Does he have potential?

[Slave4Hair]

Hey ladies!

I met this great guy. Really cute...though I was initially hesitant to date him because he is not black (he's Korean and white). I gave it a shot anyway and I have been pleasantly surprised

My only concern is that he isn't making a lot of money. The other night while out to dinner he admitted to me he is only making $45,000 I'm not a gold digger or anything, but I make a lot more than that. We live in Washington, DC...I don't get how he can live off of that here!But anyways, we are both in our mid 20's (he's 26). He just graduated with his masters in public policy in the spring and is currently working on capital hill for a senator. Do you think his salary will more than likely increase? I know I sound like a gold digger but I am sick of dating guys who are still working their way up, I don't want to waste my time anymore.

Besides that I like everything about him. He is very ambitious. At the age of 26 he has traveled all over the world, lived in Japan, lived in Australia, went to school in London. I will admit he is really financially responsible and saves almost every penny.Do you think I should over look his salary and give him a chance?

 

[firecracker]

Date him til you find someone that has already reached said potential and isn't a general DC A-hole. That is all I got. LOL

 

[Slave4Hair]

Date him til you find someone that has already reached said potential and isn't a general DC A-hole. That is all I got. LOL

Lol yep that's what i'm thinking. Though this guy seems REALLY interested in me and wants to be exclusive. I would feel kinda guilty

 

[MzLady78]

I came in here ready to go on a rant about "potential" but after reading, I don't think it applies here. I was expecting a completely different description of his situation.

I don't think he's in bad shape for 26, personally. But if you have concerns, then like previous stated, keep dating around.

 

[FlyyBohemian]

My answer may not be popular, but I'm in the same age range as you guys. I'm 27. This is the time that people are usually building themselves up. I say give him a chance. If he is a good guy that treats you well then that's all that matters. The money will come, but good, quality people are hard to come by. Also you say he is very financially responsible. It's better to have a guy that can manage the little he makes over a guy who makes 6-figures and lives like a millionaire. I'm from the DC area. Don't get caught up in the scene. Be above that.

P.S. I do have one word of caution to add though. A lot of times white men can have higher standards for the non-white women they date. Sometimes a black woman has to be on their A-game in every area for them to give her a chance. Be nice and sweet, but be stingy with your funds. See what he is about, why he is interested in you, and what he wants. He could be as great as you say, but keep your guard up in the beginning.

 

[Briabiggles]

Give him a chance. Money isn't everything. I make more than my SO. He's a teacher. I knew that from the beginning. Why would you give up someone who could be *the one* because he makes less than you?

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

Give him a chance. He's on track for what he's done. He JUST got out of grad school. Do you expect him to have the 100k job. company car, and multi level house in Bethesda already?!

I graduated law school at 25 and my first job was 32k a year later at my second job at 26 i made 35k.

Give him a chance to build his net worth and income level (just like I'm sure you've been doing since you entered the work force). And remover he is most likely in an entry level position on the Hill. None of those pay a lot.

 

[firecracker]

FlyyBohemian I think your post is spot on.

 

[Sameera]

At 26 he isn't doing bad. You mentioned he saves a lot, is he generous? If he's smart and ambitious his salary will quickly increase.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

I say date him and other guys. I made more than my SO when we met(he was in grad school) but he still had more money in his account than i did. lol. he's now making way more so im glad i gave him a chance

 

[TayMac]

I would give him a chance. His income isn't high but being good with your finances in place with a high COL is an awesome trait IMO. I'm sure he hasn't maxed out his earning potential at this point. His salary could double in the next 1-2 years.

It is up to you.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Keep him, sounds like he's doing something with himself and will quickly build income.

Around here, $45,000 is a "good job." Not sure what the liveable incomes in DC are like.

 

[hopeful]

At 26 most people are building their careers. I could see your concerns if he were 36, but at 26? I don't get it. The Korean thing would be more of a worry for me. Many careers with great potential don't pay well in the beginning, that's just how it is.

 

[Slave4Hair]

My answer may not be popular, but I'm in the same age range as you guys. I'm 27. This is the time that people are usually building themselves up. I say give him a chance. If he is a good guy that treats you well then that's all that matters. The money will come, but good, quality people are hard to come by. Also you say he is very financially responsible. It's better to have a guy that can manage the little he makes over a guy who makes 6-figures and lives like a millionaire. I'm from the DC area. Don't get caught up in the scene. Be above that.

P.S. I do have one word of caution to add though. A lot of times white men can have higher standards for the non-white women they date. Sometimes a black woman has to be on their A-game in every area for them to give her a chance. Be nice and sweet, but be stingy with your funds. See what he is about, why he is interested in you, and what he wants. He could be as great as you say, but keep your guard up in the beginning.

Thanks for the tips. Being in the DC area you see so many people doing well that sometimes you forget that it is actually more common for 20 year olds to pull 40-50k salaries versus 100k+. I don't know what it is about this area but it seems like everyone is an overachiever!

 

[Slave4Hair]

At 26 most people are building their careers. I could see your concerns if he were 36, but at 26? I don't get it. The Korean thing would be more of a worry for me. Many careers with great potential don't pay well in the beginning, that's just how it is.

I guess I'm comparing him to my ex. He was making around 70k out of grad school so when he told me 45 I was like erplexed

 

[MzLady78]

I guess I'm comparing him to my ex. He was making around 70k out of grad school so when he told me 45 I was like erplexed

That's all well and fine but clearly there were other issues since he's your ex.

 

[awhyley]

Sounds like he's on the right path - finished grad school, working for a senator, making connections, saves regularly and wants to continue dating you; so it would be narrow-minded of you to let that salary get in the way. (He has realizable potential, but I still think it's too early to go exclusive, but that's just me.)

 

[okange76]

Sometimes getting a man on the come up is not such a bad idea. He has goals and is actively working to accomplish them with tangible results. He is not a bum judging by what you said about him. Some of these rich established men that people are chasing after are super jerks and see that you should be grateful that he gave you the time of day. If this man is treating you right and is generous and responsible with his time and money, go for it. Until he gives you a reason to bail, give him a chance. Long term planning can work for you in the long run. Just date, keep your eyes open and observe. His actions will provide an answer for you.

 

[Fine 4s]

Ooooh good thing Michelle could see the gem our prez is. She would have missed out thinking like this! Nothing to add on my part just a thought that came to mind.

 

[lux10023]

add him to the roster--the rotation..and let the chips fall where they fall

easy fix!
women think way toooooo deeply about these things...