Divorce

yellagirl730 said:
He is supposedly coming this evening to pick up his remaining things. I don't consider myself racist but I really have a problem with him leaving me for a white woman. Pray for me that I can make it through the evening, without slapping him (just kidding, he is not worth it).
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Wow... I know you're really hurting right now, but please remember to be encouraged. It is a lot to deal with, I realize that...but please take care of yourself. Take one day at a time. If you feel like you need to cry, then do it and KIM.

I hope and pray things work out for you and your daughter.
 
No, he's not worth it. NO MAN is...
I'm hurting for you Yella'.


REMEMBER THIS....


What goes around, Comes around.
 
yellagirl730 said:
He is supposedly coming this evening to pick up his remaining things. I don't consider myself racist but I really have a problem with him leaving me for a white woman. Pray for me that I can make it through the evening, without slapping him (just kidding, he is not worth it).
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Oh dear. <<<< HUGS >>>>
 
Hey, uhm, yellagirl, I really and truly dont want to be a buzz killer....but (please get tested for any STDS). He's stepped out of marriage and that puts you at a major risk.
 
yellagirl730 said:
He is supposedly coming this evening to pick up his remaining things. I don't consider myself racist but I really have a problem with him leaving me for a white woman. Pray for me that I can make it through the evening, without slapping him (just kidding, he is not worth it).
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Stay strong girl!! Remember to rely on God for all your strength. You can leave your burdens at the Cross.
 
It may not seem like it now, but he and that other woman did you a favor. You and your child deserve so much better, and now he has made room for you to pursue it.

Be Blessed, and act on faith. God knows what he's doing.

I am truly a believer that trials and tribulations are sometimes meant to clear the way for true blessings. It is my prayer that this is the case for you as well.
 
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:bighug:

yellagirl, please stay strong and do whatever you need in order to make sure that YOU and your little girl are taken care of. I fully understand how hurtful this is for you right now - I can feel the pain in your posts. I know you can rise about this betrayal. You are so much better than he is treating you!
 
Thanks again for all the posts. I went to see a therapist Tues. She suggested I take some meds to get thru this, I have taken them and I feel better but don't want to have to take something to get thru the day. I just feel so rejected and alone.
 
sunflower said:
Pick yourself up chica. Do you have a close friend that can be there for you?I'm really sorry to hear this is happening to you but now is the time for you to pick up and dust off. He is spending the night with someone else and you are still married? You need to document, document, document, everything. I know you do not want a divorce therefore I am not going to tell you what to do on that front. I will say that if this situation look like it is heading towards divorce that you want to be prepared. As someone said earlier when you get finally get pissed off you do not want to be running around like a mad woman wondering why you have not done A B or C. Document the times and dates that he is gone with his girlfriend. Start looking into finding your own place or kicking him out. You do not have to kick him out or move right now but when you have finally had enough you will want to have something in place. As the other ladies have said look into retaining a lawyer because you can always have him pay your fees. Take care of yourself and get into some counseling for yourself and possibly your child if you think she could benefit from it. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I wish you the best of luck. You can and will get through this. It may not seem like it now, right this minute, but trust me you will come out of this in one piece. As a mother you know you will come out of this because you have that precious child to think about.
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I agree...Get you a journal and note when he asked for the divorce, when he confessed to cheating, when he left to stay with his mistress!! Write EVERYTHING down, even converstions you two have, it will be very helpful to you. Don't let the sadness and hurt keep you from protecting you and your daughter! Keep any voice messages or text messages you receive.
 
I am sorry to hear this but right now you are grieving. Please continue to see your counselor to help you get the tools you need to cope during this time of loss. Medication will take the edge off but you need those tools to get you up, over and back on track when YOU are ready. My heart goes out to you.
 
