Does your husband/partner have a way higher libido than you? What to do?

Who wants it more

  • You

    Votes: 29 43.9%

  • Your man

    Votes: 37 56.1%
  • Total voters
    66
movado32k1

movado32k1

New Member
Hi ladies. I just want to ask if anyone has experienced issues when your husband had a way higher libido than you did. For us sex happens 4-6 times a week. Every few months my husband complains that I never initiate/want sex and that I don't think about it. I never refuse if he wants it but he wants me to initiate and because he always initiates he views me as not sexual. I do admit that in my mind if I'm having sex or we are doing sexual acts 4-6 times a week what time is left for me to want it, I don't have enough of a cooling off period to be hot and bothered. So admittedly, in the last few years there has been less than 5 times that I can remember when I was ready to pounce on him and at those time it was because he was away for two to three weeks. He is right I just don't think about it anymore because it is kind of a forgone conclusion that it will happen and I am busy thinking about other things like work and bills. His argument is that regardless, I should want it. Is something wrong with me?:sad: Has anyone else experienced this, if so are there any herbal remedies anyone can suggest. Any books I can read? I would hate to loose my husband over this he is a great man. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
 
I'm no expert at all but find when women have a lot of worry on their minds such as money, bills, work, etc... sex is the last thing on the mind. Men want sex no matter what girl. Men don't worry like women. I'll say again I'm no expert.
 
So much to say but I did not eat yet so my thoughts are scattered. Go to the Sensual thread sticky in the relationship forum and get some book recommendations and tips. In the meantime go on VS's website or 3wisheslingerie.com and get to perusing and surprise him with an outfit. ;) If you make a baby name him/her LUCIE. TIA! :D
 
Four to six times a week is a lot IMO. There is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you would prefer to have sex less often which is something that should also be considered.
 
I always have the high sex drive. Pretty much what you would expect from a dude :lol:

There isn't anything wrong with you because you desire sex less than him, different people have different natural sex drives. If you do want to try to initiate, maybe you could try at a different time than you typically have sex?
 
He needs to calm down. 4-6 times a week is a lot. Maybe you two could save it for weekends so that there is time to build up anticipation during the week.
 
I would have a conversation with him and explain exactly what you are saying here

baby you don't allow me to come to you and initiate because you always initiate..let me come to you--then i would notify him we are going to do things differently so that he can allow you to come to him...maybe seduce him..maybe miss it a bit and let it build up---

i think a good convo where you can discuss your sexual expectations should get you two on the same page--it can't just be you giving it to him all the time because he wants it--you have to enjoy it too!
 
Is he taking the time to make sure these frequent interactions are pleasurable for you? If you aren't enjoying it, he should slow down and take your needs into consideration. Maybe focus less on quantity and more on quality if that's an issue for you. Also helping out more around the house or hiring help so that you have more free time and energy for him.
 
Agreed. Seems a bit excessive. I always wonder what folks do with an SO or DH that wants to color every night. Are you exhausted daily? Are you sleep deprived? Chronically sore crayon box?? What does your hair look like every day? :lol:


hopeful said:
Four to six times a week is a lot IMO. There is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you would prefer to have sex less often which is something that should also be considered.
Click to expand...
 
Mortons said:
I always have the high sex drive. Pretty much what you would expect from a dude :lol:

There isn't anything wrong with you because you desire sex less than him, different people have different natural sex drives. If you do want to try to initiate, maybe you could try at a different time than you typically have sex?
Click to expand...

Yea.:look: Me too.

But is this intercourse 4-6x a week or just sexual acts?:look:
 
There is nothing wrong with you at all. I agree that 4-6 times a week is alot. I'm too busy for all of that. What stood out is that he say you "should" feel that way. That's not right and you don't have to change yourself bc of what he thinks you "should" feel. There comes a time in your life when self control is important and this is an area I think is important.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
not exhausted...Im cranky if it doesnt happen every day:look:

yes sometimes sleep deprived---we try and be mindful depending on if we have a big meeting the next day or will be up early AM---tmi i tapped out the other night he was all geared up for a long session i was like baby I'm tired lmaooo

lmaoo my hair----yuppppp def takes it toll on the tresses--as i don't like to wear a bonnet when coloring with dh since he enjoys the hair...some days my hair looks great other days---chileeeee smh

coloring is a huge part of our love language---huge! and we knew that during dating...we both discussed prior rip where others didn't want to color as much and how that didn't work...


ElegantPearl17 said:
Agreed. Seems a bit excessive. I always wonder what folks do with an SO or DH that wants to color every night. Are you exhausted daily? Are you sleep deprived? Chronically sore crayon box?? What does your hair look like every day? :lol:
Click to expand...
 
