Not Me, Not Now. What relaxed heads say about going natural!

[Mzz Mac]

I'm totally down with being relaxed.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I have healthy relaxed hair; but, if I consider natural hair, I'd do so with the bc. Maybe one day I'll do that. You never know.

 

[sharifeh]

OK now I see why the other thread was started
.

what other thread?

 

[sylver2]

i enjoy being relaxed!

 

[wannabelong]

i enjoy being relaxed!

Co-sign. I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Junebug D]

I never say never anymore. I was natural for a number of years, now I am relaxed. I'll more than likely be locked within the next 5 years, knowing me & my hair schizophrenia. It's all good. I guess it's more important to me that I enjoy my hair. In whatever state it's in. Once it becomes more stress than joy, then it's time for me to change.

 

[yardgirl]

I like being relaxed. I don't want to be natural. It's just hair to me. Enough said.

 

[Highly Favored8]

I was natural all of my life before I decided to relax my hair about 8 years ago. OP you have to do what is best for you. It is your hair and you can do what you want to do. Do feel the need to jump on the "bandwagon" just because everyone else is going relaxed/ natural. Do what makes you feel happy.

 

[honey4real]

I'm relaxed now (and have been for years). My hair is the healthiest it has ever been. For a while I thought I would use a relaxer forever as long as my hair is healthy. A few months later I realized that I would eventually (maybe 2 or 3 years from now) want to transition to being natural.

Then I saw "Good Hair" a few weeks ago and the part about relaxers FREAKED.ME.OUT. Before the movie was over I realized that I couldn't responsibly get another relaxer so now I'm transitioning (only 9 or 10 weeks in though!).

We'll see how this goes...

I am curious to know what was in the movie that freaked you out ? Please share.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

Not Me, Not Now. What Relaxed heads say to going Natural.

Think long and hard about any change. I know that we women need support because we're so guilted in doing xyz with our hair. Some relaxed head is going to poo-poo the idea and some natural haircare nazi is going to attempt to shame you into going another route. Do YOU and don't feel shame nor guilt of whichever kind in your decision.

 

[honey4real]

Southern Belle
I cant see the pic ? Can you re-attach it please ? All i see is a red X

 

[Sugar]

I'm relaxed and its just hair to me. An accessory. I like wearing my hair straight and I'm not one for braids or twists. Maybe the occasional afro puff. But I prefer my hair straight and its healthy so there's no need to transition.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

I wish I could turn back the hands of time when I was a sophomore in H.S. Me and a classmate were in a challenge (way before LHCF) to stop relaxing our hair and we'd exchange tips on how to take care of it on wash days etc. Well I had gone over 6 months without a relaxer, I had about two inches of thick new growth unstretched and I asked my older sister to braid it for me and her having a hard time getting through my new growth kept on in my ear "You NEED a relaxer!" "You NEED a relaxer" "I can't do this, you NEED a relaxer!" And I broke and relaxed.

I wish I hadn't let her influence break me out of the challenge because I was on my way to a beautiful natural mane. Now being relaxed and having hair length goals I can't see myself going natural but I never say never. I enjoy my relaxed hair but I do commend and admire the women who have gone natural. Whatever floats your boat.

I have noticed over the last couple of year an influx of natural heads on LHCF, I took a long break from coming to the hair forum and when I come back I'm reading tips and posts and most of them have to do with natural hair care. Not all, but a vast majority it seems, at least to me. Relaxed and naturals take care of their hair differently and when you have a general post on hair care you have conflicting views on tips because there is a mixture of the two in each thread. This has me thinking, Is it time for LHCF to split the Hair Care forum into 2, one for Naturals to share tips and one for Relaxed to share tips? I think it will be helpful to the ladies set on their choice of being either or. Even if a relaxed wants to go natural she can peruse the natural forum and vice versa with naturals considering relaxing.

 

[natalie20121]

I think some women feel the need to justify why they are natural because there is a misconception that "natural" look down on relaxed heads but I really don't think that's the case. Natural are natural because they want to be and its just that simple.

I've had a relaxer in my hair since I was 11 and now at 28 with 2 major breakage issues from bad relaxers and really thin hair I've realized that natural is my best bet because no one can do my hair harm but me and i don't have to risk someone burning me or not washing the relaxer out. I personally love my hair straight and have just decided that I will still blowdry and straighten my hair often when my transition is over.

Some people do great with relaxed hair... I did for years but i'm at a point where I am dissatisfied with the condidtion of my hair. I say do what is best for YOU. I don't think natural hair is a "band wagon" that everyone should jump on. It should be something you do because you want to.

 

[Honey Bee]

Is it time for LHCF to split the Hair Care forum into 2, one for Naturals to share tips and one for Relaxed to share tips?

I understand what makes you ask this, I've been thinking the same thing myself recently, but, as a newbie, one of the things I initially loved about this site was the camaraderie between sisters, and the fact that there wasn't a big divide between natural and relaxed. I paid my $6.50 precisely because I didn't see the expected conflict and old animosities. Unfortunately, that has changed recently, but that doesn't mean we should throw the baby out with the bathwater. Instead, we should work on addressing what's happening in our 'community'.

 

[beana]

I'm relaxed right now... but I love reading hair tips and viewing fotkis by both natural and relaxed ladies. Both my sisters are natural and i love giving them tips and tricks to assist them in their hair journey.

