Definitely Feeling Discouraged

[Gr8ness83]

I took out my loc extensions and I am soooooo disappointed with my hair.
#1) The texture is not what it used to be before I took birth control a few years ago. It is a tighter curl in the back and I have no clue how to deal with that hair since I've never had it before.

#2) I usually always have my hair in some sort of PS and it seems that it has not helped. I had AMAZING growth last year around this time but now it seems like my hair has hit terminal length because there seems to be NO CHANGE in the length. My nape has FINALLY filled in and I have gotten some length there but I don't know where any of the rest of it has gone!

I see the growth from my scalp and my ends are healthy and have been in a PS for several months. I do an Aphogee protein treatment every 6-8 weeks,DC, I oil my scalp, do scalp massages, moisturize, take my vitamins and drink a ton of water but I do NOT see 6" of growth like I have every other year at a minimum.

3.) I have gained at LEAST 30 lbs since last year and it shows in my face so I look super ugly with my short natural hair. I think I am going to put in crochet braids tomorrow and try to forget this tragedy that has just occurred. smh

I need to get back in the gym. Maybe it was the exercising that had my hair growing like crazy last year. I just LITERALLY don't have the time. (I am not even supposed to be on here now, I have a paper to write for one of my classes but I was so irritated about my hair that I had to vent. I am really feeling discouraged. This sucks because I just had a dream of my hair reaching my behind a few weeks ago. It's like God was teasing me.

 

[ravenhairedcharm]

I'm sorry you feel that way

I think it's normal to feel frustrated about your hair from time to time, especially when you have a goal you're trying to get to. I've been there before.

I think you just have to stay focused on your goal, and what you want the end result to be. I see your dream as a confirmation of that. Obviously your hair is growing and that's a good thing.

Whenever I get like that and don't want to think about my hair, I put it into a low maintenance style like box braids for a couple of months. I've never had loc extensions before, is that suppose to protect your hair? Did you care for them properly? That's the easiest way for a protective style to go wrong IMO.

Maybe you just need to give your hair a break and let it breathe for month or so...back-to-back protective styling with extensions can cause damage for some. I'm sure someone else will be able to give advice on your BC and hair texture issues, as I can't really help there. Hang in there, and don't do anything crazy lol

 

[almond eyes]

I took out my loc extensions and I am soooooo disappointed with my hair.
#1) The texture is not what it used to be before I took birth control a few years ago. It is a tighter curl in the back and I have no clue how to deal with that hair since I've never had it before.

#2) I usually always have my hair in some sort of PS and it seems that it has not helped. I had AMAZING growth last year around this time but now it seems like my hair has hit terminal length because there seems to be NO CHANGE in the length. My nape has FINALLY filled in and I have gotten some length there but I don't know where any of the rest of it has gone!

I see the growth from my scalp and my ends are healthy and have been in a PS for several months. I do an Aphogee protein treatment every 6-8 weeks,DC, I oil my scalp, do scalp massages, moisturize, take my vitamins and drink a ton of water but I do NOT see 6" of growth like I have every other year at a minimum.

3.) I have gained at LEAST 30 lbs since last year and it shows in my face so I look super ugly with my short natural hair. I think I am going to put in crochet braids tomorrow and try to forget this tragedy that has just occurred. smh

I need to get back in the gym. Maybe it was the exercising that had my hair growing like crazy last year. I just LITERALLY don't have the time. (I am not even supposed to be on here now, I have a paper to write for one of my classes but I was so irritated about my hair that I had to vent. I am really feeling discouraged. This sucks because I just had a dream of my hair reaching my behind a few weeks ago. It's like God was teasing me.

I think you need to just regroup. I think you need to focus on your paper for the moment which is more important. I think we as black women can sometimes have this vision that when our hair gets longer life will just be so great when the greatness of your life is not in your appearance but in the totality of who you are as a person.

For many afro haired women, hair extensions while a protective style can be very damaging in the long run even if it seems to give hair a break and also looks hella fly. Give the hair extensions a break and work with your natural hair. While it might seem a bit different you will get used to it. If you have already good hair care practices then your hair will not stay the same length for long and within a year or two you hair will be in a different place.

I know we think that short natural hair is not a good look but often it's what we have been conditioned to believe. You can have short hair and still look good.

I shaved my hair in May and I thought it would look too boyish on me but everyone told me it was my best hair style ever. Now my hair is three to almost five inches (depending on the area of my hair). I think you have to make the best of your looks and focus on hair health. I stopped wearing hair extensions because I found them to be too damaging, too drying and too much of a crutch.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[prettybyrd]

I'm sorry that you are having these troubles.

What stands out for me in your post is that you gained 30 pounds in one year. Is it possible that you can come off or change your BC method if it is the cause of your weight gain? Have you spoken with your doctor about this?

 

[InBloom]

Nevermind.............

 

[Gr8ness83]

Thank you ladies for your words of encouragement. I need it.

I'm sorry you feel that way

I think it's normal to feel frustrated about your hair from time to time, especially when you have a goal you're trying to get to. I've been there before.

I think you just have to stay focused on your goal, and what you want the end result to be. I see your dream as a confirmation of that. Obviously your hair is growing and that's a good thing.

Whenever I get like that and don't want to think about my hair, I put it into a low maintenance style like box braids for a couple of months. I've never had loc extensions before, is that suppose to protect your hair? Did you care for them properly? That's the easiest way for a protective style to go wrong IMO.

