Ever feel like some ladies keep info to themselves or lie??

[Lucky's Mom]

Thanks Smarty - you're awesome.

 

[PuffyBrown]

I would think that though it is possible that for the most part, there is a genuine respect for each other on this site. I think that sometimes people are not being stingy with information but may be apprehensive to post for fear of being shot down or someone else jumping down their throat for something that they did to their hair. Most people are posting what works for them anyway but sometimes people have to go out of their way to explain that their regimine doesn't work for everybody and that should be a given. Just think about it, we can wear the same size clothing but look entirely different in them so why would our hair no do the same thing.

Great question.

 

[PuffyBrown]

I so agree with this.
I have learned some invaluable information here on this site. The final result is up to me. I research everything someone tells me because I know my hair and my body. I am responsible for my life and my hair and do not rely on someone else to be responsible for it. I personally thinks people have to use judgement and integrity to do things on their own for themselves. I never do something because someone else is doing it, but if I do try something someone else is doing I thank them and pass it on to the next person. A lot of us, including myself can say that if it wasn't for this site, "self" hair care would have been out of the question.

When it is all said and done, if you don LOVE YOU, then who will?

For the most part, most people don't want to share until they have proof themselves and they don't want to be responsible should someone 'suffer' due to a product or regime that works for them, but may not work for others.

I believe most of the 'Posters' here. You can tell when someone is legit or not, without suspicion. It's just 'there.'

For one thing, I never jump on anyone's bandwagon, unless I 'know' their reputation here, or I've studied the thread for a while to see other's results. That's when I activate the regime into my life.

Here's the thing. How do we know the products we see promoted in the stores, commercials, etc. are legit? I 'trust' the members here more than I trust the commercials.

At least here, you'll here what's real about a product and even when a member doesn't post pictures, I won't judge because I know how challenging and time consuming it is to do so.

I know a lot of 'doubters' who view this site and comment that it's not real, but that's because they know this site as 'we' do.

 

[PuffyBrown]

Tell it! It drives me crazy when someone thinks that they are doing something new. Hair care practices have been around for every and some of our own hair care techniques are as old as ancient egypt and africa. Another thing is that more sisters 40 years ago had longer thicker hair than women do today and they did not ever have all the hair care products that we use.

Going off topic a little, where did all this secrecy come from? Some people are so dang(md) insecure> and I hate to bring this up but sometimes AA women ( I said AA bc I'm AA and thats how I roll), but we are our own worse enemies from jealousy. Do you remember how many AA girls were always fighting one anothre and having the most drama when you were growing up..why? I see older women with this same maliciousness but I will leave that in the kiddy room where it belongs.

it's easy to say, "oh that regimen is easy. if they were really doing that, we'd all have long hair!", but that's wrong. many people don't know what they have to do is simple and then there's the common case of one thing not being universal. if some people were on my simple reggie, their hair would be breaking and dry yet it works for me. i may not state what i do unless asked but i willingly give up the info if someone wants it.

however, even if someone is withholding info, the board is probably already aware of the technique/product. there is enough info here for someone's hair health and growth to not be dependent on a couple of people not dishing out info. if you pm someone and they ignore you, there are so many threads one could look at in order to devise their own reggie. or they can truly believe they're doomed and play the blame game at the risk of their hair not prospering.

 

[illuminatiamerica]

I think everyone is open and upfront here but i think people do tend to hold back IRL.

For example, there is this little girl at my sons's school w/ really thick pretty BSL 4a, 4b hair. While getting ready for the spring concert her mom pull out this mystery jar and starts putting this product on he daughters hair. This was a plain white jar, no label, writing or anything. So I'm like Whats that it smells really good. She didnt answer so I asked a little louder and she pretended not to hear me. Guess she wanted to keep the secret to her self.

couldnt have been me... i would have asked her and got real close to her nose until she answered

 

[nappystorm]

I don't think alot of ladies lie when it comes to hair stuff but in the other sections? Yeah.

I don't get into products much because *IMO* techniques, cutting/adding practices, and like another poster said patience is 90-95% of hair retention. Hair is always growing, it's just up to us to keep it.

 

[nappystorm]

couldnt have been me... i would have asked her and got real close to her nose until she answered

No offense but I would cuss you out . How you gonna Debo somebody into sharing their hair products? Where dey do that at?

 

[lovelexi]

Well...yes some people will keep info to themselves but I would first like to say that no product grows your hair. So I doubt anyone is using some magical substance that accelerates their hair growth extraordinarily. I mean there are products containing sulfur and such but if there was a magical product that person would be rich and famous by now.
Also, I don't see why it's so hard to believe when someone with long hair says they do nothing to it to make it grow. Probably thats the key. We here all know that low manipulation and a clean scalp promotes good hair growth and retention. So yes while some people may lie I doubt the majority of long haired people have some secret that they are holding from us.

