Ever feel like some ladies keep info to themselves or lie??

[MonaLisa]

The quickest way to see someone's eyes glaze over is to tell them that it takes time, low manipulation, regular deep conditioning, less frequent chemical processing,etc. It doesn't have to be a complicated regimen based on sun and moon alignment either. But if it won't give them BSL hair by Saturday night it can't be true.

*I'm sowry, y'all have me chuckling up in this thread...*

 

[soulie]

I have yet to ask a question either on the forum or via PM and feel that someone withheld "key" information. But this thread made me think about what would I tell someone who asked about my hair care regimen when they notice my hair growth spurt. I could tell them about co-washing, that I don't use heat, that I wear buns 95% of the time, that I baggy and I could tell them about Megatek. But would I think to explain that I started eating Weight Watchers a month before I started my hair regimen? Would I explain that I drink nearly a gallon of water each day, and eat much healthier than formerly? Would I remember to talk about the vitamins I take that aren't specifically for hair growth but probably are contributing to the health of my hair? These wouldn't be deliberate omissions, but they are just a part of my LIFE regimen - not my HAIR regimen.

 

[LongiLox]

I think very good basic hair care is generally discussed. Every now and again a JustKiya will come along and share something OUTSTANDING. For the most part, I feel that everythng is discussed here but the "How's" and the "When's" of how to best use certain products are vague.

I just run everything by my lil sis SamathaJones. She has always given me on point advice.

Oh and I use vaseline.

What's "a JustKiya"?

 

[MrsQueeny]

OK!! I can see why some women choose to keep their techniques to themselves. Some don't believe you and others think it's too much work. It's like why even bother?

Esp my family. I take the time to tell them which products to buy and give them a step by step regimen. They follow it for a little bit, get frustrated, give up and go back to their old ways. Then they either see my hair, or realize theirs is still not growing and come back to me all over again. Then get mad when I don't feel like telling them my regimen for the millionth time. I send them the link to my fotki and blog but do they take the time to read, no. They want me to hold their hand and baby them. READ DARN IT!!! Stop being lazy, using products that obviously don't work and spend money on some quality tools. Q

 

[soulie]

What's "a JustKiya"?

JustKiya is a brilliant member of LHCF.

 

[Duff]

this thread brought me out of lurk mode. I know that this does happen. BUT I do feel that the majority of the Ladies do not do this and are very helpful to everyone.

Not really... it doesn't make sense to me.

I mean, there may be a small amount of people (NUTBALLS) who would do such a thing...

but what reason would a sane woman with long hair decide to come online, pay a fee, take pictures of their hair, talk about hair all the time, devote A LOT of time to it... just to lie about what she does to her hair?

That would be a very weird, unbalanced person who would go through ALL THAT just to recommend that people use bad products

I Totally Agree with this but I know it does happen.

I totally agree...I've noticed that there are folks here that are vague and stingy with info...you ask them specific questions about things that they post and either they "don't remember" or they don't answer...ummm ok...I don't know if they feel the whole board is going to run out and buy up all of "their miracle item" or what ,or they don't want anyone looking like them ....then there are ladies here who are wonderful about sharing information. I mean I can understand holding back info from folks outside of the board b/c of some of the negativity and skepticism that one can get from someone who just doesn't get it...but on here? come on now...

.....or they give you such a so obviously vague answer that it would have been better for them not to answer.

 

[Energist]

Some of the ladies can't get here fast enough to talk about a new product that has worked wonders for their hair or has created growth, so maybe she would feel differently if she joined and read more of the threads. The ladies here are wonderful and very open about their hair experiences and techniques

Marcherie and some of the other ladies have even created sites and videos which are very helpful, so the only thing now is patience, practice, and persistence I believe.

 

[Prettyeyes]

I just had to quote this in case folx don't read through the whole thread.

EXCELLENT post. Every word.

ITA!!!!!!!!

 

[lsubabiedee]

i think it's more that people arent willing to accept that you don't have to fuss with your hair everyday to retain length. i hate telling strangers what i do to my hair because most of the time they give me a funny look. you dont have to spend a lot of money nor waste a lot of time to have a head of beautiful hair. you just have to find out what works for you, and that can be a bit time consuming and expensive at first, but give the products time to work.

people just want a miracle product.

 

[hothair]

None of this sht works for my hair. I'm beginning to think it's just a huge waste of time. I dc once or twice a week, don't use heat, wear constant ps so my hair is not out, control protein and moisture, and don't relax frequently. I have made like 10% progress. So from where I'm standing it has to be products, because nothing I do to my hair seems to make any difference.

