Do you cycle your men?

[Suerte]

By cycle I mean, date a guy for, stop dating a guy, not see the guy for years, and then wind up getting into a relationship with the guy?

I seem to either be sought out by, or seek out exes every 3 years or so.

Typically the initial relationship was just casual dating but no sex...or really good friend that I wound up sleeping with and then tried to date but it was just...awkward. Then I will run into them, or their friend will tell me so-n-so wants your new number, or they will be looking for me, or I'll always think about them and BAM they show up the next week. And it's weird.

Does this happen to anyone else...and do you know why this might happen?

I gotta make some real serious decisions in the next few months. Some really really serious decisions.

 

[drasgrl]

No never happened to me.

 

[cutebajangirl]

Yeah I cycle guys all the time. One of my resolutions for the 08 was to stop that completely and that is probably the only resolution Ive stuck too.

 

[cocoaluv]

Yup sadly all the time. My last boyfriend and I were just friends for a long time and then after awhile we stopped talking then the next thing I know we decided to give it a try in the relationship department.


My first boyfriend...without fail will always come ( or at least try ) to come back into my life in some way. I can just call him up and say "Hey happy b-day" next thing I know I get "Oh Cocoa you are the only girl I ever loved come be with me again I think about you all the time........blah blah blah" I'm just sitting there on the phone all uncomfortable cuz I know how it will end. We will hang out/date/hook up for a couple of months then out of nowhere we will stop speaking for months on end. I told him that from now on its friendship only cuz I can only be his friend otherwise I want to kill him

 

[locabouthair]

Well they sure do try to. The guy I used to date seems like he's trying to put me in one now.

My ex tried that mess for 6 years. He always tries to come back. The last "cycle" was january.

 

[Ramya]

Yup sadly all the time. My last boyfriend and I were just friends for a long time and then after awhile we stopped talking then the next thing I know we decided to give it a try in the relationship department.


My first boyfriend...without fail will always come ( or at least try ) to come back into my life in some way. I can just call him up and say "Hey happy b-day" next thing I know I get "Oh Cocoa you are the only girl I ever loved come be with me again I think about you all the time........blah blah blah" I'm just sitting there on the phone all uncomfortable cuz I know how it will end. We will hang out/date/hook up for a couple of months then out of nowhere we will stop speaking for months on end. I told him that from now on its friendship only cuz I can only be his friend otherwise I want to kill him

UGh the bolded is me and my ex totally! I went back 2 or 3 times but now I'm certain that I'm through with that mess. But yeah once I'm done I'm done. We aren't together for a reason therefore no need to ask what if or try again.

 

[Suerte]

I have done this with 2 specific guys... one of them was just because he was my first love and I let him emotionally manipulate me. The other one...we stopped seeing eachother because he pretty much wanted to try life without his family smack dab in his face, and he had some personal issues that he needed to sort out. Now that he is older and his family realizes that if they as much as look at him the wrong way, he will cut them off...so they respect him more as a man and see him as his own ADULT person. And he worked out his issues. So...bah.

I'm just confused right now.

I got out of a 4 year long "situation" last year. The guy I am with now is the rebound guy...but he has potential. I think I flucked up because I told him he was the rebound guy. Things got WAY intense WAY fast, he started talking love, marriage, babies...and I kinda got scared. And I think I flucked that up

But guy B from my cycle situation...I can see the rest of my life in his eyes. So it's weird.

 

[DarkAngell]

I met my SO 4 years ago. We dated briefly but i ended it because i still had feelings for my ex at that time. Me and the ex got back together for the next year or so and then it ended. All the while (current) SO was trying to get in touch with me and tried to get me on dates and i avoided him like the plague..

Last summer we got back in touch and this time i gave it a chance. We started seeing each other and we had even MORE chemistry this time around and now we're together and i KNOW he's it for me

Strange how that happens. Especially since i USUALLY don't go back with someone once it's over.

All the other men i had dated ALWAYS came back around sooner or later but i never gave them the time of day.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

No.
#1. I make it hard for anyone to find me. I change my number every few months and email address to.
#2. I dont like when someone just comes from nowhere and wants to continue what we had. Its not possible. I usually send them right back on their way.

