Dating life: Do I go? Guys seem to never listen...

AnjelLuvs

AnjelLuvs

Well-Known Member
Rant/Advise if want:

I am telling this guy that I am not interested in last minute dates....

Yesterday we met for Coffee, and he was like lets do something tomorrow, okay cool, thinking I have nothing going on... This was around (8ish)

I told him I was going to a Jazz concert at 6 though, which wouldnt take up whole night and we could do something after, (decided to skip to cut hair, but can get to that later) He is like alright lets do 8pm. So I respond what are we going to do, go, etc? He was all like dont worry I got this... :perplexed

fast forward to a couple of minutes ago, lets say 6:30pm, still havent heard from him all day... so I call, like yea I am in lobby of concert:)rolleyes:) what happened to you. He was like oh I thought you had concert, I am like yea, but are we still on, he says yea, so I am like what happened to you... then tells me to calm down... I was like I am calm... ( I know doing too much here right)

I am sitting on other end like was he going to call at 8pm.... I feel like this is starting off wrong...

This is 2nd time he has done this... albeit, this time I did say yes to date very short notice, but I am thinking later that night, or even in am he going to text/call or something, but nothing...

Should I mention that he is African. Maybe they do things different in his culture...
 
Last edited:
He may not have an organised personality type and prefers to do things off the cuff. If you don't like that, then it will continue to annoy you.
 
I don't like his style, all last minute, I got this, calm down mess. If we went out I'd cut the day short and never go out with him again last minute, as in I wouldn't call him about a date, I'd text to say I've made other plans since I haven't heard from you, assume you must have made other plans as well.
 
hopeful said:
I don't like his style, all last minute, I got this, calm down mess. If we went out I'd cut the day short and never go out with him again last minute, as in I wouldn't call him about a date, I'd text to say I've made other plans since I haven't heard from you, assume you must have made other plans as well.
Click to expand...


I know a lot of people like this, and this is the best way to deal with them. Never plan your day around them...they get in where they fit in...
 
***MAJOR UPDATE***

I know I shouldnt be posting this here, as yall have memories like no tomorrow, and some be quick to throw it in face like 20 years down line, BUT here goes as I kind of need to vent my thoughts...

if you dont want to read any further: I GOT STOOD UP :perplexed

-----

Earlier I posted in the: *-*Single Ladies Support Thread!!*-* Post#1594

Me earlier said:
PS will post a thread later today about experiences and this guy that has been trying to court me hard for so many years but that's another story
Click to expand...

So from that story, this is a guy that been trying to holla for several years...

I think I posted about him in past, his grammar and spelling was wayyyyyyy off so I was like I cant rock with that...

Anyways, He tried again several months ago, and that situation went no where, it is the issues I speak of upthread, the last minute stuff... Grammar has improved at this point... I do have to denote that he had fake Kanye's on, but some people are not into fashion, okay let that slide... :blush: He does have a SUV and lives on own...

I spoke to one of my male friends, and he is like let it go, you would only be dating him because you dont have alot on plate right now so why date someone not really that interested in, because you will be playing with emotions once back on feet... I listened to that advice...

So I see him about two weeks ago looking aight, we exchange numbers, and asking if I am serious etc etc... I am like yea....

Last night was a short coffee walk, because he just wanted to see me,see if I was serious, okay... so I am like when you taking me out, he is like when do you want, I am like tomorrow, after this Jazz concert... He is like ok cool, does 8pm work, then I am like when/where/etc... see rest up-thread...

I think I texted around 4:30pm today, like whats up, no response....
6:00pm rolls around, nothing...
6:30pm I call, and he is like yea 8, I am like so when were you going to at least call... etc etc... (Just thirsty on my part I feel... At this point I am annoyed because of the calm down stuff)

Yall can read ending upthread as nothing happened after that... Actually no that is not ending, I called him numerous times at 8:30 and I think he hung upon me...

Lessons Learned.....
- Stop being the aggressor, just let things flow
- Stop acting needy
- If it aint flowing, dont stress it, and if they/a guy doesnt give you that courtesy of information in advance plan somthing else to do, so that they realize you have a life and not waiting on them
- Wait, be positive on the Lord... I felt that he was giivng me signs of this end result all throughout night, hence thread... I was thinking I dont really wan to go, go for a free meal, shoot I didnt even get dressy, so that took sting off a bit, I was dressed like I was going out with girls to a movie... (Actually didnt even get dressed, but that is what I was planning on wearing...
 
Last edited:
I know you wish you had listened to your friend. But now you know. This guy was a jocka. Weird he pursued so much then fell back. Lessons learned are spot on:yep:.
 
I fell you, OP! And I wont use it against you down the line. :)

Actually, I have to fight those urges like you explained, so I get it. For me, it's not that I'm insecure, but I'm a Type A personality in RL and like to get things DONE, NOW, dont F-CK WITH ME. Let's MOVE! I tend to take the reigns immediately if a man (or woman) hesitates or falters even for a second....

