Christian Carter - His insight on how to catch him and keep him

jade998

jade998

Active Member
FOR THE SINGLES - INCASE YOU NEED MORE READING

The 3 Deadly Mistakes Women Make With Men Without EVER Realizing It...

Through my research and personal experience, I've found that these 3 mistakes are responsible for more failed dates and relationships with men than any other factors. Here they are:

» Mistake 1: Leading A Man To Think You Are "Needy" And "Insecure"

Did you know that there are 6 ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you?

Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date.

As you read through these signals men pick up on as "needy" and unattractive, ask yourself if YOU have ever been guilty of committing one of these deadly mistakes:

Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends.
Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.

Speaking negatively about other women.
When women call other women names like "slut", "*****", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.

Too much physical contact, especially in public.
If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.

The next 3 are far deadlier, but less obvious... and it's important that you learn what they are and how to avoid giving them off.

But before I show you how to do that, let's talk about mistake #2:

» Mistake #2: Appealing To His "Sexual" Side Instead Of His Emotional Side

Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sex alone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well.

Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected.

Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF. In a moment, I'll show you how you can learn to do just that...

» Mistake #3: Not Knowing How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential"

A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION.

Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS.

When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road.

If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why.

Here is an example from his book-
A Way To Get A Man's Attention FAST
If you REALLY want to impress a man who is flirting with you... instead of basking in his flirtatious attention, ask him - in an equally flirtatious way - this simple question:

"So tell me... what kind of woman do you respect?"

Adding a flirtatious element to a serious question is fun and inviting way of building SEXUAL TENSION that will instantly separate you from every other woman he's ever met. It lets him know that you're sassy, smart, and selective - an IRRESISTABLE combination.

His book is - catch a guy and keep him (it looks like an e-book), but he does have some interesting idea's

www.catchhimandkeephim.com
 
The Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Men — And What To Do About It...”

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Women Keep Themselves From Living The Love Life Of They're Dreams— And How To Make Sure You Avoid Every One Of Them...

MISTAKE #1: Betting Your Love Life On His “Potential”

Do you know any women who want the man they're dating to behave differently?

Of course you do.

And just like me, I'm sure you have friends who date guys who don't have much going for them or who don't treat them very well.

Somehow these women always have an excuse for the guy's shortcomings.

What's going on here?

It's actually very simple.

Women (and men) don't base their choices of men on how "nice" or "good" someone is to them day-to-day.

Women choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Some women will continue to put up with a guy that doesn't treat them very well.

Sometimes for months or years...

But why in the world would a woman do that!?

Well, to put it simply, they confuse the strong attraction they feel for the guy with a deeper "connection".

Women who do this are doomed to end up in failed relationships with the "wrong" guys.

How do I know?

Because I've seen it at least a hundred times...

And because I've been this guy in the past myself.

Thinking back on past dating and relationships I've had, I was selfish and didn't offer much.

I'm amazed the women put up with me.

But they did...all the while hoping that I would somehow change.

The women I dated hoped I'd change.

The only thing they saw in me that led them to want to keep me around was the "potential" they saw in me to share my feelings and communicate with them.

The potential for something better and the potential for me to change and be a better lover, boyfriend, companion or whatever...

The truth was, I was hopelessly bad at these things at the time.

And more importantly, I wasn't even at a place in my life where I knew how to or was interested in developing a deep and committed relationship - with ANYONE.

But deep down these women believed that if they tried hard enough, that it would make up for what was lacking.

They believed that I could become someone else with them.... and that this would be easy for us both.

Talk about a losing battle.

It doesn't make a lot of "logical" sense...

But until you accept that lots of women do this AND that YOU could be doing it on some level, you'll NEVER have the success with men that you choose and want.


MISTAKE #2: Assuming You “Get” Men & Their Psychology

Men are different from women.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him.

Lot's of women don't even consciously see that they do this because the process is so obvious and simple for them.

But does the same apply for men?

As you probably already know, men are generally more visual.

