Does it seem like everyone is going Natural?

[RazberryDazzle]

Hmmm....I thought I wanted to go natural and when I did, it was soooo difficult as I have THICK hair.

Maybe I didn't try hard enough but..end the end I figured it just may not be for me. I'm in braids right now with a pile of newgrowth that I don't want to deal with. I go back and forth because while I loved the texture of my hair, I had no clue on how t deal with it. I would even try some of the products recommended but very few of them really did anything for me

 

[SmilingElephant]

@Misseyl jazzybklyn

I'm Relaxed. I look at it this way: Everyone can:

Cowash
Deep Condition
Oil
Dust
Protective Style
Baggy
Henna/Indigo
Steam/Dry/Blow Dry
Flat-Iron
Deal with Breakage, SSKs, Porosity Issues
etc.....

So I don't look at Natural/Relaxed I look at: Overall Healthy Hair Practices period.

If there is something specifically that only relates to "Relaxed" Hair, then I do a search and go there.

I think there are plenty of Relaxed Heads and just personally don't see it that way.

I tend to look at Overall Hair Care. *tis all*

Exactly my thoughts! In fact i still have the same regimen that i had when i was taking care of my relaxed hair. The only thing that's changed is my detangling process and the way i style my hair.

A lot of us naturals do not mind helping out the relaxed ladies...i know i don't mind...my siggy is a pic of my relaxed hair...i'm just trying to get back to that length as a natural head. As far as it being a sub-forum...i'm kinda on the fence...only because i get why the relaxed ladies want a separate forum...BUT i am a product of my environment being that in my yrs of being here on LHCF i benefited from ALL hair types....relaxed, natural, whatever.

I have been on other hair boards where they have all these different hair forums and the majority of those forums are

 

[afroette]

No, so many are holding onto bad weaves and tacky braids.

 

[cbanks67]

Definitely not in the real world. I still see a ton of relaxed ladies. I've been natural for a while but I wanted to learn new healthy techniques and I've benefited from both naturals and relaxed heads. Its really about research on here. So much info. Have a particular problem. 9 times out of 10 someone has talked about the issue on here.

 

[jazzybklyn]

@jazzybklyn, why don't you feel welcome? I've never seen anyone be treated negatively because they are relaxed. If relaxed people want to talk about relaxed hair, why don't they? Why don't YOU get the ball rolling?

Since 2003, I've been part of the crew against a separate forum. Back then folks wanted a separate forum for naturals. I didn't. Now folks want a separate forum for relaxed? C'mon nah! Why? I mean, when natural folks were the minimum here, I never felt unwelcome. I didn't care that folks were talking more about relaxed hair. Heck I learned most of my current regimen from relaxed folks.

So I don't get what the big deal is. If I wanted more talk about something I value, I'd start the discussion and make it happen rather than whine about the fact that no one is doing it.

ETA: When I have seen a question about relaxed hair that I could not answer, I've tagged people I know are knowledgeable so they can come and answer. Are people shy about being relaxed that they don't wanna stand up and be counted? I mean, I don't understand this "not feeling welcome" or "need for another forum" as if the hair forum is only for a select few. I personally think we don't need any more divisions than we already create unnecessarily. In fact, I'm sure folks who relaxed or went natural did so with a peace of mind because they had access to info that pertained to the new world they were entering thanks to having come across it while browsing the forum. Had this info been in a separate forum, they would never have known how much fun there is on the other side. Plus a lot of info shared by either group is useful to all. And I personally have benefited from LHCF having us all in one place. I think separation will be the downfall of this forum. But that's just my opinion.

Nothing specific to me was said but I have seen numerous times negative things being said and in an offensive kinda way. I don't remember the exact posts or anything. I don't want the separation either. I do post in the relaxed hair thread. I have started a couple of threads also not too many because I just joined in December. I tried a lot things many naturals do like henna and cowashing. The henna was drying and constant cowashing was too much manipulation. Thats why I now feel I should stick with what relaxed ladies are doing. Feels like I'm searching and searching now and I can barely find regimens from relaxed ladies because on the relaxed thread there's soooo many pages and have trouble finding regimens. It's not much of a big deal but since this thread was started I might as well have said what I thought.

