controling or not

mcgheeola

mcgheeola

Well-Known Member
When my bf moved in with me I didn't think that I would have to change how I sleep.he been here for 6months now he said I sleep to far away from him I can't help the way that I sleep.I mean I've been sleeping my way for along time so he said but your in a relationship now.the only thing I asked him to do is buy food and pay half on the phone bill I pay all the other bills so I don't no what is talking about.he has to pay child support and he only gets maybe like fourhundred dollars evey two weeks.and he has is car payment twohundred and fiftydollars every pay check.so he's all ways broke so that means he can buy food but a little here and there.we don't really talk all we do is watch tv and by 7 he's ready to go to bed not sleep but watch more tv this is all we do :perplexedmy relationship is so boring
 
I'm confused...are you asking if he's controlling or just venting?

From what you posted, he seems like a few things, controlling isn't one of them though.
 
Why did you allow him to move in with you if he's always broke?

And he has the nerve to say "Your in a relationship now?" So! It's not like y'all are husband and wife.
 
Sounds like you need to research creative cheap dates since money is an issue. My library has free passes you can check out to all the musuems and the zoos in my city. Free concerts/dancing in the park, etc. Some theaters have 1/2 price times. Go drive/walk around some of the beautiful neighborhoods. The leaves are changing colors and are gorgeous.

If he is content and won't do anything, then well, sorry. From what you posted, I don't see controlling though.
 
This the issue that he goes to bed at 7pm? Why is this changing the way you sleep? Did you guys go out on dates more often 6 months ago?
 
Not controlling to me, just seems like he would like to cuddle when in bed. I get that because my hubby likes to cuddle too. I cuddle until I am ready to get my real sleep on, then I am all over the place. LOL
That is a small issue.

The money part is where my interest was piqued. I understand helping each other in a relationship but how much is too much? Especially when you're "just dating". Have you all been together for longer than the 6 months he's been living with you? Or did you get together one day and he moved in the next? It seems like you are doing alot in the situation which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, what else is he contributing aside from buying food and contributing HALF of the phone bill?
 
mcgheeola said:
When my bf moved in with me I didn't think that I would have to change how I sleep.he been here for 6months now he said I sleep to far away from him I can't help the way that I sleep.I mean I've been sleeping my way for along time so he said but your in a relationship now.the only thing I asked him to do is buy food and pay half on the phone bill I pay all the other bills so I don't no what is talking about.he has to pay child support and he only gets maybe like fourhundred dollars evey two weeks.and he has is car payment twohundred and fiftydollars every pay check.so he's all ways broke so that means he can buy food but a little here and there.we don't really talk all we do is watch tv and by 7 he's ready to go to bed not sleep but watch more tv this is all we do :perplexed my relationship is so boring
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You sleep to far away from him? Hmmm... I'm like you, I won't let anyone mess with my sleep. Sleeping time is holy to me. I can be all lovey dovey before I fall asleep, but when I'm sleeping I want to be left alone. I can't sleep on anyone's arm, it's like sleeping on a log.

Regarding the money issue, I think you asked for too little, that's why you don't get enough. Why would you ask a grown man to not pay for even half of your expenses?
It's not your problem if he has a child. He should provide for himself and the child, that's the least he can do, even if he has to work extra.

And to top things off, you're not even having fun anymore? It sounds like it's time for him to find another place for himself. Perhaps you would be happier if you didn't see him every day...
 
Question

Is he going through a rough patch and prior to all of this he had more going for him or has he always been broke? and he doesnt sound controlling
 
Well he has 4 kids two are grown he all ways looks depressed I no on payday.he had his own place but he couldn't aford it so that's how he came to move with me.we have been together for along time but he said that he don't want to get married because I act like his ex wife I hate when he threw here in my face.he won't get a second job and I don't understand why he won't he helps by telling me to stop turning the ac on and off but he's not paying the bill.I he's trying to help with his mouth but that's it.I have been by myself for a long timee so for me to just change because we are in a relationship its not going to happen because he wants it to.
 
Well, my opinion is that he needs to get a second job to help out with the bills since he's got free time to be watching t.v. so much. :ohwell: He's got it made with you paying for almost everything. IMO, the cuddling thing is the least of your worries. He's a leach.
 
he has four kids two are grown he always look depressed on payday.yes he had two job but he quite the second one.
 
He has four kids two are grown one time he was so depressed because my kids were with me and his were not so he said well at least you have your kids.my kids don't have a dad in there live they just have me so of course there with me. His kids have both parents and they see him.when I mean controling is he's only been here 6 months and he's try to tell me what to do.like o I don't like dishes in the sink ok my house is always clean so for him to come up in here and tell me abc&d no.
 
I can't believe he has been so honest about not wanting marriage, you being like his ex-wife, and to top it off he's broke and you still want to be with him. I really don't get it.
 
So, he refuses to get a job and contribute to the household expenses, has insulted you in the past, and doesn't seem to have a whole heck of a lot in common with you... what's your dilemma again? :perplexed
 
mcgheeola said:
Well he has 4 kids two are grown he all ways looks depressed I no on payday.he had his own place but he couldn't aford it so that's how he came to move with me.we have been together for along time but he said that he don't want to get married because I act like his ex wife I hate when he threw here in my face.he won't get a second job and I don't understand why he won't he helps by telling me to stop turning the ac on and off but he's not paying the bill.I he's trying to help with his mouth but that's it.I have been by myself for a long timee so for me to just change because we are in a relationship its not going to happen because he wants it to.
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That's not the right reason at all to move in with someone. :nono:
Your home is not a half way house or whatever it's called in English. It's not a hotel.
He shouldn't have moved in if he wasn't ready to share responsibilities like a real man.

