something you need to seriously consider before you relax. I can't imagine relaxers would do anything besides exacerbate this problem.

3. "I think [my breakage is] due to TX heat and hard water"- you should probably find out exactly why the breakage is occuring before you relax so that you don't bring old issues into a new situation. Maybe start with washing your hair with distilled water, and see if that makes a difference in breakage.

4. "I want to start bunning but all I know how to do with my natural hair is braids and twists"- It is possible to bun with twists and braids, right? When I'm lucky enough to have hair your length, that will my protective style of choice....my hair is WAY too thick to bun loosely, I can't even imagine it. But I digress..... you can teach yourself (via YT, hair boards, blogs, etc.) how to style your hair better. Maybe this would be enough to make you wanna stay natural longer.

My opinion? I think you should address these issues for a few months first and if there's no improvement, or if you're still "itching" to relax, then you should just go ahead and do it.

 

[Curlybeauty]

In my opinion, I think its healthier to relax and use less manipulation to keep the hair straight, do more styles,etc. With the least amount of effort possible than start heat training the hair. But then again, this is coming from a natural who relaxed this yr and is loving it.

Hope you find a solution.

 

[steffiejoe]

Like others have said you have to do what's best for your hair. If it were me I would never go back to relaxing. My transition was not that smooth. I have fallen in luv with my natural hair and have had a nightmare about relaxing my hair again.I hear people say its just hair, but for me its more then just hair. This journey has changed my outlook on more then just my hair. I have begun to incorporate an overall healthier lifestyle. Getting away from relaxers has lead me think twice before eating certain foods(no more red meat) , using artificial sweeteners, and other products in general.
I feel very passionate about my natural hair.

The bottom line is if you no longer desire natural hair then , do you.

 

[Sugar]

If you make the decision to do it I would say to texlax.

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

depends on why you went natural in the first place as well. if one of the reasons is because you like the look, then maybe texlaxing would be best because you'd be able to retain some curliness while also being able to straighten easily. heat training would be good as well (there are different degrees of heat training and some women are able to retain some texture- even if you do it to the point where you have no more texture, you would still get some poofiness which imo looks pretty in ponytails etc.- longhairdon'tcare wore some thick ponytails n her vids and they were gorgeous). either way you really do have to figure out what the breakage is about because if you don't, you might just continue to see more breakage even if you texlax etc.

 

[aa9746]

I'm really itching to relax BUT I have some breakage I think due to TX heat and hard water with shower filter and I have a sensitive scalp. I'm planning on APL by December but I want to relax because when I did I didn't have this breakage, my hair didn't feel thin, and I could do so many styles. I want to start bunning but all I know how to do with my natural hair is braid and twists. Do you all think I should just "heat train" by flat ironing or blow drying every 2 weeks or should I just relax? I've seen so many people go from natural to relaxed and regret it but I've also seen some stay natural and struggle. I've been natural 5 years like I promised myself and I'd love a nice long pony or twistout but this is such a struggle. What do you think?

I've been tempted with relaxers but I have scalp issues. I basically wore wigs and took care of my hair and scalp underneath and that got me from above shoulder to apl (bottom layer) in less than a year. I'm about an inch away from bsl so I hope to be there by December.

 

[newbeginnings2010]

I have a sensitive scalp as well. The one thing that sealed my decision about transitioning was that my scalp problems cleared up when I gave up relaxers. I FINALLY don't have to constantly worry about my snowy, itchy scalp. I think that YOUR health is more important than your hair's health. If I were in your shoes, I would try straightening my hair every 3 - 6 months or so to make sure that's what you really want. It'll give you the satisfaction of having your hair straight for a little while without the permanent results. HTH and make sure that the decision is YOURS alone and not the result of advice that others (including me) give you. Good luck!

 

[Tiye]

I vote for heat training. I used to texlax long before there was such a term I think and that wasn't the best option for me because I have hair that's very resistant to relaxers. So for me it was the same having as a relaxer. Touchups were hard and so was maintenance. OTOH with heat training my hair is still natural and is maintained as such. It's in very good condition and I think heat treatments are relaxing. Besides you only have to use heat every two weeks during the part where you train the entire length of your hair and for me that took about two months. After that you can cut back to once/month or even longer - it just depends on your personal preference.

