Ever feel like some ladies keep info to themselves or lie??

[CurliDiva]

I don't think most people lie or hold back on purpose, but most of us do so much to our hair (meaning our regimen may consist of protective styles, con washing, stratching, baggie, pre-poo, washing in plaits, silk scraf or pillowcase, vitamins, groth aides, etc.) that a simple question like "WHAT ONE PRODUCT DO YOU USE TO MAKE YOUR HAIR GROW" can throw us for a loop.

IMO, Hair growth is not just because of a products but about what we do and don't do (excessive heat, rubber bands, heavy greases) to our scalp, strands and body in general.

 

[myco]

Everything Lavendar said!

A lot of times people are only listening for code words when they ask you questions. They want to hear 10 inches in 2 weeks while flat-ironing 3x per day. If they don't hear that, then you must have left something out.

The quickest way to see someone's eyes glaze over is to tell them that it takes time, low manipulation, regular deep conditioning, less frequent chemical processing,etc. It doesn't have to be a complicated regimen based on sun and moon alignment either. But if it won't give them BSL hair by Saturday night it can't be true.

 

[Arcadian]

The only magic bullet for overnight neck length to buttlength hair is a weave or a wig. Lavendar summed it up nicely.

-A

 

[myco]

I think everyone is open and upfront here but i think people do tend to hold back IRL.

For example, there is this little girl at my sons's school w/ really thick pretty BSL 4a, 4b hair. While getting ready for the spring concert her mom pull out this mystery jar and starts putting this product on he daughters hair. This was a plain white jar, no label, writing or anything. So I'm like Whats that it smells really good. She didnt answer so I asked a little louder and she pretended not to hear me. Guess she wanted to keep the secret to her self.

As a group, black women have been practicing such ineffective hair care practices that a lot of things that are actually effective are considered completely unorthodox and weird. People post all the time about being teased/questioned for washing their hair more than 1x a month. Or not getting a touch-up when they have .2 centimeters of newgrowth, or for being kitchen chemists.

I think a lot of people keep what they do to themselves because it's just easier that way. I know I get really annoyed when someone asks what I do, and then immediately turns around and turns their nose up at it because that product is not located on the "ethnic hair" aisle at Wal-mart. Not saying you would have done that, but sometimes people are apprehensive about being ridiculed for using something different.

 

[sylver2]

Everything Lavendar said!

A lot of times people are only listening for code words when they ask you questions. They want to hear 10 inches in 2 weeks while flat-ironing 3x per day. If they don't hear that, then you must have left something out.

The quickest way to see someone's eyes glaze over is to tell them that it takes time, low manipulation, regular deep conditioning, less frequent chemical processing,etc. It doesn't have to be a complicated regimen based on sun and moon alignment either. But if it won't give them BSL hair by Saturday night it can't be true.

lol..was just getting ready to post something like this.
the eyes glazing over is something i get a lot!!!
then the frustrated --'well i just don't have hairr like u, u got the good hair'

 

[nodisrespect]

None of this sht works for my hair. I'm beginning to think it's just a huge waste of time. I dc once or twice a week, don't use heat, wear constant ps so my hair is not out, control protein and moisture, and don't relax frequently. I have made like 10% progress. So from where I'm standing it has to be products, because nothing I do to my hair seems to make any difference.

 

[nodisrespect]

I totally agree...I've noticed that there are folks here that are vague and stingy with info...you ask them specific questions about things that they post and either they "don't remember" or they don't answer...

don't forget "i'll pm you the details" instead of just posting it for everyone to read

 

[audacity.]

