Do Men Really Respect You More if you "Wait"/Make Him Wait???

[cocoberry10]

I just had to ask this question. I will probably also post in OT, since it gets more traffic. This is the age-old question. I would like to discuss. Do you really believe that a man respects you more if you make him wait for the nookie (as in sex)? I’m not asking this from a personal perspective, but I am curious. Let’s discuss! Feel free to post your thoughts!

 

[FlowerHair]

I think it depends on what you mean by waiting. I would like to put it the other way around and say that a man will most likely be suspicious if you have sex on the first date.

I don't think they expect to wait until the wedding night either

 

[blackmaven]

Giving up the goodys first date probably will not hear from them again. Let's wait awhile get to know each other a man will respect you.

 

[*Frisky*]

I think it depends on the man...if that is all he wanted and he gets it, then maybe you won't hear from him again but there are also men that respect a woman for being true to herself and her attitude about sex and not playing the "I'm making him wait" game if that is not what she really wants to do.

 

[gone_fishing]

While I won't really put a time limit on that type of intimacy (for others) - I definitely think a woman should wait. I have 6 brothers and you should hear some of the things they say.

I also have a lot of really good guy friends. They know it's a double standard but they don't seem to care.

I set my good friend up with a guy friend of mine and she gave it up on their first "official" date since they had met and hung out a bit.

Until then, he liked her but he said after that he couldn't trust her. He felt like if she was that easy with him then she must be that easy with other guys.

Well I countered saying you slept with her too...but all he had to say in reply was that's different. I'm a guy.

No it's not fair but it's the way the world is. So yes...please make him wait. Make him get to know you. Give yourself time to get to know him.

One thing I've told my niece is that before sex - a woman can think a lot more clearly when deciding if a guy is a keepr or not. So spend a lot of time trying to make up your mind about that before you give him your goodies. Once you have sex with him and that darned "emotional attachment" and "love is blind" syndrome kicks in...it may be a lot more difficult (for you emotionally) to kick him to the curb.

Just a thought.

 

[winterinatl]

Waiting for the right reason is the best. You really aren't "waiting" perse; you are giving each other the chance to really get to know one another before you give up the goods.

I am finding out lots about my bf by waiting; there is no rush for us and I have enjoyed truly getting to be his friend and know him. He is becoming my best friend, and I think that is the way it should be.

 

[gone_fishing]

Just out of curiosity....

What good can come from rushing into a sexual relationship? Seriously.
For all the time we spend thinking about whether we should have sex yet or not...how many consider what benefit there is beyond just getting your nut.

Regardless of whether or not he thinks it's better to wait - you should come up with your own belief system about why you should wait. I would go so far as to say that it's probably never a good idea from any standpoint to hook up that early on. I just can't see anything good coming from it.

 

[january noir]

I think it depends on the man...if that is all he wanted and he gets it, then maybe you won't hear from again but there are also men that respect a woman for being true to herself and her attitude about sex and not playing the "I'm making him wait" game if that is not what she really wants to do.

I agree. It does depend on the man AND their level of maturity and views about sex. I know this for certain.

 

[*Frisky*]

Just out of curiosity....

What good can come from rushing into a sexual relationship? Seriously.
For all the time we spend thinking about whether we should have sex yet or not...how many consider what benefit there is beyond just getting your nut.

Regardless of whether or not he thinks it's better to wait - you should come up with your own belief system about why you should wait. I would go so far as to say that it's probably never a good idea from any standpoint to hook up that early on. I just can't see anything good coming from it.

I know one good thing that can come out of it is to know if you are sexually compatible or not..who wants to wait a zillion years and then when it finally does happen, it wasn't satisfying for various reasons and to most people, a fulfilled sex life is a must in the relationship.

 

[Keen]

I know one good thing that can come out of it is to know if you are sexually compatible or not..who wants to wait a zillion years and then when it finally does happen, it wasn't satisfying for various reasons and to most people, a fulfilled sex life is a must in the relationship.

I hear you but sex is not even on the top three reason for divorce so why should it be on top of the list when considering compatibility?

 

[MzLady78]

I think it depends on the man...if that is all he wanted and he gets it, then maybe you won't hear from him again but there are also men that respect a woman for being true to herself and her attitude about sex and not playing the "I'm making him wait" game if that is not what she really wants to do.

Yep.

I said something similiar in the thread that's posted in OT.

 

[Nikki253]

I just had to ask this question. I will probably also post in OT, since it gets more traffic. This is the age-old question. I would like to discuss. Do you really believe that a man respects you more if you make him wait for the nookie (as in sex)? I’m not asking this from a personal perspective, but I am curious. Let’s discuss! Feel free to post your thoughts!

That is a good question..however a better question would be do women respect themselves more if they make a man wait?

 

[NYAmicas]

From the majority of men who've spoken to on the topic, they do respect a female more if they have to wait. I think I've only heard a couple of men refer to waiting as a game and they dont respect a women for playing it.
Most importantly I think its up to the woman and how she feels about herself and her sexuality because this double standard bs doesnt wash and in the end its different strokes for different folks.

 

[cocoberry10]

I think it depends on what you mean by waiting. I would like to put it the other way around and say that a man will most likely be suspicious if you have sex on the first date.

I don't think they expect to wait until the wedding night either

I kind of agree with this!

 

[cocoberry10]

I think it depends on the man...if that is all he wanted and he gets it, then maybe you won't hear from him again but there are also men that respect a woman for being true to herself and her attitude about sex and not playing the "I'm making him wait" game if that is not what she really wants to do.

I see what you mean. And I do agree with your points.

 

[cocoberry10]

While I won't really put a time limit on that type of intimacy (for others) - I definitely think a woman should wait. I have 6 brothers and you should hear some of the things they say.