My heart goes out to you. What kind of man is this??? Not much of one. How he can do this to his family is beyond me. First of all, know that you are not alone. We're here to support and encourage you. And as much as you're hurting, I hope you'll find the strength to find a great attorney so that you can look out for yourself and your daughter.
 
big, big hugs your way mama! things will work out...it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but God has a plan for you and your hubby and it will be revealed on His time. Just follow His will and spend a great deal of time in prayer and seeking if you're spiritual.
 
yellagirl730 said:
He is supposedly coming this evening to pick up his remaining things. I don't consider myself racist but I really have a problem with him leaving me for a white woman. Pray for me that I can make it through the evening, without slapping him (just kidding, he is not worth it).
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Girl, I'd feel the same way. Don't feel bad about it. Idk y, but in my mind that's the ultimate insult (no offense to anyone out there).

Be strong my love, they both will reap what they sew, karma will have your back.
 
I feel so stupid, after listening to him say he wanted to get back together I get slapped (not literally) in the face again.
 
My hubby and I are trying to make it work. I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. Please keep my family in your prayers.
 
We're here for you and are keeping you and your family in our prayers. A lot of damage has been done. I sincerely hope that you and your husband will go into couples counseling to work things through. Also if your marriage is to succeed, "Becky" has to be out the picture, no contact - absolutely none!! Is your husband willing to cut all ties with her and go into couples counseling with you? If not , this will be an uphill battle. BTW -- this "Becky" sounds like pure trash. He would have to get tested for STDs before he could get with me.
 
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yellagirl730 said:
My hubby and I are trying to make it work. I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. Please keep my family in your prayers.
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Best wishes to you! As suggested, I would definitely consider marriage counseling. Most importantly, continue to stay in prayer!
 
donna894 said:
We're here for you and are keeping you and your family in our prayers. A lot of damage has been done. I sincerely hope that you and your husband will go into couples counseling to work things through. Also if your marriage is to succeed, "Becky" has to be out the picture, no contact - absolutely none!! Is your husband willing to cut all ties with her and go into couples counseling with you? If not , this will be an uphill battle. BTW -- this "Becky" sounds like pure trash. He would have to get tested for STDs before he could get with me.
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I know, lol. I thought about that last night when he put his arm around me. I thought I wish a m----r f----r would
 
Do you think that he wants to come back now because his plans with the other woman didn't work out like they planned?

Anyway if you two can work things out and be happy that is all that matters. I hope he is sincere with you.
 
Yella Please be careful. His life needs to be an open book, cellphone, email passwords need to be given to you. You and he both need to meet with "Becky" and tell her that it is over, she needs to see the two of you together, united and committed to making your marriage work.

If you do this know that she will try to tell you things about your husband to make you mad and leave, let her know that it's a new beginning and the mistakes that he made are in the past, just like her.

When my ex and myself were going through counseling the therapist suggested this and my husband said no. That's when I knew it was over.

I'm glad that you and your husband are staying together. you will be in my prayers.
 
worthy2b said:
Yella Please be careful. His life needs to be an open book, cellphone, email passwords need to be given to you. You and he both need to meet with "Becky" and tell her that it is over, she needs to see the two of you together, united and committed to making your marriage work.

If you do this know that she will try to tell you things about your husband to make you mad and leave, let her know that it's a new beginning and the mistakes that he made are in the past, just like her.

When my ex and myself were going through counseling the therapist suggested this and my husband said no. That's when I knew it was over.

I'm glad that you and your husband are staying together. you will be in my prayers.
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He does need to earn his wife trusts. I am not so sure using GPS technique is good idea. If her husband still wants to see Becky believe me a man will find a way. New emails can be created easily. I would not want to meet his mistress at all. Stay clear of Becky before you whipp her a$$. Keep your self looking good daily. Good to hear he wants to try make marriage work.
 
blackmaven said:
He does need to earn his wife trusts. I am not so sure using GPS technique is good idea. If her husband still wants to see Becky believe me a man will find a way. New emails can be created easily. I would not want to meet his mistress at all. Stay clear of Becky before you whipp her a$$. Keep your self looking good daily. Good to hear he wants to try make marriage work.
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Whether Yella meets Becky or not, this is a good acid test to see how committed her husband is to making their marriage work. If he's committed, he'll do whatever it takes. If he refuses (probably because he would want to keep his options open), then he needs to be kicked to the curb once and for all.
 