It's funny to me that people will always assume you used something "magical" to grow your hair. You tell them and they are like...huh?...there's nothing special about that! Just like some of you have described. A huge part of the process is what you are doing to your hair. It amazes me how that gets overlooked in favor of a product. What you do and what you use must complement each other to guarantee success, and even those two crucial elements have to then be formulated to your specific hair type/structure. A person could have very well grown hair to their butt with vaseline cause their hair just happened to like it, but they also could have stopped coloring, stopped using direct heat, started washing more frequently, started DC'ing, stopped sleeping with nothing covering their head, started wearing protective styles, stopped cutting often or even got more frequent needed trims, learned how to balance protein/moisture, stopped relaxing so often, switched to a better relaxer, transitioned to natural, massaged the scalp, found a better way to detangle without so much breakage, found a way to wash the hair without tangling it so much, take vitamins, change diet, exercise, etc. I find the question asked is usually what do you use on your hair. I think the products I use now are fantastic, but if I had continued the same hair practices from 2.5 years ago with the same products I use now, I'd probably be near bald and blaming it on my DNA. As much as some people really want to believe there is some secret underlying LHCF magic formula that only some people are privy to, it just isn't so. Patience, persistence, and sacrifice...you gotta stop complaining about what you refuse to do....like stopping the heat and protective styling...and just do it to get where you want to be. And you can't do everything everyone else does....I can't stretch beyond 10 weeks, I can't go 6 months without trimming, I can't use the 50 bazillon products that are hyped on a daily basis cause my hair is just too fragile. You can ask every tailbone-haired girl you see what she uses on her hair, but until you dig down deep and sacrifice some of your daily cuteness with some grandma buns to achieve some long-term gain, you may not ever see your true potential. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can ask what someone is doing to grow their hair, but if you are asking someone in passing what they did to grow long hair, and you understand there is really no magic formula, how likely is it that they are going to give you the key to growing YOUR hair long and healthy???? You can only find that here in a forum like this, with knowledge, common sense, patience, persistence, through trial and error, through tears and finally triumph. Oops! Did I get OT, do I sound like somebody's momma now? Whatever....y'all know I love my LHCF sistas!

I just had to quote this in case folx don't read through the whole thread.

EXCELLENT post. Every word.

 

[HoneyA]

I was showing my friend this site. She admired everyone's long hair and said she would join. I showed her a couple of threads and in one thread she made a face and started laughing. (the black girls secret to long hair thread)
Me: What?
Her: You don't really believe this do you??
Me:You can tell it's her hair!
Her: No not that. But c'mon! Vaseline?! 90% of black girls would have long hair, if that was the case!!! You know good and well if there was a product out there that grew hair LONG, that broad would keep it to herself!!!

We discussed it some more and I started thinking. Real hard. You know how someone tells you a product grew their hair and you try it, but It does NOTHING for your hair??
I trust LHCF though. I have gained soooo much valuable information. My hair is in the best condition ever!!
It did make me wonder though. Reminded me of when I saw a girl in senior yr of HS. At the end of Junior year, her hair was neck length and very damaged. Beg. of senior yr, her hair is almost to her butt and soooo shiny! I asked her what she put in her hair; she smiled, said nothing, she just washes and conditions and she uses African Pride grease. Yeah okay Chick!

BTW this is a nice thread okay!! I'm not intending to start no e-drama kay??

When I was transitioning in high school, I used African Pride and got some SERIOUS growth and it was quick too. I was all natural in no time. Good reminder. I need to pick some up!
Re: the rest of the post, I have never got the idea that LHCF members with healthy hair ever keep info to themselves. To me they are quite generous with tips and even tutorials about methods which worked for them. I would think though that IRL, women with long healthy hair would be less inclined to go into detail about worked for them especially if they don't know you that well or are just some random woman paying a compliment.

 

[MrsQueeny]

I am sure there are a couple that do but I don't think that is the majority. I know it's not for me. I love seeing other women with long beautiful hair. I even encourage my family members and give them tips, even though they don't listen. The thing is no matter how much info I put out there, unless someone is willing to invest the money, time and care into their hair, they will never reach their goals. Having long, healthy hair is not just about some miracle product. It involves using the proper products, tools, techniques, developing a sound regimen, and using good hair care practices. Q

 

[honeisos]

this is a good post ...
last week i went to my friends home and did her hair.. she went from about one inch of weak broken hair and a balding spot to neck length in a year and a half ... just using very simple tips ... my sister and i gave her ..
now she really wants to see how long it will grow and learn how to keep it strong ...
I told her about this site and what she would need to do .. and she was floored about the the hard work and care it would take .. to do it .. women always tell me they love my hair and ask me what i do .. I tell them and it's like i have three heads ! lol they don't want to put in the time and work..
I try to shout it from the roof .. but sometimes it's the women who don't want to hear it lol

 

[Shimmie]

For the most part, most people don't want to share until they have proof themselves and they don't want to be responsible should someone 'suffer' due to a product or regime that works for them, but may not work for others.