 

[illuminatiamerica]

Sometimes we give other people way too much power over our situations. Nobody holds the key to your success but you, even if they hold back or don't tell you the whole truth it doesn't matter. you have everything you need to do the work and make it happen.

thats a powerful thing 2 say

 

[Bnster]

I think sometimes people really don't know the answer either. I remember (pre LHCF) I started retaining length on my relaxed hair and I was almost at armpit length and suddenly everyone kept asking me what I was doing to my hair. I did not know what to say because I was not doing anything different (I thought then). Upon reflection I think maybe I was not trimming 1/2" off my hair every month and hence I retained length - duh! I then started going to a new scissor happy hairdresser that was giving me a new hairstyle everytime i visitied her until my hair was ear length in 3 months.

Ah sorry about that.

 

[butterfly_wings]

I think it depends on how you use the products, I see some ladies on here you vasline on thie ends after mosturising but if you tell people that you use vasline in general they will just assume you spread it all over the hair.

I don't hide information, it's not like the shops are going to run out of your recommended product if anything it would casue them to create more and better versions

 

[Glamiam]

I don't know about on here, but i can say that IRL, it seems like some women would lie or hold back their "secrets" so it seems like they just have "good genes" and that they really didn't have to do anything to achieve long hair, "cause they got that good hair".

 

[Naturel]

May be a few people my withhold info, but I think most of ladies share truthful, helpful info. However, there are main key info to hair growth people may not think is necessary to share such as lifestyle, diet, etc. Some of us here may be focused on what shampoo, conditioner to use without remembering that no amout of conditioner will fix your hair if your health is jacked with stress, bad diet, illness, etc. So internal health is very important.

 

[Lita]

*Not everything will work for everyone..If I have a bad experience with a product I share it/If I have a great experience I share it..So it depends on the person...
Try to find what works for your hair/scalp & stick with that..

*For me I notice keeping my scalp/hair/ends moisturize & not flat ironing a lot has HELPED to retain better....

*Eating Healthy has helped from the inside..

*Remember diet/health play roles also...




Happy Hair Growing!

 

[Junebug D]

It's not unheard of. On some boards (as I've recently discovered) it's pulling teeth to get someone to tell you where they get their extensions from or where they go to get their hair done.

 

[PureSilver]

It's funny to me that people will always assume you used something "magical" to grow your hair. You tell them and they are like...huh?...there's nothing special about that! Just like some of you have described. A huge part of the process is what you are doing to your hair. It amazes me how that gets overlooked in favor of a product. What you do and what you use must complement each other to guarantee success, and even those two crucial elements have to then be formulated to your specific hair type/structure. A person could have very well grown hair to their butt with vaseline cause their hair just happened to like it, but they also could have stopped coloring, stopped using direct heat, started washing more frequently, started DC'ing, stopped sleeping with nothing covering their head, started wearing protective styles, stopped cutting often or even got more frequent needed trims, learned how to balance protein/moisture, stopped relaxing so often, switched to a better relaxer, transitioned to natural, massaged the scalp, found a better way to detangle without so much breakage, found a way to wash the hair without tangling it so much, take vitamins, change diet, exercise, etc. I find the question asked is usually what do you use on your hair. I think the products I use now are fantastic, but if I had continued the same hair practices from 2.5 years ago with the same products I use now, I'd probably be near bald and blaming it on my DNA. As much as some people really want to believe there is some secret underlying LHCF magic formula that only some people are privy to, it just isn't so. Patience, persistence, and sacrifice...you gotta stop complaining about what you refuse to do....like stopping the heat and protective styling...and just do it to get where you want to be. And you can't do everything everyone else does....I can't stretch beyond 10 weeks, I can't go 6 months without trimming, I can't use the 50 bazillon products that are hyped on a daily basis cause my hair is just too fragile. You can ask every tailbone-haired girl you see what she uses on her hair, but until you dig down deep and sacrifice some of your daily cuteness with some grandma buns to achieve some long-term gain, you may not ever see your true potential. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can ask what someone is doing to grow their hair, but if you are asking someone in passing what they did to grow long hair, and you understand there is really no magic formula, how likely is it that they are going to give you the key to growing YOUR hair long and healthy???? You can only find that here in a forum like this, with knowledge, common sense, patience, persistence, through trial and error, through tears and finally triumph. Oops! Did I get OT, do I sound like somebody's momma now? Whatever....y'all know I love my LHCF sistas!

Thank you Lavendar, for that excellent post. I realise that you threw in some tips, tricks and macros(highlighted in the bolded. Well said and thanks again, you've also been an inspiration to me!

 

[aa9746]

Some ladies maybe keep stuff to themselves but I think for the most part members are willing to share.
All my inspirations have very detailed fotki's and are more then willing to share their reggie.s and pictures during their different stages of growing out.
I think the biggest secret on LHCF is called patience

I ita with you. And the women have been so nice to answer my questions and I know they get a lot of them. As soon as I started applying what I learned online my hair started retaining.

 

[brg240]

I think it depends on how you use the products, I see some ladies on here you vasline on thie ends after mosturising but if you tell people that you use vasline in general they will just assume you spread it all over the hair.

I don't hide information, it's not like the shops are going to run out of your recommended product if anything it would casue them to create more and better versions

sometimes people don't know. when i used to get asked how i grew my hair long i'd be like it's always been long/my fam's hair is long *shrug*


I didn't know til now it probably was just protective styling

 

[Irresistible]

There is nothing left to say in this thread, Lavender said anything and everything that needed to be said. Great post Lavender