christianity and online dating?

[LoveisYou]

Yall not getting what I am saying . I said earlier that it lowers your chances of danger or meeting rascals alot by not doing it online. I totally agree, bad men are everywhere in the church, online, everywhere. But when you go online you open yourself up to much more danger because you are setting something up with someone you can't even see. Yea, you see a picture, but is that really him? You find yourself been interested in someone you don't even see.

I got what you said (and I'm sure everyone else did too, we're not daft), there's no need for that, I simply made my own point....thanks!

 

[LucieLoo12]

I got what you said (and I'm sure everyone else did too we're not daft), there's no need for that, I simply made my own point....thanks!

I said that because posters keep saying, that it could happen in the church. No need to take offense sis, did not mean anything by it.

 

[LoveisYou]

I said that because posters keep saying, that it could happen in the church. No need to take offense sis, did not mean anything by it.

You quoted my post and I responded, I didn't "get" the use of the look smiley in your response to me, I thought it was unnecessary. We understand what you're saying, it's pretty clear, but we're RESPONDING to you, which is fair. Whether or not it's more likely to happen online or in real life, we are respectfully stating that it also happens in the church.

 

[LucieLoo12]

You quoted my post and I responded, I didn't "get" the use of the look smiley in your response to me, I thought it was unnecessary. We understand what you're saying, it's pretty clear, but we're RESPONDING to you, which is fair. Whether or not it's more likely to happen online or in real life, we are respectfully stating that it also happens in the church.

Sis. I only used the smiley because I know how things can be misunderstood online. I used the smiley so yall would know when I said "Yall dont get what I am saying" wasnt not being said with an attitude. Nothing more or nothing less.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

It would seem that you have to be 'extra' precautious, more precautious than just the one on one, face to face date ...

Yall not getting what I am saying . I said earlier that it lowers your chances of danger or meeting rascals alot by not doing it online. I totally agree, bad men are everywhere in the church, online, everywhere. But when you go online you open yourself up to much more danger because you are setting something up with someone you can't even see. Yea, you see a picture, but is that really him? You find yourself been interested in someone you don't even see.

 

[LucieLoo12]

It would seem that you have to be 'extra' precautious, more precautious than just the one on one, face to face date ...

Yes it would seem.........but many are not. Some people are too trusting of complete strangers. They say a few "sweet" things and they let their guard down.

 

[LoveisYou]

Sis. I only used the smiley because I know how things can be misunderstood online. I used the smiley so yall would know when I said "Yall dont get what I am saying" wasnt not being said with an attitude. Nothing more or nothing less.

Ok, well I'm glad we seem to understand each other now.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

The most dangerous question to ask in this forum is:

'Shimmie what do you think'..... ?

It's just too loaded...


One of the reasons is because just about everyone that I've prayed for, gets married.

at the first statement.

Add me to the prayer list to the second

#noshameinmyprayergame

 

[LucieLoo12]

One of the reasons is because just about everyone that I've prayed for, gets married.

Shimmie


I better not see you on TV trying to sell your miracle marriage prayers along with the others who sell miracle cloths, miracle rocks, slippers ...




j.k..

 

[StarScream35]

I'm trying to gather my thoughts on this whole issue of the un-married christian woman ...

yall dont kill me now...

imo it's a spiritual issue; look at the churches there are more women than men I'd dare say that there are more saved women than there are saved men, the men left their positions, meanwhile God wants to give us husbands but there aren't that many out there and since he doesn't force himself on folk our waiting time is going to be long in some cases many of us wont get married...

but did we cause this, from the beginning in the garden and later with women's liberation ....

excuse my ramblings but consider it, sorry OP not trying to hi-jack your thread...

@Shimmie what do you think?

I won't kill ya! I actually agree with you. You spoke the harsh truth that many do not want to address~~~the fact that there are more women in the church than men, especially in black churches. Truth be told, many of us will never get married because there just aren't that many saved men out there. If you would have told me this when I was a teen or in my 20's, I would have rolled my eyes at you. Now I'm in my 30's and see the reality of it all. Most churches are filled with beautiful, God fearing sistas all looking for the same thing but it just isn't there. I even tried my hand at attending white churches but I found that white men in the south were not receptive to dating black women. Same thing out here in the Midwest. I agree with you about women's liberation movement. Boy did that mess us up!

