kurlybella
Well-Known Member
when i see threads from ladies about cheating men and such, i always try to give the advice that i would have wanted someone to give me had i been going through the same thing.
i just wanted to say that i understand it's hard at times to leave the one thing you KNOW is no good for you. i think love and heartbreak is a rite of passage in life.
i've been there dealing with no good men and remembered how i tried to rationalized their behaviors or ignore the truth of what they really were.
is he doing this because he can't express his emotions? is he doing this because he is shy? blah blah blah
the timing thread made think about this also. i completely disagree on the timing. i KNOW love - i've also been in a great relationship -- and when a man loves you, there AIN'T NOTHING he won't do for you - NOTHING. and it does not matter what time you come into his life. don't believe me? go ask your father if he was a good man in your life or your brothers or uncles who always treated you like a princess. when a man wants you, he will climb mountains...just go in the good relationship thread where the ladies talk about men driving hours on end just to put roses on her front step. stop rationalizing what's not really there.
when someone shows you who they are BELIEVE THEM!
this thread is for those ladies that no longer take crap, not even 1 drop of it, and for those ladies that want to get there, because you will. one day it will all snap into place for you. i know because it did for me as well.
i no longer take crap from a man at all. i just don't play. as i've gotten older, i truly understand that even though love takes work and compromise, overall it does not HURT and cause ANGER, and cause you to have to wonder who he's cheating with amongst other things. all natural complications that will arise aside, it's really easy and good and is full of laughs, hugs, long phone calls and endearing emotions. and when you have something good, it's easier to get through the hard times that will come along because both of your ultimate goals in everything to make the OTHER HAPPY.
i think so often we deal with crap that when the real deal comes along it can be surprising because we are so used to love being exhausting. but in all honesty it should not be.
i've finally gotten to the point where i just don't take crap anymore. if you lie to me about something big and bold face cover it up, you're out. if you cheat on me, you will be dumped. if i were to ever have to deal with anything less than being treated as a priority in your life, you're out. i'll never be an option in any man's life. everybody is different, but you HAVE to know what you will put up with. if you don't, you'll be taken for a ride.
i now weed out loosers at lightening speed and don't see past the red flags i used to ignore. i don't ignore it when he never makes time for me and i have to ask to be taken out, when he claims he's working all the time, when he only wants to work during the day and club at night, when he's never romantic even though he know i need romance, when he does anything selfish or is careless when it comes to my emotions.
i think because now i KNOW what i'm looking for, instead of being blind to him passing me by, i'm now blinded to the loosers instead.
we've all been silly, stupid, crazy or whatever you want to call it. but the important part about that is that you grow and in your womanhood stop being that silly woman. in your confidence, you will know that you deserve only the best because you give out only the best.
even keisha said it: you NEED to GET if HE DON'T WANT TO love you THE RIGHT WAY HE AIN'T GOING TO
sometimes the truth hurts, but no one deserves half assed love.
fool me once...
it should be something to live by.
i just wanted to say that i understand it's hard at times to leave the one thing you KNOW is no good for you. i think love and heartbreak is a rite of passage in life.
i've been there dealing with no good men and remembered how i tried to rationalized their behaviors or ignore the truth of what they really were.
is he doing this because he can't express his emotions? is he doing this because he is shy? blah blah blah
the timing thread made think about this also. i completely disagree on the timing. i KNOW love - i've also been in a great relationship -- and when a man loves you, there AIN'T NOTHING he won't do for you - NOTHING. and it does not matter what time you come into his life. don't believe me? go ask your father if he was a good man in your life or your brothers or uncles who always treated you like a princess. when a man wants you, he will climb mountains...just go in the good relationship thread where the ladies talk about men driving hours on end just to put roses on her front step. stop rationalizing what's not really there.
when someone shows you who they are BELIEVE THEM!
this thread is for those ladies that no longer take crap, not even 1 drop of it, and for those ladies that want to get there, because you will. one day it will all snap into place for you. i know because it did for me as well.
i no longer take crap from a man at all. i just don't play. as i've gotten older, i truly understand that even though love takes work and compromise, overall it does not HURT and cause ANGER, and cause you to have to wonder who he's cheating with amongst other things. all natural complications that will arise aside, it's really easy and good and is full of laughs, hugs, long phone calls and endearing emotions. and when you have something good, it's easier to get through the hard times that will come along because both of your ultimate goals in everything to make the OTHER HAPPY.
i think so often we deal with crap that when the real deal comes along it can be surprising because we are so used to love being exhausting. but in all honesty it should not be.
i've finally gotten to the point where i just don't take crap anymore. if you lie to me about something big and bold face cover it up, you're out. if you cheat on me, you will be dumped. if i were to ever have to deal with anything less than being treated as a priority in your life, you're out. i'll never be an option in any man's life. everybody is different, but you HAVE to know what you will put up with. if you don't, you'll be taken for a ride.
i now weed out loosers at lightening speed and don't see past the red flags i used to ignore. i don't ignore it when he never makes time for me and i have to ask to be taken out, when he claims he's working all the time, when he only wants to work during the day and club at night, when he's never romantic even though he know i need romance, when he does anything selfish or is careless when it comes to my emotions.
i think because now i KNOW what i'm looking for, instead of being blind to him passing me by, i'm now blinded to the loosers instead.
we've all been silly, stupid, crazy or whatever you want to call it. but the important part about that is that you grow and in your womanhood stop being that silly woman. in your confidence, you will know that you deserve only the best because you give out only the best.
even keisha said it: you NEED to GET if HE DON'T WANT TO love you THE RIGHT WAY HE AIN'T GOING TO
sometimes the truth hurts, but no one deserves half assed love.
fool me once...
it should be something to live by.
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truth hurts, But thank you I know I needed to hear that. This brother that i've been dealing with has totally been treating me as an option texting all the time can't seem to call hasn't taken me out in 3 weeks. But has found the time to hang out with his best bud who is his roommate. Yeah i've been giving him the cold shoulder and i've already erased his phone number out of my phone. Sorry just ranting. I really did like him we were set up through a mutual friend. He constantly tells me he misses me and I expressed to him how I wish we could've talked more the prevoius week and he apologised and was like i'll make it up. I got nothing i'm so put off because he's not a bad guy he justs a little off
I just cant see trying to make a man want me. I love me too much for that mess.
That means "Negro I'm sooo sick of you and I wish you would move on already" !!! 
erplexed) I am so through with this fool. I can't begin to tell you. The man is very smart handsome with so much potential so I wasn't looking at the reality, the here and now. Never again. I want a relationship we can grow together in, but show me you have a stable foundation and that you not all talk.