I believe most of the 'Posters' here. You can tell when someone is legit or not, without suspicion. It's just 'there.'

For one thing, I never jump on anyone's bandwagon, unless I 'know' their reputation here, or I've studied the thread for a while to see other's results. That's when I activate the regime into my life.

Here's the thing. How do we know the products we see promoted in the stores, commercials, etc. are legit? I 'trust' the members here more than I trust the commercials.

At least here, you'll here what's real about a product and even when a member doesn't post pictures, I won't judge because I know how challenging and time consuming it is to do so.

I know a lot of 'doubters' who view this site and comment that it's not real, but that's because they know this site as 'we' do.

 

[charmtreese]

None of this sht works for my hair. I'm beginning to think it's just a huge waste of time. I dc once or twice a week, don't use heat, wear constant ps so my hair is not out, control protein and moisture, and don't relax frequently. I have made like 10% progress. So from where I'm standing it has to be products, because nothing I do to my hair seems to make any difference.

I agree with you, 90% is products, which means using the "right" products consistently and correctly. The rest is technique...Rollersetting vs. blowdrying vs. airdrying, all really depend on your personal styling choice and how you like for your hair to look.

In the beginning I was doing what I thought was all the right techniques. I would airdry, baggie, wash a couple of times a week, deep condition weekly, low manipulation, stretching, be gentle, be patient, massage, take vitamins, work-out, eat right and use products suggested by other members!

My hair did turn around some but not much, once I found products that worked for my hair everything else feel into place! I became the take-back and product exchange queen!

If products did not work that I purchased from trade secret or sephora after a couple of uses, then back they went!

Many of my staple products were recommendations and samples given to me by one of my white co-workers with 3a (gorgeously curly) hair. She put me onto WEN, Ojon and Jessicurl all which are current staples of mine. At the same time I put her onto, Jane Cater, Vatika oil, Shikakai, and oyin! If it was not for us sharing info we would both probably still be walking around with dried up heads. To this day when I tell my friends that a white girl saved my hair, they are in disbelief!

 

[Neroli]

I find the opposite to be true -- technique and regimen has more to do with my success than a particular product. I have been using nexxus classic line (thereppe, humectress, headress, keraphix, etc.) for over 20 years before I discovered LHCF and my hair stayed at SL for the most part until I eliminated heat, started stretching relaxers and wearing more protective styles -- I went to BSL in a few years, even tho I use the same products. Oh, I tried a bunch of other stuff, but I always come back to my BELOVED nexxus products. So the wild card in MY mix has been technique and not product. Of course if you get the right product AND good technique, that's just sublime.

I agree with you, 90% is products, which means using the "right" products consistently and correctly. The rest is technique...Rollersetting vs. blowdrying vs. airdrying, all really depend on your personal styling choice and how you like for your hair to look.

In the beginning I was doing what I thought was all the right techniques. I would airdry, baggie, wash a couple of times a week, deep condition weekly, low manipulation, stretching, be gentle, be patient, massage, take vitamins, work-out, eat right and use products suggested by other members!

My hair did turn around some but not much, once I found products that worked for my hair everything else feel into place! I became the take-back and product exchange queen!

If products did not work that I purchased from trade secret or sephora after a couple of uses, then back they went!

Many of my staple products were recommendations and samples given to me by one of my white co-workers with 3a (gorgeously curly) hair. She put me onto WEN, Ojon and Jessicurl all which are current staples of mine. At the same time I put her onto, Jane Cater, Vatika oil, Shikakai, and oyin! If it was not for us sharing info we would both probably still be walking around with dried up heads. To this day when I tell my friends that a white girl saved my hair, they are in disbelief!

