Does anyone prefer their hair shorter? (long)

I

inthepink

New Member
Does anyone feel that their hair looks better when it is bra strap length or shorter like shoulder length? Does anyone think their hair looks better when it is in a v-shape/u-shape or slightly layered or long-layered?

When I wear my hair straight, I don't like it.
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I feel like it's so long that it doesn't have a shape...it's just SO boring looking to me. I honestly feel too self-conscious to even leave the house with it down.

When I had my hair relaxed, I always wore it down. I did not own a big mirror to check out my hair everyday before leaving the house. Could it have looked like crap for MANY years in the back and I never knew b/c I never looked and thought it looked ok b/c it did in the front? (I did get compliments now and then.)

Compliments....I wonder sometimes if people just compliment your hair for being long simply because it is long...not because it looks beautiful? I went to the salon for a trim yesterday. I had flatironed my hair and so it wasn't salon perfect by any means...and the ends were straight...I didn't want to curl them since I was getting a trim. Well, the girl who put my robe on me complimented my hair saying "Your hair is so pretty and long." Of course I'm thinking "Wait a minute, let me show you my breakage."
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When I look at others pictures, I see some beautiful hair that is bra strap length or shorter and slightly layered.

I want my hair to look nice when I choose to wear it straight and when I choose to wear braidouts during my transition. What style/shape can I get for this? I want to be happy with my hair now!
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Sorry that this is so long...anyone have any thoughts or understand what I am going through?
 
I for one understand. When I got my first hair cut last year, my hair was the best!!!! I got compliments from everyone!!!!! I guess compared to my long hair (all one length), it had more shine, swing, shape and bounce. I had a blunt bob with slight layers in the front. And as it grew out in the layers it looked even better
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Layers did my hair justice.

Hmmm maybe slight layers in the front and gradual long layers toward the back, would be beneficial to you?
 
Well, I got my hair PAST b/s (a victory for me) BUT not all of it and it was straggly. But I mean I it was there right?? I did not want to cut it... Well I was so self-concious to wear it down, b/c I knew it was straggly back there. I cut it my self. 4 inches. So it would all be close to even. Well you know what? I liked having even hair that was shorter than b/s. And I love that "freshly-trimmed" look.
 
Your hair appears very beautiful and healthy from your pictures. It sounds like you are in a bit of a hair slump. Perhaps you should wait for it to pass or consider getting a layered style. I have graduated layers, with the U and all, and I have always liked layers. Also, my hair grows that way (way faster in the back than the front). So when I get to bra strap, of course, I am still going to have layers. I also have a face shape that would not be good for one length of hair. It would just drag me down. So when I reach my goal, I know that it won't be one length and I don't want that because it won't flatter ME. That being said, everyone is different. Think long and hard about what you want to do. You could just be in a bit of a funk right now, or bored with your hair. You are in transition, so you might feel limited by that too because y ou are working with two textures. I think your hair is beautiful, but it is on your head everyday, so it is hard for you to see it as others see it. I think that the compliments are real. Think about if layers are what you really want and if you know in your heart that you won't regret it because you did it on a whim, then go for it. But really give it some thought. I made a bad choice once when I was in a hair slump. Just give it serious thought and don't be hasty. I hope you feel better about your beautiful hair.
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henrilou said:
Well, I got my hair PAST b/s (a victory for me) BUT not all of it and it was straggly. But I mean I it was there right?? I did not want to cut it... Well I was so self-concious to wear it down, b/c I knew it was straggly back there. I cut it my self. 4 inches. So it would all be close to even. Well you know what? I liked having even hair that was shorter than b/s. And I love that "freshly-trimmed" look.

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Oh, I definitely think you have straggly ends, you should cut them b/c your hair will automatically "look" better and healthier. I dealt with that issue back in December. My hair is now long, even, and relatively healthy. It's just that I don't necessarily like it or think it looks pretty all the time...
 
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NubianAngel said:
How long is your natural hair now? Maybe a chop down to your natural hair give you some excitement
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that might not be sucha bad idea. it would be a drastic change.(a good one) if the cut is nice.
i always think it looks good when people do something drsticly different. people will have gotton used to seeing you with your hair one way. you would look totaly diifferent if you change it
just a thought
 
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NubianAngel said:
How long is your natural hair now? Maybe a chop down to your natural hair give you some excitement
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Oh no! That's too short! Not looking for anything that dramatic!! I still want length - I just want a style that will allow me to enjoy it more so that I can continue with my transition.
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When I was growing out my relaxer I also didn't like my hair all the time. I didn't have problems with breakage or anything. But, it bothered me a lot that there was a huge difference in thickness from my natural to relaxed hair. What got me through that difficult period, was wearing my hair curly all the time. I wore a straw set hair style for at least 6 months. The curls helped even everything (texture & length) out.

