Do You Ever Think All This Is A Bit Much?

[CreoleInDC]

Okay...for once I'm gonna say something serious so clutch your pearls, read and comment intelligently ladies.

Someone sent me a comment saying she couldn't believe there were actually "hair boards" etc. She said it seemed as if it was a bit much to her. While at the time I put her *** on mad blast for messing with me...I'm thinking about it now.

I'm looking at pics of myself and my hair has always been very nice looking. When I wanted it to grow, I didn't cut it. When I wanted to wear it short...I cut it. I used very good products. Simple.

I used common sense about my hair and didn't do anything damaging (helps that I'm very lazy actually...lol). My hair never seemed "thin." I will admit to having my fair share of breakage and even more split ends than I wanted...but for the most part...it looked good. It moved well and had a healthy shine to it.

So now I'm all into "healthy" hair care. Even though stylists have always told me how healthy my hair was. And now...I'm walking around with bags and ish on my hair under a skull and knit cap, or slicked down in a bun looking matronly. No one stops to ask me who does my hair anymore cause they can't even SEE it. And I have to say...I'm not all that cute with my hair all pulled up. (Don't tell anyone I admitted that okay? LOL!) My husband has said at least once..."What are you doing to your hair now?" in an annoyed tone (to which he received some Creole flava directed at him and he hastily retreated...who the hell does the think he is????? okay...off track, off track.)

I guess my question is this...is it REALLY too much? Was that person actually right? Have any of YOU ever felt like maybe you've gone overboard? (And I'm not talking about you Sistaslick with your chemical degree responses...we KNOW you've taken it to another level...lol!)

I"m talking about the rest of us. The ones not necessarily interested in writing a book on hair and who just want healthy, good looking hair they can be proud of on their head. Do you think we've gone overboard? Do you think we should just focus on the common sense principals we've learned here and on other hair boards such as the importance of daily moisture and sealing in the moisture and not using heat everyday, and deep conditioning regularly and not getting a relaxer less than 8 weeks post to curb breakage and be just fine?

Just curious as to whether or not anyone else has wondered this as well. Answers please.

Smooches!

 

[Candy_C]

Okay...for once I'm gonna say something serious so clutch your pearls, read and comment intelligently ladies.

Someone sent me a comment saying she couldn't believe there were actually "hair boards" etc. She said it seemed as if it was a bit much to her. While at the time I put her *** on mad blast for messing with me...I'm thinking about it now.

I'm looking at pics of myself and my hair has always been very nice looking. When I wanted it to grow, I didn't cut it. When I wanted to wear it short...I cut it. I used very good products. Simple.

I used common sense about my hair and didn't do anything damaging (helps that I'm very lazy actually...lol). My hair never seemed "thin." I will admit to having my fair share of breakage and even more split ends than I wanted...but for the most part...it looked good. It moved well and had a healthy shine to it.

So now I'm all into "healthy" hair care. Even though stylists have always told me how healthy my hair was. And now...I'm walking around with bags and ish on my hair under a skull and knit cap, or slicked down in a bun looking matronly. No one stops to ask me who does my hair anymore cause they can't even SEE it. And I have to say...I'm not all that cute with my hair all pulled up. (Don't tell anyone I admitted that okay? LOL!) My husband has said at least once..."What are you doing to your hair now?" in an annoyed tone (to which he received some Creole flava directed at him and he hastily retreated...who the hell does the think he is????? okay...off track, off track.)

I guess my question is this...is it REALLY too much? Was that person actually right? Have any of YOU ever felt like maybe you've gone overboard? (And I'm not talking about you Sistaslick with your chemical degree responses...we KNOW you've taken it to another level...lol!)

I"m talking about the rest of us. The ones not necessarily interested in writing a book on hair and who just want healthy, good looking hair they can be proud of on their head. Do you think we've gone overboard? Do you think we should just focus on the common sense principals we've learned here and on other hair boards such as the importance of daily moisture and sealing in the moisture and not using heat everyday, and deep conditioning regularly and not getting a relaxer less than 8 weeks post to curb breakage and be just fine?

Just curious as to whether or not anyone else has wondered this as well. Answers please.

Smooches!

Hey creole!

