Do you or will you submit to your husband?

[SleekandBouncy]

After I receive a few responses I will follow up with a detailing of the situation behind why I ask.
Being that a literal interpretation of the passage would be to submit all the time, not just when you agree. What if he asks that you stop working out/gym, or end a hobbie like painting or seeing your family. Or situations where he has choosen to disipline one child in a manner that you don't support, do you pray on it and accept that the consequences of his actions may have bad results but follow his command anyway?

From married women I would love to know how this works on a practical daily basis, if he wants to watch a particular show and you don't or wants you to leave the room when he's on the phone, just daily stuff. How does that work?

 

[GodsPromises]

It takes pray and pray and pray. I have learned to submit for most things.

In my situation, it may be a littlle different. My husband don't tell me what to do most times and when he does I usually listen because it must be something that he feels strongly about.

Now there are many times when I may not agree with him but will go along with his decision. I do this because God did put him as head, what I do is go along with his decison and then pray about the sitution. Alot of time my dh will come back to me and say that I was right and he was wrong. I can truly say that I can't think of too many times when my dh has made a decison and it tured out wrong for the family.

The one thing that I haven't submitted to my husband about is me wearing makeup. When he met me I was wearing makeup. I have cut down on how much I wear but I do still wear it.

I hope that my post make sense. I guess I can say that I do submit to my husband most of the time.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

There's a really great thread on this somewhere...I'm going to find it and bump it because it speaks on these very topics, and I thought it was quite interesting.

In short, I think this is why it's important to not be unequally yoked. A man of God will be seeking God's guidance in all that He does and behaving accordingly. If a man loves his wife as God loves the church, there won't the friction that submission sometimes causes. IMO, it's really about being sure you marry a man who is worthy of submission and understands what it's really about in a Godly sense, not a worldly sense.

ETA: Here's the link to the thread I referenced: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=74367&highlight=submission

 

[mrsmeredith]

My hubby is a GOD fearing man and has the heart of GOD. We may not agree all the time but he has the final say in everything. If he is wrong he will come to me afterwards and correct it if need be but I submit to him and he respects and considers my feelings. Thats very important, that your hubby considers you in everything. That way whatever decision is made, its not about what he wants but what we want. He will never go against me and I will never go against him. We make decisions together but he ultimately has the final say so. But as long has his heart and face is toward the Lord, I will trust his decisions because I know that GOD led him that way.

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

In short, I think this is why it's important to not be unequally yoked. A man of God will be seeking God's guidance in all that He does and behaving accordingly. If a man loves his wife as God loves the church, there won't the friction that submission sometimes causes. IMO, it's really about being sure you marry a man who is worthy of submission and understands what it's really about in a Godly sense, not a worldly sense.

Yep...what she said...I plan to submit to the above described type of man....

 

[GlamourGirl]

There's a really great thread on this somewhere...I'm going to find it and bump it because it speaks on these very topics, and I thought it was quite interesting.

In short, I think this is why it's important to not be unequally yoked. A man of God will be seeking God's guidance in all that He does and behaving accordingly. If a man loves his wife as God loves the church, there won't the friction that submission sometimes causes. IMO, it's really about being sure you marry a man who is worthy of submission and understands what it's really about in a Godly sense, not a worldly sense.

ETA: Here's the link to the thread I referenced: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=74367&highlight=submission

ITA with everything in this post. I know that the man God sends me will be a man after His (God's) heart and so I know that he will be in submission to the father, therefore I wont have a problem submitting to him.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Divine Inspiration
In short, I think this is why it's important to not be unequally yoked. A man of God will be seeking God's guidance in all that He does and behaving accordingly. If a man loves his wife as God loves the church, there won't the friction that submission sometimes causes. IMO, it's really about being sure you marry a man who is worthy of submission and understands what it's really about in a Godly sense, not a worldly sense.

Yep...what she said...I plan to submit to the above described type of man....

Thank you very much for the Divine, I am going to print that out!

