disappearing acts

[sunshinebeautiful]

Maybe a few months ago, I corresponded with, and talked on the phone to a young man I "met" via Match.com. One particular day we were supposed to have our first date in person (he lives about an hour away from me). We spoke when he was on his lunch break, decided we would go out that evening, and he would call me back once he got off of work for a final decision on the time/venue. Needless to say that evening came and went without a single phone call.

I gave him a "semi-pass" that maybe there was some kind of emergency and he would contact me the next day with at least some kind of explanation. When that didn't happen, I totally wrote him off. I figured if he was rude and inconsiderate enough to completely blow me off, then I wasn't about to chase him down. I didn't hear from this man again until he started calling my phone again a few days ago! Mind you, weeks and several holidays have elapsed since the infamous blow off.

What's up with that? Why men do stuff like this? And, no, I didn't answer or return his phone calls after the "disappearing act." I just chalked it up to "he's not that into me" and wrote him off in search of someone who is into me.

 

[prettybrowneyescutie]

I'm sorry sweetie. I just don't get man. They really should come with a manual. The only thing I could figure was that maybe when it came down to meeting he got nervous and could it.

 

[MizAvalon]

I've done my fair share of online dating and I've found that a lot of people aren't interested in actually meeting or dating you. Folks are perfectly content emailing back and forth forever. It's like why did you even bother putting your profile on a dating site if you're not trying to meet a woman? Maybe that's what happened here? When it came time for a real life meeting, he freaked out?

In a lot of men's profiles, they indicate that women do the same thing. Want to just keep up these cyber relationships and never pursue anything in the real world.

 

[blue_flower]

The internet is a fantasy. I gave up on on-line dating sites. He had a lot of nerve calling you back for anything.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

I've done my fair share of online dating and I've found that a lot of people aren't interested in actually meeting or dating you. Folks are perfectly content emailing back and forth forever. It's like why did you even bother putting your profile on a dating site if you're not trying to meet a woman? Maybe that's what happened here? When it came time for a real life meeting, he freaked out?

In a lot of men's profiles, they indicate that women do the same thing. Want to just keep up these cyber relationships and never pursue anything in the real world.

Yeah, I've had that experience too. Folks are ultra-flaky via online dating. I'm actually trying to meet somebody, so I don't get it. erplexed

 

[LadyCee]

what about the men that you dont meet online yet do the same thing??? can someone else me this?

 

[JFemme]

If I were a betting woman, I'd venture to say they are prioritizing whom to contact according some system based on their preferences in the moment.

(sorry that happened,SSB):Rose:

charge it to the game. he was not worthy anyhow...

 

[SugarBaby]

What's up with that? Why men do stuff like this? And, no, I didn't answer or return his phone calls after the "disappearing act." I just chalked it up to "he's not that into me" and wrote him off in search of someone who is into me.

Why give it any thought?

He doesn't sound like the effort.

We need to say thank you for giving us the "headsup" early.

 

[Bunny77]

A trusted advisor of mine said this about online dating.

Look at it like finding a needle in a haystack.

Or consider it the Internet equivalent of going to a bar. You are going to meet so many losers, so many dudes who will ask for your number just because they're in a bar and had a few drinks and feel like asking... then they never bother to call.

You may very well meet your husband at a bar or on the Internet, but it's not entirely likely. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try, but if you look at it more from that perspective, the people who go online without serious intentions won't seem as annoying!

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

what about the men that you dont meet online yet do the same thing??? can someone else me this?

This has happened to me too. More times than I can count.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Why give it any thought?

He doesn't sound like the effort.

We need to say thank you for giving us the "headsup" early.

I'm not giving it any thought. I'm beyond moved on. I just felt like posting about it.

But seriously, this has happened, meeting folks IRL and online. I just don't get it. The lack of consideration and then you have the nerve to just pop up at some later date like nothing ever happened?

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

Ladies!!!! Men can tell if you are the type to jump into bed on the first night. They can tell. If they don't get with you, then they figured out they would not score. This is painfully obvious with online dating. Think about it, a man HAS to go online to meet someone? Yes, some guys are online and are just wonderful. But there are "predators" out there looking for an easy time. Plus, with the nature of online dating and profiles, men (and women) are eternally looking for the next best.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Ladies!!!! Men can tell if you are the type to jump into bed on the first night. They can tell. If they don't get with you, then they figured out they would not score. This is painfully obvious with online dating. Think about it, a man HAS to go online to meet someone? Yes, some guys are online and are just wonderful. But there are "predators" out there looking for an easy time. Plus, with the nature of online dating and profiles, men (and women) are eternally looking for the next best.

This is true, which makes it hard to truly find someone. Oh well.

 

[SugarBaby]

I'm not giving it any thought. I'm beyond moved on. I just felt like posting about it.

But seriously, this has happened, meeting folks IRL and online. I just don't get it. The lack of consideration and then you have the nerve to just pop up at some later date like nothing ever happened?

I think I need to work on my internet conversation etiquette....I am agreeing with you, that he is not worth the effort.

I know when hurtful things happen to me, I put way too much effort in thinking about the "Whys" and What fors"...I am I guess, speaking to myself, as I type and say to you (and me in my head) Don't giive people with no character the time of day. Nothing they do can ever make sense.

Hope my original post was not rude or short, I didn't mean it that way.

 

[LadyCee]

This has happened to me too. More times than I can count.

so wat do you do? its pretty annoying to me

 

[NYAmicas]

Whatever the reason he aint ish and doesn't deserve you. I'd pick up and act straight up crazy on his behind, the least he could do for me is provide chuckles.

 

[laCriolla]

some easy *you know what* came across his way and so he took that, instead of going out with you.


either way it sucks, sorry for your experience. we all feel your pain.