Do you know your "love language?"

SEMO

SEMO

Well-Known Member
I was browsing through the book "The Five Love Languages" and I realized that my primary love language is "acts of service." I know a lot of people who's primary language is "quality time" so I assumed mine was probably that too. But after reading the chapter in the book on acts of service I realize that I treasure this expression the most.

It also helped me understand why I'm attracted to certain guys, and what it is that they do to catch my attention. A guy in my Bible study group has recently caught my attention for this very reason. He seems very thoughtful and helpful and I really like that :yep::grin:.

The 5 "languages" are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch

Does knowing your love language change how you relate to men?
 
I did this with my bf... mine is quality time, his is physical touch :rolleyes:

It doesn't help me relate to my bf, because I already what the outcome would have been for both of us. I suppose it could be helpful in a new relationship :yep:
 
Hmmm I may look into purchasing that book b/c the guy that has my attention now is not like any of the previous guys that I've dated. (That's probably b/c I'm getting older) :look: I'm curious to know what my "love language" may be.
 
Here's me:

Score Love Language 10 Words of Affirmation 7 Quality Time 2 Receiving of Gifts 1 Acts of Service 10 Physical Touch


I'm "bilingual":grin: I hated the questions that asked touch and affirmation questions.....too hard to choose between the two:wallbash: DH is Acts of service, UGH! So while I want him to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, feel me up and as Jill Scott says "Take a Long Walk" with me, he wants me being Mary Poppins!:rolleyes::wallbash: I need for him to read this book, he has no idea how easy I truly am:grin: But nooooo....he doesn't like reading books on relationships and stuff:wallbash::rolleyes: Dag nabbit lol! Maybe if it was a Commentary or written in Greek he'd look at it:perplexed
 
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I took both quizzes that RR posted...Thanks!

My highest score was Quality Time....

After taking this test, I now see how knowing your and SO love language will help in a relationship.
 
I never heard of this book before they discussed this at my church last week. A lady went through the entire "languages" and she did a great job.

I am acts of service, I think.

It is hard for me to relate to people who seek affirmation.
 
I took the quiz posted in the original book and Acts of Service was my highest followed by Words of Affirmation. Since the book was geared towards married people it was hard to say exactly how I'd feel/react since I'm still single. I know that there's a love languages book for singles, but I haven't looked through that one. I wonder if I would still turn out to have the same love languages. I think I probably would.

One of my good friends primary language is Quality Time so even though we're friends I try to keep that in mind when we're talking on the phone or hanging out. She used to joke with me that I like to be waited on (like I was being high maintenance :rolleyes:). But now that I know that my primary love language is acts of service it makes sense. I like when guys (or people in general) take the time to do something thoughtful.

The guy I used to like totally and completely turned me off by some ungentlemanly behavior I saw in him (he griped about walking me to my car after Bible study and mentioned that he was only doing it b/c the pastor had asked him to :wallbash:--we walked past the pastor on the way out). And the guy I like now caught my attention b/c he was a gentleman (ex. opening doors and helping women out of cars and just a lot of other little things). Plus, he spoke to my secondary need for words for affirmation. So yeah, I'm kinda digging this guy :grin:.
 
Mine is Words of Affirmation with Quality Time right behind it! :ohwell:

I read the " Five Love Languages for Singles", it was a GREAT book. I truly believe knowing your love languages will help with your relationships with not only your spouse/significant other but also with relationships with other important people as well (children, parents, friends).
 
Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of "The Five Love Languages", was on Joyce Meyer's television show almost all of last week discussing this very thing. I learned so much!

My primary love language is physical touch closely followed by quality time.

Now I'm on a mission to determine the love languages of my loved ones.
 
nvybeauty said:
I never heard of this book before they discussed this at my church last week. A lady went through the entire "languages" and she did a great job.

I am acts of service, I think.

It is hard for me to relate to people who seek affirmation.
Click to expand...

None of these are about what we SEEK AFTER/FOR, but what we RESPOND TO, for whatever reasons. I kind of don't like that I respond to words of affirmation, but apparently I do.... I respond when people use kind words with me (esp. since I don't use kind words all the time... go figure!:look::perplexed).

Plants respond to talk therapy... it's the same principle.... Words do matter....
 
I think it would be hard for me to relate to the physical touch and the affirmation people just b/c I don't like to touch or be touched and I sometimes forget that people need to hear how important they are in your life. I assume that people know that I love them just by my actions. I'm working on it :look:. I may get the potential SO to take this later. But he seems to be the quality time type with a close second of physical touch.

It makes sense that I am drawn to him. We met at a one of our mutual professional organization's meetings. He is the vice president of the organization and has no problem running things :lick:. To top it off he's a natural gentleman and one of the most dependable people I know. He decided he wanted to get to know me better and invited me to my favorite coffee spot. Then we went for a walk around the area and just talked. He is very attentive and pays close attention to detail. He never looks away when I am speaking. I always have his undivided attention.
A quality timer's dream. I never stood a chance yall!:lachen:
 
Actually, I think it's very easy that once you know somebody's love language, you have a better sense of how to reach them, to show them love. Sure, you may have to remind yourself in the beginning of their language, but the key, at least for me, is being conscious of the language they respond to and then I can communicate my love in a way that they cannot deny or misinterpret....
 
SEMO-

I don't know which one I would be. But this guy--your interest, sounds nice and more importantly he is a man of GOD. That's so sweet! :cloud9:
 
amerikan said:
He is the vice president of the organization and has no problem running things :lick:. To top it off he's a natural gentleman and one of the most dependable people I know. He decided he wanted to get to know me better and invited me to my favorite coffee spot. Then we went for a walk around the area and just talked. He is very attentive and pays close attention to detail. He never looks away when I am speaking. I always have his undivided attention.
A quality timer's dream. I never stood a chance yall!:lachen:
Click to expand...

