Cheating

[controlFreak]

I have just discovered my partner of 6 months has cheated on me with a girl he met. He claims to have only kissed her, but i don't know whether this is true.

I found messages from her on his email...it seems they have been 'talking' for 2 months or so.

Been having a debate with my friends, they say I am over reacting. I want to leave him.

Do you guys think i'm being OTT? To me, cheating is cheating, be it intercourse, kissing or whatever

 

[drasgrl]

Sorry about that. He's just not that into you if he's talking, kissing, and whatever else with another woman. I don't think you're overreacting if you want to be in an exclusive relationship. If you two had agreed to see other people then I can see you overreacting but it doesn't sound like you had an open relationship. I'd dump him too and find someone who wants to be with me and only me.

 

[carcajada]

I agree with ^^^^^ that he wasn't really into you if he started talking to someone else 2 months ago. Just imagine what he'll do if you stay with him for 12 months? Face it, this guy isn't ready to be exclusive.

 

[Jessica Rabbit]

Are you on the sae page as far as your commitment level and relationship status?

 

[QUINN]

Wow, Ma. I'll say what I always say, only you know what you can and cannot tolerate.

If you feel that you can get past this with him (meaning y'all definitely need to discuss this in depth) and not continuously bring it up during subsequent disagreements, then go for it, stay with him.

If you feel like you are not going to be able to let it go, then it's really not worth it.

 

[controlFreak]

I am very shocked, as I have known him a long while, and this is so out of character. When I found out, none of our mutual friends believed me. He is the last person you would expect to do something like this.

He claims it was a drunken mistake, but he has kissed her on 3 separate occassions, so I really do wonder.

Apparently the girl is known to be very persistent, but this doesn't change anything.

A small part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and forgive, but then I wonder what if he actually likes this girl? What do I do then...

 

[vestaluv1]

Hi honey.
Sorry to hear this has happened to you, but I'm thinking that it's probably a good thing that you've only been with him for 6 months and have not invested too much time in him.
I don't think you're overreacting at all. The best judgement of one's future behaviour is one's past behaviour and if I were you, I would leave him alone too.
He's admitted to 'just' kissing this girl...so what...that's STILL cheating in my book...what were his intentions with her, why did he just have to kiss this girl...what did he not admit to. I'm not accusing him of doing anything else, but betrayal is betrayal on whatever level.

This has probably made you lose a lot of faith in him and you may not ever trust him again. These sort of feelings in a relationship are damaging.

You know you deserve more than this and he's showing you some bad signs very early on.
Cut your loses, move on and be happy!

 

[controlFreak]

I think I can get past this particular incident, but I worry about the future..

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I have just discovered my partner of 6 months has cheated on me with a girl he met. He claims to have only kissed her, but i don't know whether this is true.

I found messages from her on his email...it seems they have been 'talking' for 2 months or so.

Been having a debate with my friends, they say I am over reacting. I want to leave him.

Do you guys think i'm being OTT? To me, cheating is cheating, be it intercourse, kissing or whatever

He kissed her? Come on...take it or leave it..it's all up to you...{Me? I'd be in the wind}.

ClassyND..that video makes me laugh as the girl he fell on was probably freaking but I see the faller was watching the man!

 

[carcajada]

He kissed her? Come on...take it or leave it..it's all up to you...{Me? I'd be in the wind}.

ClassyND..that video makes me laugh as the girl he fell on was probably freaking but I see the faller was watching the man!

And the man was looking back at him!

 

[shinyblackhair]

I hate to be so blunt, but I agree with the other ladies. Leave now, while you aren't married and have kids together. Channel your inner Beyonce..."To the left, to the left!!!" LOL...

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

I'd cut him lose. Did he really have THREE drunken mistakes? Next is he going to accidently fall "into" her?

 

[controlFreak]

He said he met her when they were drunk, and they kissed on that occassion...then he walked away.

Then apparently she pursued him, (got his number from a friend of his)..and then from there they met up and it happened all over again.

Don't think I can trust him again...it's almost as if he was trying to date her, why did he see her again?

 

[donna894]

He said he met her when they were drunk, and they kissed on that occassion...then he walked away.

Then apparently she pursued him, (got his number from a friend of his)..and then from there they met up and it happened all over again.

Don't think I can trust him again...it's almost as if he was trying to date her, why did he see her again?

It doesn't matter that she pursued him. What's important is how he responded to the situation while knowing he was in a relationship with you. He responded by choosing to meet up with her again. Why did he see her again - because he wanted to!

Now you have to decide what you want to do. Best of luck to you. I know you're disappointed, but its better for these things to happen sooner than later.

 

[Jessica Rabbit]

It doesn't matter that she pursued him. What's important is how he responded to the situation while knowing he was in a relationship with you. He responded by choosing to meet up with her again. Why did he see her again - because he wanted to!

Now you have to decide what you want to do. Best of luck to you. I know you're disappointed, but its better for these things to happen sooner than later.

I concur.

If she got his number from somebody and it was only drunken mistakes, why are they e-mailing?

 

[drasgrl]

I am very shocked, as I have known him a long while, and this is so out of character. When I found out, none of our mutual friends believed me. He is the last person you would expect to do something like this.

He claims it was a drunken mistake, but he has kissed her on 3 separate occassions, so I really do wonder.

Apparently the girl is known to be very persistent, but this doesn't change anything.

A small part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and forgive, but then I wonder what if he actually likes this girl? What do I do then...

Let him go. If he likes her where does that leave you?

 

[locabouthair]

LEAVE HIM!!!

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Maybe the first drunken kiss really was a mistake.

