Dating Older Men...

[ScandalousBeauty]

Like 8-10 years older than you?? I am talking to someone who is 34, 12 years older than I am. But the fact that he is GROWN, not going through dumb stuff that dudes my age are doing makes him very attractive. He doesn't live at home with the parents, he is a MAN. Half of my friends say he's too old, half say the age difference may be good for me, and my mommy is terrified.

What has your experience been in this type of situation??

 

[lexi08]

I have dated a few men up to 10 years older. I did not have any problems. It really depends on the man and his character how he treats you etc. Would you rather date a younger loser?

 

[A856]

i've always been attracted to guys older than me at the minimun 7yrs to as much as 20yrs (i know i know ).
I say do what feels good to you forget what your friends say as long as your happy.....BUT also keep in mind men are men and older ones play games too...they think that because they've been around the block a time or to....they think that because your younger you don't know any better gotta be on your toes!!!

 

[ScandalousBeauty]

Good point. Lots of my friends think he would be a great sugar daddy! I am in no way interested in his funds, he has great conversation, a laid back attitude, he is very intelligent and that is refreshing to me! I had to ask if he had a gf, just playing around, and he said he has a "friend" in NY (we live in MD), but mostly no. WTF is that supposed to mean?? Is this something that grown folks do?!?! lol..that threw me a bit!

i've always been attracted to guys older than me at the minimun 7yrs to as much as 20yrs (i know i know ).
I say do what feels good to you forget what your friends say as long as your happy.....BUT also keep in mind men are men and older ones play games too...they think that because they've been around the block a time or to....they think that because your younger you don't know any better gotta be on your toes!!!

 

[Allandra]

Like 8-10 years older than you?? I am talking to someone who is 34, 12 years older than I am. But the fact that he is GROWN, not going through dumb stuff that dudes my age are doing makes him very attractive. He doesn't live at home with the parents, he is a MAN. Half of my friends say he's too old, half say the age difference may be good for me, and my mommy is terrified.

What has your experience been in this type of situation??

I enjoy dating older guys. However, older does not mean they don't do dumb stuff. Some guys do dumb stuff no matter their age. Sad but true.

 

[locabouthair]

I enjoy dating older guys. However, older does not mean they don't do dumb stuff. Some guys do dumb stuff no matter their age. Sad but true.

So true Both my friends have dated older men that were no good

 

[ScandalousBeauty]

O goodness! I'm wondering if he really just wants some younger booty...

So true Both my friends have dated older men that were no good

 

[CoCoEspresso]

I have always had a preference for older men. I tend to hang out with older people in general, anyways. People always comment on my maturity, so I think that makes a difference. I have been seeing a guy who is 11 years older than me. When he first met me, he thought I was much older than I am, but I carried myself with maturity so that made a difference. As of right now, I have no problems with his age, but in the back of my mind I am really nervous about what my mom would think. It is still too early to tell, but I am keeping my guard up. He is way more "seasoned" than I am, and some men like the allure of younger women. They like them young, dumb and full of... So just watch and see what happens. That comment about the NY "friend" is a little odd, though.

 

[foxxymami]

I enjoy dating older guys. However, older does not mean they don't do dumb stuff. Some guys do dumb stuff no matter their age. Sad but true.

Ditto!

I like older men though. I have a puppy dog crush on this guy who's 38 (12 years older than me)

 

[locabouthair]

O goodness! I'm wondering if he really just wants some younger booty...

Some are like that but you never know. Don't write him off right way. Now the ones my friends dealt with, in all honesty, there were red flags from the beginning but my friends just chose to ignore tham and it just went downhill from there

I am a little bit more attracted to older guys, but I havent dated many.

 

[barbiesocialite]

I've always dated and associated with other individuals. If I tallied up and averaged the ages of the men and women I've dated in my life, there is probably about a 10-15 yr difference on average. when I was 18, my bf at the time was 36; the last time I dated a man was in 2005, I was 20 and he was 56 yr old politician. As a matter of fact, I've been friends with my best platonic male friend for about nine years now and he is 13 years older than me.