See Lavendar's Post below

It's funny to me that people will always assume you used something "magical" to grow your hair. You tell them and they are like...huh?...there's nothing special about that! Just like some of you have described. A huge part of the process is what you are doing to your hair. It amazes me how that gets overlooked in favor of a product... I think the products I use now are fantastic, but if I had continued the same hair practices from 2.5 years ago with the same products I use now, I'd probably be near bald and blaming it on my DNA. As much as some people really want to believe there is some secret underlying LHCF magic formula that only some people are privy to, it just isn't so. Patience, persistence, and sacrifice...you gotta stop complaining about what you refuse to do....like stopping the heat and protective styling...and just do it to get where you want to be. And you can't do everything everyone else does....

'Nuff said- plus some people PM details (like me) cause most likely the link is to my fotki (which is not open for public view) so why put the details up there when I'm not going to post the password, I figure any other member that wants the answer can also PM me

 

[Lady Esquire]

Ladies here have shared that they've used chicken grease, cootch creme, and whale sperm. IMO, that is above and beyond full disclosure.

Let's not forget, we are all growing hair everyday. However, some ladies are more successful at retaining their growth, due to their better technique and maintenance. So even if you did have that magic potion, many ladies will sabotage their retention by their own hand.

The product can only do so much, it can't grow arms to gently comb, detangle, and style your hair too (which is usually when your hair breaks off).

 

[girlcherokee]

i found this board about 3 weeks ago so i am a real newby - all i know is what i have had time to read over the past 3 weeks, granted this is probablly more than i should have done, since i have barely slept thanks to this board, but my hair has improved 60%. i went from being ready to chop it all off to feeling like i could save what i have and improve it over time. hair takes time - and thats ok because the skills of patience and persistence is something that will help in all areas of life. i think the women hair are wonderful! i am so impressed with how much the sisters here care and share their experiences for the benefit of us all! i think your friend should spend a bit of time reading, and who knows, perhaps she too will be here sharing one day too! i am sure there is a flake or two around, but isnt that normal?

 

[Lucky's Mom]

It's funny to me that people will always assume you used something "magical" to grow your hair. You tell them and they are like...huh?...there's nothing special about that! Just like some of you have described. A huge part of the process is what you are doing to your hair. It amazes me how that gets overlooked in favor of a product. What you do and what you use must complement each other to guarantee success, and even those two crucial elements have to then be formulated to your specific hair type/structure. A person could have very well grown hair to their butt with vaseline cause their hair just happened to like it, but they also could have stopped coloring, stopped using direct heat, started washing more frequently, started DC'ing, stopped sleeping with nothing covering their head, started wearing protective styles, stopped cutting often or even got more frequent needed trims, learned how to balance protein/moisture, stopped relaxing so often, switched to a better relaxer, transitioned to natural, massaged the scalp, found a better way to detangle without so much breakage, found a way to wash the hair without tangling it so much, take vitamins, change diet, exercise, etc. I find the question asked is usually what do you use on your hair. I think the products I use now are fantastic, but if I had continued the same hair practices from 2.5 years ago with the same products I use now, I'd probably be near bald and blaming it on my DNA. As much as some people really want to believe there is some secret underlying LHCF magic formula that only some people are privy to, it just isn't so. Patience, persistence, and sacrifice...you gotta stop complaining about what you refuse to do....like stopping the heat and protective styling...and just do it to get where you want to be. And you can't do everything everyone else does....I can't stretch beyond 10 weeks, I can't go 6 months without trimming, I can't use the 50 bazillon products that are hyped on a daily basis cause my hair is just too fragile. You can ask every tailbone-haired girl you see what she uses on her hair, but until you dig down deep and sacrifice some of your daily cuteness with some grandma buns to achieve some long-term gain, you may not ever see your true potential. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can ask what someone is doing to grow their hair, but if you are asking someone in passing what they did to grow long hair, and you understand there is really no magic formula, how likely is it that they are going to give you the key to growing YOUR hair long and healthy???? You can only find that here in a forum like this, with knowledge, common sense, patience, persistence, through trial and error, through tears and finally triumph. Oops! Did I get OT, do I sound like somebody's momma now? Whatever....y'all know I love my LHCF sistas!

Go girl. preach it.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

CenteredGirl.... Thanks!



I see things this way.
I have been on hair boards since May 2006. Wow. I am grateful for the stuff I have learned. I was doing 6 months of research BEFORE I found BHM or LHCF....But I had to learn things the hard way - unfortunately..

