Dear Sweet Angels

hopeful

hopeful

Well-Known Member
I know a lot of young women are suffering. I know a lot of you are lonely and want a companion. I know a lot of you have been told and shown lie after lie. Some of you have been abused by every man you've known, from fathers, to uncles, cousins. I know you wonder why no one protected you and kept you safe. I know some of you have mothers who never told you that you were precious and beautiful. I know some of your mothers knew bad things were happening to you and turned away. How can a mother do that? I don't know.

So many of you are settling for so so little from men. If he just looks at you, you swoon. If he texts you once a week, you go weak in the knees. I you believe that you are worthless and that all you have to offer a guy is the cookie. If you believe that all men are dogs anyway so why even wait for a good one. If you believe no one will ever really love you...I want you to know that it is all a lie. Please believe that you are worthy and precious and beautiful and deserve the life you dream about. I don't know many of you but I want you to know that my heart aches when you settle. Whether you have a man or not you must believe that you are still perfect just the way you are. Do not allow any man or woman to define your worth. You are your keeper.

Please take the time to discover the truth. Please believe the truth and do everything you can to lift yourself up out of the cycle of bad men, disappointment, suffering and hurt. Lift your sights higher. Pray with all your might that God will help you erase the lies. Pray for the truth. The truth is that no matter what has happened in the past, no matter what you have done in the past, you can always start anew. When you wake up tomorrow look in the mirror and say, "Hello beautiful, you have a wonderful day, you deserve it." If someone tries to holla be discerning. Think to yourself, "Is this the kind of man who will get how precious I am?" If not, smile and keep it moving.

Hold your head up high, fill your mind with good reading, treat your body like a temple, surround yourself with good people. Turn away from the bad, turn toward the light, and begin anew.
 
Ladies, you're welcome and thank you. Some of the stories on here really stick with me. One in particular had me tearful this afternoon.
 
Bumping.

The enemy is always trying to make you feel isolated, to make you feel like you are the only person going though this! You are not alone. And you won't be the only one that will break free from this!
 
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Thank you Hopeful. That was a wonderful post. :yep: Some of the things I have read lately in this forum are very disheartening. :sad: It's great to get a reminder that things don't have to be that way.
 
That was beautiful. I know you said young ladies, but it also applies to older women as well.

Thank you for that post.
 
I needed that. Thank you.

I love this forum for this reason...(besides getting my hair swangin on '09!):look:

I feel as if you were talking to me in a lot of what you wrote. My mother and I were never close. Now we talk, but it is more of a homegirl kind of a way...on mother's day I'm always sad, because I want to buy one of those beautiful cards, but they do not apply to her.

I always get the one that says "No Matter What You Will Always be My Mother". Anything else would be a lie.

When it comes to matters of the heart I am fragile. You are right. When I get one text or call, I start planning for marriage:nono: When he misses my call and does not call right back I start thinking the worse.

It's not a good feeling. But I just do not know how to change. I know that my mindset is messed up, but I cannot get the negative thoughts out of my mind. I always end up scaring men away, because I give too much of myself too soon...

Oh, just some thoughts for myself as I go to bed...this needs to stay bumped to the top. I know there are a lot of women who need to hear that they are worth more than what they have been accepting.
 
After this beautiful post. I am taking a break from dating to work on myself. I am like some type of magnet for abusive men.
 
chokolate miss said:
I needed that. Thank you.

I love this forum for this reason...(besides getting my hair swangin on '09!):look:

I feel as if you were talking to me in a lot of what you wrote. My mother and I were never close. Now we talk, but it is more of a homegirl kind of a way...on mother's day I'm always sad, because I want to buy one of those beautiful cards, but they do not apply to her.

I always get the one that says "No Matter What You Will Always be My Mother". Anything else would be a lie.

When it comes to matters of the heart I am fragile. You are right. When I get one text or call, I start planning for marriage:nono: When he misses my call and does not call right back I start thinking the worse.

It's not a good feeling. But I just do not know how to change. I know that my mindset is messed up, but I cannot get the negative thoughts out of my mind. I always end up scaring men away, because I give too much of myself too soon...

Oh, just some thoughts for myself as I go to bed...this needs to stay bumped to the top. I know there are a lot of women who need to hear that they are worth more than what they have been accepting.
Click to expand...

chokolate miss :huggle: Now I am in tears. I felt so compelled to post this thread, now I know why. Just know that it takes baby steps. When I was in my 20's I stayed in the self-help book section. In my 30's I got counseling. I am much stronger and happier, confident most days, but still, in my 40's, married nearly 22 years with 2 kids, and some days I still have those doubts and fears.

Ask God for his Mercy and Grace regarding your hurt. Ask Him to help you heal. Journal. Seek counseling. If the first counselor is not helping you, move on and find one who can. You are a sweet, beautiful princess, don't give all of yourself away to anyone. Protect yourself and move very slowly with everyone. You are your own precious jewel, keep yourself safe, love yourself, be patient with yourself. The higher your vision is for yourself, the higher others' view of you will be.

I am so happy you posted here, opened up and shared. You are lovable and sweet. I want you to go buy yourself a pretty notebook and start writing about the kind of woman you aspire to be and the life you want to live. I think that will be a nice start:yep:. God Bless You.

brickhouse said:
After this beautiful post. I am taking a break from dating to work on myself. I am like some type of magnet for abusive men.
Click to expand...

I think you will love taking a break. You want to be a magnet for loving, respectful men. You should start reading book after book that helps you figure out how to break the cycle. You are too precious and too beautiful to let anyone abuse you. Imagine if I gave you a beautiful diamond, would you sit it out on the street, would you even sit it out in your kitchen or living room? Would you let just anyone touch and hold it? Protect yourself like you would a flawless diamond. Men must earn your trust, don't be fearful, be careful and be cautious. Thank you so much for posting.

Everything is going to be okay for both of you.
 
chokolate miss said:
I needed that. Thank you.

I love this forum for this reason...(besides getting my hair swangin on '09!):look:

I feel as if you were talking to me in a lot of what you wrote. My mother and I were never close. Now we talk, but it is more of a homegirl kind of a way...on mother's day I'm always sad, because I want to buy one of those beautiful cards, but they do not apply to her.

I always get the one that says "No Matter What You Will Always be My Mother". Anything else would be a lie.

When it comes to matters of the heart I am fragile. You are right. When I get one text or call, I start planning for marriage:nono: When he misses my call and does not call right back I start thinking the worse.

It's not a good feeling. But I just do not know how to change. I know that my mindset is messed up, but I cannot get the negative thoughts out of my mind. I always end up scaring men away, because I give too much of myself too soon...

Oh, just some thoughts for myself as I go to bed...this needs to stay bumped to the top. I know there are a lot of women who need to hear that they are worth more than what they have been accepting.
Click to expand...

I completely understand where you're coming from with the bolded. My mother and I have never been close. We're still not close. She's a single mother of two (my brother and I) who always struggled to provide for us and herself. I'll never forget what she's done for us & I pray for her every night, but we'll never be close. I don't even feel right calling her "Mom." After I finish speaking with my brother (he's 15) on the phone, I tell him to put "her" on. One day I was speaking with her and she said, "you don't care anything about me." I couldn't even respond. I certainly wasn't going to say anything to the contrary.

My major issue is that she's verbally abusive & she doesn't see anything wrong with it. She's even been verbally abusive to my husband & has become upset when he's called her on it.

Well, enough of my rambling. It's just that, unfortunately, I can really relate to that part of your post.
 
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