Do mother-daughter relationships count here, too?

[Vinyl]

Hi... Yeah, it's me again. You guys gave me pretty sound advice last time, so here I am again.

This time my problem is with my mother. Before you ask... living anywhere else is not an option. She is the main cause of stress in my life, and I don't know what to do about it. I am failing two important classes in my school because of the stress at home. I don't know what to do.

I won't go into details, but suffice it to say she is verbally abusive. I am paranoid of her. I usually try not to leave my room when she's at home. I've tried talking to her, to no avail.

I really don't want to fail highschool, but there is so much more going on that school usually takes a backburner.

I also tend to have problems with sleeping. No matter how much rest I get the night before, I still fall asleep in school. I don't know why this is, and I don't have this problem anywhere else. But even if I'd gotten twelve hours of sleep the night before (I usually get 6-7hrs, have experimented with more but it never worked out.) I still fall asleep.

This isn't normal tiredness, either... There's nothing I can do about it. I get so exhausted that I start seeing double, lose my ability to write, falling asleep for periods of time while I'm still sitting upright, and hearing/seeing things that aren't really there because I'm halfway dreaming. You'd think I never got any sleep, but I've been getting plenty rest and yet it still happens everyday without fail. I've taken to simply putting my head down and trying to rest so that I can stay awake in my other classes, but this has caused my formerly sympathetic teachers (because even if I was tired I would try with all my might to stay awake) to look down on me and think of me as slacking off in class. (because now I just give in and put my head down.)

I could use some serious advice on what to do. Thanks.

 

[Farida]

You need help. You should speak to a responsible adult, like a counselor at school or an aunt or an adult that you can trust. Or have a local pastor or someone talk to her.


The stress/fear is what is causing you lack of sleep. It could be depression too. You get sleepy at school because you feel safer/freer in that environment and you are exhausted. You really need to talk to someone.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

To answer your question. Sounds more like an off-topic thread to me.

Relationship Forum Talk about anything relating to your marriage, being single, interracial relationship, break ups, etc (male-female relationships only)

 

[Much2much41]

You need help. You should speak to a responsible adult, like a counselor at school or an aunt or an adult that you can trust. Or have a local pastor or someone talk to her.


The stress/fear is what is causing you lack of sleep. It could be depression too. You get sleepy at school because you feel safer/freer in that environment and you are exhausted. You really need to talk to someone.

I agree with all of this, especially speaking to a counselor, who could inform your teachers that there are issues in the home that are contributing to your grades slipping and may be able to devise plans to help you catch back up. Also, is there any way possible to limit your time away from home, such as going to the library? You can study in peace, so at least you can catch up on your schooling, plus get any additional help you may need online or via library books w/o having to bother checking them out. I'm sorry you're going through all of this, and I hope your situation improves.

 

[Vixen17]

To answer your question. Sounds more like an off-topic thread to me.

Relationship Forum Talk about anything relating to your marriage, being single, interracial relationship, break ups, etc (male-female relationships only)

Wow is that all your concerned about, when this young lady has a problem...

 

[MiamiHottie]

Hi... Yeah, it's me again. You guys gave me pretty sound advice last time, so here I am again.

This time my problem is with my mother. Before you ask... living anywhere else is not an option. She is the main cause of stress in my life, and I don't know what to do about it. I am failing two important classes in my school because of the stress at home. I don't know what to do.

I won't go into details, but suffice it to say she is verbally abusive. I am paranoid of her. I usually try not to leave my room when she's at home. I've tried talking to her, to no avail.

I really don't want to fail highschool, but there is so much more going on that school usually takes a backburner.

I also tend to have problems with sleeping. No matter how much rest I get the night before, I still fall asleep in school. I don't know why this is, and I don't have this problem anywhere else. But even if I'd gotten twelve hours of sleep the night before (I usually get 6-7hrs, have experimented with more but it never worked out.) I still fall asleep.

This isn't normal tiredness, either... There's nothing I can do about it. I get so exhausted that I start seeing double, lose my ability to write, falling asleep for periods of time while I'm still sitting upright, and hearing/seeing things that aren't really there because I'm halfway dreaming. You'd think I never got any sleep, but I've been getting plenty rest and yet it still happens everyday without fail. I've taken to simply putting my head down and trying to rest so that I can stay awake in my other classes, but this has caused my formerly sympathetic teachers (because even if I was tired I would try with all my might to stay awake) to look down on me and think of me as slacking off in class. (because now I just give in and put my head down.)

I could use some serious advice on what to do. Thanks.

I so empathize with you. My relationship was very strained with my mother during my high school years. I even moved out and had an my own apt for a month until she made come back home. After that incident, our communication was a little better. At the time it seemed like an eternity before I turned 18. my advice...Try to keep yourself busy, stay in school longer or go to the library and do school work. Today my mother and I are cool and have a great relationship but I could never live with her though.

 

[JamericanGurl]

Wow is that all your concerned about, when this young lady has a problem...

ITA!!!^^^^^^
OP My heart goes out to you!!! I normally don't make very long posts but I will make an exception.