 

[jazzybklyn]

I am with @Nonie post

I have been Natural before so it isn't a biggie or taboo to me. I reached a little past HIP relaxed and Honestly wear my hair up so much that it isn't a need for me to relax. I wig it 105% anywho

I am always happy to still chime in as I feel my relaxed hair was pretty healthy

Chime away lol

 

[*CherryPie*]

OP, although I don't want you all to leave...I fully understand how you feel. I also sometimes wonder where the relaxed threads are. I think there should be a seperate forum for the relaxed ladies. I think they should feel excited about being here too...and if getting them to that point, takes a seperate forum, then why shouldn't they have it?

Do we REALLY NEED a Whitney and Michael Jackson forum? Why do those forums come BEFORE the relaxed ladies? Oh yeah. And as much as I LOVE pets, we really don't NEED a pet forum. We DO need a relaxed forum, because relaxed women need to feel wanted around here...and as it looks, they don't. No matter how much we think they SHOULD feel wanted, many of them Don't...

 

[SmilingElephant]

jazzbklyn...how did you find that co-washing was too much manipulation? did you experience a lot of breakage? I'm just curious.

I ask bc for some ppl, they think that styling their hair everyday is too much manipulation in general so you hear a lot of "protective style, protective style, bun,bun,bun" but you have to find what works for you.

When i was relaxed...i co-washed every 2-3 days like clockwork. I loved to wear braidouts, i loved to straighten my hair 2 a month...even tho i really liked to bun...i liked to wear my hair out a lot too. Even though a lot of ladies said that it may be too much manipulation...for them...so i guess what i'm trying to say is...if it was working or you to co-wash...then i'd stick with it. That's with anything for your hair

 

[bklynbornNbred]

jazzybklyn - where Brooklyn at??

Just kidding - I tagged you in the sticky thread for relaxed info. Not sure if you saw before.

Some of the more detailed info you are seeking is probably in the length challenges threads of the past.

If there can't be a forum then I think it would be easier if threads could be tagged in some way. I may peruse other threads from time to time but I'm not searching out to see if there are any relaxed questions.

 

[jazzybklyn]

jazzbklyn...how did you find that co-washing was too much manipulation? did you experience a lot of breakage? I'm just curious.

I ask bc for some ppl, they think that styling their hair everyday is too much manipulation in general so you hear a lot of "protective style, protective style, bun,bun,bun" but you have to find what works for you.

When i was relaxed...i co-washed every 2-3 days like clockwork. I loved to wear braidouts, i loved to straighten my hair 2 a month...even tho i really liked to bun...i liked to wear my hair out a lot too. Even though a lot of ladies said that it may be too much manipulation...for them...so i guess what i'm trying to say is...if it was working or you to co-wash...then i'd stick with it. That's with anything for your hair

dont get me wrong i really liked it and i love the waviness the next day from the braid/twist out. I cant say breakage but it seemed like my hair got thinner like my braids were looking skinnier than when i started and my hair was more see through erplexed maybe im crazy. i want to start again especially since summer is here but im scared i dont want thin hair

 

[jazzybklyn]

jazzybklyn - where Brooklyn at??

Just kidding - I tagged you in the sticky thread for relaxed info. Not sure if you saw before.

Some of the more detailed info you are seeking is probably in the length challenges threads of the past.

If there can't be a forum then I think it would be easier if threads could be tagged in some way. I may peruse other threads from time to time but I'm not searching out to see if there are any relaxed questions.

we right here!!! lol
thanks! im going through it now

 

[SmilingElephant]

dont get me wrong i really liked it and i love the waviness the next day from the braid/twist out. I cant say breakage but it seemed like my hair got thinner like my braids were looking skinnier than when i started and my hair was more see through erplexed maybe im crazy. i want to start again especially since summer is here but im scared i dont want thin hair

That's interesting:scratchch

Did you experience a lot of shedding? Have u tried using castor oil on ur scalp?

 

[jazzybklyn]

That's interesting:scratchch

Did you experience a lot of shedding? Have u tried using castor oil on ur scalp?

im not sure how much is normal but i think its a little more than normal. No i never have. Thats another thing i found to be contradicted on here because some say oil on the scalp stop hair from growing

 

[sunnieb]

jazzybklyn - We won't get a forum for relaxed heads. We've tried and failed several times.

