Dating men different than your type

[sexyphoenix88]

Hey all,

I just got out of a 2 year relationship and I'm thinking about getting back in the dating scene but OBVIOUSLY the type of man i'm attracted to isn't working for me. I always end up with tall light skin black men. I know there are good ones out there but one the dating scene in Columbia, SC is limited and then it seems like everyone has the same crazy mentality. I guess I just want to know some of your thoughts on finding a better QUALITY man, regardless of looks. I'm not dating ANYMORE felons, no more men with ANY kids, no men that don't already have a degree or are ACTIVELY pursuing one, and no men that don't have a job or at least the same hustle mentality I do. I don't have an actual job right now but I'm a full time student and I get OUT THERE and model and do liquor promotions, any type of odd job I can find that brings money in. How hard is it for a real man to do that? And what are your thoughts on dating outside the race? I have never dated anyone except black men and some mixed with white. At this point I'm really just ready to try anything POSITIVE outside of my comfort zone, i guess you never know what great man is out there unless you think outside of the box. So any getting back in the positive dating game advice would be much appreciated!!

 

[UrbainChic]

Men are men are men are men. Race will not determine how he treats you, his character will.

Sent from my iPhone

 

[sexyphoenix88]

that is true.. i'm trying to find other ways and places to meet people too. I never been one to meet someone at a club or anything like that, but hell scums hide in good places too lol. sigh.

 

[UrbainChic]

If you are going to venture out of your "type" try to venture out of the character "type" as well.

Loud guys vs quiet guys etc.

 

[meesch]

I always end up with tall light skin black men. I know there are good ones out there

giiiiiiiiiiiiirl, i would like to agree with that, but idk... this is literally the EXACT description of dudes i had to hang it up on i dont trust no light skinnededed black men ANYMORE

anyhoo, if your previous type has been player types/with kids/no jobs, what sort of guy do you think you want to date now, that is not that type? because i mean like.... (having trouble articulating this) it's kind of like that particular type of men are not a TYPE, but like, a group that should have been avoided in the first place.... so, it's not saying something about dudes that look a certain way, it speaks to the character of dudes who just aren't doing anything with their life. ugh, that didnt say what i was trying to say

i think the quickest way to venture toward a different type is to a.) not date men with any kids b.) only date men with at least a college degree

 

[CocoBunny]

Date outside your type. Your type may not be who is good for you or what you need. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Good Luck!

 

[LivingDol1]

Yeah, physical type, you can steer from that if you want but it is all about character. How have you met the last few guys you've dated? What are the ideal qualities you want in a good man? Think about that and then try to figure out where this type of guy goes and hangs out. Maybe he plays in a pool league. Maybe he volunteers every week at an animal shelter. Ever thought about joining a club? Or just picking up a new hobby that involves working with other people?

Maybe also switching up where you hang out will help as well. Expose yourself to different types of guys.

 

[sexyphoenix88]

yes ladies all good advice.. i been busy making a list of things i want my partner to have, personality wise, character wise, where he's at in life and trying to be.. all of that.. lol this should be interesting.. doing thinking with my head and not my gina anymore LOL

 

[cutiepiesensei]

lol outside your type....I had a "type"......and then I ended up with my current man who is shorter than me lol. Told me peers I would never EVER date a shorter guy, and here I go falling in love with one. Karma smh I actually posted a thread about it

Going outside the box for your "physical" type opens up a lot of new doors. However, never EVER settle for someone who doesn't fit your type character-wise, mentally, or emotionally. I wanted a tall cute guy that was funny, a bit of a nerd like me, sensitive but still tough, appreciated my artwork, like japanese cartoons, loved me unconditionally, and an engineer (intelligence and job becomes very important). Got all of that but tall lol

 

[LadyBugsy]

i don't know if this applies to you but my suggestion is to avoid dating anyone you meet at work (modeling/liquor promotions). Been there, done that! The industry can provide you with an interesting social scene but I find that it is tricky to navigate.

Where do you usually meet your male admirers?

Have you ever considered dating a classmate? College is one of the BEST places to find a man IMO.

 

[cutiepiesensei]

i don't know if this applies to you but my suggestion is to avoid dating anyone you meet at work (modeling/liquor promotions). Been there, done that! The industry can provide you with an interesting social scene but I find that it is tricky to navigate.

Where do you usually meet your male admirers?

Have you ever considered dating a classmate? College is one of the BEST places to find a man IMO.

^agreed. in college, it seems you're more likely to find a man who's goals and aspirations coincide with your own. I mean, you both are at the same school lol

 

[LivingDol1]

yes ladies all good advice.. i been busy making a list of things i want my partner to have, personality wise, character wise, where he's at in life and trying to be.. all of that.. lol this should be interesting.. doing thinking with my head and not my gina anymore LOL

Making lists is good. I started to keep a dating journal in December. I wrote the top 25 qualities I want in a man and then narrowed it down to 10 must haves. I think it helps to have something to go back to as reference to keep you on track. Or track your changes.

 

[MsSanz92]

I know your pain.... My "type" is tall, slender/athletic built, medium/brown skinned but some how I always end up yellow/beige men I guess that's what I attract! But yea definitely go outside your type because there are plenty of guys that are great that you can meet that aren't your type and might be a much better option than the ones who are your type.