Embracing Your Natural Hair
- Thread starter jupitermoon
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Irresistible
New Member
:thatsall:Acceptance is a strange thing....it's all self-defined. You judge other's level of acceptance by your own...it's all projections at the end of the day. This is why some will never be satisfied w/ another person's answers.
Frankly, I think this so called acceptance is somewhat overrated. Many times people want others to do as they do in order to NOT feel so alone. If you're secure in your choices, IMHO, what others do or feel is of little issue on such a personal matter. At the end of the day, people have a right to do what they wish and really shouldn't be questioned. After all, do YOU wanna be questioned about your choices?
jennboo
Well-Known Member
I agree with you. I think if someone dislikes their raw natural hair and has to shingle it to the high heavens (or flat iron it) in order for them to be okay with it then there's still that ashamed factor going on.
I wanted to get an idea of what everyone in the thread thought "naked" was.
Irresistible
New Member
Irresistible
New Member
so the real truth comes out, now its out in the open for all to see
The ugly accusations of shame/being ashamed
well at least you just spilt it and didnt hide it behind other subtle ish
well I SAY again nobody has the right to say WHAT THE heck another feels about THEIR hair by what they do with it
its an imposition
I will never wear my hair naked , because its massive and extremely hard to manage
wait! why am I explaining tho
I aint killing my hair for nobody to feel better about how they think I feel about my hair with their 'projecting' crap, nuh uh!
msa
New Member
so the real truth comes out, now its out in the open for all to see
The ugly accusations of shame/being ashamed
well at least you just spilt it and didnt hide it behind other subtle ish
well I SAY again nobody has the right to say WHAT THE heck another feels about THEIR hair by what they do with it
its an imposition
I will never wear my hair naked , because its massive and extremely hard to manage
wait! why am I explaining tho
I aint killing my hair for nobody to feel better about how they think I feel about my hair with their 'projecting' crap, nuh uh!
I really think you're not understanding what we're saying.
Wearing naked hair does not = acceptance.
Manipulating hair in whatever way does not = non-acceptance.
No one is judging how someone feels about their hair based on the hairstyle they wear.
Irresistible
New Member
very good questions!!!!!
Shingling is just a method of applying your products in layers
they also do it another way with combing it through in layers and drying it that way
its a curl pattern thing girl
Last edited:
Irresistible
New Member
jennboo
Well-Known Member
so the real truth comes out, now its out in the open for all to see
The ugly accusations of shame/being ashamed
well at least you just spilt it and didnt hide it behind other subtle ish
well I SAY again nobody has the right to say WHAT THE heck another feels about THEIR hair by what they do with it
its an imposition
I will never wear my hair naked , because its massive and extremely hard to manage
wait! why am I explaining tho
I aint killing my hair for nobody to feel better about how they think I feel about my hair with their 'projecting' crap, nuh uh!
LOL. You must not be familiar with my posts. I don't hide or beat around the bush, i am not subtle in the least, lol.
Bolded: Sure i have the right, lol. I am expressing my opinion on the matter, which is completely and totally in my right to do so
Like i've said before, if peeps are annoyed/uncomortable by my stance on certain issues, i don't know what to tell 'em. I thought we were having a discussion. Honestly i like having discussions but emotionality always gets in the way and convolutes everything.
Contrary to belief, i am of the opinion also that folks should feel free to wear their hair the way that they want and feel secure in their decisions. My lil' ol' opinion on the matter shouldn't really be ruffling anyone's feathers.
Irresistible
New Member
well you aint naked and the braids enlongate your curl pattern and change it so you just might be ASHAMED!
Daughter
UK Blak
It took me a while to get there, but I truly LOVE my hair. I haven't had the urge to straighten it for some time, that last press was back in 2005.
For me, it was partly learning how to take care of my hair properly which led to it looking and feeling better which in turn helped me to accept it fully. My first two attempts a transitioning failed because I had no clue what I was doing, except for not using chemicals. My hair looked a total mess, which of course didn't help my mental transition, especially as I didn't know any good examples. Once the lightbulb came on and I started canerowing and braiding I was well on my way
In part, you do have to be strong minded and question other's expectations as well as your own, ie to straighten for "special occasions". I wish I had thought of a non-straight style for my wedding, for example.
It's been a journey, I can't say at which point I realised that I'm totally cool with my hair but for me it took time, like a good relationship. Hope this all makes sense!
For me, it was partly learning how to take care of my hair properly which led to it looking and feeling better which in turn helped me to accept it fully. My first two attempts a transitioning failed because I had no clue what I was doing, except for not using chemicals. My hair looked a total mess, which of course didn't help my mental transition, especially as I didn't know any good examples. Once the lightbulb came on and I started canerowing and braiding I was well on my way
In part, you do have to be strong minded and question other's expectations as well as your own, ie to straighten for "special occasions". I wish I had thought of a non-straight style for my wedding, for example.
It's been a journey, I can't say at which point I realised that I'm totally cool with my hair but for me it took time, like a good relationship. Hope this all makes sense!
jennboo
Well-Known Member
Shingling is when you put gobs and gobs of gel/creme on your hair and go through this long process of combing it and shaping it and pulling on it to get curls.