 

[glam-]

Yeah I cycle guys all the time. One of my resolutions for the 08 was to stop that completely and that is probably the only resolution Ive stuck too.

That is so me. I need to stop it too.

 

[cocoberry10]

No, but there is one guy I might want to "cycle" back into my life

 

[Highly Favored8]

Yes, only in extreme circumstances

If my ex came back to me and was still doing that OLD, HOT Mess, then no way would I cycle him back.

Now, if my ex has grown up become a mature man and a much better person and we both wanted to give our realtionship another try, and God Willed it to be that way then Yes I would try only because in extreme cirucmstances "Seperation can be Good for Growth".

 

[Egyptjones]

I have been known to recycle a time or two. Somtime it works, sometimes it doesn't. My BFF calls me Ms. Recycle, Reduce, Reuse

One recycle was my very first boyfriend, I was in Cali and he was in Chicago. We would go back and forth with visits and whatnot I think we were good for each other but I can't handle the long distance thing. I was willing to move to Chicago but he wanted to move to back to Cali (waiting for a work transfer) so he wanted me to stay here. This was about 6 years ago. Recently he called and left a message but I didn't return the call.

Sometimes these recycles can take you in a direction that you never guessed you would venture (positive direction) and others you place right back on the curb for Tuesday's garbage pick-up

 

[Suerte]

I have been known to recycle a time or two. Somtime it works, sometimes it doesn't. My BFF calls me Ms. Recycle, Reduce, Reuse

One recycle was my very first boyfriend, I was in Cali and he was in Chicago. We would go back and forth with visits and whatnot I think we were good for each other but I can't handle the long distance thing. I was willing to move to Chicago but he wanted to move to back to Cali (waiting for a work transfer) so he wanted me to stay here. This was about 6 years ago. Recently he called and left a message but I didn't return the call.

Sometimes these recycles can take you in a direction that you never guessed you would venture (positive direction) and others you place right back on the curb for Tuesday's garbage pick-up

 

[charmtreese]

Yup, Im the recycling queen

 

[dimpalz]

I think I may be the worst I made a list last night and I was "cycling" my first for nearly 6 years, during that time my number crept up from 1 to 5 (none of them at or near the same time BTW!) Dudes 3 and 4 were people I knew for a LOOOONG time that met me when I was still going out with my first so they didn't get any love but later on obviously they had their time. I think I have regression issues

But as of last Monday I've been first free for 6 months! I cut that dude right out of my life cos it's a vicious cycle and while "we're not hurting anyone" and "we're good friends" it's still an unhealthy relationship. So he had to go, deleted his number, deleted his texts, deleted his emails, deleted him from my msn, facebook and removed any way I ever had of contacting him cos I know I can't be trusted with his details lying around. Recently I've seen the signs of sniffage but I'm not falling prey again.

I swear these dudes KNOW when you're happy, it's like they can sense it in the air, and only then do they wanna try mess up your game.

 

[Ms Red]

I am not sure if I would use the word 'recycle,' per se... but there is a man who has been in my life (first as a potential suitor, then as a friend) for several years. There was a period of about 5 years where we did not keep in contact but we never separated on bad terms...

 

[myronnie]

Oh my goodness..this happened with my current SO..
Well in 2006 he told me that he didn't want to hurt me because he was immature so he wanted to stop dating me. Well in the course of two years (06 to 08) we have started talkin again maybe 7 times lol
The last time we started talking i was really pissed at him and was reallyadamant that we were just friends. However, the 8th time, we talked it out(each time he expressed more and more want to get back with me and talked about how he was maturing) and now we are happily together. So cycling isn't that bad, as long as you like the person.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

it depends on the situation. I dont think its good if he's ditching you to be with someone else and then decides that she isnt the girl he wants to be with and runs back to you. I know guys like that. Now if its a good reason like going away to school, or just not feeling mature enough to handle a serious relationship at that time and he tries to come back sometime later, I see no harm in it.