I am one who loves short hair. I love to cut my hair really short every other year or so. The tough in between lengths growout, has stopped me from cutting this year. I decided that I like my hair long enough to wear a ponytail.

I think a fresh cut would probably improve your styling options. The best part about having your hair cut into a style is you won't have to work so hard to make the style happen. When your hair has no particular style or shape everything has to start from scratch. If that makes sense. Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose.
 
I know what you mean. My longer hair doesn't hold a wrap. It NEVER does..the front layers always look nice..but the back hangs there..and my hair is MUCH shorter than yours. I remember you asking if you should go ahead and get layers a little while ago..why not just go ahead and do it. Since you are growting out your relaxer anyway, you don't have to worry about growing out the layers later.
 
When I wore my hair long I always kept it in layers and my hair slightly grows in layers. I heard that layers are really good for curly hair too. But since your hair is long maybe you should get longer layers in the back and shorters layers in the front. But let me warn you, with a layered cut it's a little harder to pull off simple styles so make sure your layers are nice and subtle. HIH
 
*bumping* for more responses

Would like to hear stories from others. Just looking to see what people have done in similar situations. This isn't just a "please help me" post!
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Hairlove, I def know how you feel. I am growing out my bangs and they are now under my chin. The problem is is that I'm sooooooo bored w/my look! My goal is to have a Pocohontas look (brastrap all around) but I'm hating how narrow my face looks w/o any fullness from layers on the side nor bangs. I think I look blah... but I've achieved bs in the back and that kinda keeps me going ....*sigh* However, I was THIS close to cutting it last night to match my sides (2" past shoulders) and regain some fullness.

It's like, now that I've reached BS I have nothing more to prove to myself so just cut it.... but then I'm like, well what about Pocohontas?
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Hell, my hair is much shorter than shoulder length, but I never thought I could pull off a short style because of my big head.
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I love this length! Low maintenance and more versatility. I'm going to be getting a trim soon because my hair is growing out fast.
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I love long layers. I think they're beautiful on any length of hair. I recently got my layered cut again and I love it. I'm still 4 to 6 inches from my BS goal; but I was never gonna give up my layers. I like the movement of them and the way they seem to play around my face. Plus I just think they're sexy. My face isn't complimented by straight hair hanging on either side of it. I think you'd really love a few layers, just make SURE that the stylist knows YOU DO NOT WANT TO LOSE ANY LENGTH ON YOUR LONGEST LAYER! Play with your hair and enjoy it....You've worked to so hard to get there....wouldn't it be ashame not to really be able to strut your stuff!
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ditto to your post hair love...

I actually dont like my hair when its all one length...to me its looks so boring...I like a V-shape or just some layers...I dont really wear my hair straight either its usually in a really big braidout or puffy pony tail( liek rudy from the cosby show)...

For me when I wear my hair down I dont really like all of the attention because to me "its just hair" and then you get chicks staring you down like trying to figure out if its real or not...

So for those two reasons i wear my hair in natural looking styles most of the time..plus their more healthyier for my hair in regrads to maintiang a natural look..which invloves less products...I am currently texturized so I love the versatility it gives me and honestly I have had long hair since childhood so now I am into exploring what else is out there..besides a wrap and bumping my ends which i did for the first 16 yrs of my life...

I personally think my hair looks better when its like two months post perm/texturizer sicne I enjoy the fullness and the thickness that comes alogn with 4a/b hair
 
I prefer long hair,since I have always had long hair,but since I cut off my relaxed ends, depending on how I wear my hair, I look a bit more mature.
 
My hair looks best in a 'v' shape. When dingbats trim off my V, it always grows back and it gives my hair an extra 1" right down the middle of my back. Since my hair has been cut in all types of layers, for some reason, it (my hair) likes that look and won't allow itself 2 grow out...Dang Hair
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Even this last 'trim' the dingbat gave me, i still have my 'never to leave me' layers.
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I, personally, thought i looked best with my mary j. blige back in the day layered cut. It was a little longer then shoulder length and banging. I'll never forget that cut b/c i have pictures and look at them from time to time
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Shhh, don't tell nobobdy
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I understand not wanting to lose your length Hairlove.

Personally, if I had your length and I was transitioning I would most likely keep it at whatever length looked best during the transition (even if it meant BSS length as opposed to waist) and add a layer or two in front (a long one - long enough to be pulled completely back if you want to wear it up) for some pizazz.....