Many of times i thought like this! so you know what, i played it dowwwn. massaging the scalp with oils? washing every day? I literally just cant do it! It can get obsessive sometimes, but i guess you just take from this what you want, and some things u'll try wont work or you'll just feel a bit ridiculous. just try things out - if they aint you, they aint you. its seems like you got the basics on lock anyway, so if thats what u wanna do - do it - but yep, it can get a bit much, the personalities on here are varied, you got people who are willing to try most methods those that have an interest but dont nessessarily do it and those that have this hair health thing on lock and just do what they do, addin a few kiss and tells here and there (i think i'm catergory 3 .. i hope )

 

[freedom]

I guess it can get a bit much if you let it. ITA with what candy said about taking what you want. Its kinda like the grocery store method, you take what you need and leave the reat on the shelves. Personally I'm kinda glad for the different "categories" we have here on the board because I think we can learn that much more, rather we decide to utilize them for ourselves or not.

 

[baglady215]

I can agree with you a little bit. I have been OBSESSING lately on whether to continue with LYE or go back to NO-LYE. Will I get dryness with no-lye? Will lye leave me underprocessed? I mean, is it really that serious? No. I'm sure my hair will be fine either way.

But on the other hand, I have learned so much here beyond the conventional hair care methods. And yes, I'm willing to walk around smelling like a horses behind if I can increase my growth rate. And that's the fun of it all, finding what works for you.

 

[Supergirl]

Creole,

This is very thought-provoking! I try to keep it simple. I've never done the bag thing or jumped on the MTG or Monistat bandwagons and stuff like that. I stretch my relaxers pretty well.

However, in line with what you said. I think I'm going to start wearing my hair down more often--cause I'm cuter that way! But it's also hard after being on the board since 2002 and wearing protective styles 99% of the time, I'm kind of used to it. It's like a habit that's hard to break. I mean how would I keep my style cute if I wore it down every day? Heat! OMG, no! But--shhhh--I am thinking about using heat a bit more often. Can you believe it???

 

[Enchantmt]

I read comments all the time about women who make changes for their SO's so that they can keep them happy and still keep their hair healthy. For those who are aggressively pursuing their hair goals, they may want to bun it up for a year or so before wearing it down more often. Most people when they start out with something are really gung-ho about it, but you cant keep the momentum indefinitely. You have to have balance for everything. Eventually it will even out and you will do what works for you to give you the best results with minimal effort.

 

[scorpian]

It can get to be a bit much.
My son says he had a bad dream that I woke him up on a Sat morn to drag him to another BSS
He said "Mom what's Hell like cause if it's anything like going to the BSS with you then I'm gonna make sure I'm good."
Now I try to make my trips to the store alone or with friends so I don't torture my poor kids

 

[CreoleInDC]

I read comments all the time about women who make changes for their SO's so that they can keep them happy and still keep their hair healthy.

HUH? What's that got to do with the price of tea in China? I hope you didn't think I was asking the question because of my husbands thoughts. Uh...that would be no. Hair on my head is MINE. To do with as I wish. I don't have that kind of marriage. Whereas I AM from the South and therefore have a respectable heirachy in my home...I am DEFINATELY the queen of my castle.

 

[Legend]

You definitely make some thought-provoking points, CreoleInDC. I personally just enjoy just caring for my hair and having a bit of fun with it because of its versatility. And you are right, a good routine, and good nutrition will always yield good results for your entire body, not just the hair. I myself do not wear protective hairstyles too much. Only when I don’t feel like styling it or if I’m running late for work. My hair hasn't suffered because of it.

But, what this post did remind me of *grinning to myself* is what I did to my hair when it was nearly waist length (I’ll have to get some pictures on-line). I only started cutting it after I finished college for a more professional, “polished” look. I had nice thick hair with all the length I wanted. And you know what? I did early everything “wrong”!!

