Do we need a Prenup?
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ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
I don't think there is a certain amount needed for a prenup. After all, I think most people's financial status will (or should) change as you go through life. Plus, if I understand correctly, your prenup can say anything.
I for one, own a house. So if something were to happen to us, I expect to keep my house. Any money he paid (liek half on the mortgage) he can consider rent.
If you come in the marriage w/ debt, like loans, that needs to be accounted for. repayment might come out of the joint acct while we are together, but if we break up, you take the balance with you. and vice versa.
Plus I think it's a good idea to lay out the division of assets and debts before you get married. I think it's imperative to at least have the discussion b/c while it sucks to be thinking of the possibility of divorce, its important to ask those questions. Plus, I think its a good idea for people to understand what they have to lose by acting a fool in the marriage (yes it's cynical but I've been too many cheating threads)
That's JMO. I think marriage is a business first and foremost. I truly value, love, commitment, religious aspect if thats what you're about and all the other things, but there is so much about the institution that has legal ramifications and its smart to approach it that way
I for one, own a house. So if something were to happen to us, I expect to keep my house. Any money he paid (liek half on the mortgage) he can consider rent.
If you come in the marriage w/ debt, like loans, that needs to be accounted for. repayment might come out of the joint acct while we are together, but if we break up, you take the balance with you. and vice versa.
Plus I think it's a good idea to lay out the division of assets and debts before you get married. I think it's imperative to at least have the discussion b/c while it sucks to be thinking of the possibility of divorce, its important to ask those questions. Plus, I think its a good idea for people to understand what they have to lose by acting a fool in the marriage (yes it's cynical but I've been too many cheating threads)
That's JMO. I think marriage is a business first and foremost. I truly value, love, commitment, religious aspect if thats what you're about and all the other things, but there is so much about the institution that has legal ramifications and its smart to approach it that way
kurlybella
Well-Known Member
lady has already stated what i will just second.
if wants to protect his 60k in the bank and 175k house so be it. it's not the amount that matters to me. he has a right to do what he wants with MONEY HE HAD BEFORE ME and in some cases, money he may make while with me.
the state WILL GIVE YOU A "PRENUPT" anyway if you happen to divorce. i'd rather decide how my money is going to be handled than some judge that thinks he knows what's best for me.
i'd also have a dissolving clause that means it's no good after so many years.
i agree.
i don't know why when marriage comes into play people don't want to talk about money, but will suck you clean and dry if you divorce. we women are good at wanting to "take his last penny."
it's almost as if talking about divorce is wrong or shameful. it's a reality. it's like not talking to your kids about the realities sex and just hoping they remain chaste until marriage. well, ummm...don't be surprised if they don't REMAIN VIRGINS OR GET PREGNANT...no, you're right, your daughter just has a tumor.
if wants to protect his 60k in the bank and 175k house so be it. it's not the amount that matters to me. he has a right to do what he wants with MONEY HE HAD BEFORE ME and in some cases, money he may make while with me.
the state WILL GIVE YOU A "PRENUPT" anyway if you happen to divorce. i'd rather decide how my money is going to be handled than some judge that thinks he knows what's best for me.
i'd also have a dissolving clause that means it's no good after so many years.
i agree.
i don't know why when marriage comes into play people don't want to talk about money, but will suck you clean and dry if you divorce. we women are good at wanting to "take his last penny."
it's almost as if talking about divorce is wrong or shameful. it's a reality. it's like not talking to your kids about the realities sex and just hoping they remain chaste until marriage. well, ummm...don't be surprised if they don't REMAIN VIRGINS OR GET PREGNANT...no, you're right, your daughter just has a tumor.
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Arcadian
New Member
I do wish more women WOULD have prenups. That not only protects them, but also their future children, and themselves
If you go that route, you each should have your own lawyers. You both need to be secure in what you're bringing to the table and/or what you're asking for in that contract because each lawyer will be working for their client to make sure that they don't get the short end of the stick.
In some states if you don't have a prenup, anything that is marriage property gets cut in half if the marriage dissolves, which may not matter to some, but if you have money and assets that you had outside of the marriage, or your mate brought a lot of debt to the marriage, you don't want to be screwed up and have to pay their debt, or give up have your stuff, trust.
Now that said, no, you do not have to have a ton of assets to get a prenup, and it may be a contract between you that says you get this, he gets that, his debt is his debt and yours is yours. It can say whatever you want it to say.
