Dating a high profile (public) official

ThickHair

New Member
Has anyone every dated a public official? How did it go?

I have been introduced to a public official in one of the little suburbs surrounding my city. He is in law enforcement and he is a big name in his little suburb of about 7,000 people. I was not told what he does, just a friend said I know a guy who would be perfect for you.

I said ok, what the heck, give him my number and we will see what happens, so she tells me his name and he has 2 teenage son's and that was pretty much it. He is only a year older than me, so I was like whatever. We chit chat, he ask what do I do. I always give people a very general answer, I work for the government and leave it at that. So he tells me what he does and I was oh, ok what does that entail and he explained. He said that he had replaced the current person who retired and he won the primary and general election and he will be sworn in next month. Then we went on to talk about other things. We are going out Sunday to dinner.

I was not starry eyed and I thought nothing of it until I told my mother. She said, oh he is a public official, etc. Wow you are big time. I was like um whatever lady, he is a man with a job, nothing outstanding because I am a woman with a job, nothing outstanding.

Momma Thickhair apparently called my sister. So my sister calls me yakking on about him and she knows he is a nice looking guy and heard that he is very nice. She knows 2 women who tried to get with him and he shot them down and how did I manage that. I told her the hookup story and she was like for real. I said it was nothing outstanding. So she found a clip on the news about him and sent it too me and said "You think this is nothing outstanding? You really need your head examined. This man has it and he asked you out? You are so ahead of the game."

ETA: Yes, he is a brotha.
 
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Um, ThickHair, there's no skeletons in your closet right? :look: :sekret:
Other than I am a divorcee'. I don't have a criminal record and I didn't have a juvi record, I have paid all of my taxes and I am not a former stripper or dominatrix. The government did a background check on me. Everyone in my small family gets along and they haven't done anything crazy. I don't have any shady friends that I know of.

What else is there?
 
If you are a very private person, you will have to adjust if you pursue this relationship because people will try to be in your business.

and..., there may be a lot of public functions to attend, and more than likely you will be on your own at these functions as he will have to touch base and network with a lot of people.

Also, he may have a very busy schedule, and may not be able to do all the things that you would like to do when you want to do them especially during campaign time.

This is a worse case scenario, but if you you can handle it, then I say go for it.
 
^^ He said that was his down fall with his former relationship, especially during campaign time. He said that she really didn't have much going on in her life and he was gone a lot of the time. He said he thought that he wanted a woman who was all about him and no one else. He said it was partly his fault and he knows that he has to be with someone who has things going on outside of him. He said it got draining after a while and she was PO'd at him all the time also.

Well, I have plenty going on and since I have dated older guys who were very involved within their community I know how that works. Just stand smile and talk to folks while he works the room. I am glad he is my age though.

I am going super slow though, and handle it day by day.

Crazy thing is I use to work with the school board president of his borough.
 
^^ He said that was his down fall with his former relationship, especially during campaign time. He said that she really didn't have much going on in her life and he was gone a lot of the time. He said he thought that he wanted a woman who was all about him and no one else. He said it was partly his fault and he knows that he has to be with someone who has things going on outside of him. He said it got draining after a while and she was PO'd at him all the time also.

Well, I have plenty going on and since I have dated older guys who were very involved within their community I know how that works. Just stand smile and talk to folks while he works the room. I am glad he is my age though.

I am going super slow though, and handle it day by day.

Crazy thing is I use to work with the school board president of his borough.

It's good that you have plenty going on for yourself. That is the only way I believe it can work. That is a big reason why you see most wives of public officials having a charity or cause of their own to champion and be involved with.

DH and I have other friends in the public eye and one of them can't keep a girlfriend because of the very things that I mentioned. It's not for everyone.
 
I think that's the key-having your own life, but at the same time being a part of his. Wishing you the best--I think you'll be fine.

I'm dating a somewhat well known public "servant". He's a minister of music at a mega-church in our home town and a very good singer. Everybody knows this and knows him. I've been warned that in the past women have flocked to him because of his singing abilities. :rolleyes: I am YET to hear him sing but I know that he can sing. I was warned that he's had a lot of girlfriends in the past because of this gift. I simply told them that I'd be more concerned if he didn't have any girlfriends at all (since music ministers are known to be...well you know :perplexed ), ....especially since I've had my share of boyfriends too, so who am I to judge with that. So we'll see how it goes....so far so good.

As long as you're being respected, getting in some decent quality time, and being considerate of each others professional life, then I think that you and the Mr. will be fine. Good luck!
 
^^^ Thanks.

I just had to laugh because I do realize that most Minister of Music's are "Ya Know". I just had a little giggle on that one.
 
I would say, stop investigating and finding out about him, let it be the surprises that he reveals that keep you interested. Keep it fun.

Sometimes the more you know, the more on guard or more inhibited you become.

Sometimes people want their down time to be w/ someone that is just regular and not "in the know" of their status.