All in all, I value my interactions with older individuals much more than younger ppl because there is much to be learned from from them. More life experience, wisdom, accomplishments, etc... During my teenage years I used to hang out with my best guy friend and all of his mid-30s to 50s male buddies and they used to school me about women, dating, career and numerous other areas of life that my younger associates had yet to experience. Moreover, I attribute a portion of my knowledge on financial investments, professional networking and politics, as well as my above-average maturity level, to several of my relationships with older individuals.

I think success for dating older people has much to do with your own self-esteem, maturity and confidence. If you can maintain your sense of self, keep your eyes open about his intentions and carry yourself as a woman of class, intelligence and confidence AGE AINT NOTHIN BUT A NUMBER. You can command just as much respect as any older woman and demand even more respect from your partner.

Just try dating the guy, you might like it....if not, you may still learn a lot.

 

[scorpio70]

i would be leary of the 'friend' in NY comment. Does this 'friend' know about you? I think older men, younger woman pairings can work for obvious reasons. He's already established, he's more ready to settle down, you're attractive to him b/c you haven't been too badly hurt yet.

but, i have guy friends that are my age, mid to late thirties and when they date much younger women, i feel for the girl. one guy in particular doesn't have much going for him but, the facade is tight and those younger girls fall for it everytime. when you've been around the block, you can see the signs more clearly. for this particular guy, it's an ego thing. he's not interested in a relationship with an equal. wait - let me take that back. he doesn't see himself as equal to women his own age. he's not where he wants to be in his career, his finances aren't what he thinks they should be at this age and his maturity level, quite frankly, isn't there yet. but, when he dates a much younger woman, he's at least doing better than she is.

that's just another perspective to consider when dating these older men. i think women want to be equal but men want to win. LOL

 

[ScandalousBeauty]

Very well said. The oldest man I have dated was 5 years older than me, and that was HUGE for me! I felt like it was such a big issue. But now, I am realizing that this is more common than I realized, and age really may not have anything to do with it. I dunno, I guess I will wait it out. I think I have a lot to learn from him, and that is a good thing.

I've always dated and associated with other individuals. If I tallied up and averaged the ages of the men and women I've dated in my life, there is probably about a 10-15 yr difference on average. when I was 18, my bf at the time was 36; the last time I dated a man was in 2005, I was 20 and he was 56 yr old politician. As a matter of fact, I've been friends with my best platonic male friend for about nine years now and he is 13 years older than me.

All in all, I value my interactions with older individuals much more than younger ppl because there is much to be learned from from them. More life experience, wisdom, accomplishments, etc... During my teenage years I used to hang out with my best guy friend and all of his mid-30s to 50s male buddies and they used to school me about women, dating, career and numerous other areas of life that my younger associates had yet to experience. Moreover, I attribute a portion of my knowledge on financial investments, professional networking and politics, as well as my above-average maturity level, to several of my relationships with older individuals.

I think success for dating older people has much to do with your own self-esteem, maturity and confidence. If you can maintain your sense of self, keep your eyes open about his intentions and carry yourself as a woman of class, intelligence and confidence AGE AINT NOTHIN BUT A NUMBER. You can command just as much respect as any older woman and demand even more respect from your partner.

Just try dating the guy, you might like it....if not, you may still learn a lot.

 

[ScandalousBeauty]

Yeah, when he told me that on the phone LAST NIGHT, I was shocked. He was like "Erin, you got quiet. Are you still there?" So, maybe I am thinking too far into the situation. Maybe he is "dating" other women, and will continue to date other women. I was looking at the situation like he was a potential SO, not a DH or anything down the road like that. So, I guess I will inquire more about the "friend" later tonight. Apparently they used to date, and things got rocky and they never had closure. I don't want to scare him into thinking that I want him on lock, but F that. I am not going to be one of many of his options!

i would be leary of the 'friend' in NY comment. Does this 'friend' know about you? I think older men, younger woman pairings can work for obvious reasons. He's already established, he's more ready to settle down, you're attractive to him b/c you haven't been too badly hurt yet.

