Celebrating our 4 yrs of dating

[ManeVixen]

My SO and I have been dating for 4 yrs officially this month (Ive been claiming it all year ) We need a second vehicle so we decided not to go on vacation this year however we were thinking about having an anniversary dinner with family and friends...is that cheesy because we are not married??

 

[Maracujá]

I don't think it's cheesy at all. Congrats by the way, and whatever you decide to do, have a great time.

 

[Nayeli]

Congratulations! Not cheesy in my opinion. You don't need marriage to sit down and have a nice dinner lol.

 

[ManeVixen]

I don't think it's cheesy at all. Congrats by the way, and whatever you decide to do, have a great time.

Congratulations! Not cheesy in my opinion. You don't need marriage to sit down and have a nice dinner lol.

Thanks ladies!!!.....your right it will be a nice little dinner

 

[PopLife]

Not at all, as long as you're happy with the one your with...congrats!

 

[ThickHair]

Congrats. Just have a celebration, anniversary sounds like a celebration of marriage.

 

[Nyssa28]

I agree with Thickhair....Anniversary sounds like a stretch to me.

 

[SHEANITPRO]

A celebration sounds really nice. Just put the fam on notice, to not be pushing the "marriage envelope" on yall at the gathering.

 

[Still Sexy Stewardess]

A celebration sounds really nice. Just put the fam on notice, to not be pushing the "marriage envelope" on yall at the gathering.

For real. They might think it's a surprise engagement party and start asking annoying questions (like I would).

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

With the "anniversary" title, i think ur just setting yallselves up for a bunch of snickering, wondering, and gossiping behind ur back. Just say a "celebration"....in my opinion

 

[hopeful]

I think you two should celebrate privately and hold off on a dinner party. Unless you guys don't plan on marrying, I would wait until I could have an engagement party. Four years is a long time to date someone and I'm happy for you, but I have never heard of a couple having a party for dating _____ years.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I think you two should celebrate privately and hold off on a dinner party. Unless you guys don't plan on marrying, I would wait until I could have an engagement party. Four years is a long time to date someone and I'm happy for you, but I have never heard of a couple having a party for dating _____ years.

ITA! That sounds a bit much for just dating. When you getting engaged?

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

My SO and I have been dating for 4 yrs officially this month (Ive been claiming it all year ) We need a second vehicle so we decided not to go on vacation this year however we were thinking about having an anniversary dinner with family and friends...is that cheesy because we are not married??

It's not cheesy, but it is weird. IMO 4 years of dating is great, but objectively speaking there's no real necessity to bring other people in on your celebration unless you are engaged and/or married.

 

[tiara76]

i never new anniversary was a term reserved only for married people

regardless if you call it anniversary or not at the risk of being ridiculed...still what is a valid reason for not celebrating your love with others if thats what you feel like doing regardless what you label it

any reason to celebrate and share some love is a good reason, esp if the reason is significant and important to you...if those you choose to share it with are gonna talk about you maybe its time to start re evaluating your friends

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

i never new anniversary was a term reserved only for married people

regardless if you call it anniversary or not at the risk of being ridiculed...still what is a valid reason for not celebrating your love with others if thats what you feel like doing regardless what you label it

any reason to celebrate and share some love is a good reason, esp if the reason is significant and important to you...if those you choose to share it with are gonna talk about you maybe its time to start re evaluating your friends

I understand with what you're trying to say, but the OP asked if the idea is cheesy. Most peoples first impression of a 4 year dating anniversary celebration are with questions such as, "Where's the ring? Where's the next level of commitment?" In our society dating is viewed as noncommittal and casual whereas getting engaged and married is look as total commitment and serious. That's just how it is. Even with couples that have been together for 20+ years w/o getting married our society questions why.

If she and her SO don't give a damn what people say and want to celebrate then go for it! Best of luck to them.

 

[Bunny77]

Afrolicious,

I don't have a comment on your post, but I love your siggie! RILFS!!! (Revolutionaries did tend to be good looking though... )

 

[tiara76]

I understand with what you're trying to say, but the OP asked if the idea is cheesy. Most peoples first impression of a 4 year dating anniversary celebration are with questions such as, "Where's the ring? Where's the next level of commitment?" In our society dating is viewed as noncommittal and casual whereas getting engaged and married is look as total commitment and serious. That's just how it is. Even with couples that have been together for 20+ years w/o getting married our society questions why.