Speak of the more practical aspects of submission. How does adhering to the scripture work on a daily basis and areas of personal preference (wanting to watch "his" tv show, vacation destinations, or even something as small as where to eat out). Since even the most blessed religious figures don't always agree, what happens when you simply don't agree on an topic but are otherwise equally yoked?

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Speak of the less abstract and more practical aspects of submission. How does adhering to the scripture work on a practical/daily basis and areas of personal preference (wanting to watch "his" tv show, vacation destinations, or even something as small as where to eat out).
Since even the most blessed religious figures don't always agree, what happens when you simply don't agree on an issue but other are otherwise equally yoked?

Ok...the Bible tells the husband to love his wife as God loves the church. It also instructs him to not be harsh with her. If a man is treating his wife the respect and love she deserves, there's no reason for him to be demanding to have things his way all the time. I firmly believe that compromise is a building block of healthy relationships and marriages, and as such, his spirit should be right any time he approaches her with anything. So, in the example you used, let's say he wants to go to France for vacation, and I'd rather go to Canada. Ok, there are so many ways we can resolve this...I don't even think these kinds of things have much to do with submission...it's just about a mature couple knowing how to give each other what the other NEEDS. We ALL come to relationships with issues and needs that stem from childhood and past relationships. A good mate is a person who can meet those needs and some or all of those wants. Part of the reason so many couples today have issues with power struggles is because they both need or want something from the other that they're not getting. And once one party feels slighted, they sometimes intentionally slight the other...and so the tit for tat begins as does an emotional roller coaster for both parties. So if going to Canada is a big deal to me, perhaps I'll suggest that we'll go to Canada this year and go to France next year. If he insists on going to France this year, fine, we go to Canada next year.

I'm a relatively laid back person in relationships, and I MUST be with a man who is as well because I can't deal with anal, control freaks in relationships. I think where practical matters are concerned, it's more about two compatible personality types than submission. I say that because if he comes at me with the right attitude, I won't have a problem doing things his way anyway. However, it's when fleshly desires get in the way that there are problems. And this is why couples must pray for and with each other.

I agree that it's easy for two "people of God" to disagree. I've witnessed this up close and personal over the past 4 weeks. But God doesn't have a single lie to tell so He will reveal Himself to us if we seek Him. There's a thread here about knowing the difference between our own voice and God's voice. I think this is terribly important going into a marriage and being in a healthy marriage because without discernment of who's voice is who, you're liable to take your fleshly desires to your spouse in the name of Jesus. And that can cause problems. So, HE should be praying, I should be praying, and we should be praying together. We shouldn't be asking God to make him/her see it our way, however tempting it may be. What we should be asking for is revelation of God's will so that we can move forward in one accord. Too often people assume that in a situation like that, one person has to be right...or one person has to "win." That's not even what it should be about. The vows at the altar don't say anything about keeping score on arguments or each person getting his/her way 50% of the time. Godly living is above those things, and as such, Christian folks have to make an effort to be mindful of that and not get caught up in Satan's traps.

So even practically speaking, He STILL should be loving me as God loves the church. Respect is a two way street, and as long as we both respect each other and maintain an attitude of being slow to take offense but always ready for reconciliation, we can be confident that irreconcilable situations will be few.

HTH
{DI}

 

[Shimmie]

I truly will submit for he is the head.

I'll even take it a step further. It is a 'written' guarantee that we will not always agree. It's just life and we are male and female. That's the obvious clue right there.

However, if we are in public or with family and/or friends and he has commented or made a decision that I do not agree with...I will support him publicly. I refuse to disrespect him ever! And if it is something that is in need of discussion, it will take place privately, but never, ever in the presence of someone else...not even 'our' children. For I will not make him look inadequate nor feel inadequate ... children look up to their fathers and it will remain as such.

Ladies here's the key. When and if we disagree, keep our mouth shut and just pray. Let God lead the way.

There's a similar thread on the OT forum "Love, Honor and Obey". Here's my post:

Re: Wedding Vows...honor & obey?

To love, honor and to 'yield'...

Yield goes even further and bears more weight than the word obey. For it more of one's loving choice when one yields. One is putting aside all opinions, all resistance, all reluctance when choosing to yield.