I was frustrated like you and I actually left the hair forum for about 6 months. I came back and just started doing research of old threads and getting the info I needed. However, I kept getting PM's from newbie relaxed heads who were hesitant to post. I changed and started posting and bumping like crazy!

I think I know a thread that might help you. I'll go bump it!

 

[FoxxyLocs]

Co-washing & henna don't work for all naturals, and there are plenty of relaxed heads that do both of those on a regular basis. It's not a relaxed or natural thing.

I do think it would be a good idea to be able to see if posters are relaxed, natural, or transitioning. That sour right under your screen name that says "member" would be ideal because that's the only thing that shows on the phone app besides number of posts. We could all do that ourselves without the administrators having to do anything.

 

[SimJam]

I would say that it took a much shorter time for me to find a good routine and get my grow on when relaxed, then I just cruised around the board looking for styles etc. So I can see why threads dedicated to relaxed hair topics can die down

On the other hand Im in 50 'leven challenges that are not relaxed/natural specific - APL, twist/bun for growth, no heat, steam, HOT oil rinse, healthy crown and edges, think I just joined an aloe vera challenge, etc, and I enjoy all of them.

So really there many opportunities to interact on the board no matter what "state" your hair is in

 

[SmilingElephant]

im not sure how much is normal but i think its a little more than normal. No i never have. Thats another thing i found to be contradicted on here because some say oil on the scalp stop hair from growing

It depends on what oils tho. Castor oil is actually absorbed into your skin...and works its magic...while oils like mineral oil mainly just sit on your scalp and keep the magic outerplexed

Now, with mineral oil...i wouldn't put grease on my scalp...however...it can work wonders on your length and ends if you properly moisturize before using it...and it will seal in whatever moisture you put in your hair....but you have to make sure you wash it out properly as well. Mineral oil works like saran wrap. Natural oils are good for the scalp..whether you are relaxed or natural...they actually nourish the hair and skin

 

[jazzybklyn]

It depends on what oils tho. Castor oil is actually absorbed into your skin...and works its magic...while oils like mineral oil mainly just sit on your scalp and keep the magic outerplexed

Now, with mineral oil...i wouldn't put grease on my scalp...however...it can work wonders on your length and ends if you properly moisturize before using it...and it will seal in whatever moisture you put in your hair....but you have to make sure you wash it out properly as well. Mineral oil works like saran wrap. Natural oils are good for the scalp..whether you are relaxed or natural...they actually nourish the hair and skin

U seeeeeee I never knew that. Thanks!

 

[SmilingElephant]

U seeeeeee I never knew that. Thanks!

No problem

 

[niqu92]

dont get me wrong i really liked it and i love the waviness the next day from the braid/twist out. I cant say breakage but it seemed like my hair got thinner like my braids were looking skinnier than when i started and my hair was more see through erplexed maybe im crazy. i want to start again especially since summer is here but im scared i dont want thin hair

Some people's hair just cant take too much manipulation. i dont even remmber how i found this forum but when i did my hair was perfectly fine its not like i was on google searching for ways to grow my hair or anything. [my sig pic is actually from when i joined the forum]so then when i joined, i read all this stuff about co-washing and i got super excited so i started cowashing all the time and then i realized that my hair couldnt take all the manipulation-it was breaking and thinning like crazy. so now i just keep it simple- wash,DC,&rollerset once a week. every now and then i'll do a braidout when i want to do something new.

but i agree there should be a relaxed forum on here, i BARELY come to the hair forum anymore because most of the posts are about natural hair and since im relaxed that doesnt really help me mucherplexed and the relaxed thread is like 1401419414 pages and i aint got time to read all that so yeah as i said im barely in this part of the forum anymore
but you can always catch me in ET or OT im in duur like clockwork lol

 

[shunta]

I noticed this a couple years back as well.

