Dating beneath you???

PhoenixRose360

PhoenixRose360

New Member
Did you ever feel like the person you're dating isn't on the same page with you? The longer you're together, the more you realize this is just a recipe for disaster? Or you ever feel like the life goals you are striving for like financial security he/she isn't?
 
No because one of the reasons that our relationship is going so well is because he has the same goals I do. He wants to rise to the top and build his resume at a young age, as have I. We're aren't doing the eact same thing but we are working towards the same result.
 
LaBelleChele said:
Did you ever feel like the person you're dating isn't on the same page with you? The longer you're together, the more you realize this is just a recipe for disaster? Or you ever feel like the life goals you are striving for like financial security he/she isn't?
Click to expand...

Yes. And this means it's time to break up.
 
LaBelleChele said:
Did you ever feel like the person you're dating isn't on the same page with you? The longer you're together, the more you realize this is just a recipe for disaster? Or you ever feel like the life goals you are striving for like financial security he/she isn't?
Click to expand...

Yes...:perplexed
 
He has goals but i have to push him. He is easily defeated and that bothers me because i am a try until you make it type person and he is more the system is against me and i will never make it. Once the whining is over and i put a foot in his a%% then he gets up and tries again. But this can be very trying and tiring on my part.
 
Yes, just dropped some one for that very reason. (It's most irritating when their words say their on the same page as far as life, financial & professional goals, but their actions in those arenas say something totally different.) If you're a slacker, at least own up to it!:wallbash:
 
betteron2day said:
He has goals but i have to push him. He is easily defeated and that bothers me because i am a try until you make it type person and he is more the system is against me and i will never make it. Once the whining is over and i put a foot in his a%% then he gets up and tries again. But this can be very trying and tiring on my part.
Click to expand...
Hell it sounds like your describing a mothers job with her child. I'm sure it will get tiresome for you to believe in someone that doesn't really believe in themselves over a period of time. I admire your tenacity though:grin: I hope he realizes what a jewel you are for pushing that ***.
 
That's actually how it feels, and mind you I don't have any kids!!! I'm not saying that my money is 100% right, but I'm working on it, saving, 401k etc. Meanwhile, he ain't saying s**t and looking at rims and motorcycle helmets to buy. I'm not saying don't enjoy your money, but if you have nothing saved, and drive a 92 Acura sitting on 20's, what's the purpose? A) the car is going to eventually either need work or need to be replaced and b) how can you even purchase another vehicle, when you're already overextended on a motorcycle? Is it me???
 
Well how do you feel about him? What other qualities does he have? Do they outweigh this problem?

If you cant get passed that, you will likely regret that you didnt leave sooner. My hat's off to you though. I dont tolerate men like that very well. If I have to put my foot in your arse about things like that, you become very unattractive and unappealing with a quickness and the relationship will not work.
 
He's a good guy, funny, caring, somewhat attentive. But I'm feeling like when do you wake up and realize that you can't keep spending and not saving? I'm like the time for action is now, while you have no kids, no mortgage, etc. This has been an ongoing issue for us and truthfully it's not getting any better. I feel like I would be carrying him, not a 50/50 partnership.
 
yes.

although we were both in school, he just doesn't want to DO anything with his life...

so i left him a few days ago. it's the second time we've broken up, and i think i'm totally done with him.
 
LaBelleChele said:
That's actually how it feels, and mind you I don't have any kids!!! I'm not saying that my money is 100% right, but I'm working on it, saving, 401k etc. Meanwhile, he ain't saying s**t and looking at rims and motorcycle helmets to buy. I'm not saying don't enjoy your money, but if you have nothing saved, and drive a 92 Acura sitting on 20's, what's the purpose? A) the car is going to eventually either need work or need to be replaced and b) how can you even purchase another vehicle, when you're already overextended on a motorcycle? Is it me???
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No its not you. You realize what is important and a priority. If he is in his early twenties he may not yet understand what your trying to teach him plus boys can be rather hardheaded. He may have to fall to see whats really up. Just don't you keep trying to save him from himself because then your enabling his bs.

Chile I have ran into some ole fools still living from the the outside in ie:rim's, designer this and that w/o a thought to long term investments.
 
Did he give clues in the beginning?? hhhhmm we've been together for 4 years, he claims that he was on the grind, but come to think of it, he did. Needless to say we can see I didn't pay attention to those warnings. But I have given him his walking papers and he's like I'm going to try, I'm like look if you haven't done anything in 4 yrs, what's so different now????
 
all damn you already don gave em walking papers:look:




Ok so did you start this thread to vent or because your thinking about giving him another try?
 
LaBelleChele said:
Did he give clues in the beginning?? hhhhmm we've been together for 4 years, he claims that he was on the grind, but come to think of it, he did. Needless to say we can see I didn't pay attention to those warnings. But I have given him his walking papers and he's like I'm going to try, I'm like look if you haven't done anything in 4 yrs, what's so different now????
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damn. why is it always that one thing?? cause you said, everything else was fine. i hear about this scenario from a lot of people.

it's like either he's cheating or he's not going anything with himself. that's all i hear. anyway, im rambling...
 
I started this post mostly to VENT!!! And then part of me, feels like a fool that let it go this long and did not wake up sooner.
 
betteron2day said:
He has goals but i have to push him. He is easily defeated and that bothers me because i am a try until you make it type person and he is more the system is against me and i will never make it. Once the whining is over and i put a foot in his a%% then he gets up and tries again. But this can be very trying and tiring on my part.
Click to expand...

My first boyfriend was exactly like this.
Even his family told me at christmas how happy they were that I was part of his life so that I could push him to do better.

That Ninja was 5 years older than me... he shoulda been pushing ME to do better... not the other way around. (or at least pushing himself more and letting me focus on me)

When he started having marriage talks, i was like :nono:

To this day, people still don't understand why i'm not with him...
all i can think is:nono:
 
I always feel like this. I can never find a male who has gooals in life, knows how to get to them, or just has some get up about them. Many of them remind me of my father...which is scary. I feel like I just settle too much, I have dated a many guy just for the sake of going with someone. Because of this, I have been miserable. The last guy seemed boring from the get go! He has a job and plays football, but he isn't in school, and has no personality...I mean none. Conversation went like this: What you do today?....."Oh"...."That's nice"....so...."What did you do today"

I can never find a guy that's like me, intellectual, different, and spontaneous....well I find them but they don't find me lol
 
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