I have been more than open with folks about tips techniques, reviews, ideas, etc...It is all in my Fotki..... And I have been Bashed for it. Over and Over again. This is one of the main reasons I began to pull back from posting - then........ I left one forum all together.

I felt like I gave advice and info - with a bunch of knuckleheads saying something stupid everytime I made a statement.

Sadly - I must say - it has happened here too ( just about a month ago)...


So - I have pulled back on giving major advice, tutorials, My fotki info, tips or help. I know - this sounds awful.


If it works and it is AWESOME.... I may Or MAY NOT share the info.
It that nasty???? Maybe. I just know that I have posted info or advice to be bashed, and that is not a nice feeling...... Tired of the Drama.

Sorry ladies. I love this community - but the doe doe birds give me a headache.

ETA: people in the real world??? I give them constant advice and they always ask me questions.

 

[CenteredGirl]

What's "a JustKiya"?

JustKiya is a member of this board.

 

[CenteredGirl]

Shoot I do too!!! Did you see my thread I made the other day??

Gurl Please. I was ALL over it. http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=266567

 

[CenteredGirl]

CenteredGirl.... Thanks!



I see things this way.
I have been on hair boards since May 2006. Wow. I am grateful for the stuff I have learned. I was doing 6 months of research BEFORE I found BHM or LHCF....But I had to learn things the hard way - unfortunately..

I have been more than open with folks about tips techniques, reviews, ideas, etc...It is all in my Fotki..... And I have been Bashed for it. Over and Over again. This is one of the main reasons I began to pull back from posting - then........ I left one forum all together.

I felt like I gave advice and info - with a bunch of knuckleheads saying something stupid everytime I made a statement.

Sadly - I must say - it has happened here too ( just about a month ago)...


So - I have pulled back on giving major advice, tutorials, My fotki info, tips or help. I know - this sounds awful.


If it works and it is AWESOME.... I may Or MAY NOT share the info.
It that nasty???? Maybe. I just know that I have posted info or advice to be bashed, and that is not a nice feeling...... Tired of the Drama.

Sorry ladies. I love this community - but the doe doe birds give me a headache.

Well you SAVED my hair. My daily regime is to check "all posts by SamanthaJones". The fact that you reached out made a HUGE difference in my hair. I don't know if I could have done it without you Sam.
Thank goodness for pm's

 

[CenteredGirl]

It's funny to me that people will always assume you used something "magical" to grow your hair. You tell them and they are like...huh?...there's nothing special about that! Just like some of you have described. A huge part of the process is what you are doing to your hair. It amazes me how that gets overlooked in favor of a product. What you do and what you use must complement each other to guarantee success, and even those two crucial elements have to then be formulated to your specific hair type/structure. A person could have very well grown hair to their butt with vaseline cause their hair just happened to like it, but they also could have stopped coloring, stopped using direct heat, started washing more frequently, started DC'ing, stopped sleeping with nothing covering their head, started wearing protective styles, stopped cutting often or even got more frequent needed trims, learned how to balance protein/moisture, stopped relaxing so often, switched to a better relaxer, transitioned to natural, massaged the scalp, found a better way to detangle without so much breakage, found a way to wash the hair without tangling it so much, take vitamins, change diet, exercise, etc. I find the question asked is usually what do you use on your hair. I think the products I use now are fantastic, but if I had continued the same hair practices from 2.5 years ago with the same products I use now, I'd probably be near bald and blaming it on my DNA. As much as some people really want to believe there is some secret underlying LHCF magic formula that only some people are privy to, it just isn't so. Patience, persistence, and sacrifice...you gotta stop complaining about what you refuse to do....like stopping the heat and protective styling...and just do it to get where you want to be. And you can't do everything everyone else does....I can't stretch beyond 10 weeks, I can't go 6 months without trimming, I can't use the 50 bazillon products that are hyped on a daily basis cause my hair is just too fragile. You can ask every tailbone-haired girl you see what she uses on her hair, but until you dig down deep and sacrifice some of your daily cuteness with some grandma buns to achieve some long-term gain, you may not ever see your true potential. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can ask what someone is doing to grow their hair, but if you are asking someone in passing what they did to grow long hair, and you understand there is really no magic formula, how likely is it that they are going to give you the key to growing YOUR hair long and healthy???? You can only find that here in a forum like this, with knowledge, common sense, patience, persistence, through trial and error, through tears and finally triumph. Oops! Did I get OT, do I sound like somebody's momma now? Whatever....y'all know I love my LHCF sistas!