To yield is a natual reflex; without conditions and without pre-reasoning or thought. Most of all, it's a natural bend in the path of ones' heart, to change directions when loves calls us to do so.

We can never go wrong in 'yielding...'. Look what God says:

And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, this is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left. (Isiah 30:21)

__________________
"Shimmie..."

 

[Southernbella.]

Ok...the Bible tells the husband to love his wife as God loves the church. It also instructs him to not be harsh with her. If a man is treating his wife the respect and love she deserves, there's no reason for him to be demanding to have things his way all the time. I firmly believe that compromise is a building block of healthy relationships and marriages, and as such, his spirit should be right any time he approaches her with anything. So, in the example you used, let's say he wants to go to France for vacation, and I'd rather go to Canada. Ok, there are so many ways we can resolve this...I don't even think these kinds of things have much to do with submission...it's just about a mature couple knowing how to give each other what the other NEEDS. We ALL come to relationships with issues and needs that stem from childhood and past relationships. A good mate is a person who can meet those needs and some or all of those wants. Part of the reason so many couples today have issues with power struggles is because they both need or want something from the other that they're not getting. And once one party feels slighted, they sometimes intentionally slight the other...and so the tit for tat begins as does an emotional roller coaster for both parties. So if going to Canada is a big deal to me, perhaps I'll suggest that we'll go to Canada this year and go to France next year. If he insists on going to France this year, fine, we go to Canada next year.

I'm a relatively laid back person in relationships, and I MUST be with a man who is as well because I can't deal with anal, control freaks in relationships. I think where practical matters are concerned, it's more about two compatible personality types than submission. I say that because if he comes at me with the right attitude, I won't have a problem doing things his way anyway. However, it's when fleshly desires get in the way that there are problems. And this is why couples must pray for and with each other.

I agree that it's easy for two "people of God" to disagree. I've witnessed this up close and personal over the past 4 weeks. But God doesn't have a single lie to tell so He will reveal Himself to us if we seek Him. There's a thread here about knowing the difference between our own voice and God's voice. I think this is terribly important going into a marriage and being in a healthy marriage because without discernment of who's voice is who, you're liable to take your fleshly desires to your spouse in the name of Jesus. And that can cause problems. So, HE should be praying, I should be praying, and we should be praying together. We shouldn't be asking God to make him/her see it our way, however tempting it may be. What we should be asking for is revelation of God's will so that we can move forward in one accord. Too often people assume that in a situation like that, one person has to be right...or one person has to "win." That's not even what it should be about. The vows at the altar don't say anything about keeping score on arguments or each person getting his/her way 50% of the time. Godly living is above those things, and as such, Christian folks have to make an effort to be mindful of that and not get caught up in Satan's traps.

So even practically speaking, He STILL should be loving me as God loves the church. Respect is a two way street, and as long as we both respect each other and maintain an attitude of being slow to take offense but always ready for reconciliation, we can be confident that irreconcilable situations will be few.

HTH
{DI}

Great post!

My husband and I submit to eachother, which is what the Bible states. I believe he is the head, but I can only think of 2 situations in the entire 4 years of marriage where I've actually had to submit to something I completely disagreed with. In both instances, my dh ended up telling me I was right. We are in sync most of the time. We don't sweat the small stuff. He knows who he is and I know who I am. He considers me his equal, and has no problem submitting to me when I feel strongly about something.

So, I submit and he submits.

 

[Crissi]

Great post!

My husband and I submit to eachother, which is what the Bible states. I believe he is the head, but I can only think of 2 situations in the entire 4 years of marriage where I've actually had to submit to something I completely disagreed with. In both instances, my dh ended up telling me I was right. We are in sync most of the time. We don't sweat the small stuff. He knows who he is and I know who I am. He considers me his equal, and has no problem submitting to me when I feel strongly about something.

So, I submit and he submits.

ITA - This is how i want it to be when im wifed

 

[Southernbella.]

ITA - This is how i want it to be when im wifed

And you can have it. It's all about marrying the right person.

I read a few books on submission before I got married, and they had me terrified. These women had testimonies about how hard it was to submit, and how they cried and agonized about it. I thought it was going to be a constant tug-of-war, but it wasn't.