I also have a lot of really good guy friends. They know it's a double standard but they don't seem to care.

I set my good friend up with a guy friend of mine and she gave it up on their first "official" date since they had met and hung out a bit.

Until then, he liked her but he said after that he couldn't trust her. He felt like if she was that easy with him then she must be that easy with other guys.
Well I countered saying you slept with her too...but all he had to say in reply was that's different. I'm a guy.

No it's not fair but it's the way the world is. So yes...please make him wait. Make him get to know you. Give yourself time to get to know him.

One thing I've told my niece is that before sex - a woman can think a lot more clearly when deciding if a guy is a keepr or not. So spend a lot of time trying to make up your mind about that before you give him your goodies. Once you have sex with him and that darned "emotional attachment" and "love is blind" syndrome kicks in...it may be a lot more difficult (for you emotionally) to kick him to the curb.

Just a thought.

The red bolded is a classic guy sentiment IMO!!!!!!!!

 

[cocoberry10]

Just out of curiosity....

What good can come from rushing into a sexual relationship? Seriously.
For all the time we spend thinking about whether we should have sex yet or not...how many consider what benefit there is beyond just getting your nut.

Regardless of whether or not he thinks it's better to wait - you should come up with your own belief system about why you should wait. I would go so far as to say that it's probably never a good idea from any standpoint to hook up that early on. I just can't see anything good coming from it.

 

[envybeauty]

Men will respect a woman who has her ish together. Regardless of whether she gives it up day one or day 101.

If she is otherwise careless (not paying bills, no steady job, bad credit, etc.), then he will not have more respect for her simply because she waited a long time. He will not want to get to know her better (womanese for want to marry her).

On the other hand, a confident, successful, ambitious woman who handles herself well in life....he will try to get to know her even if she gave it up day one.

 

[cocoberry10]

OT, but slightly within the issue. Do you all think guys separate a woman who “fools around” with them, from one who goes all the way (i.e. if you were dating for a little while and you “fool around” but don’t have intercourse)? This is something my friends and I have discussed, but I don’t really have an answer to this???!

 

[envybeauty]

OT, but slightly within the issue. Do you all think guys separate a woman who “fools around” with them, from one who goes all the way (i.e. if you were dating for a little while and you “fool around” but don’t have intercourse)? This is something my friends and I have discussed, but I don’t really have an answer to this???!

Not a real man. Maybe teenagers but men. Either you sleep with them or you don't. There is no middle ground with them.

 

[envybeauty]

Just out of curiosity....

What good can come from rushing into a sexual relationship? Seriously.
For all the time we spend thinking about whether we should have sex yet or not...how many consider what benefit there is beyond just getting your nut.

Regardless of whether or not he thinks it's better to wait - you should come up with your own belief system about why you should wait. I would go so far as to say that it's probably never a good idea from any standpoint to hook up that early on. I just can't see anything good coming from it.

I agree with Marie. Also plenty of bad apples were/are discovered by women after they waited until marriage so 'waiting' is not a determinative factor in how great the relationship can/will be with men. Many on this board have testified to this.

can the mods consolidate these two threads.......

 

[cocoberry10]

Delete. Double post!

 

[cocoberry10]

Not a real man. Maybe teenagers but men. Either you sleep with them or you don't. There is no middle ground with them.

Confusion (sorry). So if you fool around with them, but don’t have sex, in their mind, you slept with them?? Is that what you are saying? Or are you saying the opposite? Thanks!

 

[Princess4real]

Men will respect a woman who has her ish together. Regardless of whether she gives it up day one or day 101.

If she is otherwise careless (not paying bills, no steady job, bad credit, etc.), then he will not have more respect for her simply because she waited a long time. He will not want to get to know her better (womanese for want to marry her).

On the other hand, a confident, successful, ambitious woman who handles herself well in life....he will try to get to know her even if she gave it up day one.

I work on a military base and I totally disagree with that statement.

 

[dlewis]

I have nothing to add to this but I wish I had waited and wish I had married a virgin. But maybe if I could look at his penis before we married to be sure it was an adequate size. ummmm IDK. Ignore my post.

 

[*Frisky*]

I hear you but sex is not even on the top three reason for divorce so why should it be on top of the list when considering compatibility?

I dont know what number it is on the list but it is def on there

I dont know too many woman that continued a relationship if they werent being satisfied sexually...they might have continued on if they were benefiting in other ways but 9 times out of 10, they had a piece on the side or at least thought about it.

 

[*Frisky*]

I have nothing to add to this but I wish I had waited and wish I had married a virgin. But maybe if I could look at his penis before we married to be sure it was an adequate size. ummmm IDK. Ignore my post.

see...these things need to be known BEFORE the marriage or if you are considering a long term relationship.

 

[Princess4real]

I have nothing to add to this but I wish I had waited and wish I had married a virgin. But maybe if I could look at his penis before we married to be sure it was an adequate size. ummmm IDK. Ignore my post.

It would be ok to look at the penis, to see if it's something you can work with, but touching it would have made you a fast ***!

 

[cocoberry10]

I have nothing to add to this but I wish I had waited and wish I had married a virgin. But maybe if I could look at his penis before we married to be sure it was an adequate size. ummmm IDK. Ignore my post.

DLewis, I am surprised (but I agree about seeing the equipment first, J/K)

 

[january noir]

I just had to add this...


I've played it both ways and this is what I found out...

When a man wants to be with you in a "legitimate" relationship, waiting or not waiting for sex WILL NOT be an issue.

There are some men who will say that they don't respect a woman who don't make them wait, but they are not being honest or going along with the popular notion. It's an issue for those that need reasons to string women along....in other words, "keep us in our place."