When your hair is all natural you'll need some layers anyway to avoid that tent head look - so you might as well get them now....

I agree that shorter, healthier hair with some shape looks FAR better (on me too!) than longer "blah" hair....this is true even if the hair is healthy. I also don't think it matters whether your hair is BS or waist - long is long - and with the length of your torso (ur tall, yes?) it will still look longer than most.

If you know a good stylist I say go in for a little shaping. Just make sure it can all go u if you want it too. With layers, that's the most annoying part, but if it's done right, it's fine.
 
Thanks everyone for your inputs, thoughts, opinions, and suggestions!

I have given myself till September to make a decision. For one, it's too hot for a straight hairdo right now. Two, I should give myself some time before making a decision. And three, I'll give myself a chance for more length when I do make a decision.

What I'm thinking is that I will get some type of layers. Even if it is just three layers. That will give me three separate areas of curl and should hopefully add a little pizazz to when I wear my hair curly or straight.

Like Tracy has said, I am pretty sure I want layers when I am fully natural so why not do it now (or soon anyway). I figure I never did anything interesting with my hair long all those years. So now is my chance. Next year this time, I may be fully natural so I may as well try a new style and enjoy my hair during the meantime.

How do you ask a stylist for layers?

I want three separate chunks (kind of like Beverly's layers) - I don't want feathered layers that I can't separate.
 
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Bublnbrnsuga said:
I prefer long hair,since I have always had long hair,but since I cut off my relaxed ends, depending on how I wear my hair, I look a bit more mature.

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Generally, I prefer long hair, too. But I still consider bra strap length to be long. And I have no plans to go any shorter than that right now. I am considering starting to trim my hair gradually to get rid of the relaxed ends so I may as well enjoy that anyway, right?
 
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DahomeyAmazon said:
I think a fresh cut would probably improve your styling options. The best part about having your hair cut into a style is you won't have to work so hard to make the style happen. When your hair has no particular style or shape everything has to start from scratch. If that makes sense. Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose.

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Very good point! I'm sick of working to make a style - especially when my hair is straight! I feel like I have to spread it out or put it over one shoulder or do a braidout. I would like it to fall into place for a change - at least to some degree!
 
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MoezThunder said:
I love long layers. I think they're beautiful on any length of hair. I recently got my layered cut again and I love it. I'm still 4 to 6 inches from my BS goal; but I was never gonna give up my layers. I like the movement of them and the way they seem to play around my face. Plus I just think they're sexy. My face isn't complimented by straight hair hanging on either side of it. I think you'd really love a few layers, just make SURE that the stylist knows YOU DO NOT WANT TO LOSE ANY LENGTH ON YOUR LONGEST LAYER! Play with your hair and enjoy it....You've worked to so hard to get there....wouldn't it be ashame not to really be able to strut your stuff!
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good point about not losing length from the longest layer. I will have to remember that. The woman who will most likely do it does not seem to be scissor happy from what I've seen. She gave me a trim on saturday and only took off about half an inch just as she showed me.
 
I personally prefer long hair. When I did the big chop I HAD TO put some sort of extension b/c I felt naked. I like the big hair look.
I know what you mean about your hair feeling like it's boring, I go through that alot too sometimes. That's when I buy a wig or weave to change the color or length.
 
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saddity1 said:
I personally prefer long hair. When I did the big chop I HAD TO put some sort of extension b/c I felt naked. I like the big hair look.
I know what you mean about your hair feeling like it's boring, I go through that alot too sometimes. That's when I buy a wig or weave to change the color or length.

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I've never worn wigs or weaves. I don't know. It's just not me...whatever that means. I guess I just don't feel comfortable. I admire those who do - as long as they are healthy nice looking weaves!
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I know how you feel about not being comfortable with weaves or wigs. I wan't a phonytail or cornrows with hair added, but I feel like I'm cheating and the phonytails and cornrows look obvious.
 
Hairlove-
I feel the same way. I straightened my hair for my B-day back in April. I didn't post the pics b/c I didn't like them. I felt awkward with it straight. I ended up doing a cond. wash the next day or so just to get the texture and waves back into it.
 
atlien - I think you misundstood my post. My issue is not dead thin ends - I got rid of those back in December. Since I am transitioning my relaxed hair will naturally look a little thinner than my natural hair - just the nature of the beast. So, it's not that I think my ends are bad - they are actually in VERY good shape!

It's more of wanting a style - something that looks pretty and fluffy...not that blunt shaped hair that I have right now. I hope that makes sense.
 
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