As a result, they often don't understand non-verbal communication as well as women.

And men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and "intuition".

Women don't seem to remember this about men.

So do men feel sexually attracted to w0men based just on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, I can tell you that men have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Especially when it comes to longer term relationships.

Looks just happen to be the most obvious way...

But looks are NOT the most powerful.

If you know how to use your body language AND communication correctly, you can make men feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see that hot, great looking guy that you got to know.

But it's not an accident.

You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY woman can learn how...



MISTAKE #3: Pretending To Be Something For A Man

In the desire to please a man, women are constantly doing things to get a man's attention, to get him to like them or to make him more attracted or in love with them.

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guys attention will make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them.

Wrong.

Men YOU TRULY WANT are never attracted to the types of women who kiss up to them, make weak plays for affection or complain to get what they want... EVER.

Don't get me wrong here. Things like being sexy for a man or encouraging him to share his feelings can be good, but it has to be genuine, unselfish, and most of all timely.

You don't have to act like an "easy" woman for men to like you, and you certainly don't have to play like he's some gift to the Earth.

Doing these things actually works to subtly, at an subconscious level, lower your social status with a man, which has EVERYTHING to do with how he sees you as a woman.

So if you think that making him more attracted to you means "playing to the man's fantasies" from the start, think again.

You'll never succeed by looking for a man's approval, finding your way into his heart through sex and not being yourself.



MISTAKE #4: Sharing How You “Feel” Too Early With Him

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they "feel" too early on.

Listen...

Attractive, single, successful men are rare.

They get a LOT of attention from women.

Most women don't realize this, but attractive men are being approached in one way or another all the time by women.

And guess what?

Attractive men have usually dated a lot of women.

That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive men off and sends him running away faster than just about anything...

It's a woman who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.

This signals to the man that you're just like one of those "clingy" stereotype women who want to rush into a relationship and can't control yourself from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives.

This does NOT spell ATTRACTION for a man.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way...



MISTAKE #5: Misreading The Important “Signals” That Men Send

Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves.

Most women don't pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.

The signals men send have 4 main levels:

1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life - stability, confidence, direction

2) Emotional: Whether or not he's "emotionally available"

3) Physical: If he's attracted to you... and for what reasons

4) Love State: If he's open to building and growing a relationship in the future

The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident.

That's great news to women...

Men can't help it!

You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.



MISTAKE #6: Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man's Character

People aren't easy to figure out.

Especially men.

The last several years of my life I've spent hundreds of hours learning to understand people.

I've studied peoples behavior, "inner psychology" and more specifically how they think and act when they're dating.

From what I've seen, both men and women have their own secret ways of saying things.

But you can only see these secret communications if you know what to look for.

Women communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm, and flirting when they're first getting to know a man.

They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they're open to something more serious.

Men are different.

Men generally communicate with sarcasm, humor, cockyness and other "indirect" displays of status.

VERY RARELY will a man be able to honestly communicate to a woman whether or not he's ready or capable of developing a meaningful relationship.

Aside from their sexual interests, men send very indirect signals about where they're at.

If you don't know how to read through the signals men send, then you'll get the wrong message.

Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around.

You can avoid this pain if you learn to indentify a good man from a bad one.
 
MISTAKE #7: Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy

A mistake I've seen women make is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled.

And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens.

But those are the exceptions, not the rule.

Nothing says "Run!" to a man faster than hearing or sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her.

And the men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren't exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there.

Think, "controlling, macho, or serious Mom Issues!"

So let me be clear...

I think it's important that people help fulfill each other in their lives, whether it's dating, a relationship, whatever.

But if a woman communicates that she's looking for a guy to take care of her, complete her, make her whole, and all that kind of stuff - it has a VERY negative effect on what the man will think of her.

It doesn't have to be spoken by the woman either...

If a woman thinks or feels this way, the man will see it and pick up on it, regardless.

This is arguably the worst thing a woman can do early on when dating a man.

