Do Natural Hair Women Get Hit On?

Unfortunately the same old fools approach me but usually with more class. I receive much more attention than my relaxed days but I LOVE not having straight, unhealthy hair so maybe I ooze confidence :). The ones with half a brain won't try to holla but say "excuse me miss", or "you're so beautiful" w/e, w/e. I get way less attention when I wear my weave, but I also feel so ugly and fake so I probably look uncomfortable and rigid. There's soo many naturals here I can't see it affecting whether I'm approached or not. In certain parts I feel like it's da*n near the norm, definately not rare/unusual

PraisedBeauty I love your point of view because you hold no punches ;)
 
Last edited:
bride91501, lol!!! I will always ask men cause we can't speak for what a man likes and vice versa. If we really knew or cared what men like we wouldn't have purchased most of the clothes, shoes or accessaries that we feel are must haves!

Bottom line, majority of the time we wear our hair, makeup and clothes according to what other women and gay men like. That is why articles like this just make me laugh.
 
Umm, I apologize if this sounds rude, but speak for yourself...and only for yourself :look:
PraisedBeauty said:
Are you serious right now? *most* men. Yes *most* men. Go out with a group of ladies to multiple areas. Tell me who gets approached more. You or the women with perms/weaves? It is a tough world out there. And I am sorry, but in this day and age our hair texture and natural beauty is NOT appreciated by the majority of men out there, even our own black men. No it's not fair. If anything it saddens me. But it is what it is. Yes you are married good for you. But just because your husband loves your natural hair, does not mean that the rest of the world does.

A lot of men want a woman they can "show off" to their boys. A woman they will know they will say "Yeah she looks good" ...What is that woman going to be? A reflection or something similar to what is shoved in their faces on a daily basis in those magazines. On the television. In songs. (Thank you Lil Wayne "I like a long haired thick red bone" or whatever he said. I don't listen to that garbage, I just hear it when cars drive by.)
Click to expand...
 
brittanynic16 said:
LOL. This thread is funny

Let's put the theory to the test...shall we

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8ozcV4wPQw&feature=related

I guess the ones on the left and right are automatically going to get all the mens because their hair is straight/good right? LOL :spinning:
Click to expand...

oh snap! lol why didnt you warn me lol :lachen:

I was mesmorized but not in a good way....kinda like watchin a train wreck.

If I have to choose I take the middle...but damn lol :nono: she the 5-star tip drill award :award: on this one.

who wins this tip drill off?

short or long hair???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzSPbN0ocHQ
 
Last edited:
I agree with who said that hair is the icing on the cake and confidence is what matters (Amoreofcurls?)

I also agree with who said men don't even know what natural hair is and a lot of them mean no weave.

In my experience guys go insane for long curly hair. Which can be achieved with both natural or relaxed textures...
 
oh-my-gosh-o.gif


Blue leggings and man's crotch didn't have a chance!!
 
I think men want a woman who carries herself well. They want a woman with hair that looks well taken care of. I think we as women need to have more self confidence about ourselves. Personally, no one can answer this question for the original poster because some ladies don't experience this problem. I think the relaxed vs natural thing is really tired. I'm not saying that society does not push the strait look, but basing your life on what men supposedly want does not mean you will get a man.:rolleyes:
 
I've never had problems attracting male attention. When I was a smaller weight I attracted a lot more though. Had nothing to do with my hair back then and I've been natural for quite a few years.

However men do seem to love length because now when I wear my hair out, I get a lot of attention.
 
I think it has more to do with the woman than the hair. I agree with the posters who say men don't know what natural hair is. Most men who have called me natural only meant that I wasn't wearing a wig or weave. They don't know or care about chemicals, heat straightening, flat ironing or whatever. They just know what looks good to them and that will vary from man to man.

Personally, I think if you're fly you'll get hit on. He**, if you ain't fly you'll still get hit on :lol: maybe not as much or as often but somebody will try to holla. :giggle:
 
First of all I couldnt get past the hoes have perms statement..everything else after he said that was irrelevant..but for the record..my hair doesnt deter any man from hittin on me..
 
I get WAY more attention with straight hair vs the natural look. I don't think it has to do with the fact that might look a lot younger when it's natural, that just my theory.
 
If I understand this correctly, the author is equating natural hair with some level of more self respect than a relaxed woman (who is deemed a potential whore?) WTH?!?!?

What about women who were natural, but relaxed, or vice versa? I find it hard to believe that anyone is really judging how "easy" a woman is to get into bed based on her hair being relaxed v. natural.

As for the question, yes, I have been hit on with relaxed hair and with natural hair....probably equally.


