blksndrlla
Well-Known Member
I have one word:
Mwedzi
Carry on...
Yes, she has beautiful hair...
I have one word:
Mwedzi
Carry on...
It's not a fact. It's a fact for you, but not for me.
My natural hair is about the same as my relaxed hair was as far as manageability goes, so that's a wash. The only issues that mean anything to me are aesthetics and my feelings about my natural hair.
Most people think it's pertinent to cut the the relaxed strands off so you can see your "true" natural hair. The purpose of this is b/c the relaxed strands stretch the natural strands. Personally, my relaxed strands didn't weigh on my hair that much. My new growth was coily so therefore my natural hair was coily. Post some new growth shots and let us see.
Ok, I just have one issue with this age old debate...it is being held on LHCF. Yes, the underlying concept is for healthier hair, but 90% of the siggies aren't dedicated to the desire of healthy hair. The desire is for longer hair.
Why does this bother me?! Long hair is aesthetically pleasing to most of us for the same reason straight hair or looser curled hair is. Now, I know someone is going to quote and say that's not them, but for a good number of people healthy hair isn't what drove you to this forum. Healthy hair and accepting what God gave you is not the reason you take biotin and msm after your daily ritual of applying mega-tek, OCT and MN on your scalp just before putting it in a bun for the 432nd day in a row. Deep down, the desire is for longer hair. Consequentially, the majority of people have figured out that you have to have some sort of health to get the length.
So, to criticize people for not liking whatever their hair type is seems kinda "the-pot-calling-the-kettle-black" to me. We have siggies that dawn our lengths like purple hearts as if they validate our hardwork and more importantly, self worth. Yet, if someone struggles with loving their hair texture "damn their self-hating selves to hell b/c they don't love themselves." That's just funny considering how much half of us hated looking at our neck length hair and wanted it to grow.
This is in no disrespect to anyone, especially not, OP. This is just something I have felt the need to say for a while now. I am on a quest for long healthy hair just like the next member...
I am still learning to love my hair texture and it is one hell of a mental transition and acting like it isn't, saying that you are above it, and looking down on others isn't going to help perpetuate this dream of self-acceptance.
*and for some people...hair is just an accessory...*
Thank you for saying that. I have some issues with my mother and sisters looking at me stupid because I wanted to go natural years ago, did go natural, and am transitioning again. My mother would ask questions like, "Well what are you gonna do with it when it is natural?" Or she'd say things like, "Well, to me, an outfit isn't complete unless your hair is 'done.' I don't think many women look 'put together' with their hair natural." I wanted to tell her how ignorant she is and sounds, but out of respect, I didn't. I was outraged. What does a freakin' outfit have to do with someone looking put together because of their hair? I mean, your statement about people not being willing to admit that they relax for reasons far deeper than style and convenience puts a giant red arrow over her head.
(Looking at me you might think that my mother is Vanessa Williams' complexion, but she is more like Taye Diggs' complexion with type 4a/b hair (from what I can tell from old 70's fro pics). I only say that because some might think from reading this that she probably has that "light-skinned girls syndrome" (where she may be more inclined to prefer European features due to ancestry)). Seems like aside from my man being Caucasian I'm more appreciative and embracing of my AFRAM culture than she is, and we "look" hardly anyting alike except for a few facial features.
I try to stay away from people like that who have silly, ignorant mindsets, and I frankly limit my conversations with them...you can't get through because they are set in their ways once they get to be that age (nearly 50) most of the time. I just roll my eyes, shake my head, and go on about my business. I don't even talk to my mother much because of her ULTRA CONSERVATIVE views on everything from politics to hair. I am truly the black sheep in my family because I have tattoos, piercings, will date any man no matter what his ethnicity or nationality (as long as he is a good fit for me, I don't discriminate), choose to embrace other nationalities and love learning about other cultures, and change my hair style more than once a year. Its very sad, but true.
She even told me once that I shouldn't change my hairstyle too much because a bank I was interviewing for might not keep me once they hired me. Might I add that changing my hair style "too much" was 3 different styles in a month. WTF? And, where the F*** did I come from since my views and attitudes are so different? I must be my paternal aunt's child, because that's the only person I am remotely similar to in my views in my entire family. I hate that I can't agree with 90% of my mothers' views, but oh well.
Yes, she has beautiful hair...
You don't look like a 4a to me...IDK.erplexed
For example, concentrate on moisture instead of trying to force your curls to pop. My hair started to look and feel dry, because I was using a bunch of gels and other products to make it look the way I thought it should look instead of accepting my natural texture. This time around I make sure my hair is moisturized and conditioned, forcing my "curls to pop" on my kinky hair is not a priority anymore. As a result, my hair looks and feels much better than before.
Ok, I just have one issue with this age old debate...it is being held on LHCF. Yes, the underlying concept is for healthier hair, but 90% of the siggies aren't dedicated to the desire of healthy hair. The desire is for longer hair.
Why does this bother me?! Long hair is aesthetically pleasing to most of us for the same reason straight hair or looser curled hair is. Now, I know someone is going to quote and say that's not them, but for a good number of people healthy hair isn't what drove you to this forum. Healthy hair and accepting what God gave you is not the reason you take biotin and msm after your daily ritual of applying mega-tek, OCT and MN on your scalp just before putting it in a bun for the 432nd day in a row. Deep down, the desire is for longer hair. Consequentially, the majority of people have figured out that you have to have some sort of health to get the length.
