dating timeline

Glamorous_chic

Glamorous_chic

Well-Known Member
Hi ladies. Lets say you've been seeing someone for about 3 months, but you've only been out once. you have great conversations all the time that last for hours. (i know according to the rules you shouldnt talk on the phone for hours). but he doesn't ask you out. would you automatically think "he's just not into you"? at what point do you give him the axe? my friends tell me i'm being impatient. and they're right, i like to spend time with the man i'm "dating" what time line do you have if a man hasnt asked you out yet, that you cut him off?? (I hope i worded this right lol)
 
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Glamorous_chic said:
Hi ladies. Lets say you've been seeing someone for about 3 months, but you've only been out once. you have great conversations all the time that last for hours. (i know according to the rules you shouldnt talk on the phone for hours). but he doesn't ask you out. would you automatically think "he's just not into you"? at what point do you give him the axe? my friends tell me i'm being impatient. and they're right, i like to spend time with the man i'm "dating" what time line do you have if a man hasnt asked you out yet, that you cut him off?? (I hope i worded this right lol)
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How can you be "seeing" someone if you've only been out once?

What kind of "dating is that?

If I meet you, you better ask me out in a week (with the exception of circumstances in which he's explained already or are obvious -- like traveling, being long-distance, etc.)... otherwise, lose my number.

All that time you're on the phone with me could be spent in my presence.
 
not married no girlfriend either. i meant to put "seeing". by all accounts he seems to be interested atleast via phone. i asked one my male friends and he told me i should ask him out. i told him he was setting me up for failure. lolol. he lives not too far from me and no long distance travel. honestly i can only think he's not interested. but i dont get the vibe when we're on the phone. its really odd.
 
you've been talking for 3 months
you don't live that far from each other
you've already been out with him once

...based on these facts I would think if the guy had a great time to the point where he wants to see u again, i would think he would.
 
Well, the best senerio would have been him asking for the second date at the end of the first date.
If you believe there is still some interest on his part and you would be willing to go out again if he asked, then I suggest you start being unavailable and send him straight to voicemail.
One of two things will happen. He will stop calling or he will leave a message asking when's the next time he can see you.
 
Glamorous_chic said:
Hi ladies. Lets say you've been seeing someone for about 3 months, but you've only been out once. you have great conversations all the time that last for hours. (i know according to the rules you shouldnt talk on the phone for hours). but he doesn't ask you out. would you automatically think "he's just not into you"? at what point do you give him the axe? my friends tell me i'm being impatient. and they're right, i like to spend time with the man i'm "dating" what time line do you have if a man hasnt asked you out yet, that you cut him off?? (I hope i worded this right lol)
Click to expand...

All the evidence points to --> He is not into you. :nono: Stop making excuses for him and move on!! He is wasting your time. Go find a man who wants to spend time with you!! It's not wrong for you to want to SPEND TIME with a man you are DATING!
 
Taliah said:
Well, the best senerio would have been him asking for the second date at the end of the first date.
If you believe there is still some interest on his part and you would be willing to go out again if he asked, then I suggest you start being unavailable and send him straight to voicemail.
One of two things will happen. He will stop calling or he will leave a message asking when's the next time he can see you.
Click to expand...

This isn't a bad idea actually. While I'm at the point where I'd just be like, forget him, if the OP isn't ready for that yet, this would be a good action to take next.

But the man DEFINITELY needs to ask her out on a date.
 
Most of the time guys like this have a girlfriend or a wife. They like the thrill of courting but aren't going to take things to the next level.
 
Bunny77 said:
This isn't a bad idea actually. While I'm at the point where I'd just be like, forget him, if the OP isn't ready for that yet, this would be a good action to take next.

But the man DEFINITELY needs to ask her out on a date.
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I agree B. I like to be objective because I know it can be difficult when you'd prefer if the situation was working out and you believe he's worth being guided in the right direction. It's better than having those hour convos when she really wants to be with him.
Besides I like the idea of going slow. Giving a little and takin'it right back. Then that makes the play equal in a way.
I want him to come around. Then she can feel like she accomplished her goal instead of turing him loose. Nothing like learning how to get what you want.
 
thanks everyone for your responses. he's a friend of a friend, so i know he's not married nor has a girlfriend. but, the thought has crossed my mind that he was either involved or not interested. idk. thanks again though.
 