So what can you do as a woman?

You can get the man interested and involved in your life in a more "natural" way, where he'll be motivated to make you care about your happiness and fulfillment on his own.

This is the only way it really works for people - male or female.

Self-motivation is much stronger than external motivation.

But you have to know how to create this situation with a man... and it rarely happens by accident.



MISTAKE #8: Trying To “Convince” Him To Like You Or Love You

What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like... but he's just not that interested or isn't as serious?

Right! They try to "convince" the man to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you...

YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, ever.

You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".

Think about it.

If a man doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being "reasonable" with him?

But we all do it.

Men are the worst at this by the way.

They're always complimenting women who don't like them and buying them gifts.

Women like the behavior sometimes, but it NEVER makes the woman like the man.

She might enjoy what she gets out of it, but it doesn't change the way she FEELS about him.

When a man just isn't interested, women will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches.

Bad idea. Another one that will never work.



MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation

A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman...

And I don't mean just sex.

I know, it might be hard to believe, but if you're out on a date with a man, he already has an idea of what he wants from you.

And if you don't know HOW to find this out, and you just sit there looking at him and flirting, or trying things you think will make him want you, he won't help!

If you don't know what to do in each situation, you'll probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.



MISTAKE #10: Not Getting Help

This is the biggest mistake of all.

This mistake keeps women from EVER having the kind of success and finding the kind of man and relationship that they truly want

Sooooo Sorry that it is so long, happy reading
 
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this must be my alpha reflection cause I was browsing the net for something similar yesterday and I came across his website and remembered his name for the next time I'm in BnN.
 
I think it was teasers for people to go get his book. I am looking into it.If I get it I will try to post some of the solutions that he says.

Unfortunately, I am not sure if he deliever's on his answers, so I can't advocate the book, but I am looking to see if I should get it.

abenyo - I had to look up - Alpha intentions - looks interesting
 
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jade998 said:
FOR THE SINGLES - INCASE YOU NEED MORE READING

A Way To Get A Man's Attention FAST
If you REALLY want to impress a man who is flirting with you... instead of basking in his flirtatious attention, ask him - in an equally flirtatious way - this simple question:

"So tell me... what kind of woman do you respect?"

Adding a flirtatious element to a serious question is fun and inviting way of building SEXUAL TENSION that will instantly separate you from every other woman he's ever met. It lets him know that you're sassy, smart, and selective - an IRRESISTABLE combination.
Click to expand...

Whoo, the bolded part is the business!:yep:
 
jade998 said:
I think it was teasers for people to go get his book. I am looking into it.If I get it I will try to post some of the solutions that he says.

Unfortunately, I am not sure if he deliever's on his answers, so I can't advocate the book, but I am looking to see if I should get it.

abenyo - I had to look up - Alpha intentions - looks interesting
Click to expand...

I agree. If he gave away all the secrets then he wouldn't be a very good businessman!

If anyone has read the book, please post your reviews:yep:
 
Ohhh.. Thanks for that cocoberry.. It was interesting.

It is anything that I don't know already, but I still make the same mistakes, and I have been getting light bulb moments on the stupid mistakes I did in relationships. I am ready to be hit across the head with all this reading and absorbing this year - It is truely NO FOOLISHNESS IN THE '08 for me
 
Hey Ladies, Most ladies might already know all of this, but I am one of those people that has been clueless in relationships, I thought I knew, but I really didn't :D

I will post more things for Christian Carter here as I have signed up to his newsletter

............

Our topic this week is one that I've foundwomen to most often UNDERESTIMATE while dating orbeing in a relationship. And it has EVERYTHING to do with why a man will choose to STAY or WITHDRAW in a relationship. See... some women naturally understand what this "thing" is that I'm talking about and nevercome across some of the other common problems that other women run into again and again with men and relationships. They have an actual SKILL that they use intuitively, which causes the men they're with toactually CHASE THEM and LEAD THEM into a committed and loving relationship.

