Embracing Your Natural Hair

[purplepeace79]

I'm new here and this is my first post but I'm not new to hair boards. Guess this is as good a place to jump in as any!

Yes, I have fully embraced my natural hair. I'm celebrating 15 years of being natural in April. The only envy I have is towards women who have thicker, fuller hair. However, I've accepted the upside of my hair and I work with what I have.

I never wanted a relaxer. My aunt relaxed my hair w/o my mom's consent when I was SIX. 10 years later I finally took control over my hair again and haven't looked back. I spent about 8 years being locked and always loved my hair. Maybe it's helped that people looked to MY hair as inspiration, I don't know. My reason for being natural is very cultural and while others may feel their hair doesnt represent their Blackness, mine does for me. For me, it's a great source of pride, so I don't waste time wishing it looked like someone else's.

 

[Neith]

I plan to have my hair stretched 95% of the time because otherwise I get tons of knots on my ends. I also tried the naked hair thing once, looked nice, but it's not the healthiest thing for my hair.

I mainly manipulate it and add product to it for the health of my hair. It'd be funny if anyone called me out for "not embracing my texture"

 

[Irresistible]

I really wish that natural conversations would stop coming down to a "Nappier than thou" argument every time. "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your saviour? Have you accepted natural hair as your end all be all?" The militancy and preachiness that comes across these in conversations do nothing but pull us back. If Shameka thinks natural means juices and berries then fine! Its her hair, not mines. People have different reasons for doing things. If someone recycles because they like to see the cute men on the recycling crew, who am I to tell them they are wrong? I'd rather them recycle for the non-mainstream reason rather than to not recycle at all. If people go natural for the curls or for the fad or just to be different, I think experiencing their natural hair (fully or not) and portraying natural beauty is still a winning situation. So whether or not they have accepted their natural hair doesn't matter to me.

But since it matters to you yes I have accepted my hair. For all its chaos and bipolarness. Its ups and downs. It is me. I have worn it "raw" and have done damage to my hair because of that. Spraying my hair with water and letting it be left me with a tangled mess that took hours to detangle and a loss of quite a bit of hair. All in the name of "accepting my hair for what it is." I wold have locs if I contunied down that route. And I am not interested in locing my hair. For those that think that is the only way to ever truly be natural. Sorry. Not for me. This is as "accepting" as I will get.

typically most of us DONT too much care about the 'nappier than thou's' or what they do with THEIR hair and think it is just fine, its typically the other way around

its a thread the subject came up it was discussed it happens, almost always ........



its understandable

look at the thread title

 

[Irresistible]

I plan to have my hair stretched 95% of the time because otherwise I get tons of knots on my ends. I also tried the naked hair thing once, looked nice, but it's not the healthiest thing for my hair.

I mainly manipulate it and add product to it for the health of my hair. It'd be funny if anyone called me out for "not embracing my texture"

get ready to laugh

but it doesnt happen as much these days or on here .....its more subtle if its here because it has to be

do you mama!

 

[jamaraa]

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[msa]

I get what your saying......I Guess

but I was referring to the natural nazi's that think only juice and berries or nothing is acceptable and if you manipulate, add product or define or straighten your hair you are not accepting your hair period

there are those that take it THAT far

Yeah, that's not what I'm saying at all.

I just think when we're talking about accepting our hair, it's important that we accept our raw hair...doesn't mean you have to wear it that way, but the acceptance should be there.

 

[msa]

Very few people wear their hair in this state. Not even people w/ uncultivated locks.

Very true.

I'm not saying people should wear their hair that way...just that acceptance of your raw natural hair is important.

 

[Irresistible]

Yeah, that's not what I'm saying at all.

I just think when we're talking about accepting our hair, it's important that we accept our raw hair...doesn't mean you have to wear it that way, but the acceptance should be there.

I hear you , I accept it , its what I got growin out my head, I mean its simple to me, but I guess for others , it might not be , such as not accepting leading to other issues, I dont know .....really where this is going exactly.....

all I know is I accept it long enough to do what I need to do with it cause I cant leave it like that

so again I guess it goes back to the first post on this, pointing out that people's definitions of 'acceptance' will be different than others

 

[jamaraa]

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[purplepeace79]

I think it's important for people to accept their raw natural hair and I think the sista is saying that acceptance is important. It doesnt mean you have to adhere to any specific guidelines for caring for or manipulating it. Just accepting is important.

Thats the angle I push. If I relax my hair tomorrow, does it mean I don't accept or embrace my natural hair? Not really. There *are* many people who fear and hate their natural hair, which I think is problematic. But there are those who absolutely love and adore it the way it grows out of their head. Whatever styling options they choose after that is up to them, as far as I'm concerned. As long as the fear is gone and the love is there, its all good.

