Dirty hair revisited: What my long haired friend just confirmed

[LocksOfLuV]

Thanks for the complement. I'm not worried about the differences of opinion at all. I'm on many hair boards and I am used to that. There is a difference between a difference of opinion and being nasty. IMO some of those posts got nasty and I didn't expect it coming from the ladies here that I've gotten to know and adore. I know everyone has their opinion and are free to voice it but have some tact about it. If you don't agree w/ something just bypass it and don't post vs. hurting others feelings.

To say that someone has to stink because they don't shampoo x-amount of times a week is kinda personal you know. But you're right....it's not that serious.....moving on.

Personally I didn't find it offensive and I do not wash that often (only once per week) because it's someone else's opinion. I don't know, maybe it's just me. But I am glad you found it in yourself to move on.


Ps: Breezy your babies!!!!!!!!! They are too cute. Girl you and DH got some pretty kids!

 

[senimoni]

To say that someone has to stink because they don't shampoo x-amount of times a week is kinda personal you know.

I think the thread title may have contributed to a lot of the confusion.

 

[tsiporah]

I completely understand that point, and so does she. My point was, she doesn't fool with CW, shampoo only when it's 4pm on Sun, Tues, Thurs.
I mean, there is nothing systematic about her approach to keeping her hair! She doesn't do harmful things and lets her hair be. Maybe I'm not stating my point exactly the way I mean to, but when I first joined LHCF I was overwhelmed by what people do or swear by as a must do to grown and keep hair... Baggies, CWs, frequent shampoos (WITH shampoo or liquid in addition to water), and the list goes on. For the first few months I felt like a slave to my hair as I was trying to do all that stuff. But after talking with her I was completely UNDERwhelmed by just how much you really have to do to grow and keep long hair. Of course I had started practicing the things she's said over the last 2-3 months due to shear laziness and have not had any problems.
Before I joing LHCF my hair itself was very health, it just wasn't long. But, when I joined and started doing all of the stuff that was mentioned, initially my hair looked WORSE! So, for me, I went back to what I knew which was no heat. I did pick up the low manipulation from LHCF and moisterizing, but other than that it's been a trial in pairing things down. The best thing that I have done since LHCF is not allowing my stylist to trim my hair. THat has been the biggest step in me finally seeing progress.

This is exactly the point. To leave the hair alone. I believe in doing just that. The only time I fool with it, is to do good. Such as henna'ing once a week and then heavy moisturizing afterwards. But other than that, I don't use heat or bother it in any other way. I only trim when need be. And that maybe once a year, twice at the most.

Tsipy

 

[Vshanell]

Personally I didn't find it offensive and I do not wash that often (only once per week) because it's someone else's opinion. I don't know, maybe it's just me. But I am glad you found it in yourself to move on.


Ps: Breezy your babies!!!!!!!!! They are too cute. Girl you and DH got some pretty kids!

Well I would point out the mean spirited posts.....butttt.....I won't go there .

 

[cocoberry10]

She said she uses a liquid leave in most days and some type of oil. She said it's like hot-six oil, but she adds it as soon as she gets out of the shower. I think folks missed my point. She rinses her hair most days. With plain water, no shampoo and no CW. She doesn't comb it, but she does pull it up in a pony and scruches it with a diffuser. I guess I'll just have to tell her she's nasty with dirty stankin hair.

I don't think she's nasty. I just wasn't sure if she only used water and air dried or used a moisturizer to seal in the moisture. Thanks for the clarification!

Actually in the book, Hair Rules, the author (Anthony Dickey) says you can get your hair clean by rinsing without shampoo and just using plain water. His book is specifically written for women with kinky, curly and wavy hair!

 

[Cayenne0622]

Unfortunately, drama over something so small. I had a feeling that there was something going on overe here because the thread got so big. Ladies, we do have to be able to communicate "kindly" with one another. We are all different and some comments may hurt some people more than they would hurt others. I understand why the OP got a little hurt in this because some of the comments did get kind of ugly. Let's do better with communicating differing opinions. I mean, we are all in this together, right? What if the OP's post does help someone who had been doing too much to her hair and it turns out that she should have been doing very little in order to retain length? Let it help who it helps and if you are not one then just by pass it. Trial and error in this camp. Smooches!