You are so ON POINT it's scurry. By the way, last count for "thanks" on this comment alone was 60.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Well you SAVED my hair. My daily regime is to check "all posts by SamanthaJones". The fact that you reached out made a HUGE difference in my hair. I don't know if I could have done it without you Sam.
Thank goodness for pm's

Thanks sis.
SMOOCHES!

 

[Blessed_Angel]

Not really... it doesn't make sense to me.

I mean, there may be a small amount of people (NUTBALLS) who would do such a thing...

but what reason would a sane woman with long hair decide to come online, pay a fee, take pictures of their hair, talk about hair all the time, devote A LOT of time to it... just to lie about what she does to her hair?

That would be a very weird, unbalanced person who would go through ALL THAT just to recommend that people use bad products

You have a good point Neith, but also I understand what OP is saying. We know that some people do do all of that and lie about it. Some people just wanna show off what they know a majority of Black women wants to achieve. And there are some who really want to help others achieve the success that they have. I don't know which one is more common than the other; but I wish the show-offs would just disappear. Why show your success if you don't want to help others. That should be the reason behind allowing people to see hair pics and progress; not to say "hey, look what I got. Sorry, can't help you get that".

And as for hair growth, would growth aides really work for one and not the other? I could understand hair products, but not growth aides.

 

[tocktick]

it's easy to say, "oh that regimen is easy. if they were really doing that, we'd all have long hair!", but that's wrong. many people don't know what they have to do is simple and then there's the common case of one thing not being universal. if some people were on my simple reggie, their hair would be breaking and dry yet it works for me. i may not state what i do unless asked but i willingly give up the info if someone wants it.

however, even if someone is withholding info, the board is probably already aware of the technique/product. there is enough info here for someone's hair health and growth to not be dependent on a couple of people not dishing out info. if you pm someone and they ignore you, there are so many threads one could look at in order to devise their own reggie. or they can truly believe they're doomed and play the blame game at the risk of their hair not prospering.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

it's easy to say, "oh that regimen is easy. if they were really doing that, we'd all have long hair!", but that's wrong. many people don't know what they have to do is simple and then there's the common case of one thing not being universal. if some people were on my simple reggie, their hair would be breaking and dry yet it works for me. i may not state what i do unless asked but i willingly give up the info if someone wants it.

however, even if someone is withholding info, the board is probably already aware of the technique/product. there is enough info here for someone's hair health and growth to not be dependent on a couple of people not dishing out info. if you pm someone and they ignore you, there are so many threads one could look at in order to devise their own reggie. or they can truly believe they're doomed and play the blame game at the risk of their hair not prospering.

Very true.

 

[facets]

It's funny to me that people will always assume you used something "magical" to grow your hair. You tell them and they are like...huh?...there's nothing special about that! Just like some of you have described. A huge part of the process is what you are doing to your hair. It amazes me how that gets overlooked in favor of a product. What you do and what you use must complement each other to guarantee success, and even those two crucial elements have to then be formulated to your specific hair type/structure. A person could have very well grown hair to their butt with vaseline cause their hair just happened to like it, but they also could have stopped coloring, stopped using direct heat, started washing more frequently, started DC'ing, stopped sleeping with nothing covering their head, started wearing protective styles, stopped cutting often or even got more frequent needed trims, learned how to balance protein/moisture, stopped relaxing so often, switched to a better relaxer, transitioned to natural, massaged the scalp, found a better way to detangle without so much breakage, found a way to wash the hair without tangling it so much, take vitamins, change diet, exercise, etc. I find the question asked is usually what do you use on your hair. I think the products I use now are fantastic, but if I had continued the same hair practices from 2.5 years ago with the same products I use now, I'd probably be near bald and blaming it on my DNA. As much as some people really want to believe there is some secret underlying LHCF magic formula that only some people are privy to, it just isn't so. Patience, persistence, and sacrifice...you gotta stop complaining about what you refuse to do....like stopping the heat and protective styling...and just do it to get where you want to be. And you can't do everything everyone else does....I can't stretch beyond 10 weeks, I can't go 6 months without trimming, I can't use the 50 bazillon products that are hyped on a daily basis cause my hair is just too fragile. You can ask every tailbone-haired girl you see what she uses on her hair, but until you dig down deep and sacrifice some of your daily cuteness with some grandma buns to achieve some long-term gain, you may not ever see your true potential. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can ask what someone is doing to grow their hair, but if you are asking someone in passing what they did to grow long hair, and you understand there is really no magic formula, how likely is it that they are going to give you the key to growing YOUR hair long and healthy???? You can only find that here in a forum like this, with knowledge, common sense, patience, persistence, through trial and error, through tears and finally triumph. Oops! Did I get OT, do I sound like somebody's momma now? Whatever....y'all know I love my LHCF sistas!