Maybe you just need to give your hair a break and let it breathe for month or so...back-to-back protective styling with extensions can cause damage for some. I'm sure someone else will be able to give advice on your BC and hair texture issues, as I can't really help there. Hang in there, and don't do anything crazy lol

Yes i have seen the damages that continuous PS can do. I take very good care of my hair though and since I normally do my own PS, there is very little tension on any braids and whatnot. I hardly had any shed hairs when I took my loc extensions out.

I think you need to just regroup. I think you need to focus on your paper for the moment which is more important. I think we as black women can sometimes have this vision that when our hair gets longer life will just be so great when the greatness of your life is not in your appearance but in the totality of who you are as a person.

For many afro haired women, hair extensions while a protective style can be very damaging in the long run even if it seems to give hair a break and also looks hella fly. Give the hair extensions a break and work with your natural hair. While it might seem a bit different you will get used to it. If you have already good hair care practices then your hair will not stay the same length for long and within a year or two you hair will be in a different place.

I know we think that short natural hair is not a good look but often it's what we have been conditioned to believe. You can have short hair and still look good.

I shaved my hair in May and I thought it would look too boyish on me but everyone told me it was my best hair style ever. Now my hair is three to almost five inches (depending on the area of my hair). I think you have to make the best of your looks and focus on hair health. I stopped wearing hair extensions because I found them to be too damaging, too drying and too much of a crutch.

Best,
Almond Eyes

Thank you for your encouraging words. I know women say that they can't do short hair but I REALLY cant do short hair. My face is too fat and my chin is too big (fat) Maybe when I lose this weight. I wore my hair out in October/November and I would only put in a pony for work but it is so tedious and I don't like pulling my hair back like that. I love my natural hair, I can even accept this length if it looked right on me but I seriously feel like a troll.

I'm sorry that you are having these troubles.

What stands out for me in your post is that you gained 30 pounds in one year. Is it possible that you can come off or change your BC method if it is the cause of your weight gain? Have you spoken with your doctor about this?

The 30 lb weight gain is from Oct-now. My mom was living down here for a year and she left in October. Since it is just my son and myself and I work extremely long hours (0515-1830), I do not have time to go to the gym like I used to when my mom was here. She would help cook and get my son started on his homework. Now that she is gone, it is all me and between work, school, trying to keep up with my sons school and managing my house, I haven't been able to get to the gym but a handful of times since she left. I was in the gym ALL. THE. TIME. when she was here. I have a non hormonal IUD so BC is not the issue anymore. It definitely was the issue a few years ago. That's what thinned my hair and changed the curl pattern.


I am going to GHE tonight and forget about this nonsense on my head.

 

[ag00]

Stop taking birth control because there are dangerous chemicals in it. If you want your hair to grow, it's time to go back to basics and simply use grease and water. That's all I have been using for months now and my hair has grown like a weed several inches long and is in the healthiest state it has EVER been. All you have to do is dab a quarter sized amount, dilute with a little water, and apply to your hair and scalp every 2 or 3 days. All those other products are jokes and gimmicks.

 

[Gr8ness83]

Stop taking birth control because there are dangerous chemicals in it. If you want your hair to grow, it's time to go back to basics and simply use grease and water. That's all I have been using for months now and my hair has grown like a weed several inches long and is in the healthiest state it has EVER been. All you have to do is dab a quarter sized amount, dilute with a little water, and apply to your hair and scalp every 2 or 3 days. All those other products are jokes and gimmicks.

Thank you for your input.
This is a classic example of "what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander". Any type of grease rips my hair out. They are too heavy, I have to stick with oils. Everything I am doing for my hair now, I did last year and got TREMENDOUS growth so Idk. I looked at my hair again this morning and PERHAPS I was being a bit dramatic about the state of my hair. It is much fuller now, the nape is longer and I feel it in my neck now. I think that the nape has so much cathching up to do that I perceive it us not making progress. I did a WNG today and I actually like it. I think AlmondEyes hiT the nail on the head, I have used PS as a crutch and now that I see my real hair and it is so far from my goal and what my PS has portrayed, I feel bald. I did just take my extensions out yesterday so maybe .y hair needed a day to "fill out". Like a fresh relaxed.... It's always flat but but a few days out, it has body and looks better.

 

[almond eyes]

That's what happens the hair extensions keep you from seeing the condition of your real hair and it strips your hair down. So when many women take out their hair extensions they are often shocked that their hair looks very dry, lack luster and breaking in some places. Many women report that when they take the braids out their hair is so thick and plenty but then after they detangle and wash it, they see that their hair has reduced.

I think you need to start in baby steps. You can wig it and try to work on adopting better hair care practices but make sure you alternate your wig wearing days and that you take off your wig at night. Do not wear a nylon cap over it and keep up with your DC and protein treatments and trims. But even with wigging you need to be ware that if you rely on wigs too much your scalp may not breathe and you are back again to using a crutch again. And do some big plaits and twists under that wig.

I think when you replace the voice in your hair with something more positive you will not care if others find that short hair makes your face look fat. There are so many excuses we can tell ourselves when there are no short cuts to healthy natural hair, "my hair is too nappy", "I don't have a good hair texture", "I am not pretty enough" My face is too heavy, "My forehead is too big." I am sure you are a beautiful woman who just need to re group.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Honey Bee]

Stop taking birth control because there are dangerous chemicals in it. If you want your hair to grow, it's time to go back to basics and simply use grease and water. That's all I have been using for months now and my hair has grown like a weed several inches long and is in the healthiest state it has EVER been. All you have to do is dab a quarter sized amount, dilute with a little water, and apply to your hair and scalp every 2 or 3 days. All those other products are jokes and gimmicks.

Ain't that what bw always did?

You don't use conditioner?