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Girl my prayers are with you but I would seriously have made a bee line to the Dr. as well as to the lawyer.
I believe in working out marriges but infedility as well as asking you to pay for things. There's a blatant lack of respect and issues. There has to be boundaries and it seems like he broke all of them. Good Luck on whatever you do and try to do what's best!
 
I read through this thread and I'm sorry but this is soooo crazy, yes its painful to be in a relationship married or jus as a girlfriend "give it your all" just to break up later and feel rejected and alone especially when you feel you did nothing wrong, I get that. What I dont get is why everything isnt taken into consideration during reconciliation or even during the whole process.

This man told this woman that he wanted a divorce, a D-I-V-O-R-C-E not a seperation, not time apart, a divorce ,why, because he later admits he is seeing someone else. This is April when we are told this, whenever he moved out whether it was May or the beginning of June it wasnt that long before he was coming back to this same woman who he no longer wanted to be tied to, who was stressing and depressed, couldnt eat, felt rejected and alone and has a young child, he comes back to this woman and says he wants to be back with her.

Did anyone question what may have happened? Why did he suddenly want to come back home? Was it just because he realized the "grass wasnt greener on the other side"? Or maybe "Becky" never wanted him to move in with her, in the first place? Maybe "Becky" got tired of him? Maybe "Becky" wasnt doing everything for him that his wife was doing and thats why he wanted to come back "home"? hmmmmm

OP, I dont think you should take him back so easily, no matter how broken and alone you may feel. If you truly did nothing wrong and never saw even a break up coming then you should question every bit of him coming back to you. In fact he shouldnt even be staying in the same house with you right now and if thats too much for you then be in seperate rooms. Do you understand how low he so obviously made you feel? You were put on medication! Make him understand what he has done to you, he needs to earn you back. I just feel you should take some time to love yourself and your daughter, realize though you may love this man, you must love yourself and your daughter more and do whats really best for the two of you.

Yeah I know easy to say and not to do but if this is not reconciled correctly then you are going to continue to feel insecure about what the two of you do/dont have. You may not feel it now but you may be disgusted by him later on, the trust may never be
re-built, things as you may have already realized may never be the same no matter what. Think about your daughter if not anything else.


I dont know maybe I just dont know what I'm talking about.
 
Sounds about right to me. Good advice.


Blkrose said:
I read through this thread and I'm sorry but this is soooo crazy, yes its painful to be in a relationship married or jus as a girlfriend "give it your all" just to break up later and feel rejected and alone especially when you feel you did nothing wrong, I get that. What I dont get is why everything isnt taken into consideration during reconciliation or even during the whole process.

This man told this woman that he wanted a divorce, a D-I-V-O-R-C-E not a seperation, not time apart, a divorce ,why, because he later admits he is seeing someone else. This is April when we are told this, whenever he moved out whether it was May or the beginning of June it wasnt that long before he was coming back to this same woman who he no longer wanted to be tied to, who was stressing and depressed, couldnt eat, felt rejected and alone and has a young child, he comes back to this woman and says he wants to be back with her.

Did anyone question what may have happened? Why did he suddenly want to come back home? Was it just because he realized the "grass wasnt greener on the other side"? Or maybe "Becky" never wanted him to move in with her, in the first place? Maybe "Becky" got tired of him? Maybe "Becky" wasnt doing everything for him that his wife was doing and thats why he wanted to come back "home"? hmmmmm

OP, I dont think you should take him back so easily, no matter how broken and alone you may feel. If you truly did nothing wrong and never saw even a break up coming then you should question every bit of him coming back to you. In fact he shouldnt even be staying in the same house with you right now and if thats too much for you then be in seperate rooms. Do you understand how low he so obviously made you feel? You were put on medication! Make him understand what he has done to you, he needs to earn you back. I just feel you should take some time to love yourself and your daughter, realize though you may love this man, you must love yourself and your daughter more and do whats really best for the two of you.

Yeah I know easy to say and not to do but if this is not reconciled correctly then you are going to continue to feel insecure about what the two of you do/dont have. You may not feel it now but you may be disgusted by him later on, the trust may never be
re-built, things as you may have already realized may never be the same no matter what. Think about your daughter if not anything else.


I dont know maybe I just dont know what I'm talking about.
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