Falling for a man in another country.....

[Kinkyhairlady]

I've been talking to this guy in Haiti for the past year and recently started talking to him on a serious relationship level. I am friends with his younger brother who lives here and who introduce us to each other. The more I talk to him the more I am starting to have feelings for him. The problem is of course that he lives in Haiti and I live here in the U.S. I have no intentions of going to Haiti anytime soon either due to the violence I see going on over there. He does not have a visa so he can not visit. We chat via video cam every night and he is literally everything I am looking for in a man except he is over there( there always seems to be a barrier). I have been praying God for a good man but I am getting very confused because, here I have this guy who I adore without ever physically meeting him but we can't really be together cause we live so far apart. Has anyone been in this situation and if so what did you do. I know the easy thing is to go to Haiti but I really do not know anything about Haiti and quite frankly I would be very afraid going alone since I don't have any family there now. It just seems like to much for me and I am not sure if it is worth it. I really don't know what to do.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

i haven't been in your situation but my question is, why can't he take the necessary steps and come here?... is there some reason that he can't at all or is it just a process that he hasn't undertaken?

 

[Xavier]

Where does he live in Haiti?

Is he working on getting his visa?

Why is his brother able to be in the US and he has not made the move?

Is he able to get a passport so that he can come and see you?

This must be very tough for you. I can't image caring so much for someone and not being able to be close to them.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

His mother and brother were granted residency to come two years ago, they filed years ago but as you know getting to come to America is not an easy process. By the time they granted the mother residency (green card) he was over 21 and could not come, there is some rule over there about that. His brother was exactly 20 and was able to come with is mother. His mother has filed for him but because she is not yet a citizen it will take another five or more years for him to come here. He went to the embassy last year to file for a visa, but you have to have a certain amount of money in the bank for them to even consider you. They want to know if they grant you a visa that you will come back because you have that money in there I guess. Well he did not have enough and was denied. He is a lawyer over there and owns an internet cafe so he has his little business going but would leave all that to come to the U.S in a second. I know people who have had boyfriends in Haiti and go over there and marry them and file for them but I don't want to put myself in such a position. I want to know him better like hang out with him and really get to know him before I would marry him. I think that is the worse way to go for someone to come in the country, it usually does not turn out right.

 

[Lucie]

I am sorry honey. I know it can be rough. However, since he can't come to you why can't you go to him? I went to Haiti in 2006 & 2007 and I was fine. Does he live in Port-au-Prince? My family is in the south of Haiti, so we took a little jet 10 minutes from the airport to our hometown. Most of the violence is in PAP. I know it may seem scary but the key is to have someone pick you up.

Have you prayed for an answer? Good luck!

 

[Xavier]

I am sorry honey. I know it can be rough. However, since he can't come to you why can't you go to him? I went to Haiti in 2006 & 2007 and I was fine. Does he live in Port-au-Prince? My family is in the south of Haiti, so we took a little jet 10 minutes from the airport to our hometown. Most of the violence is in PAP. I know it may seem scary but the key is to have someone pick you up.

Have you prayed for an answer? Good luck!

That is why I asked where he lived. Because not all of Haiti is full of volence and poverty as portrayed by the news.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I am sorry honey. I know it can be rough. However, since he can't come to you why can't you go to him? I went to Haiti in 2006 & 2007 and I was fine. Does he live in Port-au-Prince? My family is in the south of Haiti, so we took a little jet 10 minutes from the airport to our hometown. Most of the violence is in PAP. I know it may seem scary but the key is to have someone pick you up.

Have you prayed for an answer? Good luck!

Yes he lives in Port- au- Prince in the heart of the violence. Last week he could not leave the house to go to work because Port-au- Prince was closed down due to the violence that got out of hand. I am really not trying to put myself in a dangerous position. There does not seem to be a way around this. I am praying on it and will continue to pray on it and see what happens. He is also a God fearing man and is praying on it as well.

 

[Xavier]

I am not too sure how things work in Haiti. I will try to ask some of my Haitian friends who are knowledgable on these types of things. But can he get a passport and just visit?

 

[Xavier]

Yes he lives in Port- au- Prince in the heart of the violence. Last week he could not leave the house to go to work because Port-au- Prince was closed down due to the violence that got out of hand. I am really not trying to put myself in a dangerous position. There does not seem to be a way around this. I am praying on it and will continue to pray on it and see what happens. He is also a God fearing man and is praying on it as well.