There is nothing i can do about it, lol. Never said i wanted to do anything about it...these are things that they need to work out on their own. It doesn't affect me, but i thought we were having a conversation, lol. If y'all didnt want dissenting opinions why even post in a forum.
Irresistible
New Member
Ok you may think you have the right to tell me what you feel I feel about my hair, maybe you can type it up in this thread , but nah girl at the end of the day you really dont have the right to be all up in my head telling me anything about how I might feel about my hair whatsoeverLOL. You must not be familiar with my posts. I don't hide or beat around the bush, i am not subtle in the least, lol.
Bolded: Sure i have the right, lol. I am expressing my opinion on the matter, which is completely and totally in my right to do so
Like i've said before, if peeps are annoyed/uncomortable by my stance on certain issues, i don't know what to tell 'em. I thought we were having a discussion. Honestly i like having discussions but emotionality always gets in the way and convolutes everything.
Contrary to belief, i am of the opinion also that folks should feel free to wear their hair the way that they want and feel secure in their decisions. My lil' ol' opinion on the matter shouldn't really be ruffling anyone's feathers.
Thats my personal call to make and mine alone
I do see a bunch of smoke and mirrors and jucking and jiving and mixed signals goin on tho
16 years gurrrl trust I am way past worrying about what another thinks of me and what I DO with my hair I AM just where I want to be doing just what I want to do and me and my hair made friends long long ago!
*Globs on some heavy conditioner*
u were saying............
I am not there yet. My hair is super thick and I love it when someone else combs, styles or blowdrys it. But when since I am the one who has to maintain it mostly, I am having a hard time feeling the love. I am not creative and when curly my hair doesn't fit in a bun so I am stuck with a twa until it is long enough to do a hairstyle that I am capable of.
jennboo
Well-Known Member
Ok you may think you have the right to tell me what you feel I feel about my hair, maybe you can type it up in this thread , but nah girl at the end of the day you really dont have the right to be all up in my head telling me anything about how I might feel about my hair whatsoever
Thats my personal call to make and mine alone
I do see a bunch of smoke and mirrors and jucking and jiving and mixed signals goin on tho
16 years gurrrl trust I am way past worrying about what another thinks of me and what I DO with my hair I AM just where I want to be doing just what I want to do and me and my hair made friends long long ago!
*Globs on some heavy conditioner*
u were saying............
I hear you
look not really.....
Irresistible
New Member
Can you hear me now?I hear you
its all good girl
I'm actually just laughin
this dont bother me
Irresistible
New Member
hello!!!Umm Jenn...if I didn't want a dissenting opinion, I wouldn't have asked you WHY you said that, now would I? LOL....please don't try to do a Jedi Mind Trick on me. I'm a bit too old for it to work so well.
I'm quite familiar w/ your posts and I know where you stand. I guess it's a generation things cuz I'm quite a bit older than you (as is Iris) and some others. I know that these convos tend to bring rather extreme opinions. My whole point is that someone brought up "raw" hair and I wanted to know why such mintuae is so important. Natural hair is NOT enough, now it's raw.....what next, will shaving the head be the ultimate proof of self-acceptance for some?
None of this actually encourages people to go natural, IMHO. It just makes them feel as if they're walking into another trap of "not Black enuff" (in the "right way, of course) for someone. I don't think folks understand that this is hardly encoruagement for people to accept themselves. Being picked apart for relaxed, straightened, natural, or otherwise hair is just another form of picking people apart. Blacks get plenty of that anyway, so why add more?
Anyway, this is hypothethical AND hypocritical...hardly anyone goes around w/ their hair "raw". I don't like to point it out, but even the naturals who post pics here claiming LOUDLY that they are proud of being natural, have AT LEAST product of some sort on in those pics. How do I know they are....I've been natural for so long, I see it. LOL...funny the people who are so adamant about it are people who straighten their hair regularly and/or go thru weave phases. I do neither.
just wanted to quote you again lovely lady
I don't understand your question. YOUR hair looks the same almost naked as it does with just a few leave ins in it....thats not true for a lot of naturals... Even the ones with tighter textures. If they get curl definition on hair that has been moisturized (now I didn't say gel) in a way that works for them and keeping their hair healthy... is that goopification? Are they self haters? Couldn't that just be how their hair behaves? Or are they some how 'less' natural because that's what their hair does?
This whole business about naked vs product is insanity. I'll admit that there can be a sort of pathological determination to achieve as much curl definition as possible in naturals, but my observations have been that it is mostly at 1. the start of the natural journey or 2. when people realize for the first time it is possible.
I haven't seen my hair naked in months, not because I don't like it (I love all of what's happening on my head) but because it is a pain in the hindquarters to deal with all at once....Especially when it's naked. I'm not about to put me and my hair through some BS because someone with stretched hair in their siggie thinks that if I do otherwise, I hate myself. (No offense intended. I'm blunt too.)