I think submission is more a spirit than an action. Some women have a warring spirit, while others have a submissive spirit. And because my dh has a loving spirit, he never makes demands or tries to assert power over me. We're equal and we both respect eachother.

I always wonder about men who have to have the final say in EVERYTHING. I think that's more about control, and I feel sorry for women who have to put up with that.erplexed

 

[Southernbella.]

What if he asks that you stop working out/gym, or end a hobbie like painting or seeing your family. Or situations where he has choosen to disipline one child in a manner that you don't support, do you pray on it and accept that the consequences of his actions may have bad results but follow his command anyway?

From married women I would love to know how this works on a practical daily basis, if he wants to watch a particular show and you don't or wants you to leave the room when he's on the phone, just daily stuff. How does that work?

I never answered this.

I need to know why any husband would ask his wife not to see her family. Is she spending more time with them than him? Or is he just controlling and wants her with him and nobody else? Same thing for ending a hobby she likes. I think both spouses have the right to ask the other not to put other people/activities ABOVE them, and if I were truly doing that, I'd stop or cut back to be considerate, and I'm sure he'd do the same for me.

We've actually gone through the discipline issue. My dh wanted to spank my daughter, and I didn't. We discussed it, and in the end, he agreed that we should try other methods before getting physical with her. Since I'm with her all day, he knows that I have my own methods and he respects that. If he ever came to me and said he felt really strongly about it and thinks we should try it his way, then we would have to discuss it again. But he knows I feel more strongly about it than he does, and he would never command me to do otherwise.

I can think of another time when my dh wanted to quit his job and start his own business. I was DEAD set against it; I was pregnant with my oldest and I thought he should do the business on the side, get it up and running, and then quit. I said no the first few times, but by the 3rd or 4th, I told him I would support him in whatever he wanted to do. A few days later, he told me he changed his mind. He had prayed about it, and he didn't think it was a wise decision.

At no time has either one of us ever said, "We're doing it my way, I don't care what you think", because that's just not what two people who respect eachother should do, IMO.

 

[melodee]

I've been submissive and I know God is blessing me for it:

Ex. My hubby, who was not raised in a church and wasn't really saved until just before we met, has always been an excellent provider, and a compassionate spouse and father. I really couldn't have been more pleased...except in some areas of Christian growth...most importantly to me--tithing.

We struggled for a while with it, I wasn't raised to tithe, but eventually felt convicted as God was now requiring it of me. But my hubby didn't think it was necessary, so I didn't do it either.

Once before, we tried it. But I'm not sure if it was in total heart surrender. And our checks started bouncing. It was too hard, so my hubby discontinued the tithe. I was so hurt, but I wasn't totally tithing with my money. I thought being submissive was not tithing b/c my husband didn't tithe. We used to figh about it, and I cried to him that he needed to be a spiritual leader, and it depressed him, and he'd say " I'm not feeling God's hand". So I just avoided the whole thing altogether.

God has since enlightened me that being submissive doesn't mean that we are slaves or that we should let one person's negative opinion keep us from serving God. Being submisssive in this case, was to PRAY for my man while not pushing him or insulting the way he felt about tithing.

Very recently, I kept it the matter of intense prayer. And although I don't work except for odd jobs here and there, I began asking my hubby to include my tithe from my odd jobs in with the offering. So my little teeny bit of money didn't really amount to much, except in God's eyes. I kept imagining the widow giving her only two mites.

After even more prayer. My hubby came to me and said, you know what can help us with our budgeting---let's tithe and then let the rest sort itself out. Whoa, Lord--did you really do that? Without fighting? Without making him feel his position was being challenged? Was my being submissive--not pushing, but leading by example a way of ministering to my man?

And thus begins our journey. I am praying and trusting that God will bless us and not allow us to fall into debt.


Keep us in your prayers concerning this matter. We just began this, and I ask that you pray that we will be steadfast no matter what comes up.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Wow Melodee! That's a great story. I will certainly keep you guys lifted. Best wishes to you & yours.