I'm effie on advising you, because a lot of caution has to be attached to my advice. I do believe the other ladies have offered sound advice. I can only concur that you need to speak to a responsible adult. I may be over stepping, but I think you may need to contact an outside party who can assist both you and your mom. Your mom may be going through a rough patch? Her issues are hers and they need to be addressed professionally immediately IMO! Please don't look at seeking out help as "telling on your mom", because seeking help will benefit the both of you.

My mom died when I was 13 and my dad died when I was 16. I didn't have a good relationship with my mom, but I adored my dad. I really didn't think much about it until June 1986 when I had my daughter. It was at that very moment when her tiny little hand grasped my finger that I knew I had to Love and Protect her. At the same time I also had a very lonely feeling, because I didn't have a mom to share my beautiful baby with. I didn't have a mom who could give me advice and support. It was a whole ball of emotions that really set me back. Because, my mom didn't nurture me and I was so afraid of not being able to nurture my child because I didn't know how...So I thought? I took another look at my baby and decided I would never let anything stop me from being a loving supportive mother to her! I did just fine! my daughter and I have a wonderful relationship...Although we get on each other's nerves at times. I can honestly say I'm a great mom.

I now have 2 children and I still wish they both had my parents in their lives. I couldn't fix my parent's death, but you can fix the relationship between you and your mom. I often think if I'd been allowed just a little more time with my mom that maybe our relationship would have improved? This is something that haunts me to this day! Being a mom has taught me how much children of all ages need their mothers. I'm not kicking dads to the curb, because again my dad was wonderful! I'm saying that there is nothing like a good mother/daughter relationship. I'm a grown old lady and I'm envious of the close relationships my friends have with their moms.

I babbled out this dissertation to say to you.....
Please don't let your mom slip away from you! If there is a problem, please seek out help for the two of you so your relationship can be repaired! Sometimes mom's get overwhelmed. However, keep in mind that your mom is the adult and she has to be willing to improve herself. If you seek out help and your mom doesn't improve...It's not your fault! At that point you will have no choice, but to switch to "me mode". Me mode= doing whatever it takes to keep you safe and out of harms way. Harms Way= Mental, Verbal and Physical Abuse! No child should have to endure any of that! Again, I firmly believe that you should seek out help! Even if your mom gets angry with you...Remember that you are the child and it's her job to protect you! Mental, Verbal, and Physical abuse are signs of neglect. It's a mom's job to protect her child's mind, body, and soul! If she can't, then someone needs to intervene.

I've spent a considerable portion of my life helping young women such as yourself get through some of these tough times. Just know this...You are not alone and there are people that care! It will get better for you!

 

[dlewis]

I had those same problems when I was in high school, really all my life. Once I went off the college and saw a doctor, I was diagnosed with depression.

I only advice I can offer is to seek help from someone, family members, teacher, pastor, etc.......

 

[Suerte]

Hi... Yeah, it's me again. You guys gave me pretty sound advice last time, so here I am again.

This time my problem is with my mother. Before you ask... living anywhere else is not an option. She is the main cause of stress in my life, and I don't know what to do about it. I am failing two important classes in my school because of the stress at home. I don't know what to do.

I won't go into details, but suffice it to say she is verbally abusive. I am paranoid of her. I usually try not to leave my room when she's at home. I've tried talking to her, to no avail.

I really don't want to fail highschool, but there is so much more going on that school usually takes a backburner.

I also tend to have problems with sleeping. No matter how much rest I get the night before, I still fall asleep in school. I don't know why this is, and I don't have this problem anywhere else. But even if I'd gotten twelve hours of sleep the night before (I usually get 6-7hrs, have experimented with more but it never worked out.) I still fall asleep.

This isn't normal tiredness, either... There's nothing I can do about it. I get so exhausted that I start seeing double, lose my ability to write, falling asleep for periods of time while I'm still sitting upright, and hearing/seeing things that aren't really there because I'm halfway dreaming. You'd think I never got any sleep, but I've been getting plenty rest and yet it still happens everyday without fail. I've taken to simply putting my head down and trying to rest so that I can stay awake in my other classes, but this has caused my formerly sympathetic teachers (because even if I was tired I would try with all my might to stay awake) to look down on me and think of me as slacking off in class. (because now I just give in and put my head down.)

I could use some serious advice on what to do. Thanks.

Giiiirrrrrrrlllllll..... been there and done that one!

You need to talk to someone. Seriously.

My relationship with my mother has affected every single area of my life.

Please work on this now while you are young. I'd suggest therapy for venting and strategic life planning purposes.

View your schoolwork as an escape plan. Get those grades, so you can get out. A therapist can help you focus all your energy in the areas that will create a route out of your home.

Succeed at high school and you can succeed at college so you can succeed at a career and succeed at a good paycheck so you can escape and never have to look back.

Lay your road one stone at a time and don't get down on yourself or become obsessive about it... but remember that you are your own ticket out of there

Good luck.

 

[Vinyl]

I tried talking to her about it this morning to no avail... she thought I was trying to say that I wanted her not to care about me and not say anything to me.

But at least I tried.

 

[JamericanGurl]

I tried talking to her about it this morning to no avail... she thought I was trying to say that I wanted her not to care about me and not say anything to me.

But at least I tried.

Please talk to a professional!