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Wow...this was unexpected.

Again, this is a message board, the written word can be taken WAAAAY out of context...but being tactful never goes out of style.
I'm not saying lie your ass off ("oooh girl, your hair is longer than medusas!") just be truthful AND tactful.

And while I myself would be itchy, stinky (yes, I smelled my head! ) and miserable, it's obvious some people can go for a month or more without using shampoo on their scalp. That works for them.

Thanks FAMU for you info. And everyone...don't let this keep you from sharing all your great ideas and thoeries. That's what keeps us bonded together as a LHCF family.

Just my 2 cents.

WC

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Context seems to be the issue that is causing all this offense. Take a look and if you still see this as me attacking the OP or her friend or yourself for that matter, then there isn't anything left to say.
P quoted Ballsi and I quoted P, that was the beginning and end of a tangent discussion as far as I was concerned.

I'd just like to chime in and say that, as a stylist, I often see women who come in to have their hair done every two weeks. During that time, their hair has not been shampooed, rinsed or cleaned in any other way. As a result, their hair and scalp is dirty, flaky, oily and sometimes smelly. Oftentimes, the flakes are visible in their hair, as well as on their scalp. The water from rinsing their hair is very scummy. This is usually after a two week period.

I hear some of you saying that your hair is not dirty during the prolonged period between shampoos and am curious as to how you manage to keep it so. Please share your methods, as I'd really like to know.

Wow, what are these women mud wrestlers . For real though.....their hair gets like that in just two weeks...dang.

This is not directed an anyone inparticular but I'm just reading through these posts and I'm totally missing the reason why this thread is so controversial. The op is just sharing her friends regimen....what's the debate? I'm guessing it's the in-frequent washing that everyone thinks is so "gross"? If that's what works for her than who are we to judge.

I think that it's because people don't realize that their dirty, nasty, unwashed hair really does STANK.

Just because the funk on your head doesn't smell like underarm funk, that don't make it less funky, just different funky!

I have read many a thread about how folks go weeks without washing their hair "but mines don't stink" and then I see a siggy with and creamy or oily fragranced leave ins. You have just done the equivalent of trying to cover up funk with perfume. That doesn't work on the body and it doesn't work on the head.

But if you really don't think your ish don't stink, ask one of those friends that you know won't lie to you or even better - get a little kid to sniff your 2 month old unwashed hair and tell you what it smells like.... I think some folks go be in for a surprise.

I'm just sayin.

 

[Blossssom]

Thanks for posting this.

I was just about to ask a question concerning washing.

I'm entering my third week of not washing my hair, and I was beginning to wonder how necessary is it for black people (4a/b anyway) to wash our hair.

Thanks again!

 

[Blossssom]

The benefit of frequent washes is not that the hair need to be clean to grow. Frequent washes = frequent moisture. Moist hair is less prone to breakeage. Since your friend wet her hair most days, she is getting the benefits of frequent moisture.

I just use oil to keep the moisture in.

 

[Blossssom]

I completely understand that point, and so does she. My point was, she doesn't fool with CW, shampoo only when it's 4pm on Sun, Tues, Thurs.

You wrong for that! Haha!

 

[Blossssom]

Before I joing LHCF my hair itself was very health, it just wasn't long. But, when I joined and started doing all of the stuff that was mentioned, initially my hair looked WORSE! So, for me, I went back to what I knew which was no heat. I did pick up the low manipulation from LHCF and moisterizing, but other than that it's been a trial in pairing things down. The best thing that I have done since LHCF is not allowing my stylist to trim my hair. THat has been the biggest step in me finally seeing progress.

I do believe you have discovered the real secret to growing long hair: no scissors.

 

[Blossssom]

I was just wondering, dont you guys think some of this is attributed to simply genes and heredity.

Yes, this is still very true. Some people are prone to grow long healthy hair while others have to work at it. It can be done and what works for some doesn't mean it works for others.