Isn't that how it's "supposed" to be anyhow? It is, IF you know how to trigger specific emotions and responses inside a man. Anyway... I've also found that there is a whole othergroup of women out there... I'm talking about the women who DON'T get thisi mportant thing about men, and don't "naturally" possess the ability or skill that keeps a man feeling close, attracted and connected. At least not in a way that's so powerful that it lasts more than a few days or weeks and has the guy thinking: "Maybe this is the one!?" In fact, women who don't "get it" often find themselves trying to CONVINCE a man of all kinds of "basic" things that he SHOULD FEEL with a woman he's with.

These usually include: - Convincing a man that he should open up and share his feelings for her - Convincing a man that he should share his personal thoughts and feelings, so they can beclose and intimate - Convincing a man to be loyal and monogamous - Convincing a man to do things to show that he cares and thinks about her - Convincing a man that he should have an interesti n HER life and HER friends and family - Convincing a man that he should want to be with her, and only her - Convincing a man that a commitment and a longterm relationship is what he wants with her.

So let me ask you a very simple question... Which situation sounds better to you- A) Being a woman who "gets" certain things about a man that, in turn, gives you the ability to understand what a man is doing and why... and for you to be the kind of woman in a relationship that will make a man KNOW, with his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, that he wants to be close and connectedwith you, and only you. Or... B) Being a woman who just doesn't understand where a man is coming from and why everything has to be so difficult... and sensing that a man isn't "there with you"... and not having a man who"feels it" for you on an intense-passionate- gut-reaction-emotional-gotta-be-with-her-or-else kindof level. Which situation sounds better to you?

And which has a higher potential for "success" when it comes to a real, loving, and lasting relationship? Obviously, the first one. But which situation can you honestly identify with more? Unfortunately, if you're like lots of women I've talked to about men, dating andrelationships, then you identify more with the second situation. Well, guess what? I've got GOOD NEWS for you... That's right, I said GOOD NEWS. This "skill" that I'm talking about here, which often means the difference between a woman experiencing more of the first situation above,instead of the second, is NOT something a woman has to be born with or else will never have. The truth is, as difficult as it might be to believe right now, ANY WOMAN can learn these skills. And any woman can quickly begin improving her dating life, or her relationship with that one special man. And how do I know this? Because I've helped literally thousands ofwomen do exactly this - transform their love lifef rom a difficult and painful uphill struggle to anoften effortless journey filled with more love andfulfillment than they ever had before. Regardless of where they were at to begin with.

THE POWER OF ATTRACTION, AND HOW IT WORKS FOR MEN Ok, so enough of the teasing, right? What in the world is this "skill" and ability that some women naturally have, and others don't,that I've been talking about here? What I'm talking about here is[ ATTRACTION. Before you read further, I'd like you to take aminute and think about what the word ATTRACTION means to you. By the way, I'm talking about the FEELING of attraction here and what creates or destroys it. See if you can WRITE DOWN exactly what you think the word ATTRACTION means. (The process of writing down your thoughts helps you to organizethem, and I also recommend that you keep a journal of your experiences as you improve in each area of your life). There are no right or wrong answers here, so think about it for a few minutes... And ACTUALLY WRITE YOUR THOUGHTS DOWN. ... ... ... OK, did you do that? Good. So what did you come up with?