DrC said:
A mans opinion about Black Women and Natural Hair

http://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/01/03/do-natural-hair-women-get-hit-on/


2006-afro-curls.jpg


Johanisha Jones: “I don’t feel pretty.”
SBM: “What? Why would you say that?”
JJ: “My hair. Ever since I went natural, guys don’t hit on me like they used to.”
SBM: “I’m not surprised.”
JJ: “I hate this stupid European sense of beauty!!! Why does my hair have to be straight and flowing!”
SBM: “Well, that is one major reason, but I think there is more to it.”
JJ: “Excuse me?”
SBM: “I think a lot of guys are less likely to approach a natural hair chic … they aren’t as receptive.”
JJ: “EXCUSE ME!!!”
SBM: “Calm down, calm down. That isn’t sexy.”
JJ: “Why does me having natural hair make me less approachable?”
SBM: “Hoes have perms.”
JJ: **puzzled look**
SBM: “Think about the hoes you know …”
JJ: **puzzled look turning into understanding and anger** “Damn these hoes!”
Just to clarify … not all hoes have perms. And just because you have a perm … doesn’t mean you are a hoe.

Life is often (sadly) determined by stereotypes and preconceived notions. If you are black, someone might offer you some watermelon and chicken, and then assume you will curse them the f* out in an uncontrollable black rage. Al Sharpton. Yeah … stereotypes can suck, [STRIKED OUT] except for that free watermelon and chicken.[STRIKED OUT]

Lets take a second to define “natural hair wearers”. This is actually involves talks of the African Diaspora, the hair industry, and the European model of beauty. Since I have no desire to talk about all that sh* … we’ll just stick with Afro, Dreads, or a Caesar, looks that are free of chemical or heat processing. Basically … something that Erykah Badu or india Arie would rock. (Please let’s not focus on the definition)

In order to ascertain a set of stereotypes that apply to this group, I reached out to the official SBM Research Laboratory. An organization dedicated to improving relations between black men and women everywhere. After an extensive investigation process involving [STRIKED OUT]surveys, background research interviews,[STRIKED OUT] and talks with academics me sitting at a computer and thinking “hmmmm”, SBM RL has compiled the following list.

Connected to the struggle
High Self Confidence
High Value of Sense

The best way to think about this, use music. Think about the “hoes” of hip-hop. Lil Kim, Nicki Minaj, Trina … what kind of hair are they rocking. And when you think of the natural hair wearers, Badu, Arie, Jill Scott, what are they singing about? Pretty sure you are not gonna catch them on the “Freaky Gurl” Remix or yelling “5 Star *****”.

So what does this have to do with who guys approach?

Think about the average guy who is hitting on a girl … he wants p*ssy. Sure, he may be looking for a girlfriend and wife, but that usually isn’t a man’s first thought. That comes later. When he is yelling “hey you … with the ass” from across the street, he is trying to beat … not meet your dad.

Now, we all know that[STRIKED OUT] hoes[STRIKED OUT] loose women are more likely to give up p*ssy with little effort. And we know that guys don’t like rejection (don’t fight me on this one). So, when you think about men on the whole, they want to hit on more hoes than housewives. This reduces our rejection rates and makes sure we are smashing … constantly.

See how it all comes together now?

If a guy is trying to decide who to hit on in the supermarket, generally speaking, he is going to go for the easy win. And remember that hoes have perms? Knowing that a girl with natural hair is less likely to be a hoe, he is going to go for that.

And there you go … another SBM life-changing theory for the books.

The main thing you have to realize about this is we aren’t talking about the guys with scruples. Honestly, a guy like me prefers his woman with natural hair. Just thinking about some long dreads that go down the middle of a woman’s back … whew … man. The same qualities that may turn off the masses … only make me (and many like me … Slim Jackson) want her more.

I know someone reading this is mad. I know many people reading this might be mad … but stop, and think about it. Am I wrong? Is one of the reason that a dyme with a well kept mini-fro might not get as much play as her lye’d up friend is because of preconceived notions? Not saying it’s right, but is it true?


http://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/01/03/do-natural-hair-women-get-hit-on/




Well, whats your opinion about this article???? :look:
Click to expand...
 
I think across the board women really shouldn't equate their attractiveness to how often you get hit on. Getting hit on doesn't mean that you are pretty and not getting hit on doesn't mean you are ugly. in a group of women, the woman who gets hit on the most may not be prettiest woman in that group, she is the one that looks the most approachable or the most receptive. The prettiest women often may not get hit on a lot because men may feel intimidated and unless that woman gives a man a flirty smile or makes enough eye contact, he probably won't approach her because he feels most likely he'll be rejected.
 
i would like to contribute that i may or may not be/and/or know some heauxs, and i am/we are natural.
:look:
'tis all.
 
PraisedBeauty said:
Seriously. I see this topic all the time. Reworded in so many different ways. And of course people are going to run in here saying "Omg. EVERYONE loves my natural hair. Way more guys hit on me." Okay let's just be up front and real about this for once. Okay?



2. Hair is not the determining factor on whether or not a guy is going to approach you.



9. Not all men are the same. Not all men are attracted to the same thing.
Click to expand...

I completely agree. Men really dont care about hair as much as we do.(Got this from a TRUSTED male source). As long as you look good or you have an attractive figure, you're going to get hit on.

Even if you dont look good, your probably still going to get hit on just because you are a woman,

If you find you get more attention from men while your relaxed/natural vs. natural/relaxed its probably because they way you style your natural/relaxed hair.