Wow,

 

[ttlayli]

Thanks ladies! My friend and I continued to discuss this topic and your responses. She said after reading the comments she "got it". Esp when I reminded her about our hs "buddy" (the one I made an example out of). And when I reminded her about how she's always sticking u for me, when people swear that I lie about everything that has to do with haircare.


And just to add, in case some of yo don't know; This topic was not brought up because I FEEL that some members or people do not share their "secrets". I made this topic to see how ya'll felt, since my friend feels that way. I never thought that people would lie like it's that serious, and I really don't care if they did!

 

[Shimmie]

Some ladies maybe keep stuff to themselves but I think for the most part members are willing to share.
All my inspirations have very detailed fotki's and are more then willing to share their reggie.s and pictures during their different stages of growing out.
I think the biggest secret on LHCF is called patience

Not me.....

No, you're speaking the truth. I always want good progress results.... 'yesterday' and not a minute later.

 

[jamaraa]

After seeing how some people react to the long haired AA girl on You Tube, if longhairs choose to hold back, I can see why.

 

[Lavendar]

agree with everything except this. i refuse to do the grandma buns. i rather shag it out

It's so funny....I was thinking of you when I was typing this, especially when I was typing about using heat and buns. Truly, there is an exception to every rule....and Lord knows you are exceptional!!!!

 

[Pheonixx]

^^^
I guess I'm the only one who hasn't peeped that thread. I'ma check it out though. I did see it. But I was like, "Pass...." (lol)

I did laugh at the title, 'African American Girl with Long Hair' (or something like that).
>>smirks<<
Indeed.
What an interesting observation to be made...on a board whose members are Healthy SL, APL's and MBL's and beyond. On an online community called Long Care Hair Forum.
A long haired black girl... Really?
Where....? Somebody call Ripley's.

I hope it's not as bad as you suggest, JAMARAA.
The idea that an LHCF-er would ooh and ahh and practically FAWN all over a black girl with long hair is completely retarded.
I thought we all knew that black women could grow hair.
>>shrugs<<
Eh...

Anywho--on to the thread.
1.
As for the would-be woman who just sits up and lies or attempts to conceal because she doesn't want anyone to know her secrets...?
Does that actually happen?

LOL @ women engaging in 'hair beef/ hair competitions' on LCHF. How corny.
Well....I can't even wrap my mind around that kinda nonsense.
If ppl do it I'm sure it's unintentional.

I mean--Lord knows you don't have to pay money, spend all this time/excess energy posting on the board and build these elaborate Fotki hair albums to act like a spiteful 'you-know-what' (rhymes with witch) in the end.

Most ppl do it for free.....effortlessly.

2.
I think that there are plenty of black women who believe that there's some sort of Super-Secret Black Hair Growin Growth formula out there. LOL.
This is prolly where your friend erred.
Did she notice what else the woman did to her hair besides administer vaseline?

Of course I could be incorrect but as I see it, IMO, it's not necessarily some secret product but the level and type of maintenance involved.

Growing hair is easy, imo. I mean the bare basics of my regimen require what: A weekly wash/condition, keep the heat out and spray on my leave-in. All the other stuff (the butters and oils, the henna, the 2 hr cowashing/dc sessions and other treatments) are just extra.
USEFUL extras but still...just extras.
I'll always believe that hair grows best when you just leave it alone.

No rain-dances. No monkey's blood. No unicorn horn shavings. No Eye of Newt.
Just healthy hair care practices...and a steady hair care regimen.

 

[LadyEuphoria007]

On here I agree that pretty much everyone is helpful but IRL are you really going to be like: "Oh I apply Monistat daily on my scalp."

Maybe some of those women IRL with long hair are doing something "crazy" like that and are embarrassed to share with those outside their circle of friends.

(This isnt a dis to MN b/c I used it in the past and got results.)

 

[Br*nzeb*mbsh~ll]

Man, you nailed it!