 

[caribeandiva]

It's how the cookie crumbles on LHCF. One season we go natural, next season we get relaxed, then in the next we get texlaxed. One season we all become type 4. Then we're all type 3.... *shrug*

So no, I don't think everyone's going natural. I think you're seeing that because that's what you're probably paying attention to and the few people who are natural for the first time are asking questions about this NEW venture so more of those posts pop up. Those relaxing may not make a song and dance about it because it is a world they've lived before and so know about it and don't need direction on what to do so don't post about it. Plus if they went natural for some "acceptance" reason, they may not want to appear to have "failed" so they just KIM instead of posting a "help me change my mind" thread.

ETA: danysedai, before you joined LHCF 75% of the threads were about relaxed hair--I think you could count the number of naturals on your fingers and toes. I just think that the reason there are more natural threads is because for many, having natural hair is a first-time experience so many have questions, while relaxed hair was always something they knew. Some longtime naturals who are now relaxed don't even post anymore in this forum because again, they probably have a handle on things, but I do see them thanking posts so I know they are around. No one is askin
g questions about relaxed hair because perhaps no one has questions, but when they ask they get answered.

Well said!

 

[Nerd.]

For me, I only came to this site to find out how to properly care for my relaxed hair. Not long after, I read about stretching relaxers—so I tried this as well. Eventually I noticed that there were countless resources available to me on how to transition to natural hair if I ever opted to do so.

That being said, my curiosity was peaked I started toying around with the idea of going natural mainly because I felt confident knowing that I literally had a "how-to" hair manual right at my fingertips, as well as other women to talk to and coach me through a journey that I at one time felt was not an option for me.

Many of us come to LHCF as a relaxed head, but once we are exposed to so many resources and videos about natural hair and transitioning, we experiment, research, and eventually give it a try.

 

[Hairroots]

I've just recently joined and I take information that works for me from both natural and relaxed treads. Neither one works for everyone. We are all here for one purpose. Heathly hair! It all starts from the roots. If you want to know something just ask! Hopefully someone will come to the rescue. Good growings!

 

[reeko43]

I read both relaxed and natural threads. I have learned from both and I share information with my relaxed friends. I do remember threads with inappropriate comments that were offensive to relaxed. At the very least, there were condescending statements that seemed to suggest that relaxed people were clueless sellouts and were slaves to harmful chemicals. I have seen negative statements toward natural members as well. Thankfully all of these incidents were scattered but they were discouraging none the less.I remember being put off as a relaxed member who was still trying to make up my mind about going natural. That being said, there is evidence of intolerance throughout the forum, not just hair related.

I don't understand why there can't be separate forums for naturals and relaxed. However, I am not sure the separation will curb the occasional poster, who is hell bent on drama, from jumping in either forum and starting nonsense.

 

[choctaw]

Definitely not in the real world. I still see a ton of relaxed ladies.

+1

I know very few women with natural hair and their favorite styles are "straight" hair (flat iron, pressing comb). A lot of women extend time between perms until they eventually texlax. Extensions, weaves and wigs are popular options to style natural or transitioning hair. It is great to have so many options to manage and style a variety of textures and lengths.

 

[Misseyl]

sunnieb Nonie Cherrypie - A forum just for relaxed hair should be included here, after-all this is a hair-site. Learning how to take care of hair is what this is about and you use different techniques to handle relaxed or natural hair, so it is only fitting that a forum for each is separate so that you can quickly find information you are looking for -- whether it be for natural or relaxed hair. Why should I be searching all over the place to find out the latest information on protein treatments, relaxers, or the newest conditioner for relaxed hair? Too much work. Like I said earlier Youtube is beginning to look very good to me because I can actually hear what the person is saying and the demonstrations are very good too.

 

[Nix08]

Misseyl I will add that aside from relaxer application/stretching I treat my relaxed hair very much as if it's natural, with success. So don't limit yourself to only relaxed video's and threads...

 

[Nonie]

@sunnieb @Nonie @Cherrypie - A forum just for relaxed hair should be included here, after-all this is a hair-site. Learning how to take care of hair is what this is about and you use different techniques to handle relaxed or natural hair, so it is only fitting that a forum for each is separate so that you can quickly find information you are looking for -- whether it be for natural or relaxed hair. Why should I be searching all over the place to find out the latest information on protein treatments, relaxers, or the newest conditioner for relaxed hair? Too much work. Like I said earlier Youtube is beginning to look very good to me because I can actually hear what the person is saying and the demonstrations are very good too.