But IMO it bodes well of women take off the rose colored glasses and make sure they have something that also protects them should the marriage go kaput.
-A
If you go that route, you each should have your own lawyers. You both need to be secure in what you're bringing to the table and/or what you're asking for in that contract because each lawyer will be working for their client to make sure that they don't get the short end of the stick.
In some states if you don't have a prenup, anything that is marriage property gets cut in half if the marriage dissolves, which may not matter to some, but if you have money and assets that you had outside of the marriage, or your mate brought a lot of debt to the marriage, you don't want to be screwed up and have to pay their debt, or give up have your stuff, trust.
Now that said, no, you do not have to have a ton of assets to get a prenup, and it may be a contract between you that says you get this, he gets that, his debt is his debt and yours is yours. It can say whatever you want it to say.
But IMO it bodes well of women take off the rose colored glasses and make sure they have something that also protects them should the marriage go kaput.
-A
ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
This.
Especially when we tend to fare worse in a divorce then men. We often have primary custody of the kids, we tend to make less overall than men, and if you were a SAHM you may not have the skills necessary to make good money immediately (to say nothing of the women who sacrificed their careers so he could make it)
SHEANITPRO
Well-Known Member
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MissYocairis
Well-Known Member
That's a prenup-worthy situation then. When I married my exH....he owned a home already. I did not. When we divorced, the judge forced him to refinance the home and give me the equity that I paid into that house during the marriage. Had we had a prenup, with that house in mind, he would not have had to do that.
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
I'm sure lawyers everywhere are going to have an aneurysm when I write this:
I'm not getting a prenup and I wasn't asked for one nor will I be or agree (my sweetie and I already talked about it.).
Currently if one person needed one it will be him.
I don't believe in them period. Even if the shoe was on the other foot. I'd hope I chose a good and ethical partner. I realize that the division of assets might be in my favor after a while (if we continue this way with him having more assets) and so does he. If that changes (and it could) I realize that the same thing could happen to me as well. We're both okay with the risk because we have faith in each other as ridiculous as that sounds to some
I just thought of that movie intolerable cruelty and looked up these scenes lol!
Marylin Rexroth: No, no, no, no, no, this is all wrong.
Miles Massey: What? Is it the kilt?
Marylin Rexroth: Do you love me?
Miles Massey: More than anything.
Marylin Rexroth: Can I trust you?
Miles Massey: Yes, you can trust me.
Miles Massey: [Marylin grabs the Massey prenupt and tears it] Darling, you're exposed!
Marylin Rexroth: A sitting duck.
-----
My sweetie and I are sitting ducks. Or rather he is right now, and I will be if I start making more than him
Here's another from intolerable cruelty:
Herb:-- You can act like a man. Let me
tell you something, smart guy. You thought
you had it all figured out. Trust.
Marriage. All ya god d(beep)n love love
love. Well now you listen to me. I'm
gonna talk to you about the godd(beep)n
LAW.
Toast to the romantics out there.... Don't pity me!
I'm not getting a prenup and I wasn't asked for one nor will I be or agree (my sweetie and I already talked about it.).
Currently if one person needed one it will be him.I don't believe in them period. Even if the shoe was on the other foot. I'd hope I chose a good and ethical partner. I realize that the division of assets might be in my favor after a while (if we continue this way with him having more assets) and so does he. If that changes (and it could) I realize that the same thing could happen to me as well. We're both okay with the risk because we have faith in each other as ridiculous as that sounds to some
I just thought of that movie intolerable cruelty and looked up these scenes lol!
Marylin Rexroth: No, no, no, no, no, this is all wrong.
Miles Massey: What? Is it the kilt?
Marylin Rexroth: Do you love me?
Miles Massey: More than anything.
Marylin Rexroth: Can I trust you?
Miles Massey: Yes, you can trust me.
Miles Massey: [Marylin grabs the Massey prenupt and tears it] Darling, you're exposed!
Marylin Rexroth: A sitting duck.
-----
My sweetie and I are sitting ducks. Or rather he is right now, and I will be if I start making more than him
Here's another from intolerable cruelty:
Herb:-- You can act like a man. Let me
tell you something, smart guy. You thought
you had it all figured out. Trust.