I wish things were different. This singleness is hitting me hard as I'm nearing the end of child bearing age and having many nights of sitting alone with nobody to love or love me. It gets depressing. Is it a spiritual battle? Maybe.............but something tells me it wasn't suppose to be like this. God never intended for it to be like this but people have the right to free will so there you go.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

^^ you left out the miracle oil and miracle water

I could use some of that miracle oil for my temples

 

[StarScream35]

You sound just like me. I've gone to different churches and the only ones I attract are to old or to young or just not my type! The decent looking ones are married. It's frustrating because I don't go to clubs or many social functions often so church would be a good place for my future husband to find me. The online thing is so intimidating and there is so much evil out there. I feel like God would not want me to expose myself to certain people. Putting my picture up is doing just that, exposing myself. It's a scary feeling. Maybe I'm over thinking it idk.

We must be kindred spirits because I've never been one to club and quite frankly never understood why people liked them. All that loud music and having to scream to talk to someone............hated it! Also hated losing my voice my the end of the night. Social functions are nerve racking because you have to put yourself out there to too many people. I'm better one on one with people and prefer intimate settings. I wish I could offer you some decent advice but here I am in my 30's sitting at home alone most nights. All of my college girlfriends, who are mostly white and Asian are all married with children. I couldn't even begin to tell you what that was like. My two black girlfriends all took to moving out to Dallas and DC to find men and still are single like myself.

 

[Shimmie]

I respect your opinion so I'm always interested in what you will share on certain topics...

like you marriages are also near and dear to my heart...I don't believe in limiting God either but the reality is not all who desire to be married will get married ...

at the bolded, I second that ...

I hear you and I have a 'gift' for you...

"Though a thousand may fall by my side; ten thousand by my right hand, it will not come nigh me...."

You already know where this scripture is located, God knows you have some powerful prayers...

It can be a thousand to ten thousand unmarried women as close as your right hand, HOWEVER...... their singlehood shall not come nigh thee.

Just say 'Amen'...

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

Shimmie in my Bahamian vernacular ; 'amen gal, I receive that' (that's a little more than amen)

I hear you and I have a 'gift' for you...

"Though a thousand may fall by my side; ten thousand by my right hand, it will not come nigh me...."

You already know where this scripture is located, God knows you have some powerful prayers...

It can be a thousand to ten thousand unmarried women as close as your right hand, HOWEVER...... their singlehood shall not come nigh thee.

Just say 'Amen'...

 

[Shimmie]

Shimmie


I better not see you on TV trying to sell your miracle marriage prayers along with the others who sell miracle cloths, miracle rocks, slippers ...




j.k..

I can't stop laughing at this... my stomach hurts...

Girl this is funny...

All I have is scripture and prayer and faith.

If God says, it's not good for man to be alone, then there's marriage. Even if it means going outside of your race...get married and be happy. :reddancer:

In Jesus' Name, everyone reading this shall be married... Praise God! Happily Married. The Blood Covenant of Jesus, seals it.

I'm not playing games. I don't want anyone's money. Just be happy and get married. Thank God for removing the blocks and hindrances; removing all counterfeits from your paths. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

 

[Shimmie]

Shimmie in my Bahamian vernacular ; 'amen gal, I receive that' (that's a little more than amen)

I'm serious... God did not say 'Be ye' single for life.' He said be fruitful and multiply; He also said that two are better than one. He said go out, two by two... God filled the ark with couples .. Male and Female.

I'm just sayin'... God ain't playin'...

I told you asking Shimmie what she thinks is LOADED, but with the Word of God...

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

I'll be forty-five in days, I aint trying to multiply nothing without my calculator ...

I'm serious... God did not say 'Be ye' single for life.' He said be fruitful and multiply; He also said that two are better than one. He said go out, two by two... God filled the ark with couples .. Male and Female.

I'm just sayin'... God ain't playin'...