Excellent post!

 

[Brownie518]

Some ladies maybe keep stuff to themselves but I think for the most part members are willing to share.
All my inspirations have very detailed fotki's and are more then willing to share their reggie.s and pictures during their different stages of growing out.
I think the biggest secret on LHCF is called patience

This is so true!! And that's the killer. It might take one rough night to tear up that head but we all know it can take a looooong time to recover. Things got a lot better with my hair once I accepted that.

 

[SandySea]

I'm sure some people do hide their hair secrets, but some really don't have any. Two of my closest friends have drool-worthy waist-length hair. One did nothing to it but wear bun everyday--protective styling in LHCF terms. The other fries, dyes, and blowdries her hair. She has gorgeous hair that grows like a weed and does not know the first thing about haircare. You should have seen her excitement over motions moisture plus.

 

[ScarletPhoenix]

I believe that because it doesn't work for everyone people are more apt to think that that person is lying. Would you believe me if I told you that by doing nothing to my hair it went from ab out 2" long to shoulder length in a yeawr. Probably not, but honestly I don't do much to my hair. The girl could have very well been telling you the truth in high school but because it wasn't some miracle drug, probably wouldn't work for most people...we are more apt to believe someone is lying when they very well could be telling the truth.

 

[Lavendar]

And as for hair growth, would growth aides really work for one and not the other? I could understand hair products, but not growth aides.

Absolutely!!!! Growth aides have the same affect as hair products. For some people they work, for some people they don't, for other people they are hair disaster. Again, if there were miracle products we'd all be tailbone length by now. If all these growth aides really gave everyone super growth rates we'd all be TBL by now. Obviously, the term "growth aide" is relative. Just to give you a personal example, I tried the sulfur-based growth aides that everyone raved about. I was still a newbie and of course I needed a good growth aide. Well I noticed my growth did increase. I was happy, happy. But 2 weeks later a whole track of hair where I had applied the growth aide just broke off, about an inch from the root. That track happened to be right in the center of my head so I looked like a mogwai from the Gremlins.

Sometimes we give other people way too much power over our situations. Nobody holds the key to your success but you, even if they hold back or don't tell you the whole truth it doesn't matter. With a forum like this, so many supportive people, and so much information, you have everything you need to do the work and make it happen.

 

[ScarletPhoenix]

ITA with Lavendar....why does success have to have this whole long slew of complicated steps in order for it to be the truth. The one that that I have learned from being on this site for over a year is that simplicity does it for most people. LHCF has taught me keep it simple and have patience and it will grow.

 

[MonaLisa]

Just to give you a personal example, I tried the sulfur-based growth aides that everyone raved about. I was still a newbie and of course I needed a good growth aide. Well I noticed my growth did increase. I was happy, happy. But 2 weeks later a whole track of hair where I had applied the growth aide just broke off, about an inch from the root. That track happened to be right in the center of my head so I looked like a mogwai from the Gremlins.

 

[SmartyPants]

CenteredGirl.... Thanks!



I see things this way.
I have been on hair boards since May 2006. Wow. I am grateful for the stuff I have learned. I was doing 6 months of research BEFORE I found BHM or LHCF....But I had to learn things the hard way - unfortunately..

I have been more than open with folks about tips techniques, reviews, ideas, etc...It is all in my Fotki..... And I have been Bashed for it. Over and Over again. This is one of the main reasons I began to pull back from posting - then........ I left one forum all together.

I felt like I gave advice and info - with a bunch of knuckleheads saying something stupid everytime I made a statement.

Sadly - I must say - it has happened here too ( just about a month ago)...


So - I have pulled back on giving major advice, tutorials, My fotki info, tips or help. I know - this sounds awful.


If it works and it is AWESOME.... I may Or MAY NOT share the info.
It that nasty???? Maybe. I just know that I have posted info or advice to be bashed, and that is not a nice feeling...... Tired of the Drama.

Sorry ladies. I love this community - but the doe doe birds give me a headache.

ETA: people in the real world??? I give them constant advice and they always ask me questions.

Don't you dare pull back... that steam treatment alone is working wonders on my hair!!!