Could he be on the DL?

cocoberry10

cocoberry10

New Member
Okay, this guy I was talking to made me start to wonder if he was on the DL.

He seemed really comfortable talking about certain aspects of homosexuality that I have never found a heterosexual man comfortable to talk about.

He started talking about "tops" and "bottoms." I told my sister and she said that's a term only gay men know (her best friend is an openly gay man, and she's been around a lot of gay men because of him, she's married).

I had no concept of "tops" and "bottoms" before he told me. He also said he thinks that sexuality is a continuum.

Do you guys know men like this?

What the heck is going on here?:grin::look:
 
Girl :roadrunner:and hide aint no use to even trying to find the answer out these days!!! LOL And just because he is comfortable talking about these issues that doesn't mean you are......
 
He could be. He might not be. A wide range of sexual knowledge doesn't always mean you are gay, and tops/bottoms come up in a wide variety of heterosexual sexual practices. And you can be straight and still understand and respect the concept of a sexual continuum.

Just ask him. :lachen:
 
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I am familiar with the terms, so I don't think it's strange for a man to know/use them. But go with your gut as far as trying to figure out if he's on the DL, he must've done some other things to make you wonder.
 
That whole continuum comment doesn't sit well with me. I would ask him to elaborate on what he meant by it just to see what he would say
 
gold_dancer.gif


gayyyyyy...
 
what did he study in school? Some of these issues of defining gender/sexuality/roles in the bedroom could be something he has learned bout from a book, not necessarily through 1st hand knowledge.

Just because I can discuss the views of people who are anti-choice doesn't mean I want to outlaw abortion.....
 
kandake said:
That whole continuum comment doesn't sit well with me. I would ask him to elaborate on what he meant by it just to see what he would say
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That's what stood out to me as well.Him knowing sexual terms would not stand out to me as long as it went with the topic of conversation.

But to say your sexuality is on a "continuim" comment comes off like your open to any and everything sexually and ready to explore.:rolleyes:

If it were me I'd be leery.Though me knowing me.....I'd ask him!
 
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I know about tops and bottoms and I'm not a gay guy. One of my close friends is though. Maybe he's got a friend or relative that's gay/bi and is feeling you out for your reaction?

What's his body language when he sees a good looking women versus a good looking man? You can't fake body language.
 
The tops and bottoms thing wouldn't bother me. I hear that alot these days.

He does think sex is a continuom though, so he may be open to bisexuality.
I would just ask him, since he's comfortable talking about this stuff.
 
Nyssa28 said:
I am familiar with the terms, so I don't think it's strange for a man to know/use them. But go with your gut as far as trying to figure out if he's on the DL, he must've done some other things to make you wonder.
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Well, I have to admit, he brings up the topic of homosexuality somewhat often. Much more often than any other "straight" man I've dated:yep:

He actually sent me a link today via email, but it's too naughty to post here. It was basically about a woman giving anal pleasure to a man (a how to guide). Not sure if that changes your opinion. I'm trying to keep it g-rated
 
cocoberry10 said:
Well, I have to admit, he brings up the topic of homosexuality somewhat often. Much more often than any other "straight" man I've dated:yep:

He actually sent me a link today via email, but it's too naughty to post here. It was basically about a woman giving anal pleasure to a man (a how to guide). Not sure if that changes your opinion. I'm trying to keep it g-rated
Click to expand...

Ummmm. Now, I think he is definitely bi.
 
cocoberry10 said:
Okay, this guy I was talking to made me start to wonder if he was on the DL.

He seemed really comfortable talking about certain aspects of homosexuality that I have never found a heterosexual man comfortable to talk about.

He started talking about "tops" and "bottoms." I told my sister and she said that's a term only gay men know (her best friend is an openly gay man, and she's been around a lot of gay men because of him, she's married).

I had no concept of "tops" and "bottoms" before he told me. He also said he thinks that sexuality is a continuum.

Do you guys know men like this?

What the heck is going on here?:grin::look:
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Depends on what the topic was about. Being knowledgable about gay terms doesnt make you gay.

I've known most of these terms for years, then again I used ti be a huge Madonna fan :lachen:
 
Did you ever think he is testing you? Men do not come in Tarzan He-man and Sparkly Diva only. There are people who do not think having knowledge of other sexual orientations indicates anything about their own. I do think sexuality is a continuum, with me being on the far end of 'straight' :lachen:. But I wouldn't want to be with someone who turns their nose up at my friends who are more flexible about who they want to be with. Just the same way some people don't want to be with someone who knows what 'tops' and 'bottoms' are :look:.
 
cocoberry10 said:
Well, I have to admit, he brings up the topic of homosexuality somewhat often. Much more often than any other "straight" man I've dated:yep:

He actually sent me a link today via email, but it's too naughty to post here. It was basically about a woman giving anal pleasure to a man (a how to guide). Not sure if that changes your opinion. I'm trying to keep it g-rated
Click to expand...

Wow. :blush: Okay, that did have an impact on my opinion.

At the very least, he's sexually adventurous. He doesn't seem to have a problem talking/emailing about um. . .stuff. :look: Have you guys known each other long enough for him to be talking about things of such an . . .intimate nature?

You know, I think I'd just have to point blank ask him where he lies on the sexuality spectrum, because it kinda sounds like he's all over the map! If he's on the dl, he's not really doing a very good job of it. :laugh: I'm thinking at the very least bicurious just by the information provided on this thread.
 
blue_flower said:
"Tops" and "Bottoms"? Those are DL terms for getting your salad tossed! That guy is sooooo gay! RUN!
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Actually, I thought that meant the guy who penetrates (on top) vs the one who GETS penetrated. :look:

I knew an obviously gay teen who was quite active in my church. He opened up to me but refused to admit to having "fully" gay sex because "Psh, I ain't no bottom!"
 
He sounds either bisexual or gay and he seems like he's having fun just dropping tons of hints instead of coming straight (lol) out and telling you.
 
If you have to ask...:nono:

But seriously, I knew NOTHING of tops and bottoms til my ex. And we all know how that ended up.

My BFF is a straight guy and I asked him if he knew and he thought it had to do with sports. And was seriously grossed out that they had created terms for that.

I'm just sayin...
 
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