If she and her SO don't give a damn what people say and want to celebrate then go for it! Best of luck to them.

good ol society and our views gotta love em

I threw away the rules handbook for societal approval a long time ago so every blue moon I still get wowed over things, I really had no idea having a dating anniversary was that big of deal to the point it would bother folks and have them talking about you or even telling you don't do that.....

But if OP is asking if its cheesy then to some degree she must share the same views as others and maybe think her relationship and what its about isn't as important or warranted to celebrate or other peoples opinions/approval are more important than her own about what the relationship is about

 

[Ediese]

Congrats on four years of dating! I think I remember you posting about you guys wanting to wait because your SO was going to Med School. Whenever you guys decide to get married, I know you're going to make a beautiful bride! Um...please don't wait 4 more years. Time passes by too fast, and we end up regretting things.

 

[kayte]

any reason to celebrate and share some love is a good reason, esp if the reason is significant and important to you...if those you choose to share it with are gonna talk about you maybe its time to start re evaluating your friends

Beautifully stated,Tiara76...
and co-sign with the rest of your response

OP...not to get involved in the semantics....
a lil confused,tho..
when you mention a dating relationship

We need a second vehicle

if you have contemplated buying a vehicle together
or co-owning property...and it's been four years....
which could be almost be considered commonlaw
isn't that different than........dating?

 

[kayte]

anniversary n. , pl. -ries . The annually recurring date of a past event, especially one of historical, national, or personal importance:

It's only cheesy... if you invite Kraft to your party

Lovely,have your anniversary party...invite your loved ones....
if it is in your heart to do so...and cherish the memories
Spiritually you are being called to do it..you never know
and as Tiara says what better reason to gather in the name of love

Better gather now than when someone is not on this earthly plane
Do not regret NOT having done something you and your sweetheart
long to do because Emily Post
would have you adhere to some silly formalized social set of rules
and other's gossip which have nothing to do with love

I'm also a firm believer in creating your own ritual that is of deep personal
meaning to you
and that the universe recognizes and rewards....a step out of the box
congrats on four years of courtship bliss
May God bless you

 

[tiara76]

anniversary n. , pl. -ries . The annually recurring date of a past event, especially one of historical, national, or personal importance:

It's only cheesy... if you invite Kraft to your party

Lovely,have your anniversary party...invite your loved ones....
if it is in your heart to do so...and cherish the memories
Spiritually you are being called to do it..you never know
and as Tiara says what better reason to gather in the name of love

Better gather now than when someone is not on this earthly plane
Do not regret NOT having done something you and your sweetheart
long to do because Emily Post
would have you adhere to some silly formalized social set of rules
and other's gossip which have nothing to do with love

I'm also a firm believer in creating your own ritual that is of deep personal
meaning to you
and that the universe recognizes and rewards....a step out of the box
congrats on four years of courtship bliss
May God bless you

you are a beautiful woman kayte I like that, esp the bolded

 

[hopeful]

ManeVixen, you should do what you really want to do IMO. My response had very little to do with etiquette or trying to dismiss your love. Like I said, I am happy for you to have been with your baby for 4 years, I can see that you are proud of that. But I sensed from your post and others as well that what you want to be married, at least engaged. I believe in my heart that that is what you want, not a party celebrating 4 years of dating.

If you are satisfied with your situation and feel content and proud then by all means have your party/celebration/dinner, etc. and be happy. But imo if you feel that you are settling, then I say don't do it. If you have a funny feeling about doing it, then don't do it. I just feel like there are unresolved issues here. Perhaps I am reading too much into things, idk. But I want you to be happy and get what you want and deserve.

After four years I am of the opinion that a man should be ready to propose to you and that you should be ready to be his wife, especially if you have been living together, going on vacations together, buying cars together, etc. But that is my opinion and if you disagree and would be happy dating and/or living together for years then I say go for the party. But if you want more, if you want to be engaged, if you want a man who wouldn't dare date you for 4 years and not be ready to make a permanent committment, then don't do it.

I really wish you all the best.

 

[ManeVixen]

WOW ladies thank you for all the great responses When I created the post I really wasn't thinking about marriage at all.....I just simply wanted to do something different this year and save a little money

ITA! That sounds a bit much for just dating. When you getting engaged?