I washed my hair, maybe once a month with Suave balsam shampoo (the really drying one). Used any old cheapo instant conditioners and allowed my hair to air dry. Then I drenched it in that thick, red pressing wax. Pressed it within an inch of its life (and that was when I hadn’t done the at-home, no-lye relaxer myself), and greased my hair and scalp with Royal Crown hair grease. I wore my hair either in corn rolls and ponytails all the time (who has time to style your hair as a student?). And I used one of the artificial bristle brushed that scrapes the scalp to keep it in place. I trimmed it occasionally myself with office scissors. Crazy, huh? But, my hair was still long, thick, and growing. I didn’t actually start having hair problems until I stopped eating correctly and my body’s iron levels became too low. Only then did I experience some hair loss and excessive shedding. It’s the craziest thing when I think about it, and really funny to me. I say to myself, “What in the world was I thinking?!?!?” But, clearly, something was working for me. I don’t know. It's just funny when I think about it sometimes with what I know about hair care!

 

[BSweet]

I can’t even leave my hair down b/c im paranoid about my ends..i do look MUCH cuter with my hair down..but u gotta suffer to get what you want. I wonder when I get my hair to the length that I want..if I will even leave it out….lol..so whats really the point?..but I donno can’t stop now tooo addicted

 

[shortness]

This board had helped me when it has come to mixing my own conditioners. I have learned how to wash and set my own hair. I think I am have taken some of the very primary steps towards hair freedom (or rather, stylists freedom) due to this board. I now have a sense of power over my hair which I never had before. I am OK with stretching my relaxer (even though last night my little sister said I had some serious new grwoth, but WHATEVER).
However, there are somethings on this board that go a little bit overboard, inmho. And those are things that I am not supposed to try.
Like someone said before, its all about what you take from this forum. I am not the type to pop 12 pills in one sitting to get my hair to grow, buT some people have no problem with that. And to them I say more power to you!

 

[HoneyDew]

I do thnk it can be a bit too much, at times.

But, I started looking for advice online because i was having a problem with my hair.

I notice that as it has improved, I do much less with my hair than I used to and I spend WAY less time thinking about hair and what I am going to do with it in the morning, etc.

But, this board really helped me get over my fear of leaving braids and weaves, which I thought I could NEVER do. This board has helped me be brave when it comes to telling hair care "professionals" what I want. This board has helped me narrow down a great set of products that really work well for me and ways of using heat safely.

So because of that I am thankful.

But, at the same time, looking pretty is still high on my list. I can never seem to wear buns all the time, or stretch my relaxers for long periods of time. I have not been, and doubt I ever will be able to sacrifice my hair looking good and being pretty almost every single day, just for the sake of protecting ends or retaining length.

 

[ThinNnappy]

I think when your first started out and you are really focused to growing your hair longer than its not going overboard, but if your pretty much just happy with your hair length and just want to keep it healthy then there really isnt much need to keep on doing excessive things-just the bare minumum to make sure your hair doesnt break and stays healthy

 

[Enchantmt]

HUH? What's that got to do with the price of tea in China? I hope you didn't think I was asking the question because of my husbands thoughts. Uh...that would be no. Hair on my head is MINE. To do with as I wish. I don't have that kind of marriage. Whereas I AM from the South and therefore have a respectable heirachy in my home...I am DEFINATELY the queen of my castle.

I didnt gather that from your post. I'm simply stating that after the initial excitement of trying things based on new information, most establish a balance between the need to meet their hair goals/protective styling and still feel fashionable. When I first joined hairboard I spent a ton of money on products trying new things, that has calmed down. Others spent a ton of time, and they have become more efficient taking care of their hair. Everyone will eventually find what works for them to give the best results.

 

[camellia]

I understand what you're saying, but for me the opposite is true actually.

Before, when I was constantly flat ironing and hot curling my hair I spent much more time stressing over my hair. I was forever slicking it down with vaseline and brushing it to make it smooth. My hair was a MESS and I worried about it all the time. I know I can really obsess over things, especially my looks, weight, hair, ect...

Now I am much more relaxed. I was cowash a few times a week and I use shampoo once or twice a week. I use natural oils and butters and I'm good to go.

I know that my hair is strong and healthy now and if I want to wear it down I know that wearing it down alone will not cause damage. I wear my hair in a bun or French twist most of the time because long hair streaming all over the place and babies and toddlers don't mix!

Since I found this board and starting using commen sense to care for my hair my life has been much more stress free.