IMO..of course...:yep:
 
PraisedBeauty said:
Seriously. I see this topic all the time. Reworded in so many different ways. And of course people are going to run in here saying "Omg. EVERYONE loves my natural hair. Way more guys hit on me." Okay let's just be up front and real about this for once. Okay?

1. If you are ugly. You are ugly. If you are pretty. You are pretty. Permed hair or natural hair will not impact that.

2. Hair is not the determining factor on whether or not a guy is going to approach you.

3. What type of natural are you? Did you just bc? Do you have a TWA? Are you a pressed natural? Are you 4B or are you 3A? YES. THIS STUFF IMPACTS THE SITUATION. So do not sit up there saying it doesn't.

4. If you're permed. Do you have scraggly ends? Can you barely put your hair into a pony tail? Is your hair damaged like Danity Daaamn Kane? This will also impact the situation.

5. How long is your hair in general. Majority of men prefer length. Your hair may be long as a natural but if it's not stretched it may not show length.

6. Many men are influenced by the images that they see in the media. Most images in the media that are representations of beauty are not women with natural 4B hair. If you are in a group of girls. And you all are on the same level in terms of looks and you are the only one with natural hair, I honestly do not thing that he is going to pick you if you are a 4b girl with natural hair and a TWA. Do not sugar coat it. And stop lying to all these other girls when they are nervous about going natural. It is what it is. Some men just can't see past the medias image of beauty. I DON'T AGREE WITH IT. SO DON'T ATTACK ME. But let's KEEP-IT-REAL.

7. I know someone will come in here saying "Oh well I attract men of a higher caliber with my natural hair" Child please. Just because you attract a man with locks or a man who is in touch with the mother land does not mean that he is of a higher caliber. Because he sure will play you out just like a back up dancer in one of Diddy's videos.

8. I cannot stress this enough. Once again. If you are ugly you are ugly. If you are pretty you are pretty. Hair is not the end all be all. So don't run around crying saying "Oooo I can't get a man because I'm natural and no one appreciates my beauty" ...They might not have appreciated it when you were permed and weaved up either...

9. Not all men are the same. Not all men are attracted to the same thing.

10. The majority of men will gravitate toward a woman with long hair, that displays visible length that is at least apl (whether it is curly or straight), and that is her own. Permed or natural.

(Oh and when I hear black men saying they like girls with natural hair. Half of the time they don't even know what the hell they are saying. So many men I have talked to consider natural hair to mean that the hair is not a weave or a wig. Not that the hair is not permed/chemicalized).

I'm sure I stepped on a few toes. I'm sorry. But we are keeping it real here.
Click to expand...

You hit the nail on the head with this one. I've been complimented for having a pretty face since a child, but going from a "Beyonce" weave to natural 4B TWA has stopped men from approaching me. Men used to break their necks to check me out when I passed by, now they look right past me.

To be honest, I LOVE it! To me, it shows how shallow and physically-driven men can be. I don't like attention from men who want nothing but you-know-what. I want a man to love me for ME.

For now, I'm single, and don't have a problem with men overlooking me, because I know my self-worth. But I'm pretty sure once my TWA grows out, the odds will change.
 
lol, we have had this topic so many times.
Men and white people. White people who are also men.
That's all we talk about around here. :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:
 
I've been some form of natural for the last 4 years. My last relaxer was in Dec 2006. I started locs with little gel twists. July 2009 I combed out my locs and have been a loose natural since.

I'm also a big girl.

I get more Jill Scott references than the good Lord should allow and I've never had a problem getting or keeping a man; it's getting rid of 'em that's a challenge! (edit: I have a pretty face, big boobs, and suffer from Noassatall Syndrome. So I'm definitely not a tip drill. :lol: The opposite actually.)

The majority of my dating has been in DC, a natural hair friendly city. However, I've done a little dating in Houston and while the majority of the women here have weaves (raggedy ones, at that), I constantly have men in my face. Even the hispanics!! :yep:

Natural hair has not hindered me in any way and I really wish people would let this go.

I guarantee that any men that I've missed out on because of my hair were not worth the time anyway. As the article said, these guys are looking for sex. A woman with healthy, whether relaxed or natural, hair shows that she's somewhat responsible and careful. That's not what those guys are looking for!

If you go to a club and no one hits on you, count your blessings, because it may mean that you look like a lady! If you go to a club and every dude is buying you drinks, you probably look like a slut. (Be honest) It's not cuz you look like your conversation would be interesting. #kanyeshrug :ohwell:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

MarcustheWu
Sabino and Chi Silk
Replies
16
Views
2K
Starronda
Starronda
G
Booooo...the day i pick to order a sample
Replies
5
Views
695
Geminigirl
G
kjeneen
PRESSING TO STRETCH
Replies
8
Views
1K
janeemat
janeemat
SweetMarshCrystal
Solutions for dry, thirsty scalp? Can I use ORS Olive Oil Sheen Spray?
Replies
2
Views
5K
SweetMarshCrystal
SweetMarshCrystal
DrC
Study: Women with Natural Hair Have Low Self-Esteem
Replies
22
Views
4K
PinkSunshine77
PinkSunshine77
Back
Top