 

[kbragg]

Sure, I submit (to my own will) all the time... Seriously though, I am getting better. The more I see he's right in things and is truly being led of God the easier it gets. I grew up very hard and for years carried an "I don't need nobody and don't nobody tell me what to do" attitude but praise God He is peeling back that reproach from me. Every so often that ole' flesh gets all up in arms, ESPECIALLY if it's not the way I want it, but with God's help my husband will survive the next 10 years because I have a tendancy to be stubborn and hard headed and it just may take that long! Seriously though, I am starting to realize that God has given me a wise temperate husband to combat my wildness lol and given him a wild spontaneous wife to combat his...conservativeness I guess He knows what He's doing

 

[live2bgr8]

I've been submissive and I know God is blessing me for it:

Ex. My hubby, who was not raised in a church and wasn't really saved until just before we met, has always been an excellent provider, and a compassionate spouse and father. I really couldn't have been more pleased...except in some areas of Christian growth...most importantly to me--tithing.

We struggled for a while with it, I wasn't raised to tithe, but eventually felt convicted as God was now requiring it of me. But my hubby didn't think it was necessary, so I didn't do it either.

Once before, we tried it. But I'm not sure if it was in total heart surrender. And our checks started bouncing. It was too hard, so my hubby discontinued the tithe. I was so hurt, but I wasn't totally tithing with my money. I thought being submissive was not tithing b/c my husband didn't tithe. We used to figh about it, and I cried to him that he needed to be a spiritual leader, and it depressed him, and he'd say " I'm not feeling God's hand". So I just avoided the whole thing altogether.

God has since enlightened me that being submissive doesn't mean that we are slaves or that we should let one person's negative opinion keep us from serving God. Being submisssive in this case, was to PRAY for my man while not pushing him or insulting the way he felt about tithing.

Very recently, I kept it the matter of intense prayer. And although I don't work except for odd jobs here and there, I began asking my hubby to include my tithe from my odd jobs in with the offering. So my little teeny bit of money didn't really amount to much, except in God's eyes. I kept imagining the widow giving her only two mites.

After even more prayer. My hubby came to me and said, you know what can help us with our budgeting---let's tithe and then let the rest sort itself out. Whoa, Lord--did you really do that? Without fighting? Without making him feel his position was being challenged? Was my being submissive--not pushing, but leading by example a way of ministering to my man?

And thus begins our journey. I am praying and trusting that God will bless us and not allow us to fall into debt.


Keep us in your prayers concerning this matter. We just began this, and I ask that you pray that we will be steadfast no matter what comes up.

Yes, this is an excellent testimony! Thanks for sharing it with us.

 

[Mariaat40]

My husband and I submit to eachother, which is what the Bible states. I believe he is the head, but I can only think of 2 situations in the entire 4 years of marriage where I've actually had to submit to something I completely disagreed with. In both instances, my dh ended up telling me I was right. We are in sync most of the time. We don't sweat the small stuff. He knows who he is and I know who I am. He considers me his equal, and has no problem submitting to me when I feel strongly about something.

So, I submit and he submits.

My husband and I also stress the idea of mutual submission as Christians. It's worked and we've been blessed during our 22 years of marriage.

 

[spelmanlocks]

When I marry I hope that everything will be 50/50 and we thus as Lauren 450 said submit to each other. I personally don't believe in submitting to any person other than God. No human being will have a final say in my hapiness or life, specifically if it is something I completely disagree with. Submission is such a strong word, perhaps it should be you just follow your partner when they are right.

 

[Shimmie]

More and more, I love the word...'to honor him.'

 

[Christa438]

As far as submission, I know what different verses in the bible say. But I think it just means to recognize and respect that your husband is the head of the household. At the same time, a husband and wife should respect& honor each other. It all depends on what the wife is submitting to also--a wife can always look to the bible for guidance and ask herself what would God want me to do? what have virtuous wives in the bible done? If I really thought my husband was out of line for asking me to do something, i would not submit. I am very close to my family, but if my husband didn't like it very much or felt like I neglected him, I would cut down on the time I spend with them out of respect and love for him. If he wanted me to stop seeing them all together, I would not, especially if his reasons were based on evilness and hate. Now of course if he got a better job out of state and we had to move, then me and the baby have to go with him.
I tend to lean more towards the spirit of the law/word and not just the letter of it. What if the husband decided he wanted a threesome? what if he decided for the wife to deny Christianity as her religion? what if he started just ordering her around all day like she a dog because he has some twisted control problem? what if he wants her to submit to being emotionally and physically abused? I know, this is why you need to get to know the man you are spending the rest of your life with, know him really well.