A lot of women seem to think that ATTRACTION is when one person wants what another person has. Some think of ATTRACTION as the result of being good-looking or otherwise "attractive". In fact, I think a LOT of people confuse ATTRACTION with "being attractive". When I think of the concept of ATTRACTION, Ithink of it primarily as an EMOTION. In other words, ATTRACTION IS A FEELING that we either feel, or we don't. And there's not much of anything at all inbetween when it comes to a man being at a place where he's ready to be open, loving and COMMITTED with a woman... long term. It seems to me that attraction is actually more of a COMBINATION of powerful experiences and beliefs that come together to form a very, very special and all powerful SUPER-EMOTION. However you think about it, there is a process that happens between men and women that keeps them connecting - to get together both physically and emotionally in relationships. In fact, think about this... You are reading this right now, which is a miracle. Think of the thousands upon thousands ofgenerations of ancestors that you have had... and think about the fact that EACH ONE WAS ABLE TO FIND A PARTNER TO MATE WITH. And not one of them died in childhood. And then think about the fact that you were the sole winner in a race of five hundred MILLION or so sperm trying to get to the egg and burrowinside. You are the result of, and represent, probably the most amazing, delicate and rare process ever. One of the parts of this process that fascinates me is how each pair of your ancestors decided to get together with THAT PARTICULAR PERSON at THAT PARTICULAR TIME. Your ancestors chose each other over other potential mates or partners for specific reasons,qualities and characteristics. Most of which have been passed to you. Now, I know that some women might be upset that I'm talking about this whole concept in such ananalytical and detached way... If you're one of those women, stop reading now! lol... The point here is that there is a LOT to learn from the underlying "biological processes" tha thave ultimately resulted in you being here right now. After working, studying and observing things inthis area for several years, and listening and working with women, it finally dawned on me that ATTRACTION WAS BASICALLY EVERYTHING. If a man feels ATTRACTION for a woman, on a deep emotional level BEYOND PHYSICAL ATTRACTION,then nothing else really matters. Not looks, age, nationality, wealth, religion,etc. Not peer pressure from friends and family. Not even where a man is in his own life, which he often uses as an excuse - such as where his career is, his personal income, that he needs his freedom, he's too young, he needs to "have his fun" before he settles down... all that stuff. None of it matters! On the other hand, if a man DOESN'T feel ATTRACTION for a woman, then nothing else matters in that case either! You can't "talk" a man into feeling ATTRACTION any more than you can "talk" a person who hasn't eaten for three days out of feeling hungry

Part 2 continues below
 
Unfortunately, some women try all the things they can think of that would work FOR THEM, and try and make a man feel a certain way about them inside. Think back to the "convincing behaviors" I listed earlier... This is about as likely to work as trying to "hypnotize" a man and programming his mind to fallin love with you. Well... maybe I shouldn't have given you that idea... lol I can see it now - there will be hundreds of women out there swinging time pieces in front of their emotionally unavailable men trying to put them into a "suggestive state".

Ok, enough kidding around... What I'm trying to say is that one day it hit me like a ton of bricks that ATTRACTION IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN. If you don't know what it is or how to create it, you'll wander around trying different strategies (most of them based on what you think would work for YOU) and probably never land on something that works consistently. Once I realized this "truth", all kinds of things that didn't make sense before INSTANTLY made sense to me. All of a sudden I realized why women dated egotistical selfish jerks... ATTRACTION. All of a sudden I realized why men dated neurotic and "bi@tchy" women... ATTRACTION. And I also saw the FLIP SIDE! I realized why men pass up women who are honest, stable, attractive, and wonderful. And instead, went for women who had much, much less to offer... ALL because of ATTRACTION. Think of ATTRACTION like a drug (which itreally is). If a man is under the influence of it,then he's gone. He'll do anything to get more. If he's NOT under the influence, then YOU'RE gone. Nothing you do will matter if he doesn't feel it. If you doubt what I'm saying, ask the next 10 SUPER HOT men you see what they think of this.Read this newsletter to them, and watch their reactions. You'll see.

OK, now that you've heard a little bit more of my personal perspective, I'd like you to look back into your life and think about all those situations with men that made no sense at all... Think about the men that you treated wonderfully that passed you up and went on to the "bi@tchy" woman... and think about all the male "friends" you've had... the ones who told you they wanted a "nice girl"... but kept dating the same kind of neurotic "bad girl" who didn't have her life together AT ALL. Is it all making sense now?

THEY DIDN'T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU! YOU WERE BEING THE "SUPER-FRIEND", AND YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS HAVING THE EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT OF WHAT YOU WANTED! AND WORSE YET, THERE WASN'T A DAMN THING YOU COULD DO ABOUT IT!