@Misseyl, I still disagree. Like I said when I joined the forum, we naturals were the minority. I still searched for info and actually I've become quite good at it and it was never a problem. I don't know why y'all acting like searching is such a tall order. Also when I joined the forum, there were only like 5 type 4 naturals. If I wanted a regimen or had questions about my hair type, I had to look for those folks to get direction, or I PMed them.

I am not a member of other hair forums and it is because I have loved how LHCF has had us all in one place. I have learned a lot from relaxed ladies and would have missed out on that if they were in some "exclusive forum". I would have had no reason to go there, and I'd have miss out.

Also as the links I posted yesterday of topics on relaxed showed that when relaxed ladies ask questions, naturals jump in to help. I don't see many of you whining relaxed ladies helping out. Like the first link which was of someone whose relaxed hair appeared damaged, naturals chimed in with info that pertains to all hair. Had that thread been in a relaxed forum, she would have missed out on that contribution.

As someone else said, what next? Type 4 sub-forum? Then 4A vs 4B? Then 4B vs CNapp since there are people who swear there's a difference? C'mon nah! Let's stop the madness. This forum has done well in the 8 years I've been here just having the hair forum as it is. I have not seen any of the lunacy I see in other forums where there is an "us against them" mentality. I also do find it rather interesting that people who were once against the separation have jumped ship. You all joined this forum when it was like this and stuck around because you found the forum helpful just as it was. So why not let others benefit just as you have from having all the info in one place? Sounds to me rather selfish that when you were wet behind the ears and in need of growth and info, the forum was OK as it is and BTW these are some of the people I looked up to coz they were so knowledgeable and I learned so much from them. So clearly the forum being one-stop-shop served them well. So is there a whole new breed of lazy bums who can't be bothered to do a search since y'all using "hate to search" as the main reason why there should be a separate forum? Hair info has not changed much in the last ten years, so you can bet your bottom dollar, whatever it is you want to know is already posted here. Y'all are sounding like spoiled li'l brats who can't stand it that it's not your birthday so you're not "in the lights".

@Misseyl, if you have a question and can't be bothered to search, why not ask it in the HAIR FORUM so your fellow relaxed ladies can help you out? What bloody secrets are you guys afraid to expose? Damaged hair? We've been there. We could also learn a few tips from the advice you get. Hate your relaxed hair? So? No one's going to be like "Hahahaha...that'll teach you to leave your hair the way God made it." Sometimes folks post about being ill from relaxers or losing all their hair and someone will suggest that maybe relaxers aren't for them. OK, maybe that can be annoying if you are stuck on relaxers, but hey the truth does hurt and the truth will set you free and heal if you heed it. Apart from these examples I've given, I honestly cannot see any other reason relaxed folks are shy about posting questions on a forum that is open to discuss all hair.How many times have naturals posted about folks insulting their hair? And how many times have relaxed ladies done the same? No need to keep score coz I can't even think of one time I've seen a negative thread on relaxed hair. I'm sorry but y'all are acting like some spoiled, whiny chirren.

So yeah, if you don't wanna search for relaxed thread topics, then bloody don't. Post the darn question you need an answer to dammit! And just to show you what a lame excuse "I hate to have to search" is: even when every thread used to be on relaxed hair and no one talked about natural hair, or even 4B hair, folks with relaxed hair still had to do a search for specific issues. Heck, *I* have to do a search for specific natural hair topics when someone asks a question I know was discussed before. So c'mon y'all, GTFOOH with the excuses and stop being party poopers.

But I shouldn't be surprised. Y'all keep messing with a good thing so why should this be any different? You have a good hair regimen...you can't leave it well alone. Gotta try the next thing that someone else is doing. And you wonder why you are always looking for solutions to problems you created yourselves. *sucks teef*

 

[Nayna]

I can understand wanting a sub forum for naturals and relaxed hair, because honestly I when I look on the first two pages the threads are mostly challenges and questions regarding products. This is a forum though; I'm not understanding why anyone that can't find what they are looking for wouldn't simply ask?