 

[CreoleInDC]

IBut, at the same time, looking pretty is still high on my list. I can never seem to wear buns all the time, or stretch my relaxers for long periods of time. I have not been, and doubt I ever will be able to sacrifice my hair looking good and being pretty almost every single day, just for the sake of protecting ends or retaining length.

I think this is where I'm going to be. I think I'm too cute to look matronly. I'm going to go back to wearing my hair down.

 

[sareca]

I'm trying to grow hair and nothing that gets me there is too much. I don't even entertain other people's idea that I'm doing to much to reach my goal. No one ever says that about their small business, health, or faith. I don't see this any different. It's simply a goal I'm trying to achieve the same the others in my life and I'm willing to sacrifices to get it.

 

[Miss*Tress]

Don't you think the board would be useful for your friend with the overprocessed hair you posted about earlier? As was mentioned in another thread, many black women do not know how to take care of their hair and hate it (and themselves) due its perceived ugliness. Places like this board allow all of us from the clueless to the expert to learn from each other, improve on what we have, and change our mindset. That's a good thing, right? And like Enchantmt said, it all balances out in the end anyway.

 

[sareca]

I didnt gather that from your post. I'm simply stating that after the initial excitement of trying things based on new information, most establish a balance between the need to meet their hair goals/protective styling and still feel fashionable. When I first joined hairboard I spent a ton of money on products trying new things, that has calmed down. Others spent a ton of time, and they have become more efficient taking care of their hair. Everyone will eventually find what works for them to give the best results.

Co-signing 'cause I did that w/ my skin. I had terrible skin. I spent tons of money and time researching and testing products. People thought I was crazy then too, but I eventually found what would work for me. I have it down to a science now and only takes me about 3 minutes/day to care for and maintain the health of my skin. My hair is just project number 5,938.

 

[Honi]

Great post!

When I first became serious about hair care I saw a Wanakee ad. Her hair was gawgeous, thick and waistlength. I thought....I WANT THAT!!! I already had "ok" hair care practices and my hair was slightly above BS but later on realized that some of the things I was doing was wrong. My hair stayed the same length for years and I didn't know why. I also thought that hair couldn't grow like that and you had to be lucky in the gene pool as far as length. So I searched and found this forum.

What a Godsend. I learned more than I ever thought about products. I found out I didn't know jack about conditioners, the differences between protein and moisture, how important both are to healthy hair, protective styling (like Supergirl I just got used to it after awhile), trimming, etc. Some things can be too much but sometimes that's the way it is when your hungry for info and want to see results.

 

[CreoleInDC]

I can’t even leave my hair down b/c im paranoid about my ends..i do look MUCH cuter with my hair down..but u gotta suffer to get what you want. I wonder when I get my hair to the length that I want..if I will even leave it out….lol..so whats really the point?..but I donno can’t stop now tooo addicted

This is EXACTLY how I'm thinking too. When my hair is down...I'm so worried about what I'm doing to the ends. I've always protected it from wool sweaters and coats in the winter but am I REALLY gonna not wear it down looking cute when I don't have to wear coats and fleece anymore? I don't think so.

 

[trinidarkie1]

I understand where you are coming from. I have so many products at home now, and although each of them has their uses, It's still a bit much.
I love being able to read my hair, understand why it looks and feels a particular way etc.

But I want my hair to grow, but not at the expense of looking kinda nice sometimes. For example I just touched up after 3 months, and I was cowashing and applying conditioners everyday to my new growth and then now, there's no growth, what's next.

Oh by the way, nobody has responded to my post about that

I believe that through all the drama, the midnight rushes, the baggies and the halfwigs, I have found a way to continue growing healthy hair that's well within my budget and within my time.

I wont be washing 3x a week, or doing leave in conditioners and stuff, but I will continue to wash on the weekends and do a deep condition to be sure that my hair doesnt get too dry and break off.

For some of us, we just have to work a little harder to have pretty hair. It's worth it for some and just crazy for others.

 

[Nightingale]

I like the hairboards because the product junkie in me wants to know what else I can buy, LOL! My regimen is what works for me. I cowash/rinse almost everyday because I practice HARD everyday. Without hairboards I wouldn't know that it was the poo that was drying my hair out, or the reason why products marketed for African American hair, didn't work for me. Whatever I read that will help my hair, or simplify my regimen, I'll do, if not I move on. If I lived and breathed the boards, trying everything mentioned, then it would be too much.