So, to criticize people for not liking whatever their hair type is seems kinda "the-pot-calling-the-kettle-black" to me. We have siggies that dawn our lengths like purple hearts as if they validate our hardwork and more importantly, self worth. Yet, if someone struggles with loving their hair texture "damn their self-hating selves to hell b/c they don't love themselves." That's just funny considering how much half of us hated looking at our neck length hair and wanted it to grow.
This is in no disrespect to anyone, especially not, OP. This is just something I have felt the need to say for a while now. I am on a quest for long healthy hair just like the next member...
I am still learning to love my hair texture and it is one hell of a mental transition and acting like it isn't, saying that you are above it, and looking down on others isn't going to help perpetuate this dream of self-acceptance.
*and for some people...hair is just an accessory...*
all I want is CHEMICAL FREE HEALTHY HAIR. ( that is thick lol )
I totally agree with blksndrlla and can relate to Rei's story. I hope I did not offend Ediese when I sent her a private msg about going natural. I don't have any stories about my mom saying my hair was unmanageable when I was younger. I got a relaxer when I was 14 because I was the only one in hs wearing pigtails and I wanted to look like my older sister who was allowed to wear her hair straight like the other girls. My mother told me that I was never allowed to relax but I cried everyday until my father convinced her.she said I didn't need it but she is ethiopian and does not know who to do hair AT ALL. My hair was mbl until I got to college and ruined it. I wanted to go natural because I am honestly over the relaxing process. This board has shown me that natural hair rocks and I wanna get back to my natural hair also. I complimented Ediese's beautiful hair in my msg and said I hoped mine was as beautiful as hers. But honestly I sent that same mg to a few others asking for transitioning advice also. I love my hair now but I know it would be so much thicker and healthier natural. I really hope that I did not make her think that I hate my hair or myself because I don't. When I saw this post I just felt that it was subliminally related to the msg I sent Ediese earlier this wk and now I regret it.
She also has long hair which further reinforces your point.
I agree with the OP.
This is why, imo, there's no point in having 3b hair idols when the hair on your own head is 4b. jmo.
Maybe she's confused because she thinks the pics of you with your fab hair-pieces are all your hair?Girl!! Are you the hair typing police?! lol Yes, my hair is 4a. It's mine so I should know. I hear what you're saying about type 4 not being easily manageable. I don't agree though.
Yes, but I think you missed her point. She's not questioning the *ability* of our hair to be grown long, but *why* we want long hair in the first place. Isn't long hair as "European" an ideal as loosely curled or straight hair? African hair grows up, not down. Big / tall would be the appropriate ideal if we want abundance. But then, maybe abundant hair is not even really part of our true aesthetic. Our hair is fragile and brittle - if you don't make a conscious effort to retain it, it's very easy to snap it off with daily grooming.And she serves the testament that that type of hair CAN and WILL grow very long if you take proper care of it.
Stacey London (What Not To Wear) is my hair idol - has nothing to do with hair type - just love her gray streak. Having hair idols doesn't have to mean you covet their type, it can mean you love the color, cut, etc.
I'm new to hairboards, and hair-care in general. I'd never heard of hair typing, texlaxing, stretching, transitioning, etc. Never thought about hair in a sociological/psychological way. I came on over here because I decided to do the opposite of what most women do when they turn 40 (get a short cut). Everyone told me a short cut would be too much upkeep (they know I'm not "into" hair) and growing it out from collarbone to mid-back would be easier for me than cutting it short - and my DH doesn't like super-short hair. I'm here to learn how to grow it to at least mbl in the shortest amount of time possible. I've learned so much from LHCF that I've gone from cbl to apl in 16 or 17 weeks. This place is AWESOME!
Being hair lazy is why I kept my hair cbl for 20+ years. Had nothing to do with "I don't believe my hair can grow long", etc. I only wanted it long enough for a ponytail, French Twist or 2 Dookie Braids (French Braids). Being hair lazy is why I would go 6 months to a year without relaxing or going to a salon. Being hair lazy is why I've never colored my hair or rollerset. Not once in life have I ever worried about other people's hair texture and how mine compared. The only reason I'm interested in hair types now is because it seems logical to find out what works best for hair that is similar to my own. I'm ready to grow my hair out (and leave the creamy crack alone for good) because I need a change and long hair can look pretty (to me) without much effort in styling.
With all that said, I don't think everyone's hair thoughts and decisions are deeply psychological. To some of us, it's JUST HAIR...
...stepping off my soapbox now...
OK . It sounds like you just like the look of Stacey's gray streak...and that makes her a hair idol for you. In my mind and for my purposes, a hair idol is someone whose hair I covet and whose hair represents a goal that i'd like to eventually attain. Hair idols serve different purposes for the both of us .Going off of my purpose for having a hair idol, there'd be no point in having one whose texture wasn't like mine.
I have "both types" of idols
but jennboo... do you ever find other textures to be pretty too?
A great head of hair is a great head of hair for me. Doesn't always mean that I want my own hair to look like that!
Bolded: Of course!!!
But those people aren't my hair idols, just folks with fantastic hair
Maybe she's confused because she thinks the pics of you with your fab hair-pieces are all your hair?