but, i have guy friends that are my age, mid to late thirties and when they date much younger women, i feel for the girl. one guy in particular doesn't have much going for him but, the facade is tight and those younger girls fall for it everytime. when you've been around the block, you can see the signs more clearly. for this particular guy, it's an ego thing. he's not interested in a relationship with an equal. wait - let me take that back. he doesn't see himself as equal to women his own age. he's not where he wants to be in his career, his finances aren't what he thinks they should be at this age and his maturity level, quite frankly, isn't there yet. but, when he dates a much younger woman, he's at least doing better than she is.

that's just another perspective to consider when dating these older men. i think women want to be equal but men want to win. LOL

 

[Mejayt]

I am currently dating someone 7 yrs older than me. I am 23 and he's 30. I have been involved with him on and off for the past five years. When we first started dating I was 18 and he was 24. I enjoy being with older men because most are at a stage in their lives where they are secure financially, have their own place, and are looking for more than just some booty. I have a career, my own place, and am pretty financially stable so I need a man that has the same things going on. No matter the age, it's all about how he treats you and if you are comfortable and compatible with one another.

 

[SugarBaby]

Good point. Lots of my friends think he would be a great sugar daddy! I am in no way interested in his funds, he has great conversation, a laid back attitude, he is very intelligent and that is refreshing to me! I had to ask if he had a gf, just playing around, and he said he has a "friend" in NY (we live in MD), but mostly no. WTF is that supposed to mean?? Is this something that grown folks do?!?! lol..that threw me a bit!

It means he TOLD you he is involved. So when the **** hits the fan...He can always say..."I told you I had a friend".

Take it for what its worth, you are dealing w/ a guy that enjoys your company and the company of his other friend.

It is what it is...

 

[dlewis]

I enjoy dating older guys. However, older does not mean they don't do dumb stuff. Some guys do dumb stuff no matter their age. Sad but true.

Very true. I have always dated older men and I have enjoyed it.

 

[PinkPeony]

I enjoy dating older guys. However, older does not mean they don't do dumb stuff. Some guys do dumb stuff no matter their age. Sad but true.

Very true
I tend to favor older guys over younger ones(even though DH is younger then me) but older guys still can act a fool.

 

[Cinda2503]

Good point. Lots of my friends think he would be a great sugar daddy! I am in no way interested in his funds, he has great conversation, a laid back attitude, he is very intelligent and that is refreshing to me! I had to ask if he had a gf, just playing around, and he said he has a "friend" in NY (we live in MD), but mostly no. WTF is that supposed to mean?? Is this something that grown folks do?!?! lol..that threw me a bit!

That means they have sex when they see each other.

 

[SpyCats]

That means they have sex when they see each other.

Yes, that's EXACTLY what that means.

 

[QUINN]

I enjoy dating older guys. However, older does not mean they don't do dumb stuff. Some guys do dumb stuff no matter their age. Sad but true.

Yep! I have a child with a man-child that is 12 years older than me. That makes us both stupidly blessed! LOL!

I say do you...Have fun and see where it goes. Good luck! I truly wish you the best.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Yes, Yes, My FH is 11 years Older than me. He is the Last of the Baby Boomers He looks very good for his Age

 

[drasgrl]

When I was in my 20's I had a bf who was seven years older than me. That's the oldest guy I've dated. My father was 17 years older than my mother. Sounds like you have a problem with it so don't do it if you're not comfortable with it.

 

[glamazon386]

Like 8-10 years older than you?? I am talking to someone who is 34, 12 years older than I am. But the fact that he is GROWN, not going through dumb stuff that dudes my age are doing makes him very attractive. He doesn't live at home with the parents, he is a MAN. Half of my friends say he's too old, half say the age difference may be good for me, and my mommy is terrified.

What has your experience been in this type of situation??

I date older men almost exclusively. Most 22 year olds are just not on the same page with me. Many of them follow the traditional values that I grew up on. A lot of young men, just do not have those values anymore. In my experience, older men typically know what they want and go for it. They tend to move faster. In some cases a little too fast. I was introducted to some new things and changed my outlook on some things just from dating an older man. It was usually a learning experience for me.