It's harsh to think about, but it's true. (Bythe way, if you don't do something to learn how to make men feel ATTRACTION, and not just physical attraction which won't last, then most likely,this is going to keep happening to you for the rest of your life.) I have to point out one more thing. As I mentioned earlier, I think a lot of women confuse the idea of being "attractive" with the emotioncalled ATTRACTION. You can make a man feel an INCREDIBLE ATTRACTION, even though you're not what most people would think of as "attractive". But, of course, you have to know HOW... The point is, that if you're not perfectly thin, "done-up" and "flawless" (and... who is)

How, you ask, can this happen? Well, you've read about avoiding the common and destructive behavior of trying to CONVINCE a manto feel any of these things "logically". That's a part of it. That's a small part of what NOT to do. But there are several other pieces of th epuzzle, from voice tone and body language, to secrets of powerful and "opening" communication,to specific ways to respond and "challenge" a man to get him physically and emotionally engaged, and everything in between. It's a system, and it all works together. There are two KEY aspects of learning how to besuccessful with men, dating and relationships: 1) The "Inner Stuff" 2) The "Outer Stuff"

The "Inner Stuff" is all about learning how toTHINK and how to manage your thoughts, intentions,emotions and energy. It's also about understanding how and why attractive men feel that amazing emotion called ATTRACTION for some women, and not others. The "Outer Stuff" is all of the how-to's: what to say, when, how and why. Which is more important? Well, they're BOTH important. But what I notice is that most women just want this whole "problem" of finding a great man and arriving in a close, secure, loving, lastingrelationship, to go away. They want to "arrive" into an unflinching love where each person truly understands the other on a deep, deep level. But the strange part is that they want to learn the "Outer Stuff" first because they believe thatit's just a matter of saying the right things so that there's love and understanding. In other words, they want the female versions of "pick-up" lines. Except, the end goal isn't sex - like it often is for men with pick-up lines. It's often wanting more of a deep, loving,lasting commitment built over-night. Which leads us to the "Inner Stuff".

The REASON that the "Inner Stuff" is so important, is that attractive men don't judge you on what you can say about true love and how much you really want it in your life. And just because a man talks to you, gets your phone number or email address, or takes you out ona date DOES NOT mean that he FEELS anything deep inside. And here's where I draw an IMPORTANTdistinction for you.

There are 2 types of ATTRACTION a man can feel. And for a man to become "serious" about a woman, he HAS to feel BOTH. Men don't DECIDE to feel ATTRACTION for a woman. ATTRACTION is something that happens on its own, for its own reasons. Sure, it's relatively easy, in the grand scheme of things, for a man to feel "PHYSICAL ATTRACTION". But having a man feel what I call "INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION", is a whole different story.
 
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Okay - Last Post I promise :lachen::lachen:

From his e-book - I can't copy and past so I will try to summarize best I can

- A man can't feel an intelletual attaction to you, if he doesn't see you as equal in life
- If he even see's you as higher status, the attaction can intensify

Traits that attact men
- Inteligent and creative
- Thougthfulness
- Adventurous
- perceptive/noticing things- Men loves when a women notice things that makes them (men) unique
- confident/playful
- Talented - Don't brag about it i.e notice how amazing I am, I am soooo inteligent, but bring it up in situations that is needed for, i.e look at this, isn't this interesting...

What do women that get men natuarally do at the early stages:
- They keep early interaction with men short and fun
- They are unpredictable
- Regardless of what a man says, they don't get ratteled or off balance
- They never let conversations get too serious too soon
- They offer challenging twists in conversation
- Challenge men on issues in non dramatic, non-threathing way
- When a man is flirting with them, they just don't accept the compliments, they throw the ball back to add intrigue.

Fear, Neediness and insecurity are the ultimate killers of attraction

He made another point that I thought was interesting:
Women who are not approached by men as often are usually the one that can tell a good man from a player.