I dont feel i need a reason to be relaxed, but i do like setting goals for myself. I want to see how long, thick and healthy i can grow my hair with a relaxer. To be honest, i've never had outstanding success with this , but i made the decision to give one last good effort (18 months or so) before i decide to transition officially. I now have more hair knowledge than ive ever had about relaxed hair, i've found excellent staples, im more patient, in a nutshell im just better prepared to give it my all.

Now all that being said... my "reason" for wanting to go natural is simple... Im 100% positive my hair will grow longer, thicker, healthier and i know MBL is in my future as a natural. But once i go natural , its permanent, i never want to relax again.

 

[Tee]

I am relaxed because I like it and it's what I want to do. Natural is not my desire.

 

[Tee]

I understand what makes you ask this, I've been thinking the same thing myself recently, but, as a newbie, one of the things I initially loved about this site was the camaraderie between sisters, and the fact that there wasn't a big divide between natural and relaxed. I paid my $6.50 precisely because I didn't see the expected conflict and old animosities. Unfortunately, that has changed recently, but that doesn't mean we should throw the baby out with the bathwater. Instead, we should work on addressing what's happening in our 'community'.

Dang you can tell I dont be on the hair boards often. For real??

 

[Duff]

I have noticed over the last couple of year an influx of natural heads on LHCF, I took a long break from coming to the hair forum and when I come back I'm reading tips and posts and most of them have to do with natural hair care. Not all, but a vast majority it seems, at least to me. Relaxed and naturals take care of their hair differently and when you have a general post on hair care you have conflicting views on tips because there is a mixture of the two in each thread. This has me thinking, Is it time for LHCF to split the Hair Care forum into 2, one for Naturals to share tips and one for Relaxed to share tips? I think it will be helpful to the ladies set on their choice of being either or. Even if a relaxed wants to go natural she can peruse the natural forum and vice versa with naturals considering relaxing.

my answer to the bolded is NO! I learn tips from both relaxed heads and natural heads. there is no need for separation. just the need for less sensitivity. not all are pushing one over the other.

 

[wild curls raquelle]

Having had the opportunity to be on both sides (more natural though).
Anyways I am for healthy as a opposed to natural vs relaxed. Healthy hair is more important than anything. I love beautiful hair and I will complement the bone straight hair or natural hair if it's healthy and beautiful will all my kinks curls and confusion in my hair in a heart beat. Also going natural is a personal journey and can be quite emotional. And for some reason most women have an emotional attachment to hair. So if someone says that they can't I don't fault them because you don't necessarily know what will happen once you cross over to the other side (it goes both ways too). I find that most people who go natural later in life generally end up using transitioning as a starting point to a healthier lifestyle for the better. Just keep it healthy

 

[Honey Bee]

Dang you can tell I dont be on the hair boards often. For real??

A lil' bit. There's definitely a 'natural is better' vibe floating through the air, but it's easily avoidable. I just don't feel like I should have to avoid it: it shouldn't be here. And I didn't pay a latte's worth of money, lol, to avoid stuff. I came here because I found the community to be a supportive one, regardless of one's styling choices. I thought the point here was healthy, and maybe, long, hair.

eta: I just wanted to cosign Duff and say, no, it's definitely not everybody, not at all.

 

[BotanyGrl]

A lil' bit. There's definitely a 'natural is better' vibe floating through the air, but it's easily avoidable. I just don't feel like I should have to avoid it: it shouldn't be here. And I didn't pay a latte's worth of money, lol, to avoid stuff. I came here because I found the community to be a supportive one, regardless of one's styling choices. I thought the point here was healthy, and maybe, long, hair.

eta: I just wanted to cosign Duff and say, no, it's definitely not everybody, not at all.

Really? I don't feel that way at all I think some posters (natural & relaxed) are just way too sensitive. LHCF hasn't changed since I joined...

 

[MummysGirl]

I agree, no need for 2 separate forums! I learned a lot from both relaxed and natural ladies while I was still relaxing and most of this knowledge is still useful as a transitioner. From the looks of things, this same knowledge will be very useful to me as a natural next year

I don't believe there is a divide, but I do believe there are naturals who think the best way to go is natural and make that known very clearly here. I do not agree with the idea that people who relax their hair are in denial and not accepting who they really are, etc etc (It bores me). There are also some relaxed/texlaxed ladies who, probably because of comments from the aforementioned naturals, are very defensive about staying relaxed.

But really.... it's YOUR hair... do what YOU want. Noone here will take care of your hair for you so you don't owe anyone any explanations about what you do to your hair.

HHG!!!!!

 

[wontonfm]

I am curious to know what was in the movie that freaked you out ? Please share.

They showed how strong the chemicals in relaxer are through demonstrations. The relaxer chemical burned a whole through a chicken breast. And then when they left a pop can in the relaxer solution for 3 or 4 hours the aluminum can DISINTEGRATED.

Now, I know you don't leave relaxer on your head for 3 or 4 hours but it made me wonder what it's doing to my body over the time that it is on. And also the fact that relaxer is applied so close to the brain really made me think twice.

I'm choosing my poisons more carefully now

 

[Honey Bee]

I think some posters (natural & relaxed) are just way too sensitive.

Maybe that's what I'm seeing, then.

(It bores me).

Me too.