 

[jamaraa]

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[msa]

Why it is IF that's not reflective of how you normally wear your hair? What's to accept? That's like saying you should accept your natural odors when you don't bathe. Who does that? It's a grooming issue.

No it's not the same thing.

The way your (general your) hair grows out of your head should be accepted/embraced. I'm not saying you (general you) have to wear it that way...it doesn't matter if 5 mins later you put some conditioner or gel or whatever on it.

I just think it's important to be able to appreciate your naked hair, no additions. If a person doesn't like their hair until there's some conditioner or whatever on it, then I think that's an issue.

 

[Irresistible]

Why it is IF that's not reflective of how you normally wear your hair? What's to accept? That's like saying you should accept your natural odors when you don't bathe. Who does that? It's a grooming issue.

I think thats where I was getting lost , in the translation

 

[jamaraa]

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[Irresistible]

who would it be an issue for though and why?

asking seriously here

eta oh and what IS the issue?

No it's not the same thing.

The way your (general your) hair grows out of your head should be accepted/embraced. I'm not saying you (general you) have to wear it that way...it doesn't matter if 5 mins later you put some conditioner or gel or whatever on it.

I just think it's important to be able to appreciate your naked hair, no additions. If a person doesn't like their hair until there's some conditioner or whatever on it, then I think that's an issue.

 

[msa]

Nada...it's accurate. Nazis were utopians who believed that if everyone were one way all would be good w/ the world. That was the core belief and frankly that's the belief of some people about natural hair when it comes to people of African descent. The issue is how far are they willing to go to impose/enforce this...it's an issue of degrees. The core values espoused aren't vastly different. I've read "Mein Kampf" so I'm not speaking lightly.

Having read Mein Kampf and studied the Nazi's, I really think it's an inappropriate term to use when discussing something like hair. Just like I think creamy crack is inappropriate and saying people who relax hate themselves is inappropriate.

Those heavy terms just have no place in a discussion about hair.

 

[msa]

who would it be an issue for though and why?

asking seriously here

It's an issue for most of black america...we see it over and over again on this board and in real life. There are many many people who have an issue with their naked natural hair. I thought that was obvious.

 

[jamaraa]

No it's not the same thing.

The way your (general your) hair grows out of your head should be accepted/embraced. I'm not saying you (general you) have to wear it that way...it doesn't matter if 5 mins later you put some conditioner or gel or whatever on it.

I just think it's important to be able to appreciate your naked hair, no additions. If a person doesn't like their hair until there's some conditioner or whatever on it, then I think that's an issue.

It an issue who whom? LOL..why stop at conditioner...why not start at it in it's DRY state? After all, it's dry state is where the texture REALLY shows up?

IMHO, it is the same thing. Few humans walk around in their raw state in terms of their body ordors, so why should they about their hair? LOL...I accpet both my body ordor and hair, but I know that I will alter them moderately to be socially acceptable. People get into these grooves about "degrees"...but as I pointed out to you, VERY few human beings will walk around in their raw state in any way, no matter their race...so why should Blacks be held to a different standard about their hair?

 

[jennboo]

I don't understand this naked thing. When you gals say naked, you mean no shampoo to clean, no use of conditioner or leave-ins or styling aids?

Or just using natural products?

Or just opting to leave out heavy gels and the goopification process in an attempt to turn 4b hair into 3c hair?

I don't know about y'all, but my hair looks the exact same way naked (shampooed and conditioned, but no leave-ins) as it does when i put my glycerin+water mixture in or when i throw some shea butter in it. However, it feels different naked.

 

[jamaraa]

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[Irresistible]

It's an issue for most of black america...we see it over and over again on this board and in real life. There are many many people who have an issue with their naked natural hair. I thought that was obvious.

you said that if they only like THEIR hair a certain way you think it would be an issue

if its THEIR hair no I still dont understand who exactly it would be or should be an issue to exactly

define having an issue with their naked natural hair, what shows they do? Because they are not happy with wearing it that way and use products?

Because in one breath your saying its not a problem that they use products, then in the other breath your saying they shouldnt like their hair only with products , and there is an 'issue' if they only like THEIR hair that way

oh lord I'm lost

 

[jamaraa]

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[Irresistible]

I don't understand this naked thing. When you gals say naked, you mean no shampoo to clean, no use of conditioner or leave-ins or styling aids?

Or just using natural products?