We've all seen people who abuse their hair and they still have long hair, so....

 

[jrae]

Thanks for your post FAMUDva. For me the point is, try it, it might work for you. Or, do the opposite, it might work for you instead.

Sometimes, just the things that other people hate on their hair, my hair just loves.

JCoily's post was important. Some people don't know they stank. Please consider it. If it ain't you, don't worry about it.

 

[Blossssom]

I totally agree with this statement! I think that lack of knowledge plays a major role in why we don't retain our length. Before finding LHCF I thought that water was the enemy, I had no idea that water=moisture
I was just putting oils on my hair (and using heat regularly) and thought that was sufficient, now my hair survived in spite of my ignorance, but since finding LHCF and discovering the proper way to care for my hair it is now thriving.

And I'm sure your hair was just fine, AMR. You WERE using oils.

Think about what Famu said. Her friend seldom even washes her hair and it still strives.

 

[Blossssom]

I don't think washing has anything to do with it. It all boils down to styling. If someone spends hours styling their hair and someone else doesn't, and both of them only wash their hair once a month, then obviously the one who doesn't style their hair will have longer, thicker hair.

And with the styling you have to know HOW to style.

Far too often black women want to run the streets with cumbersome hairdos. These hairdos are DEATH to a healthy head of hair.

If you select a simple style that doesn't require hours to create, you and your hair will be better off.

 

[Blossssom]

Exactly. I don't think there's a one answer solution to everyone's hair care needs. All of our hair and bodies are different. We require personalized solutions for everything from skin care to hair care. If not washing works for you, go with it! But I don't want everyone to be mislead to think that this is the solution to their hair care needs. For me, cw'ing & rinsing my hair and scalp frequently is a must like taking a shower and cleansing my body, no part of me is an exception! LOL. Plus, the constant moisture is a huge benefit for my hair. It's all about personal preference.

Yea, you are such a cutie. Whatever you're doing everyday, keep doing it!

 

[Blossssom]

She said she uses a liquid leave in most days and some type of oil. She said it's like hot-six oil, but she adds it as soon as she gets out of the shower. I think folks missed my point. She rinses her hair most days. With plain water, no shampoo and no CW. She doesn't comb it, but she does pull it up in a pony and scruches it with a diffuser. I guess I'll just have to tell her she's nasty with dirty stankin hair.

Oh, I did miss the rinsing everyday so, no, her hair shouldn't stink but I don't think normal black hair stinks after two weeks.

I'm not so much worrying about my hairi stinking. I don't think it stinks and it is long enough for me to smell it myself and it smells fine.

I just don't think black women have to wash/rinse as often as other races do.

I will probably wash this weekend because I'm doing a full blowout next week

 

[Blossssom]

Although it does seem like most people didn't realize that when you originally said that she "wet" her hair daily, you meant she actually rinsed it. I think people thought you meant she just spritzed it or something. I don't know...but I wouldn't bother getting riled up about it.

That's what I thought too, BC. I didn't know her friend was doing a full rinse in the shower.

 

[Blossssom]

Wow, I never thought that this thread would turn out like this. erplexed

Thank you, FAMU, for starting this thread. You took time out of your day to share your info with us, and I'm grateful that you did.

I'm glad she did too. She certainly answered my question.

Me and my almost 3 weeks' old stankin' a$$ head of hair! LOL!

 

[cocoberry10]

I'm glad she did too. She certainly answered my question.

Me and my almost 3 weeks' old stankin' a$$ head of hair! LOL!

Blossssom, that's not you in the avatar is it?????? (j/k girl, you know I would only mess with you like that because you can handle it )

 

[thefineprint]

Keep in mind that just because it works for her doesn't mean it will work for everyone though. Some people's hair grows at a different rate than others. My hair has never grown so fast and retained so much length since keeping it clean and moisturized.

 

[Blossssom]

Blossssom, that's not you in the avatar is it?????? (j/k girl, you know I would only mess with you like that because you can handle it )

Okay! Running around giving out hair advice looking like

Okay! LOLOLOL!