He also said that while it works, enticing a man for a physical atraction only, will only get you dissapointed in the long run, let a man fall for more than how you look.

he also states - I guess like the goddess thread:
If a man does anything that upsets up, you will have to make confident and assertive observation and firmly but calmly tell him that his distant behaviour is not something that you are looking for in your life - and leave it at that. It is better than going into a whole sermon on why you will not tolerate that.

And My last tip from Chrstian Carter....... 4 now :lachen:
If you create a senario in your mind about comittment and tell this to the guy at the beginning of your relationship, you will create more distance between the two of you. There is a huge difference between obtaining your own desires and demanding from someone that they are responsible to give you what you want. If you make a man feel like you are TELLING him or that you are needy about the future, a man's 'stay single' trigger will go off

If there are anything that you don't agree with feel free to post. I am interested in what you think
 
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girl this is some great stuff. I've been waiting for you to finish the series :lol:

but um how can a sister get a copy of the ebook..... free:look: :grin:

also i agree and will be using what he said.
 
abenyo said:
girl this is some great stuff. I've been waiting for you to finish the series :lol:

but um how can a sister get a copy of the ebook..... free:look: :grin:

also i agree and will be using what he said.
Click to expand...

GIRL, I broke down and got it, i am serious this year :D
 
cocoberry10 said:
Whoo, the bolded part is the business!:yep:
Click to expand...

here is more that he quotes:

So what is your weakness when it comes to women?
How would your last girlfriend describe you to her friend?
What have you always wanted in a woman that you have not come across yet?

the key here is, to challenge a man thoughts and opinion in a playful way, not like an interview.
 
Ive signed up in the past for emails After many men met me and ran for hills....theres only so much i cant play that whole "men are scum" game before realizing i just might doing something to cause it. alot of the things he had to say helped me realize alot of things i may have been doing to push men away and not even realize it. Once i started following his tips i noticed and difference attraction and response from men. and now i have a BF :)

His emails ARE teasers to buy his books but....i never paid a dime and still got alot out of what was mentioned in the emails.

The funny thing is one of the first emails i recieved mentioned that a year from then i'd have no problems catching and keeping men. I signed up for the emails in january 07 right after my bday. My so at that time stood me up and i never heard from him again and i was at my wits end....

Sure enough on xmas eve of 07 my now BF asked me to be with him!
 
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LilMorenita said:
Ive signed up in the past for emails After many men met me and ran for hills....theres only so much i cant play that whole "men are scum" game before realizing i just might doing something to cause it. alot of the things he had to say helped me realize alot of things i may have been doing to push men away and not even realize it. Once i started following his tips i noticed and difference attraction and response from men. and now i have a BF :)

His emails ARE teasers to buy his books but....i never paid a dime and still got alot out of what was mentioned in the emails.

The funny thing is one of the first emails i recieved mentioned that a year from then i'd have no problems catching and keeping men. I signed up for the emails in january 07 right after my bday. My so at that time stood me up and i never heard from him again and i was at my wits end....

Sure enough on xmas eve of 07 my now BF asked me to be with him!
Click to expand...

so let me find out you kept this secret to yourself and didn't share.... humph don't do it again missy.

I get his emails also.
 
Covergirl5906 said:
please let us know how you like the book....the info looks good so far....I may have to break down too if it's worth it.
Click to expand...

When i come across anything that i think i should share, i will.

The e-book is quite long - 270 pages, and he does go on a bit in some places, but the general idea is good. i would advice signing up for his e-mail and if there is anything in the e-mail that you want elaborated on, i could check the book for you
 
glad you said that. This is the email I received today: (I also posted it in the 2008 challenge)

If you have a FRIEND (man or woman) and you
like them, and you want to make them like you
more, then when you do some nice things for them
they will probably actually like and appreciate
you more. As a friend.

On the other hand...

If you have a man that you "like" in a romantic
way, and he doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do
something nice for him, because you want HIM to
like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and he will not
only NOT like you more, but he will most likely
distance himself from you.