I'm so sorry this happened, but I think you need to get out of this situation. Now you're basically supporting his four kids by letting him live with you for free.
 
hell, i'd be bored to if i was sleepin wif a man dat was broke. u may want to re-evaluate your situation and getchu a new boyfriend, preferrably one who has more income.....

but then again, if ur happy where ur at...then clap ur hands.
 
I feel that you're having a difficult time adjusting to this live-in situation and resentful that he's not pulling his weight in the house at the same time. And you have every right to be pissed. Why did he quit that second job?
 
mcgheeola said:
Well he has 4 kids two are grown he all ways looks depressed I no on payday.he had his own place but he couldn't aford it so that's how he came to move with me.we have been together for along time but he said that he don't want to get married because I act like his ex wife I hate when he threw here in my face.he won't get a second job and I don't understand why he won't he helps by telling me to stop turning the ac on and off but he's not paying the bill.I he's trying to help with his mouth but that's it.I have been by myself for a long timee so for me to just change because we are in a relationship its not going to happen because he wants it to.
Click to expand...
Oh wow! I'm with Xavier... I don't get why you are still with this man. Throwing his ex-wife in your face!? Kick this joker to the curb! You said you were bored anyway... you do not need this man to suck up space in your life.
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
hell, i'd be bored to if i was sleepin wif a man dat was broke. u may want to re-evaluate your situation and getchu a new boyfriend, preferrably one who has more income.....

but then again, if ur happy where ur at...then clap ur hands.
Click to expand...

ThatJerseyGirl! I am at work! I can not be laughing like this in my place of employment.

:lachen:
 
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Well he was working for FEDX but just the weekends that was like 3years ago.I cook I wash he clothes make is breakfast for work sometimes make coffee on the weekends and cook breakfast but o I'm
not making any changes.I told him he needs to cook more then 2 times out the
month he said o well you need to by stuff that I can cook putting it on me when he can just open his mouth and say something.
 
So you cook, you wash, you pay most of the bills while he hangs out and is 'depressed'? Sounds like he has it made. You're going to have to tell him that serious changes must be made if he's going to stay there with you and your kids.
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
hell, i'd be bored to if i was sleepin wif a man dat was broke. u may want to re-evaluate your situation and getchu a new boyfriend, preferrably one who has more income.....

but then again, if ur happy where ur at...then clap ur hands.
Click to expand...

@ThatJerseyGirl you need to put an NSFW warning on every post. :lol:

Mcgheeola, this guy is perfect for who you are right now: you require very little from him, and that's exactly what he's giving you. :scratchch If and when you decide you want more from a man (because you're worth that), you may need a new man as this one may not be able to keep up.
 
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wait a minute...hold up.

*reaches n bra...grabs newport n lights one*

lemme git dis hea straight, cuz see, i only read a little bit.

u work, he work, but he only brings home 4 hunnit dollas every two weeks. he gotta pay chile support and a car note. u pay everything else, and cook and clean and he gittin some puzzy on da reg.

chile, puleez. so u ain't complainin bout dat fact dat he broke (ain'tcho fault he gotta pay chile support). u complainin cuz u think he's controllin.

i think he gotchu dyckmatized cuz u got da game phucked up. my shyt don't even git wet for a brotha das broke, and u only bringin home like 4 hunnit erry two weeks. git da phuck....

he moved into ur place and u let a broke man run and tawk shyt in ur house? then u mad cuz he say u remind him of his ex? ok so u ain't mad cuz he broke and ain't shyt..u mad at dumb shyt.

u need to reprioritize da shytuation cuz das what it is...a SHYTTY shytuation. u auditionin for da role of wifey wif a broke man. think bout it.

he only doin this cuz u allowed it. u allowed him to move in, broke and all, knowin his situation, etc. so fa real, who are u really mad at.

dummy up and put him out. i'm sorry, but i can't wash, cook, clean for a man i gotta take care of cuz das what ur doin. and be phuckin??? aawww hell nawww....

put da muphucka out and stop playin urself cheap. how u gonna let a broke mu'phucka carry you in yo own house...chile puleez....
 
since this can't be real....


JVD3O.gif
 
I think someone mentioned this already, but it seems there's a bigger issue. The way you all sleep should be the least of your worries.

Does he have any redeeming qualities? There has to be a reason why you're still with this guy. Honestly it doesn't matter, I can't imagine anything that would make up for all the other stuff you've mentioned. Why settle for this.
 
This is so pathetic I don't really know what to say. It's like an old friend I had who's jailbird boyfriend was running her life while he was in jail.

Girl, why is sleeping habits so important to you while all this is happening???

Throw him out, you deserve better than him, and you KNOW that he ain't going to marry you either. Not saying he's marriage material, because he's not, but what are you getting out of this?

As my mom says, "This man is living high on the hog".....Having his cake, and eating it too, while you are starving.
 
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