Marriage. All ya god d(beep)n love love
love. Well now you listen to me. I'm
gonna talk to you about the godd(beep)n
LAW.
Toast to the romantics out there.... Don't pity me!
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naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
I do not think there is a monetary amount needed for a prenup. I think it's situational and even for people with no current assets. My friends have a post-nuptial agreement. It was done when they were newly married and discussing if they ever broke up what things they could resort to in anger.....i.e., taking his family home (which he will get via will) and selling it to a condo developer.
In some states inheritance is not considered community property but who knows where a couple may end up living if/when they divorce.
In some states inheritance is not considered community property but who knows where a couple may end up living if/when they divorce.
ixoyegodisgood
New Member
Also people need to keep in mind that, in some states (ie Illinois) a prenup can easily be made void in a court of law if each party did not have their own (SEPARATE) legal counsel at the time the predup was drafted. Of course, that is an additional expense and possibly why a lot of people use one attorney for everything. But if you want a prenup that doesn't have the potential to be thrown out, its an expesense you'd have to be willing to absorb.
jeanghrey
Well-Known Member
ITA. I think every couple should have a prenup regardless of socioeconomic status. 'Cause when the ish hits the fan, it's everyone for themselves and sometimes people do things just to spite you in the end. So it's best to protect yourself as much as possible up front, when you're able to talk about it civilly.
JayAnn0513
I make 30 look good!
If you have any cash or property pre-marriage you need one. I think my DH should have gotten one. So did his parents. My DH owned a house prior to us getting married and his parents have 2 houses they intend to leave to DH and his brother. They wanted DH to have me sign a pre-nup that said I laid no claim to his house or anything left to him by his parents while we were married. I was totally ok with that, HE was not. I told him I was ok with it and he still refused. As long as we stay married he's good if 20 yrs down the line he losses his mind and acts as *** he may be in trouble. Who knows if I will still be this civil and clear headed if the ish hits the fan.
LunadeMiel
Well-Known Member
I did not sign a prenup. He hinted, I refused 
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Pre-nups were initially used to keep family wealth in the family should a relationship dissolve (consider laws in certain states regarding the transfer of investment trusts, real estate and capital gains). All of a sudden they were all over the media thanks to a couple of notable Hollywood pre-nups. And now the pendulum has shifted in the complete opposite direction and anyone with anything is wondering "what do I stand to lose?". "I've got a paid off car - I need a pre-nup". Ummm...no!
In most states it is possible to prove ownership and rights to certain assets PRE-marriage without a pre-nuptial agreement. And there are ways to make these agreements legal without a pre-nup.
Frankly, I think folks are taking pre-nups a bit too far.
I'm not a Rockefeller and I'm not dating a Rockefeller...so at this point in my life, they're a non-issue.
In most states it is possible to prove ownership and rights to certain assets PRE-marriage without a pre-nuptial agreement. And there are ways to make these agreements legal without a pre-nup.
Frankly, I think folks are taking pre-nups a bit too far.
I'm not a Rockefeller and I'm not dating a Rockefeller...so at this point in my life, they're a non-issue.
princessnad
New Member
If I were to get married today, I would be losing out big time with a pre nup (if it has the standard language). So at this juncture, I vote 'no'. Later on when I have more to gain then maybe. lol
Nina_deF
Well-Known Member
Yes and I am so happy I did.
We went in with about the same amount of money (well, he was better off, childless and such) BUT we purchased a home before marriage. As a stipulation from me we each took separate loans and the home was put in my name only (I would not have bought this co-op otherwise). That might sound selfish but I have 3 children (2 prior) to support and can not risk a bad financial situation.
Low and behold, my (now) ex dh company folds, he owes the bank, irs, etc money and because of the prenup noone can force me to sell my home to pay his (bad) business loans and bills.
So even though you don't have much, you never now.....
We went in with about the same amount of money (well, he was better off, childless and such) BUT we purchased a home before marriage. As a stipulation from me we each took separate loans and the home was put in my name only (I would not have bought this co-op otherwise). That might sound selfish but I have 3 children (2 prior) to support and can not risk a bad financial situation.
Low and behold, my (now) ex dh company folds, he owes the bank, irs, etc money and because of the prenup noone can force me to sell my home to pay his (bad) business loans and bills.
So even though you don't have much, you never now.....
natural2008
Well-Known Member
I'm getting a prenup.
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