I told you asking Shimmie what she thinks is LOADED, but with the Word of God...

 

[Laela]

^^

 

[Laela]

oh, I see... well, my response had everything to do with the heart, not the ways in which we meet people or seek friendships, etc... someone with game or bad intentions will have it both on/offline.

oh well I'll leave that all alone.

I guess my point is, why would you even be searching online?

Online dating is meeting someone online so yall can go on a date.

But to answer the question, if I did meet a brother online and we go to the same church now, he would know I was interested in him, so he would have his "best foot forward". He about to be real spiritual now, because he know I am looking .

I never stated it was sin/ungodly...but I can't say that it is godly either. It's one of those "lawful but not expedient" things.

And thats the thing. You may be seriously looking but it's alot of guys that prey on women on the Christian websites..

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

^^and you know what the good book says about the heart of a man (including women)

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

You had me at "I feel like does not want me to go this route."

Is not a "feeling" hun. Its a command.

You will be alright. Keep praying. Let God guide you.

But to be clear...I don't see anything inherently wrong with online dating. But you have to listen for what God has for YOUR LIFE.

 

[Shimmie]

I'll be forty-five in days, I aint trying to multiply nothing without my calculator ...

^^

Oooooooooooo wweeeeeeeeeeee...

Me neither... I've been praying for menopause to do it's thing, but it won't.

 

[Shimmie]

Shimmie in my Bahamian vernacular ; 'amen gal, I receive that' (that's a little more than amen)

Amein... and Amein... Laela's version.

I've learned something in my years of learning...

Stop hanging out with "ALL" 'singles'... it's depressing. The conversations become a negative confession. Most of my closest friends are married couples and it 'rubs off'.

Couples are great 'match makers'; they know what makes a good mate and they are always trying to hook up singles. It's just their nature; they want everyone to be like them... another married couple to hang out with. And the more a couple likes you, the more they will put into finding the right husband (or it's a guy, the right wife).

I've noticed this a lot...

Scripture:

"Every seed produces after it's own kind..."

Single people cannot produce... Married people can. They love 'creating' (match making) more married couples.

I'm not saying that a single person should 'discard' they single friends. We still need them in our lives; but don't adopt the mindset of a single. Develop the mindset of a married person, which is the seed which will produce after its self, the very same.

Hope this makes sense...



ETA: Made a correction above in 'dark red'.

 

[MrsHaseeb]

Amein... and Amein... Laela's version.

I've learned something in my years of learning...

Stop hanging out with 'singles'... it's depressing. The conversations become a negative confession. Most of my closest friends are married couples and it 'rubs off'.

Couples are great 'match makers'; they know what makes a good mate and they are always trying to hook up singles. It's just their nature; they want everyone to be like them... another married couple to hang out with. And the more a couple likes you, the more they will put into finding the right husband (or it's a guy, the right wife).

I've noticed this a lot...

Scripture:

"Every seed produces after it's own kind..."

Single people cannot produce... Married people can. They love 'creating' (match making) more married couples.

I'm not saying that a single person should 'discard' they single friends. We still need them in our lives; but don't adopt the mindset of a single. Develop the mindset of a married person, which is the seed which will produce after its self, the very same.

Hope this makes sense...

Makes perfect sense to me. My church is huge on family. In fact, when offering time comes, its so inspiring to see how the married couples go around holding hands as they give. It really changed my mind about marriage to see how these men treat their wives. I chose to keep thinking thoughts of that and believe that God can bless me with the same thing these couples have. All of them have been married many years. I guess that's where my hopefulness comes from. The church I grew up in was one of those with very few men. And of the couples that were there I never saw the level of (godly) affection between them I see at my current church. I suppose that's why many women lose hope and never marry. God still sits on the throne and I just won't accept the idea that I'm doomed to be single the rest of my life when God promised me the desires of MY heart. What we accept to be true is what our experience will be. If we accept the idea of a man shortage we will have that experience.