A good rule I'm finding is if dude dont call by noon to confirm an evening date, do something else.
 
Lessons learned were good. I don't have a problem with last minute as much as I used to. I had a few guys that followed all the dating rules and still were flakes. But it needs to be at least 24 hours of doing something and I'm not calling you to make sure we are going. If I don't hear from you I will keep it moving. I can make other plans.
 
Bun Mistress said:
Lessons learned were good. I don't have a problem with last minute as much as I used to. I had a few guys that followed all the dating rules and still were flakes. But it needs to be at least 24 hours of doing something and I'm not calling you to make sure we are going. If I don't hear from you I will keep it moving. I can make other plans.
Click to expand...

That is the main reason why I was annoyed... I previously turned down a date, short notice per other comments, and he was mad, so here I am telling you I don't do spare of minute, why do I have to keep repeating... Okay we established a date, but the where's when's were not established, I am like just because I say yes lets do something, doesn't mean call me at that time and we will figure it out from there... :perplexed
 
I've had this happen to me a couple of times....pursue hard, time after time and then when you show interest disappear.

I think some men just want to be wanted...especially by a woman who's been meh on them for the most part. (hence the setting it up so you'd have to call him to figure out what was up)

On to bigger and better!
 
Currently dealing with someone who does this. Sets up stuff and never follows through. This week HE texted asking if I wanted to catch up Saturday morning. When I agreed he said he'd text me later in the week with details. Not a peep from him since. Saturday morning came and went. He'll never, ever hear from me again.
 
Guys like this are annoying but the good thing about them is that they show you who they are early, before you have a chance to fall for them hard.
 
I wouldn't had called him to remind of our date at the concert. It was his idea, so I would've waited until he called me to still confirm our date after the concert. If he's acting like this after only a second date, I would just leave him alone.

Sent from lavish iPhone
 
Sorry this happened to you...but one lesson I recently finally got...was when a man wants you..you will know...he will make it clear...you won't have to guess..he will make the plans the dates, will want to see you morning, noon and night..if you let him....so consider this a blessing...onto the next!!
 
Update: He texts this am... :rolleyes:!!! No response from me, I deleted number already :yep:
 
Last edited:
DarkJoy said:
I fell you, OP! And I wont use it against you down the line. :)

Actually, I have to fight those urges like you explained, so I get it. For me, it's not that I'm insecure, but I'm a Type A personality in RL and like to get things DONE, NOW, dont F-CK WITH ME. Let's MOVE! I tend to take the reigns immediately if a man (or woman) hesitates or falters even for a second....

A good rule I'm finding is if dude dont call by noon to confirm an evening date, do something else.
Click to expand...
Yup. and if a guy keeps asking me to last minute stuff, i tell them point blank. Im always on the go and have plans for a week in advance. A lie but they dont know that.

**SaSSy** said:
I wouldn't had called him to remind of our date at the concert. It was his idea, so I would've waited until he called me to still confirm our date after the concert. If he's acting like this after only a second date, I would just leave him alone.

Sent from lavish iPhone
Click to expand...
This.

AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
Update: He texts this am... :rolleyes:!!! No response from me, I deleted number already :yep:
Click to expand...
What did the text say?
 
SeatownSista said:
How did you come to that conclusion? If that's all he was interested in, seems weird that he would stand the OP up like he did.
Click to expand...


There are plenty of reasons that I am too tired to go into right now. It's so obvious from the story she portrayed here. Most women are totally unaware how men are thinking.
 
don't feel bad. i remember being stood up, waiting at a coffee place. he made plans with me last minute. i sat there like a dummy and kept calling. my phone went dead, so i gave up and went home. then he called the next day and tried to give me some lame excuse. yeah that didn't work out, but he was so fine..:lol:
 
VelvetRain said:
There are plenty of reasons that I am too tired to go into right now. It's so obvious from the story she portrayed here. Most women are totally unaware how men are thinking.
Click to expand...

but how was he going to get some if his behind didn't bother to show up? nawh, i think he may have had a girlfriend or something.
 
hmmm I do this with other people but don't allow them to do this with me. I like for everyone to be on my time. :look:

someone tried to act funky about me deciding he needed to be on board with my last minute ideas. It didnt end well for him. I won. :sekret:


eta: I think its different when the shoe is on the other foot. Meaning its different when men like to make last minute plans and women comply. #doublestandard.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

AnjelLuvs
Should I reply... I kinda already know the answer... Lol
Replies
17
Views
633
VelvetRain
V
dede1129
Are Guys Really That Clueless???
Replies
18
Views
422
runwaydream
runwaydream
C
I've never felt so low in my life
2 3
Replies
64
Views
4K
Curlykale
Curlykale
K
YOU GUYS I REALLY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!
Replies
10
Views
286
Sugar Brown
S
andrea
OH.. I have issues..but I really cant afford a relationship counselor.. please help
Replies
14
Views
319
Seeking8Rights
Seeking8Rights
Back
Top