 

[silenttullip]

Thanks for such a detailed explanation, and yes you're exactly right I just wanted the whole "if it was me" thing. I trust you ladies opinions so I really appreciate reading different sides, alternatives, and ideas.

I'm sure the OP knows that ultimately it's her decision, but I *think* she wants to know what we would do if it was our hair with the facts she presented (OP please direct me to take a seat if I'm wrong lol).

If it was me, I'd try to let go of som e of theemotion behind the decision, and examine it from a very clinical perspective, starting with a review of the reasons you named:

1. "I'm itching to relax"- sounds like if all things were neutralized, this would be your preference. Something to think about.

2. "I have a sensitive scalp"- like Kurly Q said, I think this is something you need to seriously consider before you relax. I can't imagine relaxers would do anything besides exacerbate this problem.

3. "I think [my breakage is] due to TX heat and hard water"- you should probably find out exactly why the breakage is occuring before you relax so that you don't bring old issues into a new situation. Maybe start with washing your hair with distilled water, and see if that makes a difference in breakage.

4. "I want to start bunning but all I know how to do with my natural hair is braids and twists"- It is possible to bun with twists and braids, right? When I'm lucky enough to have hair your length, that will my protective style of choice....my hair is WAY too thick to bun loosely, I can't even imagine it. But I digress..... you can teach yourself (via YT, hair boards, blogs, etc.) how to style your hair better. Maybe this would be enough to make you wanna stay natural longer.

My opinion? I think you should address these issues for a few months first and if there's no improvement, or if you're still "itching" to relax, then you should just go ahead and do it.

 

[silenttullip]

Thanks so much, I've been doing what you're talking about and seeing your siggy pic really helps motivate me to continue. The reason I went natural was due to the scalp so I'd hate to relax and make them as bad as they were. Thanks so much

I've been tempted with relaxers but I have scalp issues. I basically wore wigs and took care of my hair and scalp underneath and that got me from above shoulder to apl (bottom layer) in less than a year. I'm about an inch away from bsl so I hope to be there by December.

 

[mstar]

BKT is another option...I think it's truly the best of both worlds (much more so than a texlax.) For me and many others, it has removed all of the struggles of being natural, while also giving us the option to wear straight hair if we want. And breakage/tangles/knots/scalp issues are a thing of the past.

 

[Bnster]

After 5 years of going natural I think you should keep going, just be more determine to figure out how to style your hair to your liking. I would suggest BKT but unsure with the amount of heat required and if it would damage your curl patterns. There are so many more styling option available when you have natural hair. Good luck in whatever you decide! Comments coming from a relaxed head.

 

[dancinstallion]

I think you should use a new era relaxer (ph6). It doesn't have the same ingredients as a lye or no lye relaxer(ph10-13). It loosens your curl pattern but you hair still has texture. That is truly the best of both words. That way you can also flat iron if you want your hair bone straight.
I went from traditional relaxer to natural for 2 years and I just couldn't do it anymore. But I didn't want to go back to regular relaxers because my hair is resistant to relaxers so it always looked puffy. So I had to find an alternative. Just remember why you stopped relaxing and think about if you want to go back to that. Since you are already natural I would think to do something that would keep you close to being natural without the harsh chemicals.

I think you should consider these is this order.
1. new era relaxer
2. heat train

 

[DDTexlaxed]

You can do a bun with natural hair. There are threads all over on the board and you can also find them on You tube. I know for myself that I desire a natural bun. I just have to wait until my relaxer grows out. I think it will take me 12-15 months to do it. having a relaxer in an area with hard water bring many challenges in itself, especially if you have a sensitive scalp. I am ending my relaxing because I have a sensitive scalp. I believe I can use heat to successfully straiten my hair from now on.

 

[BostonMaria]

If you're not retaining length and you want a change I think you should get a relaxer. I think you have enough information on this website to relax and reach the hair goals you desire.

If you change your mind and regret your decision, at least you know how to transition back to natural.

 

[Solitude]

I'm not sure what you should do, but being heat-trained only is going to be kind of hard due to the humidity here in Texas. If you want to wear your hair straight often, then relaxing might be the better choice.