I have really CHANGED how I care for my hair...i used to go a month without washing (sometimes 2)- and i thought that was cool - I was proud that my hair still looked fresh like i just stepped out of the salon! I wouldn't moisturize, i'd use great oils, but not real moisture, i'd always use protein as a dc (when they say you need a deep conditioner, they reach for Aphogee)...didn't know the difference, and my stylist dang sure didn't tell me - heck, SHE didn't know, not really. I found out how not to apply relaxers flat on your scalp, apply them straight up like a mohawk...mo-WHAT? No right minded stylist in Houston is applying perms (not relaxers, no one says the right terminology,really) is doing that! And I'm not going to a $20 Beauty Shop or my Girlfriends' house, either, I'm talking premium Professional salons!!!...they rip the hair out of your scalp, they are afraid when they see you come in with thick, long hair, they get anxious, like the only way to manage it is to shave it off or put it in a bob, "Girl, you got too much hair...it's so thick, I couldn't deal with that much hair..." (now I'm working my way back from thin, falling hair, thank you!)...
Lord knows i could go on and on and on....i'm doing so much better with my 8 month transition, with only 1 trim and 1 dust...losing NO hair, my hair is smoother, wavier, moister, shinier than ever...though i have a lot less of it, it is in better condition...and i know in two years, maybe one year, i'll have waistlength, gorgeously thick n healthy hair! I know it! So yeah, all things considered, it is not just one "miracle" aid...though prayer is the key, it's doing multiple things that make the difference...i can attest to that! AMEN!

It's funny to me that people will always assume you used something "magical" to grow your hair. You tell them and they are like...huh?...there's nothing special about that! Just like some of you have described. A huge part of the process is what you are doing to your hair. It amazes me how that gets overlooked in favor of a product. What you do and what you use must complement each other to guarantee success, and even those two crucial elements have to then be formulated to your specific hair type/structure. You can ask every tailbone-haired girl you see what she uses on her hair, but until you dig down deep and sacrifice some of your daily cuteness with some grandma buns to achieve some long-term gain, you may not ever see your true potential. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can ask what someone is doing to grow their hair, but if you are asking someone in passing what they did to grow long hair, and you understand there is really no magic formula, how likely is it that they are going to give you the key to growing YOUR hair long and healthy???? You can only find that here in a forum like this, with knowledge, common sense, patience, persistence, through trial and error, through tears and finally triumph. Oops! Did I get OT, do I sound like somebody's momma now? Whatever....y'all know I love my LHCF sistas!

 

[MissNina]

Not really... it doesn't make sense to me.

I mean, there may be a small amount of people (NUTBALLS) who would do such a thing...

but what reason would a sane woman with long hair decide to come online, pay a fee, take pictures of their hair, talk about hair all the time, devote A LOT of time to it... just to lie about what she does to her hair?

That would be a very weird, unbalanced person who would go through ALL THAT just to recommend that people use bad products

This is soooo true!

 

[MrsQueeny]

Let me also say IRL when I tell people what I do, I get 2 responses. I hear, "that's it", or "dang you do all that." The person that says "that's it" don't believe me and assume I am keeping something from them. The ones that say "dang you do all that" are just too lazy to at least try something different and they too are expecting some miracle product. Either way I can't win. Q

 

[neonbright]

Sometimes I think some people aren't lying, they are telling what works for me, but some maybe lying. But for myself, I tell people the truth about products I use and what works for me.

 

[bbdgirl]