 

[Christa438]

As far as submission, I know what different verses in the bible say. But I think it just means to recognize and respect that your husband is the head of the household. At the same time, a husband and wife should respect& honor each other. It all depends on what the wife is submitting to also--a wife can always look to the bible for guidance and ask herself what would God want me to do? what have virtuous wives in the bible done? If I really thought my husband was out of line for asking me to do something, i would not submit. I am very close to my family, but if my husband didn't like it very much or felt like I neglected him, I would cut down on the time I spend with them out of respect and love for him. If he wanted me to stop seeing them all together, I would not, especially if his reasons were based on evilness and hate. Now of course if he got a better job out of state and we had to move, then me and the baby have to go with him.
I tend to lean more towards the spirit of the law/word and not just the letter of it. What if the husband decided he wanted a threesome? what if he decided for the wife to deny Christianity as her religion? what if he started just ordering her around all day like she a dog because he has some twisted control problem? what if he wants her to submit to being emotionally and physically abused? I know, this is why you need to get to know the man you are spending the rest of your life with, know him really well.

 

[healthyhairin07]

In short, I think this is why it's important to not be unequally yoked. A man of God will be seeking God's guidance in all that He does and behaving accordingly. If a man loves his wife as God loves the church, there won't the friction that submission sometimes causes. IMO, it's really about being sure you marry a man who is worthy of submission and understands what it's really about in a Godly sense, not a worldly sense.

ITA My husband and I both submit to God and each other. We discuss things, but ultimately I follow his lead, knowing that he's being led by God. It's good to have a man who has a close relationship with God - someone who can hear from God and who is not making descisions based on what he wants to do.

 

[Shimmie]

After I receive a few responses I will follow up with a detailing of the situation behind why I ask.
Being that a literal interpretation of the passage would be to submit all the time, not just when you agree. What if he asks that you stop working out/gym, or end a hobbie like painting or seeing your family. Or situations where he has choosen to disipline one child in a manner that you don't support, do you pray on it and accept that the consequences of his actions may have bad results but follow his command anyway?

From married women I would love to know how this works on a practical daily basis, if he wants to watch a particular show and you don't or wants you to leave the room when he's on the phone, just daily stuff. How does that work?

"Submission" doesn't mean being impractical. It actually means anything that we would submit to God, in turn we would submit to our husbands.

It means acknowledging and respecting him as the man and the head of our home, family and household. It means 'coming' into agreement with what we 'both' know to be right in the Lord.

We all know right from wrong. Even our husbands; they are not stupid. But if he wants to behave in an inmpractical manner, there has to be an intervention. God has called us to peace...that's His word. "He has ordained 'Peace' for us. He has also called us to be as one mind, one heart, one love in the order of Jesus Christ. (Phil 2:2).

Things like going to the gym, dance classes, etc., in all practicality, what is the gym in comparison to keeping the peace in our marriages. It's just a 'sweat' box of germs in the first place. All kinds of people we 'don't' know are in / out of there. These days, a gym is all hype. Build one at home.

However, I can see the point where some husbands use things like this as a 'control' factor with their wives. The issues really aren't the gym so much as something else. Maybe it's a challenge to the budget; or he fears someone else looking at you...which DOES happen.

With the children, if he is being overbearing, TELL him! And allow the Holy Spirit to 'convict' him. And trust me, the Holy Spirit will wear him out, until he gets it right.

I have a very wise male friend who tells me this over and over, "...a man has to meet the challenge.' If he's not doing what he needs to be doing to be a leader of his home and family, it has to be dealt with. God didn't call marriages where the wife is dominated and without a voice. Bring it to the table of discussion and ultimately come into an agreement of practicality. And by all means...pray about it together.