Naw, it's not me... I wish I could get ahold of Teva! Heehee!

She better stop fightin' before she be BALD!

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

I have been a member of this site under various names for almost a month. I think your post slapped me into reality before I got out of hand buying up most of the things people were suggesting. I was filing my reciepts on Sunday and in less than a month I have bought at least $80 worth of stuff. Preparing a list of more stuff. Thank the Lord for a good job and a paid husband. Reality is the hair grow unless your ill the rate may vary for it will grows. The key is maintaining length and maximizing the growth period. Your post freed my soul and I am thankful. It's a reminder to keep it simple.

 

[FAMUDva]

Keep in mind that just because it works for her doesn't mean it will work for everyone though. Some people's hair grows at a different rate than others. My hair has never grown so fast and retained so much length since keeping it clean and moisturized.

Very true.

 

[JOI]

Okay! Running around giving out hair advice looking like

Okay! LOLOLOL!

Naw, it's not me... I wish I could get ahold of Teva! Heehee!

She better stop fightin' before she be BALD!

I thought that was buckwheat

 

[pebbles]

I ain't getting worked up on my end. I just think it's uncalled for to call folks nasty or what ever... just me. It's one thing to say folks can't do "the don't wash thing", but it's an entirely different thing to say some one else gotta be stank or nasty. JMO.

At any rate, I typed out a long response to bring things back full circle, but it really doesn't matter. This thread went down a path that I didn't anticipate.

Thanks to everyone for your opinions and for chiming in with your practices and successful tactics.

I understand why you're disappointed. The delivery of some of the posts really came off badly. Wish I'd noticed this thread early on. I'm still debating whether I should clean up this thread and let it continue as you had hoped, or leave it and close it all together. I'll have to think about it some more.

 

[january noir]

I have been musing about the posts here and everyone is right!

Most people when they are young have nicer hair. I even had thick, long hair! I wish I had some pics lying around to prove it...

You're fresh, young and your body has not aged and you have not been exposed to the environment (pollution, toxins in the water, preservatives in food, etc.) so everything pretty much works "right." In most cases your parents didn't manipulate, perm, straighten, dye, lye, fry your hair your hair excessively! That happens as we grow up. Most of us want to "improve" ourselves as we grow up and that includes doing more "things" to our hair, hence more manipulation. Little do we know that sometimes, less is more. Also water (moisture) becomes key as we age.

But, as your body ages, everything else does (including exposure to the environment); rate of hair and nail growth, health, etc. become compromised. Some people have genetics that dictate hair quality and in some, genetics play no part in how your hair looks. For example, women who acquire "Male Pattern Baldness." It's nature's randomness that makes the world go around! All said, you have to find what works for you.

But remember, as you age, nothing is the same... Take it from me. I'll be 50 in a couple of months. Exercise, healthy diet, a good sense of humor about all things matter the most.

Happy Hair Growing Ladies!

 

[firecracker]

I agree the tone is STANK, but it doesn't matter to me what anyone else thinks about my hair or my lack of regimine. You got people putting funky smelling mtg on they scalp and walkin around smelling up the place, lol. My regimine changes ALL the time, b/c that's what works for my hair..and obviously I am doing something right..stankin scalp and all!

Yeah gurl you got a bangin head of hair. "Give to me baby" give me that stuff that funk that sweet that funky stuff in my best Rick James voice

 

[firecracker]

Thanks Breezy. I don't take it personally, but I do take it as this is not a great environment to share things that don't fit that status quo. I've seen things move past argree/disagree to over the top all too often on the boards and I have only been a member for a year. Because I'd like to be treated as I treat others (in real life AND on LHCF), I'll stick to not starting new threads in the Hair Care Tips section. I'll stick to my resolve above. Thanks so much for your post.

BTW, you have absolutely gorgeous kids!

Please don't stop posting or starting threads cuz plenty folk here me included don't fit the status quo and damn sho ain't nowheres near perfect so do you. Some folk hair don't stink but their attitude damn sure does . Damn you would think I would stop lookin in the mirror when I typed that last line uh?