And you shouldn't. My mom is in Haiti visiting PAP as we speak. She has been there many times but I can't help but worry.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I am not too sure how things work in Haiti. I will try to ask some of my Haitian friends who are knowledgable on these types of things. But can he get a passport and just visit?

No, getting a passport to visit is impossible. Haitians try to escape and sneak into the U.S everyday, many are over here illegally. I wish it was as easy as getting a passport. U.S makes it very tough for them to come over. He wants to come the right way and not have to be in legal trouble.

 

[lucy]

And you shouldn't. My mom is in Haiti visiting PAP as we speak. She has been there many times but I can't help but worry.

Nah, you cant just visit with a passport, you need a visa in order to come into the country, even for a visit. I think the OP stated that he tried, and was denied.

OP hang in there, this is a very difficult situation that many have faced. However, without you going to visit him, there isn't much of a chance. The more times he applies for that visitors visa and gets denied, the less of a chance he has to get it. Its a catch 22

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

Nah, you cant just visit with a passport, you need a visa in order to come into the country, even for a visit. I think the OP stated that he tried, and was denied.

OP hang in there, this is a very difficult situation that many have faced. However, without you going to visit him, there isn't much of a chance. The more times he applies for that visitors visa and gets denied, the less of a chance he has to get it. Its a catch 22

Yeah I am hanging in there. Surely there must be a solution. I did not know if the more times he applies for the visa he has less of a chance if he gets denied, that is awful. I can't stand this system. I am very frustrated because there always seems to be a challenge for me in any relationship I try to pursue, why can't everything be simple at least in the beginning, these road blocks are driving me crazy.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

wow... i had no idea it was that difficult to get over here...

ok... here's an idea... is there a place that he can secure a visa to where you would feel safe meeting him?... or is it just difficult to get out of haiti period?

 

[BlkHoneyLuv2U]

Check out www.visajourney.com Great site with loads of information on the visa process. The man of my dreams lives and works in Saudi but is egyptian. Like the OP, we do the videocam voice chat everynight or day depending on our schedules but its really hard to feel this way and know theres a chance we will never meet.

We both joined this web site which has really opened our eyes to what all is involved in the process there is so much more than either of us knew. Its a forum with others who have already gone through the process or just starting out. Check it out when you have a chance. Let me know if you join then I can add you as a friend.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

wow... i had no idea it was that difficult to get over here...

ok... here's an idea... is there a place that he can secure a visa to where you would feel safe meeting him?... or is it just difficult to get out of haiti period?

I was going to ask this as well

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

Check out www.visajourney.com Great site with loads of information on the visa process. The man of my dreams lives and works in Saudi but is egyptian. Like the OP, we do the videocam voice chat everynight or day depending on our schedules but its really hard to feel this way and know theres a chance we will never meet.

We both joined this web site which has really opened our eyes to what all is involved in the process there is so much more than either of us knew. Its a forum with others who have already gone through the process or just starting out. Check it out when you have a chance. Let me know if you join then I can add you as a friend.

Oh wow, thanks for the site. I will definately check it out. I can double check to see if he can go somewhere like Martinique or Dominican Republic but even then I am scared to go alone. I am not used to traveling to foreign countries as it is so going by myself would be scary but I will look into that. Thanks

 

[SqrpioQutie]

Oh wow, thanks for the site. I will definately check it out. I can double check to see if he can go somewhere like Martinique or Dominican Republic but even then I am scared to go alone. I am not used to traveling to foreign countries as it is so going by myself would be scary but I will look into that. Thanks

if you can find a place that will work, how about seeing if his brother and mom can go too... then you're not traveling alone (i'm assuming you know the brother since that's how you met your guy) and they can have a mini family reunion...

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

if you can find a place that will work, how about seeing if his brother and mom can go too... then you're not traveling alone (i'm assuming you know the brother since that's how you met your guy) and they can have a mini family reunion...

I would not want to involve his family all into my mix. I am cool with them but I really don't want them into my business that much. I guess I would have to ask a friend to go with me but that is asking alot but maybe I can find someone willing to go to Dominican Republic. I will look into that.