Did you feel any pressure to get married?

Did you feel the pressure?

  • Yes

    Votes: 42 50.6%

  • No

    Votes: 41 49.4%
  • Total voters
    83
Theo

Theo

New Member
Did any of you feel any pressure to get married? I'm just asking cuz I'm just leaving college and my friends are popping up with these engagements/ randomly serious relationships all over the place.

Now, if these couple had been together since freshman yr I could understand, but some of these couples are kinda... new. And rushed. I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt but when I talked to some of my male friends who were actually in these relationships, they told me that they felt "trapped" and "pressured" by the females and then the females told me they felt pressured by society to be in a committed, long-term relationship by the time they graduate. :perplexed

So did you feel any pressure to get married and did that influence the relationship that led to your marriage? I'm not talking about a desire to get married, but PRESSURE. Cuz looking at all these serious relationships around me, I'm starting to feel the pressure, but I don't wanna get married till I'm like 25+ and no one can make me! I LIKE being single! :drunk:
 
Well I just recently got engaged to my college sweetheart of 6 years so I wasn't pressured on his side. But I do feel the pressure from other chicks who were with their boos for a shorter period of time and are married already. I felt the pressure cause I'm like, dang, I'm a ride or die gf, what is wrong with me and why didn't I get a ring and they got to get one...*whine & moan*

Then when I forgot about it all, I get the ring...:lachen:. I suggest that you just do you. You are going to go through the good and bad with your boo...not them. And likewise.
 
freelove said:
Did any of you feel any pressure to get married? I'm just asking cuz I'm just leaving college and my friends are popping up with these engagements/ randomly serious relationships all over the place.

Now, if these couple had been together since freshman yr I could understand, but some of these couples are kinda... new. And rushed. I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt but when I talked to some of my male friends who were actually in these relationships, they told me that they felt "trapped" and "pressured" by the females and then the females told me they felt pressured by society to be in a committed, long-term relationship by the time they graduate. :perplexed

So did you feel any pressure to get married and did that influence the relationship that led to your marriage? I'm not talking about a desire to get married, but PRESSURE. Cuz looking at all these serious relationships around me, I'm starting to feel the pressure, but I don't wanna get married till I'm like 25+ and no one can make me! I LIKE being single! :drunk:
Click to expand...


:lachen:

Where do you live? Don't say the south.

To answer the question, no never.
 
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freelove said:
the females told me they felt pressured by society to be in a committed, long-term relationship by the time they graduate. :perplexed
Click to expand...

I never felt this kind of pressure. Most of my colleagues were pretty career-focused. I do think college is a great place to meet someone and I kind of regret not realizing it at the time.
 
Not at all. One of my friends was driving me crazy recently, talking about she needs to start a relationship soon so she won't get married and have kids too late. And I was sitting there like :ohwell: I'm not even worried about that. I'm just focused on graduating, traveling, and getting into grad school.

I think she was just stressed about her MCAT and med school though. Thankfully, she's calmed down with all the marriage talk. I hated the convo and just thinking about it ruined my mood.
 
I couldn't even imagine getting married until I was 29 or so. I felt pressured from my mom. Once I hit 30 she was like "you know you did need a husband to have a baby!" I would say can you give me a chance to find a husband first. As if I would never get married because I was over the hill. Other than that I didn't feel any pressure to get married. But I lived on the west coast. I recently moved to the south (got married and relocated). I've noticed that people get married down her REALLY young (at least young to me).
 
I felt a little pressured when FH and I had been together for 2-3 years and all these couples who got together well after us were getting married left and right.
 
Not even a little bit. By the time I actually found the man I'd marry, I'd already jumped off the "I'll never find a husband" bandwagon and wasn't thinking too much about getting married.
 
Now that I'm preggers. Yesssssssssssss from both sides of the family. I'm not feeling marriage. My SO brought it up last night again and my face just went :ohwell:. Earlier this year I was talking about deadlines and cut off dates if he doesn't propose by September because I do everything like I'm his darn wife anyway. Now I'm like :nono: I don't know what's wrong with me.
 