On the flip side I've found that there are some of them are immature for their age and are only really interested for eye candy purposes so they get the boot.

If you get along well and have things in common I say go for it. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. But if you think about it, that could happen with a man no matter what the age.

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

Here's a big secret when it comes to age...

IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT MUCH!!! (...to a certain extent)

In all circumstances, you should look at the individual and not their age. Some older men are wonderful to date. Truly good experiences. Some are very active and young at heart, but have a lot of wisdom and experiences to share. Plus, there is something comforting about being around someone who is rather settled.

And some older men have some of the most ridiculous baggage you've ever seen. And, sorry, a number of them do date younger women as an ego boost, not because they see the particular young woman as being something special.

Many younger guys are immature and focused on hot booty and not a serious relationship. But there are a lot of younger guys who are more focused and aren't looking for one night stands. They want a good woman. Additionally, there is something to be said for dating someone who is at a similar stage in life - there's a level of relation that's just not there with someone who has a "been there, done that" attitude.

However, when you consider dating an older man, age should come into play in two regards - having children and elder care. Marry someone who's a good deal older than you, and you stand the chance of having a husband who may have difficulty dealing with young children or a husband that you will have to care for due to ailing health at a time when you are still quite vivacious. Now, I wouldn't say these are dealbreakers, per se, but things to be considered nonetheless.

Personally, I think a good age range is anywhere from someone who is the same age as you up to someone who is about 7 or 8 years older than you. Once you are past 30, I think it's fine to even dip about 2 or 3 years below you as well.

If there is a sincere connection, I say go for it to see what can happen.

 

[Mena]

Here's a big secret when it comes to age...

IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT MUCH!!! (...to a certain extent)

In all circumstances, you should look at the individual and not their age. Some older men are wonderful to date. Truly good experiences. Some are very active and young at heart, but have a lot of wisdom and experiences to share. Plus, there is something comforting about being around someone who is rather settled.

And some older men have some of the most ridiculous baggage you've ever seen. And, sorry, a number of them do date younger women as an ego boost, not because they see the particular young woman as being something special.

Many younger guys are immature and focused on hot booty and not a serious relationship. But there are a lot of younger guys who are more focused and aren't looking for one night stands. They want a good woman. Additionally, there is something to be said for dating someone who is at a similar stage in life - there's a level of relation that's just not there with someone who has a "been there, done that" attitude.

However, when you consider dating an older man, age should come into play in two regards - having children and elder care. Marry someone who's a good deal older than you, and you stand the chance of having a husband who may have difficulty dealing with young children or a husband that you will have to care for due to ailing health at a time when you are still quite vivacious. Now, I wouldn't say these are dealbreakers, per se, but things to be considered nonetheless.

Personally, I think a good age range is anywhere from someone who is the same age as you up to someone who is about 7 or 8 years older than you. Once you are past 30, I think it's fine to even dip about 2 or 3 years below you as well.

If there is a sincere connection, I say go for it to see what can happen.

I totally agree.

 

[chickory_bee]

My SO is 14 years older than myself! I've never dated anyone younger...just such a turnoff. My friends are SOOOO disgusted with the fact that my men are older, but I need you to spoil me, open my door, pay for any and everything, and remember that I UPGRADE YOU...when you're 70 and decrepid, I'll still be young and sexy, so you'd better act right now! (My SO says that's the vainest comment he's ever heard! I told him he should be grateful that I am with him )

 

[esoterica]

It means he TOLD you he is involved. So when the **** hits the fan...He can always say..."I told you I had a friend".

Take it for what its worth, you are dealing w/ a guy that enjoys your company and the company of his other friend.

It is what it is...

yup... i see a red flag right there. be careful.

 

[tallygirl]

I've never dated anyone my age....they've always been older. My SO is 11 years older than me and he's just the greatest, most fabulous man in my eyes...Shhhh!!! He literally kisses my behind. He puckers up and plants his lips on my butt, then he'll say, "You know I would do anything for you, even kiss your behind." Shh!!! Did I just share that with ya'll?We have a lot of fun together, and believe me, I need all the energy I can muster to keep up with him.