But the subsequent meetings and kissing were not. He's an adult, and knew exactly what he was doing.
He was more than willing to risk your relationship.

I wouldn't be able to trust he wouldn't do something like this (or worse) again.

 

[locabouthair]

Maybe the first drunken kiss really was a mistake.

But the subsequent meetings and kissing were not. He's an adult, and knew exactly what he was doing.
He was more than willing to risk your relationship.

I wouldn't be able to trust he wouldn't do something like this (or worse) again.

Exactly. OP, I know you're hurt but at least you found out now, 6 months into the relationship than years down the road.

 

[aja1121]

It doesn't matter that she pursued him. What's important is how he responded to the situation while knowing he was in a relationship with you. He responded by choosing to meet up with her again. Why did he see her again - because he wanted to!

Now you have to decide what you want to do. Best of luck to you. I know you're disappointed, but its better for these things to happen sooner than later.

I totally agree. When a guy is totally into you; he will not get caught up in stuff like this. It doesn't matter how long you have known him...sometimes that transition from friends to lovers changes things.

 

[sky_blu]

I think if he's willing to kiss her if given the opportunity things can go further. At least it did in my case later on. I forgave him but I ended up speaking with the girl he "kissed" and she told me that he was willing to go further. *dont ask me how that happened I was crazy back then *

 

[song_of_serenity]

The fact that you "discovered" it and he didn't tell you himself is very telling.
The fact that ok, first time, count as a "drunk" mistake and happened TWO OTHER TIMES? No, not a mistake AT all...
And then they have been emailing for two months? After a "drunk mistake?" FOR WHAT?

Sorry, OP but that's very shady. He would have continued (and I don't believe it was only kissing) this "relationship" had you not found out. People can do things out of character. But to continue with it? Sorry, but that becomes what he is.
~*Janelle~*

 

[shebababy]

If you want to leave, leave. You will only be angry with yourself if you let others dictate what you should do or feel in a relationship

 

[Blossssom]

Sorry about that. He's just not that into you if he's talking, kissing, and whatever else with another woman. I don't think you're overreacting if you want to be in an exclusive relationship. If you two had agreed to see other people then I can see you overreacting but it doesn't sound like you had an open relationship. I'd dump him too and find someone who wants to be with me and only me.

Ditto...... don't waste another second.

 

[controlFreak]

Thanks for the responses ladies.

It just so happens that the other girl is a friend of one of his close friends. My guy confessed all to him after he came to the flat and saw the girl there.

It has gone further than kissing (he hasn't slept with her, YET) and apparently he has been telling her that his relationship with me is good, but isn't really going anywhere/no future.

I feel like such a mug, I can't believe he could do this, and worst of all, in front of our friends.

 

[tocktick]

if i were you, i wouldn't buy his story and would make a swift exit. however, assuming for a minute that he really has only kissed her, presuming you didn't find out when you did, it's possible he may have slept with her later down the line anyway. the fact that he has been talking to this woman for 2 months and she wasn't just some one-off drunken kiss in a club or whatever, is what i would have issues with. his emotional attachment would be the bigger blow to me, if i were in your shoes.

 

[simplertimes]

I have just discovered my partner of 6 months has cheated on me with a girl he met. He claims to have only kissed her, but i don't know whether this is true.

I found messages from her on his email...it seems they have been 'talking' for 2 months or so.

Been having a debate with my friends, they say I am over reacting. I want to leave him.

Do you guys think i'm being OTT? To me, cheating is cheating, be it intercourse, kissing or whatever

It's only been six months and you are already dealing with this nonsense???? DUMP THAT ZERO!!! I've been down that road too many times before. MEN ONLY GET WORSE as time goes on, NEVER BETTER

6 months of dating = him kissing another girl 3 times
12 months of dating= you don't wanna know

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Thanks for the responses ladies.

It just so happens that the other girl is a friend of one of his close friends. My guy confessed all to him after he came to the flat and saw the girl there.

It has gone further than kissing (he hasn't slept with her, YET) and apparently he has been telling her that his relationship with me is good, but isn't really going anywhere/no future.

I feel like such a mug, I can't believe he could do this, and worst of all, in front of our friends.

Nice guy, he tells everybody but you your relationship isn't going anywhere...I want to smack him.
What a dickweed. You are much better off without this lying cheating scumbag in your life.

Just hold your head up high...your friends know who was done dirty in this deal. You did nothing wrong -- he's the one who acted like a dunce.

 

[cutebajangirl]

Thanks for the responses ladies.

It just so happens that the other girl is a friend of one of his close friends. My guy confessed all to him after he came to the flat and saw the girl there.

It has gone further than kissing (he hasn't slept with her, YET) and apparently he has been telling her that his relationship with me is good, but isn't really going anywhere/no future.

I feel like such a mug, I can't believe he could do this, and worst of all, in front of our friends.

You'd be crazy to stay after this, clearly he feels like time is up on your relationship and is looking for the next chick. It would have been nice for him to tell you, but thank goodness you found out anyway. Next his butt!

 

[drasgrl]

Thanks for the responses ladies.

It just so happens that the other girl is a friend of one of his close friends. My guy confessed all to him after he came to the flat and saw the girl there.

It has gone further than kissing (he hasn't slept with her, YET) and apparently he has been telling her that his relationship with me is good, but isn't really going anywhere/no future.

I feel like such a mug, I can't believe he could do this, and worst of all, in front of our friends.

At least now you know. Take a day or two, cry, eat, morn, vent to your friends. Think about the good things that happened then realize he wasn't the one for you. Things happen for a reason. Let him go and wish him luck. Take the time to do the things for you and work on being the best person you can be. Trust me the best revenge really is living well.