 

[Doremie13]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I was THIS CLOSE to cutting off my hair when I found this board! I was in a new area so I was having trouble with the hard water, not having access to products I used to use, no hair stylist, etc. My hair was a crunchy, bushy mess and I was tired of the broken hair all over the floor. I've learned so much from this site that I can't stop touching my hair because I like the feel of the wavy new growth and its softness. Learning about stretching, washing my hair 2-3 times a week, using no heat and protecting my ends has been a blessing for me.

BUT, I have been trying very hard to limit my regimen to a few products and steps. I don't have the extra money to buy a lot of expensive products or the extra time to do so many steps to my hair each day. My main protective style is a braidout because I like wearing my hair down and it's been great to blend in the new growth.

I guess it's all about your perspective in life and your personal priorities. Doing something nice for myself has been a great boost to my emotional mood and self-confidence. I'm just trying to exercise self control and not let my hair care journey run my life. Which is hard because a sista would be PJ in a minute if I had access to a BSS and more money!

 

[peacelove]

If it hinders your life then yes it is too much, if not then nope! If you ever go to make up alley and see ladies talk about perfume, or a car board and see how people talk about cars, then it is not much difference. It really is about what you are interested in and love. I love hair and skin and beauty boards.

It's fine that people think it is a bit much - they don't have to join! I say do what you enjoy and don't worry about what others think. This board is a wealth of information to me. Moreso than any hairdresser I have ever had in my life. And for that alone I will keep coming. How invested I am in my hair and the info on the board is up to me. And the only thing different about me before LHCF and after is that my hair is in better shape.

 

[Candy_C]

At College theres this white lady with long hair i roll with (just genetics she dont do anything special to her hair at all), and i was on this board. she was like "whats that your lookin at?" i said "oh just a board about black hair" she said "really? do people really go on this for a hobby?" i said "yehhh your got people who go on stamp collecting sites and nobody says anything about them" .. lol i really got defensive over LHCF!

 

[sprungonhairboards]

I knew it was a bit much when I started taking pictures of my hair. Then creating an album. But I'm past the point of no return now. I've officially crossed over to the dark side (insert evil laugh here)

But I've gained so much knowledge, growth and health in my hair, it's worth it. The only way I would consider it too much is if I'd tried every product and recommendation posted and my hair was in the same shape/length it was before I started coming here.

 

[CreoleInDC]

I knew it was a bit much when I started taking pictures of my hair.

I had my hubby taking pics for me the other day cause I couldn't hold my bun AND the camera. *sigh*

 

[MissYocairis]

I think it's relative. When you first join, generally, it's out of frustration about the current state of your hair so most new members tend to have a small journey ahead in terms of LEARNING how to take care of our hair, IDENTIFYING which methods work best for your own hair through trial and error EXPERIMENTING with different products and techniques. This alone can take 3-6 months. I never really felt I had a real, tight regimen that I was at peace with until I was about 5 or 6 months in. And, it still takes tweaking.

So, from that point, then, you follow your regimen and you learn that progress and results come with time and patience. It's hard sometimes, but you stay committed and stick it out.

I'm tired of looking "matronly" as you put it....I want my hair to flow in the wind. Everytime I wear it down to work, (which is about 3 times in the past 6 months), I get mad compliments and folks telling me, "u should wear it like that more often".

So, yeah, I feel you. But, I know I can get addicted to the "flow" and straighten and flat-iron myself bald if I am not careful because I did it once before about 3 years ago. Well, I wasn't bald...but, I lost about 2 inches and I thinned out considerably....

What's more, with it being winter...I have become terribly afraid of my hair rubbing up against my winter clothing and my coats. So, to just avoid all of that, I try to keep it up. I might venture out and straighten more this summer when I am wearing better fabrics or tops that expose more of my shoulders and back.

 

[Mystic]

Daily moisture and sealing in the moisture and not using heat everyday, and deep conditioning regularly and not getting a relaxer less than 8 weeks post to curb breakage and be just fine?

This is all I do to my hair - anything more would be too much. I also try to use MTG 2X per week but forget most times.