Or just opting to leave out heavy gels and the goopification process in an attempt to turn 4b hair into 3c hair?

I don't know about y'all, but my hair looks the exact same way naked (shampooed and conditioned, but no leave-ins) as it does when i put my glycerin+water mixture in or when i throw some shea butter in it. However, it feels different naked.

it should 'feel' different naked , our hair needs moisture

naked=no products in it whatsoever

thus its 'naked'

 

[Irresistible]

Frankly, some people want it both ways. You want to very narrowly definie what "acceptance" is and yet don't want others to point out how narrow that is. In short, no matter what people say, some will never be satisfied w/ the answer. Everyone decides what is or is not acceptable to them and that gets lost in these convos.

I love you Jamaraa, I shole is lost

I say its simple , worry about what you accept with 'your' hair and define what acceptance is for yourself (not 'you' girl lol)

and all will be solved, no more worries about what another does or feels about their own hair

 

[jamaraa]

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[msa]

It an issue who whom? LOL..why stop at conditioner...why not start at it in it's DRY state? After all, it's dry state is where the texture REALLY shows up?

IMHO, it is the same thing. Few humans walk around in their raw state in terms of their body ordors, so why should they about their hair? LOL...I accpet both my body ordor and hair, but I know that I will alter them moderately to be socially acceptable. People get into these grooves about "degrees"...but as I pointed out to you, VERY few human beings will walk around in their raw state in any way, no matter their race...so why should Blacks be held to a different standard about their hair?

I don't understand this naked thing. When you gals say naked, you mean no shampoo to clean, no use of conditioner or leave-ins or styling aids?

Or just using natural products?

Or just opting to leave out heavy gels and the goopification process in an attempt to turn 4b hair into 3c hair?

I don't know about y'all, but my hair looks the exact same way naked (shampooed and conditioned, but no leave-ins) as it does when i put my glycerin+water mixture in or when i throw some shea butter in it. However, it feels different naked.

you said that if they only like THEIR hair a certain way you think it would be an issue

if its THEIR hair no I still dont understand who exactly it would be or should be an issue to exactly

define having an issue with their naked natural hair, what shows they do? Because they are not happy with wearing it that way and use products?

Because in one breath your saying its not a problem that they use products, then in the other breath your saying they shouldnt like their hair only with products , and there is an 'issue' if they only like THEIR hair that way

oh lord I'm lost

Maybe I wasn't clear (I thought I was though).

I think everyone should wear their hair and do to their hair what they like.

I just think it's extremely important when talking about acceptance, that people accept their naked (ie without product, wet or dry) hair as well. After all, that's is their natural hair.

I know a lot of people (on the board and off) who clearly dislike their naked natural hair and only accept it once it's "altered" by something (heat, gel, etc.).

And no, I'm not saying people who don't walk around with their naked natural hair don't accept it. I was just saying that appreciating your naked hair is a part of the package, that's all.

I hope that was clear.

 

[almond eyes]

This is like the same debate with locs, people who have freeflow (non-manipulated method) vs those who use the manipulated method (twist, crochet or small braids).

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[msa]

Hair is a charateristic of race....it was then and still is. Hair was used to determine many things about people and it still is. After all, this convo is using hair to discuss how people view themselves racially via their hair. If it's heavy to use the term, isn't it heavy to use hair as a defining factor of how other people feel about themselves? Can't have it both ways, IMHO.

I should have said it differently.

I find it offensive to use the term nazi in reference to anyone who is not one. Nazi is on par with other derogatory terms like ni66er, sp*ck, and other terms IMO. That's why I don't think it's appropriate to use in the discussion. Same with the phrase "creamy crack" or saying people "hate" themselves because they relax. All inappropriate in my opinion.

And I'm not looking at anyone's hair and determining how they feel about themselves and I hope no one else is either. Assumptions don't get us anywhere. But when a person uses the word "nazi" there is no assumption about what that means and the baggage it carries and that's why I find it extremely offensive in these conversations.

 

[Irresistible]

This is like the same debate with locs, people who have freeflow (non-manipulated method) vs those who use the manipulated method (twist, crochet or small braids).

Best,
Almond Eyes

aint it sad how silly it can get

who cares

in the end they all got locs

 

[LoveisYou]

Accepting your natural hair doesn't mean you can't do anything to it that makes it look good in your eyes. If defining your curls is important to you, go ahead and define them. You like color? Go ahead and color your hair. My thing is do what makes you happy. Other people should not be allowed to define you or your hair.

Many women go natural, because they don't want to conform to societal standards. Yet when they are natural, they feel like they have to conform to other standards.
How ironic.