My love language is quality time...and when I was reading about your potential guy I was like he would be the type of guy I would want. lol Indeed a quality timer's dream :lachen:
 
metamorfhosis said:
SEMO-

I don't know which one I would be. But this guy--your interest, sounds nice and more importantly he is a man of GOD. That's so sweet! :cloud9:
Click to expand...

He's impressed me so far :grin:, but I'll have to keep my eyes open :look:. The last guy I like had me fooled for awhile (the one that didn't care to walk me to my car) but he turned out to be very annoying and attention seeking :perplexed. So I'm deciding to not rush things in my mind this time. I need to see if his character is consistent or if he was just on his best behavior that night.
 
RelaxerRehab said:
None of these are about what we SEEK AFTER/FOR, but what we RESPOND TO, for whatever reasons. I kind of don't like that I respond to words of affirmation, but apparently I do.... I respond when people use kind words with me (esp. since I don't use kind words all the time... go figure!:look::perplexed).

Plants respond to talk therapy... it's the same principle.... Words do matter....
Click to expand...


if you don't get affirmation, what do you do? what happens when there is nothing to respond to?
 
nvybeauty said:
if you don't get affirmation, what do you do? what happens when there is nothing to respond to?
Click to expand...

Good and fair question....:yep:

On a spiritual level, you ENCOURAGE YOURSELF like David did! (1 Samuel 30:6)

On a natural level, you make sure that your inner circle are people who CELEBRATE YOU and not just TOLERATE you.... and then as you and your inner circle interact, you eventually learn one another's love languages and hopefully there's pleasure taken in speaking their language. It's not like a person whose love language is "words of affirmation" is walking around all glum because there's not that constant verbal affirmation going on. Words of affirmation can be done through a card, an email, a phone call, a text, a LCHF PM that says something affirming....and those words, esp. when sincere, can have long-lasting effects....
 
RelaxerRehab said:
Good and fair question....:yep:

On a spiritual level, you ENCOURAGE YOURSELF like David did! (1 Samuel 30:6)

On a natural level, you make sure that your inner circle are people who CELEBRATE YOU and not just TOLERATE you.... and then as you and your inner circle interact, you eventually learn one another's love languages and hopefully there's pleasure taken in speaking their language. It's not like a person whose love language is "words of affirmation" is walking around all glum because there's not that constant verbal affirmation going on. Words of affirmation can be done through a card, an email, a phone call, a text, a LCHF PM that says something affirming....and those words, esp. when sincere, can have long-lasting effects....
Click to expand...

Great post :yep::yep::yep:. Very well explained. I have a lot of friends who's love language is quality time and I really make an effort to make time for them even when I'm really busy. I try not to rush them off the phone b/c I know spending time is important to them. I think friends who get along really well have probably subconsciously learned each other's languages.
 
I was thinking today that we must naturally know at some level of friendship/relationships what our friends/SO's love languages are. I've beem paying more attention to what my friends say and was shocked at what I found.

Example: I was with my bff and she kept doing other things while I was talking and I noticed how annoyed and slightly hurt I was becoming. She immediately stopped doing what she was doing and said "I'm listening to you" and went into detail about what I was saying. My mother does that too. It's like they subconsciously know that I need them to be attentive.

I'm getting to test my theory and guess my loved ones language then make my friends and some family members take the test and compare the results. :grin:
 
Interesting thread:)
I took the second test and I my language is Score Love Language 12 Words of Affirmation 7 Quality Time


I scored the highest score possible....
The funny thing is that I'm not the type of person who uses words a lot to make others feel special/loved, I'm more of the "actions" kind of person...
 
MindTwister said:
Interesting thread:)
I took the second test and I my language is Score Love Language 12 Words of Affirmation 7 Quality Time


I scored the highest score possible....
The funny thing is that I'm not the type of person who uses words a lot to make others feel special/loved, I'm more of the "actions" kind of person...
Click to expand...

Again, it's not about what you DO, but what you RESPOND TO.... It's not necessarily a correlation between what you respond to versus what you do for others. What you should do is be conscious of the love languages of those around you. So you say you are more of the "actions" kind of person, but if there's someone in your inner circle who RESPONDS TO QUALITY TIME, then you're not speaking that person's language by your actions....follow what I'm saying?

For example, I have a number of friends in my life who respond to physical touch, meaning lots of hugs and touches when talking. I am not the physical touch type of person (right now, at least). So when I hug (usually a divine compulsion to do so), they REALLY RESPOND! They smile, their comfort level increases, they talk more, etc. Physical touch is their love language! And because they know I kinda don't do physical touch, they are especially responsive when I do so because they know I am going out of my comfort zone to speak their love language. Even with that, I am working on being more sensitive to my friends and to speak their love language more as an expression of my love to them.
 
RelaxerRehab said:
Again, it's not about what you DO, but what you RESPOND TO.... It's not necessarily a correlation between what you respond to versus what you do for others. What you should do is be conscious of the love languages of those around you. So you say you are more of the "actions" kind of person, but if there's someone in your inner circle who RESPONDS TO QUALITY TIME, then you're not speaking that person's language by your actions....follow what I'm saying?

For example, I have a number of friends in my life who respond to physical touch, meaning lots of hugs and touches when talking. I am not the physical touch type of person (right now, at least). So when I hug (usually a divine compulsion to do so), they REALLY RESPOND! They smile, their comfort level increases, they talk more, etc. Physical touch is their love language! And because they know I kinda don't do physical touch, they are especially responsive when I do so because they know I am going out of my comfort zone to speak their love language. Even with that, I am working on being more sensitive to my friends and to speak their love language more as an expression of my love to them.
Click to expand...
Thanks for breaking it down to me :)
 
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