Women think that they need to communicate
verbally when they like a man... as if that's part
of the necessary process of getting a guy.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like him >Tell him you like him >He likes you

If you follow this pattern with men who aren't
already FEELING much ATTRACTION or CONNECTION with
you, then it's probably going to BACKFIRE.

If he's not into you, then it goes like THIS:

He thinks of you as a friend>You tell him you
like him>He gets that "yikes" feeling and
withdraws...

THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer is what to do if you're in a
situation where you like a particular guy, but you
don't know if he likes you back.

DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HIM.

Don't buy him a big gift, do something nice to
show him how much you think about him, or write
him a love letter...

Don't send him a note to his work that says,
"From your secret admirer".

Don't call him several times, without hearing
from him.

And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for him.

If you want to know how he feels about you, do
something to ATTRACT HIM and see how he reacts
instead of telling him you love him and hearing
the crickets chirp as you wait for his response.

As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HIM.
Use SIGNALS from him to find out how he feels...
and if you don't know how to read and create those
signals, then LEARN.

Asking a man if he's interested in you in a
romantic way, or if you are "his type", will
actually DESTROY the chances that his attraction
and interest in you will grow.

Really.

The SECOND answer is to not get into this
particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it
entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the
beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of
how and why the physical and emotional response of
ATTRACTION is triggered in men.

One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM
THE BEGINNING.

he said that he talk about the very best ways to
learn EXACTLY HOW TO MAKE A MAN FEEL ATTRACTION
for you.
in my ebook I also talk
about how attraction, communication, psychology
and emotions all play into the longer term "stuff"
to create a solid foundation for a lasting
relationship.
Click to expand...

could you please post what he says specifically in his book regarding the bold?

thanks
 
I will try my best:

Here is the summary from that chapter

Physical attraction is the basic driver for men at the early stage of dating, but it is the more deeper intellectual and emotional atraction that gets a man from feeling casual about a woman to feeling committed and wanting a life and future with her.

Learn to internally 'observe' your emotional reaction as it take's place. It can have an unbelievably calming effect on your life

Emotions does NOT have to have an asssociate action or reaction if you learn to observe them internally. They are just one important part of you but they do not fully define you as a woman. Be bigger than just what is in the moment. Be a mature woman

The physically euphoric 'love symptoms' of the honeymoon stage of early dating die down and change to the more comfrotable bonding stage

Emotions are CONTAGIOUS. Use the science of contagious emotions to improve communication and situation with men. If emotions are contagious, take some time to look at what you are spreading in your relationship.

Behaving like a victim will no get you far with a man, It is hard in the moment. but satisfying and rewarding in the long run, to be the woman who take responsibility for all the things in her life, especially her feelings and how they are communicated makes a man respond

There is a chapter on why men like 'cool' girls, I will write down what makes a cool girl and what doesn't tomorrow.

here is a teaser

Cool girl
- Cool girl doesn't always have to be in control. They are willing to go with the flow when it comes to social things but make assertions when they have opinions and idea's

Not so cool girl
- Don't minimize you feelings if you are really affected or bothered by something (Do't say it is okay then mope all night), Men have a sense of intuition too, so do not lie about your feeings. Take your time to observe your feelings and be patients about how you express them think about, consider what reponse your words are going to get out of your man.
 
I'll read this thread more later, but I have to say that I like this guy's work. I subscribed to his e-mail list last year and I learned a lot.

Didn't buy his e-book, but I bought one by some other guy last year who also offered a 15-minute counseling session by phone. He made some GREAT points... his name was Bob Grant, I think.
 
abenyo said:
girl this is some great stuff. I've been waiting for you to finish the series :lol:

but um how can a sister get a copy of the ebook..... free:look: :grin:

also i agree and will be using what he said.
Click to expand...

Do a search on whatever file-sharing program you use. I found myself a copy of chapters 1-10 that way :sekret:.
 
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