Not really.

I mean, sometimes it's hard to watch everyone around me get married, have babies, etc., but what can I do? I can't pull a good man out of thin air.

Fortunately, I have a mom who stays out of my business. None of that "so when you gonna get married and give me some grandbabies" crap from her.

She will hint every so often about where she saw some cute guys though. But I don't know if I trust her version of "cute". :rolleyes:

ETA: Sorry, misread the title- thought it said "do you"
 
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No.

Getting married is not a priority, at least not for me. I woud like to get married before I get to old, but if it doesn't happens I won't be too sad.
 
Some people are still tryin to throw that foolishness of SO and I, but know where like it used to be, i shut it down really quickly...but at this point SO and dont really get it any more, they call us Oprah and Stedman...:grin:
 
Hmm...I only feel pressured because I want kids (after marriage) and I just turned 26 and I'm the only hope of my parents having grandchildren. My parents are 65 and 61.
I've wasted 7 years with a man who has not proposed so I guess I'm going to have to ditch him very soon and start all over again...yes, that how much marriage means to me.
 
The same thing happened when I graduated college, tons of couples were newly engaged or getting married. I have a guy friend that is getting married in July and he feels pressured b/c his fiance just graduated from Grad school and he said she wants to get married and that no black woman that has that much going for her is going to stay in a boy/girl friend relationship that long. I was like WOW! and he also said "her family kept asking when?" :rolleyes:
 
Talk about pressure, just wait till you're 30+, then you get it from everywhere. My parents are starting to pressure me because they really like this new guy I'm seeing. I care about him too, but I want to marry someone because I'm madly in love and not because I feel like I'm running out of time.
 
honeycomb719 said:
I feel a little pressure now that Im pregnant:ohwell:
Click to expand...


I can relate to you. I was not given an option in the matter, as crazy as it sounds:nono::perplexed. married for 8 years. I do feel that I never had a fair go with life, if this makes any sense, often times I feel cheated in some way:sad:.
 
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No. I mean I'd like to get married, but like Mzlady said I can't make a good man fall from the sky. After i graduated alot of ppl got married or had kids, but that's what's right for them, doesn't mean i have to do that. Right now i'm just enjoying what I have, stability.
 
from my peers and friends? not at all.

if i allowed myself to, i would feel pressured from my mum. she wants me to get married at 24 (i'm 20) talks about my wedding jewellery, where i will have the wedding, colours to be worn at my wedding, who is invited :blah:.

sadly, i've reached the point where i do not want to talk to her about my own vision for my future wedding/marriage because she'd object to things and is controlling. i understand she's excited but it can get annoying :ohwell:.

she has been this way since i was about 17/18 years old.
 
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I felt very pressured by my bible-thumping mother in law. No sooner than a week after he proposed she was harrrassing us to set a date.
 
I had a lot of pressure to not get married. I settled down young and I had many people in my life questioning my choice and telling me that I should wait becasue they though we were ill-suited to each other (mainly culturally.)

DH probably had even more pressure becasue his family wasn't. feeling. me. at. all!!

thankfully we didn't listen.
 
I knew several couples that got married shortly after finishing undergrad. Years later some are still together and some are....not. My FH and I have been together for 5 yrs and had a couple of friends that met, married, and had children all while we were dating. His brother has consistently called me SIL since our first meeting. There were some times I thought about it but we both were focused on grad school & careers that I can't say I let the "pressure" get to me too bad.
Wait until you are around 30. Everytime I open my mailbox there are wedding invites. Its like the 2nd wave of people wanting to get married (myself included).
 
i'm 24 and i do feel the pressure. This is why I don't introduce guys i'm dating to my family at all, cause they always assume it's more serious than it really is. I wanna get married when I'm around 28-30.
 
I was engaged once and it took me 4 years to find out he is not the one. The first 2 years wonderful and the last 2 years pure Hell! So, We had to break up 7-5-08. I am meant to be married so I will give my self 2 more years marriage then baby! It is TIME! Just the right man thats all!
 
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