He obviously likes talking to you on the phone, that's a positive. But, he doesn't necessarily want to date you. What seems even more odd to me (especially since he is a man) is that he's not making attempts to have sex w/ you. By no means do I equate interest with sex, but usually a man who doesn't want to have a relationship with a woman is trying to atleast get her to sleep with him! Have you ever thought maybe he's secretly gay? Ask your friend some more probing questions, find out about his past relationships. Something in the milk just ain't right. I wouln't cut him off per say, he may end up to be a great friend.
 
GC.:nono: The man is not that into you. Don't fall for the talking on the phone Okeydoke...date other people..he has mind control and floating dreams your way but has no time for face to face...please put your antenna all the way up..you need the touch and he is not about that. Good luck Babydoll...you can do better if you want. Took me a long time to realize I was content with less than....you'll regret it later..trust me. Understand when people say he is not that into you that it does not make you less worthy..he has the deficit..not YOU!!
 
Bunny77 said:
Pretty much.

And PLEASE don't ask him out... just move on.
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Or ask him "why". We waste so much time no on unavailable men:yep:

Also,playing devils advocate, some men aren't sure if we're sending them the "friend" line or we want to move forward.I'm not sure if you're doing either but I've heard this from men before. But then again-some dudes won't go away when you give them a mere wink :lol: Yes OP move on.
 
strenght81 said:
He obviously likes talking to you on the phone, that's a positive. But, he doesn't necessarily want to date you. What seems even more odd to me (especially since he is a man) is that he's not making attempts to have sex w/ you. By no means do I equate interest with sex, but usually a man who doesn't want to have a relationship with a woman is trying to atleast get her to sleep with him! Have you ever thought maybe he's secretly gay? Ask your friend some more probing questions, find out about his past relationships. Something in the milk just ain't right. I wouln't cut him off per say, he may end up to be a great friend.
Click to expand...

hahaha. i really didnt even think about that. i literally laughed out loud. i think one of the refreshing things about him was that he did not have that I'm trying to get the goodies vibe. the subject has never even come up, which was very refreshing. i don't think he's gay either. he's a nerdy bookworm type, which is why i thought for the longest maybe he was shy. but that is just an excuse, also.

i'm not sitting on my hands waiting on him. i'm dating other people as well. its just i connect better with him, and actually have enjoyable conversations with him. the other guys i've dated either can't hold decent conversation or showed they were all about sex and nothing more. i just wanted to get other peoples perspectives on the situation, b/c my friends just tell me to be patient, be proactive in what i want and go after it which i know is a crock of bs. :yep: i guess another one bites the dust. :rolleyes: i think i give off this friend vibe, where they see me as the homegirl. :wallbash:
 
Why write him off so quickly...
I know I'mma be in the minority on this one but me and my gurls are considered pretty aggressive when it comes to flirting/dating which is out the norm...anywho...I can see where OP is stuck but with me and my future *I had a little of that chicago aggressiveness left in me because we met right after I had moved to Dallas* but I didn't wait for him to ask me on a second date I asked him and I'll neva forget cause I took his @$$ to a $70.00 per plate seafood/steakhouse... I do what I want per se when it comes to pursuing/dating. There are no real rules about it, if you like him go for it what can he say no, glamorous I don't like you like that...then great its nothing else to pursue unless you want to remain friends.

1st people don't read minds and I don't make it a habit to play the phone/text game to get you to ask me out. If we had a great time...wonderful and if you paid for the first date I will come out of my pocket for the second, nothing more, neva had to. Its no biggie there. It was the reason I was taken out on 5th, 6th and more dates was because I showed that I was a different kind of female, I tend to stand out anyhow. I have never been on less than 4 dates eva...from the time I started which was like 17. A girlfriend of mine in Chicago taught me the art of pursue and I fell in love with it because I use it to my advantage. I don't get caught up in that ALL men will let it be known that they like you because its simply not true *sometimes I forget and be rolling with it too*. No matter how we think that its supposed to be :perplexed: all men simply don't know how to date. My future claimed he was shy the day we met and had I not went to him he neva would've approached me*I was pretty d@mn fly that day*he said I looked kinda stuck up af first:ohwell: but, I saw what I wanted and went for it and its mine still to this day.

Like my Granny say I have a little gumption about myself...All my exes were pursued by me...*now that I think about it, hell I wasn't the only one out there who wanted a man* and still good friends with all of them...but thats why when I was dating the amount of times I would go out on dates would surpass those of other girlfriends who were in the dating game as well....I say call have a chit-chat and straight up ask him "Where is this going, I don't want to waste my time?", since ya'll talk on the phone anyway it won't hurt. I should be simple because the answer he give is either gonna help you make a decision about him, enlighten you about your ways/his relationship status or you can just throw it away. Good luck :drunk:
 
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