Honestly, I dont have any idea...but I plan to marry in about 2-3 years

good ol society and our views gotta love em

I threw away the rules handbook for societal approval a long time ago so every blue moon I still get wowed over things, I really had no idea having a dating anniversary was that big of deal to the point it would bother folks and have them talking about you or even telling you don't do that.....

But if OP is asking if its cheesy then to some degree she must share the same views as others and maybe think her relationship and what its about isn't as important or warranted to celebrate or other peoples opinions/approval are more important than her own about what the relationship is about

I did think it was cheesy but now I dont know...my friends and family are not the "when are yall getting married" type of people..my whole family got divorced in 2008 (except my parents) and no one in his family has ever been married so no one talks about marriage around us

Beautifully stated,Tiara76...
and co-sign with the rest of your response

OP...not to get involved in the semantics....
a lil confused,tho..
when you mention a dating relationship



if you have contemplated buying a vehicle together
or co-owning property...and it's been four years....
which could be almost be considered commonlaw
isn't that different than........dating?

I believe your right

ManeVixen, you should do what you really want to do IMO. My response had very little to do with etiquette or trying to dismiss your love. Like I said, I am happy for you to have been with your baby for 4 years, I can see that you are proud of that. But I sensed from your post and others as well that what you want to be married, at least engaged. I believe in my heart that that is what you want, not a party celebrating 4 years of dating.

If you are satisfied with your situation and feel content and proud then by all means have your party/celebration/dinner, etc. and be happy. But imo if you feel that you are settling, then I say don't do it. If you have a funny feeling about doing it, then don't do it. I just feel like there are unresolved issues here. Perhaps I am reading too much into things, idk. But I want you to be happy and get what you want and deserve.

After four years I am of the opinion that a man should be ready to propose to you and that you should be ready to be his wife, especially if you have been living together, going on vacations together, buying cars together, etc. But that is my opinion and if you disagree and would be happy dating and/or living together for years then I say go for the party. But if you want more, if you want to be engaged, if you want a man who wouldn't dare date you for 4 years and not be ready to make a permanent commitment, then don't do it.

I really wish you all the best.

Honestly I really just wanted to generate some anniversary ideas...I really didn't know four years was too long to date..and Im being very serious.. but I see what you mean..thank you for your post!

 

[hopeful]

...Honestly I really just wanted to generate some anniversary ideas...I really didn't know four years was too long to date..and Im being very serious.. but I see what you mean..thank you for your post!

Then I guess I did read too much into it . Four years is not too long to date. It would be for me as an adult but like I said that's me and we all have to make our own choices. If you are comfortable dating 6, 10, even 20 years that is okay so long as you are happy and content. Do whatever makes your heart happy. Have your dinner party, look beautiful, have fun.

 

[ManeVixen]

Then I guess I did read too much into it . Four years is not too long to date. It would be for me as an adult but like I said that's me and we all have to make our own choices. If you are comfortable dating 6, 10, even 20 years that is okay so long as you are happy and content. Do whatever makes your heart happy. Have your dinner party, look beautiful, have fun.

Thanks Hopeful but I read some of your other post you really do give some great relationship advice

 

[Dragone]

Marriage is a legal sanctioning of a state of mind. You can be someone's life partner whether you're married or not, so enjoy your anniversary party! With the number of divorces and affairs these days I think it's ridiculous for anyone to push 'putting a ring on it' like it's some kind of insurance

 

[gn1g]

. . . .

I did think it was cheesy but now I dont know...my friends and family are not the "when are yall getting married" type of people..my whole family got divorced in 2008 (except my parents) and no one in his family has ever been married so no one talks about marriage around us
. . .

BLOWED AWAY!!!

Celebrate every occassion you get, we have too many opportunities to be sad.


Girl do your own thing, whatever it is - it's correct.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

If you and your SO want to do it then its a great idea....not cheesy at all. So go ahead and have your 4 year anniversary dinner with family and friends.


Congratulations!!

 

[ChanelNo5]

Have your little dinner...he may be surprising you with a proposal

 

[Prettyeyes]

Sounds like a good idea but I wouldn't use the word anniversary. I would probaly call it a dinner party to celebrate 4 years of love and togetherness. Best wishes!