Sent from my 4G HTC Thunderbolt using LHCF

 

[Shimmie]

Makes perfect sense to me. My church is huge on family. In fact, when offering time comes, its so inspiring to see how the married couples go around holding hands as they give. It really changed my mind about marriage to see how these men treat their wives. I chose to keep thinking thoughts of that and believe that God can bless me with the same thing these couples have. All of them have been married many years. I guess that's where my hopefulness comes from.

The church I grew up in was one of those with very few men. And of the couples that were there I never saw the level of (godly) affection between them I see at my current church. I suppose that's why many women lose hope and never marry.

God still sits on the throne and I just won't accept the idea that I'm doomed to be single the rest of my life when God promised me the desires of MY heart.

What we accept to be true is what our experience will be. If we accept the idea of a man shortage we will have that experience.

Sent from my 4G HTC Thunderbolt using LHCF

Praise God...

I know first hand, this is true...and it's never too late; not with God. It's truly is never too late for love and marriage to enter a person's life.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Stop hanging out with 'singles'... it's depressing. The conversations become a negative confession. Most of my closest friends are married couples and it 'rubs off'.

Couples are great 'match makers'; they know what makes a good mate and they are always trying to hook up singles.

I think there is definitely truth to that As far as hanging out with singles, unless it's a mixed-crowd or each singel is bringing a friend of the opposite gender to "share" with everyone else then it can be self-perpetuating.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Here is a good article I read about a girl who was in a podunk town (right where God wanted her) and God brought her husband into her life evn though everyone told her to move to a bigger city for better prospects: http://www.altcatholicah.com/altcatol/a/b/rsa/4453/ God knew her husband was there all along.

Also, this story is from the famous Ludy couple. Leslie tells the story of her sister in law who never had a boyfriend until she met and married her husband at age 34!
http://www.startmarriageright.com/2011/10/today-i-am/
http://www.setapartgirl.com/mymessage-krissysstory.html

 

[Shimmie]

Here is a good article I read about a girl who was in a podunk town (right where God wanted her) and God brought her husband into her life evn though everyone told her to move to a bigger city for better prospects: http://www.altcatholicah.com/altcatol/a/b/rsa/4453/ God knew her husband was there all along.

Also, this story is from the famous Ludy couple. Leslie tells the story of her sister in law who never had a boyfriend until she met and married her husband at age 34!
http://www.startmarriageright.com/2011/10/today-i-am/
http://www.setapartgirl.com/mymessage-krissysstory.html

These are beautiful testimonies. It's never too late, nor is it impossible to be married....and happily married to the right one.

Thanks, Lady Belle

 

[Shimmie]

To Encourage Everyone Further...

Some Encouraging Notes on Marriage to Hold Dear in One's Heart:

:Rose: God is all for Marriage, it was His sole reason for creating Eve for Adam... which was to be married.

:Rose: God created just 'one' wife for Adam. Not two or three or four or more...just one. There is no polygamy in God's plan for Marriage. God never said, 'cleave unto your wives (or husbands), but to 'cleave unto your wife'.

:Rose: None of you have to worry about 'sharing' your husbands...to prove it further, God said, 'Thou shalt not commit adultery'... meaning no one other than your husband or wife is one to be with.

:Rose: This is to encourage everyone that you do not have to 'settle' for the foolishness of current society with their redefinements. They have the mindsets of siippery soap...always sliding off course.

Disclaimer:

For the sake of those in the 'evolved' mindset...

Marriage is not 'Genderless'. Marriage is between One Man and One Woman.

Sadly we are in an era where we 'now' have to emphasize this regarding Marriage when it is spoken of. It has to be clarified that it is between a Man and a Woman, especially to our children.

 

[Shimmie]

I think there is definitely truth to that As far as hanging out with singles, unless it's a mixed-crowd or each singel is bringing a friend of the opposite gender to "share" with everyone else then it can be self-perpetuating.

You put this so gently. I was way too blunt up post and I have to correct a typo. It should have read, 'Stop hanging out with 'ALL' 'singles'... it's depressing."

Thank you for responding with such soft clarity. We need both 'sets' in our lives. I just don't see it as healthy for a single person to be with solely single groups of people. Having married friends, changes that immensely.