No matter how it's handled, it's still about honoring the man I've married; because even if he's wrong, I'm not going to shoot him down; instead lift him up and allow him to shine as the man I love and honor.

 

[Plenty]

I hate this idea...I really depends. Some people are incompetent. I believe that whatever matter should go to the most competent.

 

[msjazzy09]

I have every intention to submit to my husband...and long as he is submitting to God. For the record, I am not married but a single mom of 4. Currently I am in the role of head of household and, for the most part, it sucks! But, as long as my husband is planted firmly in the word of God and is truly submitting to Him, then it should not be that big of a deal for me to submit to him.
Everyone makes mistakes, but he will honor and respect me enough to hear my opinion and can ultimately accept that my course of action may be what's best for the family. Immature, wordly men are the ones who just want to rule over or control someone. That is NOT a man of God, and no woman of God should submit to that. IMHO

 

[klassykutie]

"Submission" doesn't mean being impractical. It actually means anything that we would submit to God, in turn we would submit to our husbands.

It means acknowledging and respecting him as the man and the head of our home, family and household. It means 'coming' into agreement with what we 'both' know to be right in the Lord.

We all know right from wrong. Even our husbands; they are not stupid. But if he wants to behave in an inmpractical manner, there has to be an intervention. God has called us to peace...that's His word. "He has ordained 'Peace' for us. He has also called us to be as one mind, one heart, one love in the order of Jesus Christ. (Phil 2:2).

Things like going to the gym, dance classes, etc., in all practicality, what is the gym in comparison to keeping the peace in our marriages. It's just a 'sweat' box of germs in the first place. All kinds of people we 'don't' know are in / out of there. These days, a gym is all hype. Build one at home.

However, I can see the point where some husbands use things like this as a 'control' factor with their wives. The issues really aren't the gym so much as something else. Maybe it's a challenge to the budget; or he fears someone else looking at you...which DOES happen.

With the children, if he is being overbearing, TELL him! And allow the Holy Spirit to 'convict' him. And trust me, the Holy Spirit will wear him out, until he gets it right.

I have a very wise male friend who tells me this over and over, "...a man has to meet the challenge.' If he's not doing what he needs to be doing to be a leader of his home and family, it has to be dealt with. God didn't call marriages where the wife is dominated and without a voice. Bring it to the table of discussion and ultimately come into an agreement of practicality. And by all means...pray about it together.

No matter how it's handled, it's still about honoring the man I've married; because even if he's wrong, I'm not going to shoot him down; instead lift him up and allow him to shine as the man I love and honor.

Ms. Shimmie, I love reading your posts. You are very inspirational and wise. You "think before you speak".

 

[ClassicBeauty]

ITA with everything in this post. I know that the man God sends me will be a man after His (God's) heart and so I know that he will be in submission to the father, therefore I wont have a problem submitting to him.

That is my prayer!

 

[carcajada]

ITA My husband and I both submit to God and each other. We discuss things, but ultimately I follow his lead, knowing that he's being led by God. It's good to have a man who has a close relationship with God - someone who can hear from God and who is not making descisions based on what he wants to do.

That's how i pray my marriage continues to be. I love this thread.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

I hate this idea...I really depends. Some people are incompetent. I believe that whatever matter should go to the most competent.

That's part of the reason I asked. Without any added context submission to my knowledge means that he has final say regardless of the topic, there's no argument as that would question his decision making. Submission would mean that he's not "required" to consider your perspective, though hopefully he will. From my observation I think many women are practicing shared decision making, but call it submission because they don't want to appear to be going against the wording of the passage.

I'm very curious to know how many of us practice literal submission. Say your husband decides you aren't wear a particular item of clothing, attend class/gym, etc. etc. or he decides in a friendly but final manner that only he can handle bills and financial information. Some might worry that a husband might be trying to hide motel bills with his mistress or have another motive as that man is corruptible and capable of sin.

I suspect that many women interpret the passage with added context whereas most Christian men view it in it's most literal sense.