Engaged ladies support thread

[Amour]

I thought it would be a good idea to start an engaged ladies' support thread so us ladies could support each other whilst we prepare for marriage and where we could receive from the married women on the board too.

Me and my Fiance are currently undergoing premarital counselling, I will share things from this which i believe will be benefical to someone. Please also remember us too if/ when you attend yours

 

[1god1]

I am not engaged, but this is a good idea.

 

[Amour]

I am not engaged, but this is a good idea.

I think so too, hopefully some more people will chime in

 

[Bunny77]

I think so too, hopefully some more people will chime in

Hey, um, maybe in a month or two?

 

[LunadeMiel]

Great Idea. FH and I umm didn't do premarital counseling

 

[Amour]

Hey, um, maybe in a month or two?

NOW, GET IN HERE!!!!!!!!!

 

[Bunny77]

LOL! Hi!

Okay, so I'm in here more quickly than I thought.

I talked to FH yesterday about premarital counseling and he's definitely interested. I look forward to giving that a try. It's going to be interesting because we've both been single for a while (I'm 32, he's 38... neither one of us have been in a relationship lasting longer than a year) and have never had to really focus on other people besides ourselves. This transition to interdependence might create some bumpy moments, so we'll have to get through those.

The good thing is that our families are very excited and supportive!

 

[loolalooh]

Hey, um, maybe in a month or two?

How about less than 2 weeks!?! CONGRATULATIONS again. You spoke it into existence. More of us should do this and stop worrying.

Woohoo!!

 

[Laela]

Now..this is exciting. CONGRATS TO YOU, BUNNY! You'll also enjoy the "bumpy moments," I'm sure

LOL! Hi!

Okay, so I'm in here more quickly than I thought.

I talked to FH yesterday about premarital counseling and he's definitely interested. I look forward to giving that a try. It's going to be interesting because we've both been single for a while (I'm 32, he's 38... neither one of us have been in a relationship lasting longer than a year) and have never had to really focus on other people besides ourselves. This transition to interdependence might create some bumpy moments, so we'll have to get through those.

The good thing is that our families are very excited and supportive!

 

[Amour]

Come on married folk, help a sister out, i've not got long to go :-D

There is a good thread in the Relationship forum that serves as good marriage prep BUT im keen on getting advise and guidance from the christian married women amogst us.

Although we are going premarital counselling, I think some pointers from women would be beneficial for me.

I'm interested in hearing advise about: money management, children, submission, sex, leaving and cleaving and roles & duties etc.

Thanx ladies x

 

[Hibiscus30]

Great thread! I was engaged... So I wil be reading...but CONGRATS to all you that are and to successful marriages.

I will be back where you all are...oneday

 

[Amour]

Re:

Ladies,

I need your advise on something.

I was reading a thread in OT entitled womans plan B and up to were I read most women agreed that in marriage women should have a back up plan, a plan b in the event that the marriage/plan A doesnt work out as expected.

I wanted to address the CF and ask whether christian woman should plan for possible eventualities in the event of possible divorce? i.e should we be stashing money away, demanding pre nuptial agreements?

What are your thoughts?

 

[Choclatcotton]

I would recommend that a woman hopefully have a skill, education, or talents or gifts that she could fall back on, even a home based business. I know of someone that married and her husband left her for jealousy over there child. There she was left without any skills or education, yet God came thru and opened up a job for her.

 

[MsSharee06]

I am engaged, I subscribing right now.

 

[Bunny77]

Re:

Ladies,

I need your advise on something.

I was reading a thread in OT entitled womans plan B and up to were I read most women agreed that in marriage women should have a back up plan, a plan b in the event that the marriage/plan A doesnt work out as expected.

I wanted to address the CF and ask whether christian woman should plan for possible eventualities in the event of possible divorce? i.e should we be stashing money away, demanding pre nuptial agreements?

What are your thoughts?

I think we should do this anyway... the way I'm approaching this is not so much with the thought that I might get divorced, but that something out of our control could happen.

What if my husband is in a car accident? What if he gets cancer? What if he dies suddenly in a freak accident? While I hate to think this way, we never know what the future holds...

Therefore, my Plan Bs are simply based on future events that "could" happen that are out of my control. I don't want to prepare for divorce, but if a divorce happens, I would be prepared financially.

As for a prenup... well, I'm actually bringing less into the marriage than he has... so I don't really know if having one would benefit me! It is a good idea though for us to make sure that we have a financial plan in place before our marriage in case something happens to either one of us in the marriage.

 

[Amour]

Re:


Thanks Bunny.

I too agree that a woman should stay relevant and maintain independence for such eventualities that you listed and similar but im curious as to whether we should 'prepare' or equipt ourselves for possible DIVORCE.

In the thread mentioned one poster (im paraphasing bc on my phone so cant quote and i cant remember posters name) said she will not/does not seek to 'protect' herself from the possibility of divorce, she said that her vows were made until death and that if they did divorce she would just cut her loses and go.

As christians wives ( or husbands - if it were applicable) is this the mindset we should have for our marriages? or is it naive esp based on the society we live in now? the Bible says we live in the world but are not apart of the world; does this mean our attitudes and our marriges should be dissimilar to the commonly held attitudes of society?

 

[phynestone]

Re:

Thanks Bunny.

I too agree that a woman should stay relevant and maintain independence for such eventualities that you listed and similar but im curious as to whether we should 'prepare' or equipt ourselves for possible DIVORCE.

In the thread mentioned one poster (im paraphasing bc on my phone so cant quote and i cant remember posters name) said she will not/does not seek to 'protect' herself from the possibility of divorce, she said that her vows were made until death and that if they did divorce she would just cut her loses and go.

As christians wives ( or husbands - if it were applicable) is this the mindset we should have for our marriages? or is it naive esp based on the society we live in now? the Bible says we live in the world but are not apart of the world; does this mean our attitudes and our marriges should be dissimilar to the commonly held attitudes of society?

I have wondered the same thing. It's commonly known that quality of life for women and children decreases (sometimes dramatically) after a divorce or separation.

 

[Bunny77]

Re:

I too agree that a woman should stay relevant and maintain independence for such eventualities that you listed and similar but im curious as to whether we should 'prepare' or equipt ourselves for possible DIVORCE.

Well, I don't know if I got my point across well in my last post, but I guess I see it this way.

I don't plan to deliberately prepare for divorce, per se, BUT, the preparations I do for all of the other eventualities would protect me if divorce did happen.

So I guess that by simply planning for "the worst" and not specifying what the worst could be, I would be prepared if I ended up going through a divorce. While I plan for my vows to be for life, I have no idea what curveballs out of my control could come my way either.

 

[Amour]

Hey ladies

Just wanted to update that my pre-marital sessions have been AWESOME! Our pastor has been breaking it down and has been really real and open drawing on examples from his own marriage. I wish it was recorded to have it to refer to for future ref. Also it has been alot of fundamental principle examples which assist in a variety of circumstances.

I was wanting but hesistant to pose the question about maintaining independence to safeguard against potential divorce (hypothetically - i KNOW this is not applicable to us, i believe our marriage will be covered with Jesus' blood and s
we will strive to have his word be forever reflected through our marriage) but out of wanting to hear the reasoning behind the answer. I know what the answer wil be tho now as 1 of the 1st things our pastor said was divorce is not an option PERIOD. Not its not something we hope and pray wil not happen, but is not an option!

I would encourage anyone who is not doing pre marital counselling to definately go for it.
Any ot