I think a lot more people would accept themselves as a whole if there wasn't constantly this tug of war of, are you this enough, are you that enough... It gets to be ridiculous. I feel like 'do you like your hair' is a simple question, really. I can 'like my hair' and 'like weaves' (personally hate em) and 'like straight looks' and 'like braid outs', etc etc.. they aren't mutually exclusive. It's pretty apparent how people feel about their hair, whatever they may say.
jennboo
Well-Known Member
Umm Jenn...if I didn't want a dissenting opinion, I wouldn't have asked you WHY you said that, now would I? LOL....please don't try to do a Jedi Mind Trick on me. I'm a bit too old for it to work so well.
I'm quite familiar w/ your posts and I know where you stand. I guess it's a generation things cuz I'm quite a bit older than you (as is Iris) and some others. I know that these convos tend to bring rather extreme opinions. My whole point is that someone brought up "raw" hair and I wanted to know why such mintuae is so important. Natural hair is NOT enough, now it's raw.....what next, will shaving the head be the ultimate proof of self-acceptance for some?
None of this actually encourages people to go natural, IMHO. It just makes them feel as if they're walking into another trap of "not Black enuff" (in the "right way, of course) for someone. I don't think folks understand that this is hardly encoruagement for people to accept themselves. Being picked apart for relaxed, straightened, natural, or otherwise hair is just another form of picking people apart. Blacks get plenty of that anyway, so why add more?
Anyway, this is hypothethical AND hypocritical...hardly anyone goes around w/ their hair "raw". I don't like to point it out, but even the naturals who post pics here claiming LOUDLY that they are proud of being natural, have AT LEAST product of some sort on in those pics. How do I know they are....I've been natural for so long, I see it. LOL...funny the people who are so adamant about it are people who straighten their hair regularly and/or go thru weave phases. I do neither.
Jam, Jedi Mind trick? LOL.
Anywho, to answer your inquiry, you know my general stance, which is that perpetual straightening of the hair (By any means, chemical, heat) for the purposes of covering up natural texture signifies to me that a person is still attempting to adhere to euro standards of beauty (thus rejecting their own) (there goes that phrase again), that i don't agree with. If you think about it, i have stayed pretty consistent with that and one would think that my opinion that shingling and flat ironing all the time falls into the category of adhering to euro standards. So for me, its not minutiae or hairsplitting, it's about the staying consistent with my general stance
.People can and should do what they want. But folks need not get upset that, when elicited, i speak my peace/opinion on the matter whether it is pleasing or displeasing to a person or not
I don't even know how we got on this kick. I don't recall anyone in the thread saying that if you don't wear your hair raw you aren't really natural or comfortable with yourself. But when y'all got something in your minds y'all run with it, lol. Thats cool that you can tell if folks have product on their hair from siggy and avatar pics, would you mind sharing tips on how you can tell? Bc i hate looking at supposedly 'naked' hair pics and getting all excited when i see a hair twin and in all actuality the person may not be one, lol.
It's also funny that in most threads that call for natural heads to proclaim their love and preference for natural hair, someone always finds a way to get offended, lol. Too funny.
Irresistible
New Member
yeah girl your full of these jedi mind tricks todayJam, Jedi Mind trick? LOL.
Anywho, to answer your inquiry, you know my general stance, which is that perpetual straightening of the hair (By any means, chemical, heat) for the purposes of covering up natural texture signifies to me that a person is still attempting to adhere to euro standards of beauty (thus rejecting their own) (there goes that phrase again), that i don't agree with. If you think about it, i have stayed pretty consistent with that and one would think that my opinion that shingling and flat ironing all the time falls into the category of adhering to euro standards. So for me, its not minutiae or hairsplitting, it's about the staying consistent with my general stance
People can and should do what they want. But folks need not get upset that, when elicited, i speak my peace/opinion on the matter whether it is pleasing or displeasing to a person or not
I don't even know how we got on this kick. I don't recall anyone in the thread saying that if you don't wear your hair raw you aren't really natural or comfortable with yourself. But when y'all got something in your minds y'all run with it, lol. Thats cool that you can tell if folks have product on their hair from siggy and avatar pics, would you mind sharing tips on how you can tell? Bc i hate looking at supposedly 'naked' hair pics and getting all excited when i see a hair twin and in all actuality the person may not be one, lol.
It's also funny that in most threads that call for natural heads to proclaim their love and preference for natural hair, someone always finds a way to get offended, lol. Too funny.
it was you that said one was ASHAMED, nobody had nothin in their mind
u spit that out
jennboo
Well-Known Member
Bolded: THIS. I see this all the time. THIS is what i'm talking about. IMO folks who do this arent accepting of their texture. In my head, im thinking, if you've got to apply half a jar of gel/creme, go by 1/8 sections of hair to comb, massage, pull, shape the gel through, let it set under a dryer and do this everytime you wash your hair bc you wouldnt be caught dead without some semblance of definition then, umm, you may have an issue with your natch texture, all im saying, lol.
If all you've got to do is throw some infusium and some shea butter on your hair and your curls are poppin', cool. Again, when y'all get something in your heads y'all run with it, but no one is saying that you have to go around without some glycerin and grease in your hair, lol. Just this pathological need to curlify with all this elbow grease is a bit odd to me, my opinion.
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