...And if you mess up, send him down south to me. :grin:
 
At this point you have nothing to lose. Go out enjoy the dinner and time and just see where it goes from there.

Have fun and please come back here with details. Don't have to be specific but you know ya girls will want to know.

Signed

Dear Abby Mscocoface! :yep:
 
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I would say, stop investigating and finding out about him, let it be the surprises that he reveals that keep you interested. Keep it fun.

Sometimes the more you know, the more on guard or more inhibited you become.

Sometimes people want their down time to be w/ someone that is just regular and not "in the know" of their status.


...And if you mess up, send him down south to me. :grin:

He told me about his occupation and then I Googled him cuz the one who told me about him didn't mention his occupation. I always Google guys and also look for court records to see if they have "issues". Nothing more than that. My sister was the one who informed me about "WHO" he is. I had no idea.

At this point you have nothing to lose. Go out enjoy the dinner and time and just see where it goes from there.

Have fun and please come back here with details. Don't have to be specific but you know ya girls will want to know.

Signed

Dear Abby Mscocoface! :Yep:

Sure will.
 
Has anyone every dated a public official? How did it go?

I have been introduced to a public official in one of the little suburbs surrounding my city. He is in law enforcement and he is a big name in his little suburb of about 7,000 people. I was not told what he does, just a friend said I know a guy who would be perfect for you.

I said ok, what the heck, give him my number and we will see what happens, so she tells me his name and he has 2 teenage son's and that was pretty much it. He is only a year older than me, so I was like whatever. We chit chat, he ask what do I do. I always give people a very general answer, I work for the government and leave it at that. So he tells me what he does and I was oh, ok what does that entail and he explained. He said that he had replaced the current person who retired and he won the primary and general election and he will be sworn in next month. Then we went on to talk about other things. We are going out Sunday to dinner.

I was not starry eyed and I thought nothing of it until I told my mother. She said, oh he is a public official, etc. Wow you are big time. I was like um whatever lady, he is a man with a job, nothing outstanding because I am a woman with a job, nothing outstanding.

Momma Thickhair apparently called my sister. So my sister calls me yakking on about him and she knows he is a nice looking guy and heard that he is very nice. She knows 2 women who tried to get with him and he shot them down and how did I manage that. I told her the hookup story and she was like for real. I said it was nothing outstanding. So she found a clip on the news about him and sent it too me and said "You think this is nothing outstanding? You really need your head examined. This man has it and he asked you out? You are so ahead of the game."

ETA: Yes, he is a brotha.


I like your post because it's similar to my situation. The man I'm seeing is an elected public figure. I won't say what he does for a living but he is very influential in the Hispanic community.

I met him through a mutual friend. He saw me at a political fundraiser and told the friend that he wanted to meet me. I thought he was cute but I never thought anything more than that. After I met him and we started going out, I was totally game. I was thinking, I could get use to this...he is an amazing man and such a joy to be around. We have so much fun together and I truly believe he is a keeper.


Thickhair, have fun on your date. Hopefully all goes well.
 
Post date UPDATE.

This man is very handsome, while I was not staring at him the whole time, I could feel him looking at me and smiling. We had nice early dinner conversation, giggles and laughs. We were talking like we were old friends.

He told me he has never been on a blind date before and that he resisted being set up by our friend for so long and he figured what the heck.

Ladies he is about 6'1", 250 lbs, carmel colored, smart, handsome, funny and just, oh wow.

So we are going out Wednesday because I am going to Chicago for Thanksgiving and I won't be back until Sunday, I really can't wait to see him again. In his presence I have been playing cool but on the inside I have butterflies.

Score 1 for the Plus Sized Diva.
 
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YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! For Team Thickhair.

Enjoy the journey honey, you deserve it and have a wonderful holiday season. Be sure to call him on Thanksgiving and send him blessings and holiday greetings.
 
I just love this!! Be sure to post as many updates as possible. I'm married, but I just love reading/hearing about successful relationships and the 'buildup'.
 
^^ He said that was his down fall with his former relationship, especially during campaign time. He said that she really didn't have much going on in her life and he was gone a lot of the time. He said he thought that he wanted a woman who was all about him and no one else. He said it was partly his fault and he knows that he has to be with someone who has things going on outside of him. He said it got draining after a while and she was PO'd at him all the time also.

Well, I have plenty going on and since I have dated older guys who were very involved within their community I know how that works. Just stand smile and talk to folks while he works the room. I am glad he is my age though.

I am going super slow though, and handle it day by day.

Crazy thing is I use to work with the school board president of his borough.

since you've 'been there, done that' there should be no need for concern right?
 
Bookmarking

To answer your question no. I dated before they became high profile (my sis reminds me all the time "you should not have let that one go :blah:")

OP I think the best thing you can do is be honest with yourself. Being high profile will not change a GOOD man.

wishing you all the best :yep:
 
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