It's funny to me that people will always assume you used something "magical" to grow your hair. You tell them and they are like...huh?...there's nothing special about that! Just like some of you have described. A huge part of the process is what you are doing to your hair. It amazes me how that gets overlooked in favor of a product. What you do and what you use must complement each other to guarantee success, and even those two crucial elements have to then be formulated to your specific hair type/structure. A person could have very well grown hair to their butt with vaseline cause their hair just happened to like it, but they also could have stopped coloring, stopped using direct heat, started washing more frequently, started DC'ing, stopped sleeping with nothing covering their head, started wearing protective styles, stopped cutting often or even got more frequent needed trims, learned how to balance protein/moisture, stopped relaxing so often, switched to a better relaxer, transitioned to natural, massaged the scalp, found a better way to detangle without so much breakage, found a way to wash the hair without tangling it so much, take vitamins, change diet, exercise, etc. I find the question asked is usually what do you use on your hair. I think the products I use now are fantastic, but if I had continued the same hair practices from 2.5 years ago with the same products I use now, I'd probably be near bald and blaming it on my DNA. As much as some people really want to believe there is some secret underlying LHCF magic formula that only some people are privy to, it just isn't so. Patience, persistence, and sacrifice...you gotta stop complaining about what you refuse to do....like stopping the heat and protective styling...and just do it to get where you want to be. And you can't do everything everyone else does....I can't stretch beyond 10 weeks, I can't go 6 months without trimming, I can't use the 50 bazillon products that are hyped on a daily basis cause my hair is just too fragile. You can ask every tailbone-haired girl you see what she uses on her hair, but until you dig down deep and sacrifice some of your daily cuteness with some grandma buns to achieve some long-term gain, you may not ever see your true potential. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can ask what someone is doing to grow their hair, but if you are asking someone in passing what they did to grow long hair, and you understand there is really no magic formula, how likely is it that they are going to give you the key to growing YOUR hair long and healthy???? You can only find that here in a forum like this, with knowledge, common sense, patience, persistence, through trial and error, through tears and finally triumph. Oops! Did I get OT, do I sound like somebody's momma now? Whatever....y'all know I love my LHCF sistas!

ITA...this is basically what I was thinking and you said it so succintly and comprehensively. The regimen changes are basically the only reason that I have seen my hair turn around 180 degrees in the past 9 months!!

 

[SmartyPants]

Sometimes family can be the worst offenders with this.

I have 4a/b hair. My cousin's (mom's sister's kids) have 4a hair. Their hair has always been longer and in better condition than mine. I had such hair issues that my mom would have pretty much bought anything to help me out.

When I was teenager and trying to take care of my hair (I'm the youngest grandchild), you'd think if they told me what they were doing THEIR hair would fall out. They flatly refused to tell me what they were doing to their hair. I found out about emergencee and other Nexxus products (which work wonders on my hair) because I overheard a conversation between two of my cousins about the products. One summer I went to a summer program on a college campus. My mom gave my cousin money to get her some setting lotion because she ran out of what we normally use. That ***** bought the setting lotion and mixed it in a spray bottle and gave it to my mom just so we wouldn't know what she was using (it was great setting lotion too).

I get more love and useful tips from strangers on LHCF than I do from my own family--and my hair thanks you guys for it!

 

[KEWLKAT103]

I think some are lying, but the majority are not.
I take everything I read and here regarding hair with a grain of salt.
As we all know, everybody's hair responds differently. My friend uses pink oil daily, greases her scalp with whatever, uses high heat weekly and rarely washes, yet her hair is mid back. It grows like a thick weed no matter what. If you ask her her reggie and she tells you that, you may assume with a beautiful head of hair like that, she must be lying. I could never use her reggie and attain any length, so I go with what I know to work for me.

 

[Curlee_lurker]

It's the same as weight loss or anything else that takes hard work and dedication for some and for some it comes natural.

I don't even ask anymore because I know what works for me doesn't work for everyone and I know some products listed here do nothing for me or some regimens are too time consuming for me.

 

[MizAvalon]

Let me also say IRL when I tell people what I do, I get 2 responses. I hear, "that's it", or "dang you do all that." The person that says "that's it" don't believe me and assume I am keeping something from them. The ones that say "dang you do all that" are just too lazy to at least try something different and they too are expecting some miracle product. Either way I can't win. Q

OK!! I can see why some women choose to keep their techniques to themselves. Some don't believe you and others think it's too much work. It's like why even bother?

 

[MonaLisa]

You can ask every tailbone-haired girl you see what she uses on her hair, but until you dig down deep and sacrifice some of your daily cuteness with some grandma buns to achieve some long-term gain, you may not ever see your true potential.