For the ladies who color everyday are you reaching "cloud 9" every time? Maybe I'm selfish but I can't see myself giving it up every day and he's the only one ending on a happy note...lol.
 
I don't have much more to add but...

We hadn't had it in 6 weeks and I was FINE. At different times in those six weeks we wanted it (not at the same time) but no one initiated. I'm more of a morning person but he didn't pick up on that, I had to point it out. He started wondering why it was OK to NOT be doing it? While he was frustrated I was on cloud nine thinking that out relationship was deeper than the physical lol

You all need to really talk about this because I learned that my partner felt connected to me during ses and I never knew that. In what I learned about men, all they want is to climax and that it's not about emotional connection. No, my partner got so much more from that. He wanted to be desired. The more he felt desired the more he desired me! I didn't learn any of this until it was too late.

PS- I need to read a couple of books on sensuality too and part of the reason why my libido is not so active was because of BC, soreness, UTIs etc. And ladies, how does it stay tight if they're banging it out the box 3-4 times a week?
 
Last edited:
ElegantPearl17 said:
Agreed. Seems a bit excessive. I always wonder what folks do with an SO or DH that wants to color every night. Are you exhausted daily? Are you sleep deprived? Chronically sore crayon box?? What does your hair look like every day? :lol:
Click to expand...


LOL, you are hilarious. Girl I don't know. You get used to coloring almost daily. Like I said its like a forgone conclusion so when he doesn't want to "color" I think something is wrong. I think that's half the problem. It's no fun when it turns more into a chore than an experience. Don't get me wrong it is nice 98% of the time but... if it was less frequent it would be better.
 
I had to come back as I am awake and ate my second meal of the day. 4-6x a week is a lot? It doesn't have to be a 30 - 60 minute affair. Even if it 5/10 minutes? :)
 
Fine 4s said:
I don't have much more to add but...

We hadn't had it in 6 weeks and I was FINE. At different times in those six weeks we wanted it (not at the same time) but no one initiated. I'm more of a morning person but he didn't pick up on that, I had to point it out. He started wondering why it was OK to NOT be doing it? While he was frustrated I was on cloud nine thinking that out relationship was deeper than the physical lol

You all need to really talk about this because I learned that my partner felt connected to me during ses and I never knew that. In what I learned about men, all they want is to climax and that it's not about emotional connection. No, my partner got so much more from that. He wanted to be desired. The more he felt desired the more he desired me! I didn't learn any of this until it was too late.

PS- I need to read a couple of books on sensuality too and part of the reason why my libido is not so active was because of BC, soreness, UTIs etc. And ladies, how does it stay tight if they're banging it out the box 3-4 times a week?
Click to expand...

Amen to what you wrote. It's like I wrote it. He feels the same way.. Connected thru "coloring" so that's why I am worried. I'm good with hanging and cuddling but for him the connection thru "coloring" is it. For the tightness Keagel exercises. I have to check the sensuality thread out.
 
4-6 times a week regularly? He don't know what he got.

As unromantic as it sounds, when I update my Google calendar for the week, I pick a random day/time and schedule 'jump on him' time. It's a different day every week and if I feel like initiating another time it's a bonus but it keeps him on his toes...or off them. Whatevs.
 
he has a higher one, sometimes i give in and just try to get myself ready and sometimes he just goes to sleep
 
My SO has a much higher libido and I don't because I'm in menopause. I used to be sex-crazy and always believed that I always would be. Fast forward 30+ years later and my idea of a thrilling night is taking a hot shower or bath, conditioning my hair and getting in the bed and surfing on my iPad. I love him dearly and have sex anyway because he is so good to me.
 
hopeful said:
Four to six times a week is a lot IMO. There is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you would prefer to have sex less often which is something that should also be considered.
Click to expand...

I read somewhere that the average couple has sex two times a month. Tell him that he's a lucky man for saying yes! LOL
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

LovingLady
  • Poll Poll
Do You Have A Higher Degree Than Your So?
2
Replies
51
Views
1K
futurelonglocks
F
ChasingBliss
For the Marrieds: Does your husband know...
Replies
25
Views
756
Arcadian
Arcadian
LovelyNaps26
If you're married but have NEVER colored w/ your partner are u really married?
2 3
Replies
60
Views
1K
annie1003
A
naija24
Would you have a child for your husband, even if you didn't want one?
Replies
22
Views
826
*CherryPie*
*CherryPie*
BeautifulFlower
Are you more successful than your SO?
Replies
22
Views
522
BeautifulFlower
BeautifulFlower
Back
Top